Relating an incident of an unsupervised child at CC

[nighttowll]

As someone who almost drowned as a child, I've got to say leaving kids unsupervised in the ocean is a bad idea.

I was a very strong swimmer and learned at a you age. Luckily, we had a rule that there was no swimming without adult supervision. This saved my life. The incident had nothing to do with my ability to swim. Like most drownings it was the result of unforeseen unlikely circumstances coming together to create a bad situation, and that's all it takes. If me and my friend had been swimming alone, I would have drowned. Because we weren't, an adult was able to rescue me. Probably one of the scariest experiences of my life. I remember being under the water and not being able to get to the surface or breathe and feeling like I couldn't hold my breath any longer. I thought I was going to die.

In my opinion, just because you are a good swimmer, have a life vest, or even are an adult, it is always best to have a buddy. It is too easy for something to go wrong - cramp, stingray, unforeseen drop off, large wave, strong current, slip and fall, ....

I wouldn't put myself at risk by going alone, so why would I let a child? That's not helicopter parenting to me. That is basic safety.

As for kids having the run of the ship, I think that's more a case by case basis kind of thing as far as if I'd feel comfortable or not. I'm a big one for teaching personal responsibility at a young age and usually give out more freedom to kids than most preferring real life consequences to teach the lesson where it can be done safely.

I didn't grow up way back when, but I definitely had the run of the neighborhood and all that. In general, the kids in my neighborhood had a lot of freedom and roamed all around together and everyone felt safe. However, due to this laid back attitude I ended up in a few dangerous situations where I was lucky nothing happened.

One time a car tried to pick me and a friend up. Can't remember how old we were, but we were under 10. Luckily, we had been taught to stay way back up in the yard from the street and never go down to a car ever for any reason. I remember very clearly being taught there is never a reason an adult needs a child's help for anything if anyone in a car stops and talks to you, go get an adult. Adults don't ask children for directions. I remember that popped into my head when it happened. We found out later after we talked to the police that a pedophile had been picking up young girls in the neighborhood.

Then there was another time that me and some friends went exploring in an empty house we had been told to stay clear of. What the adults hadn't told us was that there was a group using it as a crack house, and the neighborhood had been working with police to resolve the situation, but it wasn't yet.

Another time we were playing in a construction lot unsupervised and a friend dropped a large board with rusty nails on me and tore my arm open from shoulder to elbow.

Looking back, I'm beginning to think its a miracle I survived, and honestly, we didn't live in a bad neighborhood or anything. We actually lived in a pretty nice middle class neighborhood. Two story brick houses, picket fences, a policeman one door down, a sherif on the other side, Dr. across the street. People just always think it can't happen here until it does.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

I am a helocopter Mom to our two daughters. I make no apology for my vigilence. Why do I watch them so closely? Because back in the day when I was age 5 and my parents weren't watching me, I was molested in a lake by a male stranger. I was off swimming alone and there ya go.

I have done everything in my power to ensure the same thing doesn't happen to my girls. I am saddened to read these stories of parents turning off their parenting. The kindness some of you have shown these lost or left-alone kids is wonderful.

 

[RedSox68]

I think everyone is right that people think this is Disney nothing bad is going to happen well until it does.

And since there are hundreds of people onboard and you don't know the history of each and every one, your child could be exposed to dangers you aren't even aware of! And parents need to stop thinking that DCL will be their babysitter while they are out and about doing their own thing!

On our PC cruise in 2005, we were going back to our room after seeing an adult show in the clubs, and when the elevator doors opened there were two little girls with a tray of drinks. They could not have been more than 6 and 7. I asked them where their parents were and they said at the clubs and that they had been exploring the ship. And this was at Midnight!

 

[GrannyDee]

I guess I'm old and grew up in a time when kids played unattended all of the time and yet somehow survived. How did we make it? No bike helmets, no life jackets, no adult to supervise our every second, walked to school, saw a doctor only when sick, (not very often). Mom did worry about Polio; "don't play in that creek!". How did I make it this far? My advice, relax and enjoy life. Not every event or risk is worth the 7th Cavalry.

I'm old, too, and I get what you're saying. But as the poster above me says, we didn't all make it. I also had a serious concussion (skating) that a helmet would've prevented. Two friends instantly come to mind who were killed in unrelated accidents - they'd have survived if they'd been wearing helmets. There's more.

Things change. When my first granddaughter was born, it was like I'd never been through raising my own kids. Baby on Back?!? What??? That's crazy! (Ok, confession. I still wonder about that one a little.) But everything was different from when I raised mine. We adopt safer practices as they become known and available to us.

Anyway. I do agree that not every event or risk is worth calling in the cavalry. Probably that's the most difficult thing as a parent, since the bar changes with each successive generation and it's different in different parts of the world - I'm referencing the Kinder Surprise eggs here.

 

[GrannyDee]

I think I have become more of a helicopter grandmother than I was a helicopter mom.
I find myself more nervous with my grandkids than I ever was with my kids, I guess maybe age or is it all the horrible stories we hear on the news.
Sometimes my husband and my daughter both tell me to calm down and relax when the kids are in the water and I am with them and they both swim.

LOL. YES, this.

We allowed our own children quite a bit of freedom. Times were different, true, but still. Our granddaughters? I'm going to have to talk my husband out of tailing the school bus for the month of September.

 

[kamik86]

To be honest even at only 29 I had alot more freedom then most kids do now. However, my city was pretty small, only about twice the population of a cruis ship in the entire city. I was not allowed to swim without adults andmy parents I swear knew 90% of the adults that livedin that town. It was really probably closer to 50% but it seemed much higher to me. People recognized me as my parents youngest daugther (almost never rememberedmy name but they knew whose kid I was for sure).

I also knew exactly how to get everywhere in my home town.

Some of thekids didn't know where they were or what room they were in. I not only knew my address and phone number I knew where my parents worked and could easily get to all those places. I wasn't getting lost in town.


On a cruise you don't know many if any of the other passengers, your kid doesn'tknow where they are as well, may not remember yourroom number, and if like me your from a small town there are many more people in a much smaller space.

 

[Uncleromulus]

Just to add that we've sailed Fantasy 3x now and we've seen unsupervised kids all over the ship.

It's really quite common and I always wonder what the parents are thinking---

 

[Donna M]

Back to life jackets, the ones the ship and resorts provide are not designed to flip a child over and keep her head out of the water. Years ago I had to grab a 3 year old out of the water who was face down, and stuck that way. I believe parents think their child is perfectly safe because he is in a "life jacket." If he/she is wearing the correct personal flotation device that would make a huge difference.

Most of the kids we see unsupervised and in dangerous situations end up home at the end of the day, so the parents/ kids say, "See, nothing happened," and keep doing the same thing. Luckily, the village is out there helping to raise the children. We need each other.

 

[jahber]

Back to life jackets, the ones the ship and resorts provide are not designed to flip a child over and keep her head out of the water. Years ago I had to grab a 3 year old out of the water who was face down, and stuck that way. I believe parents think their child is perfectly safe because he is in a "life jacket." If he/she is wearing the correct personal flotation device that would make a huge difference.

Most of the kids we see unsupervised and in dangerous situations end up home at the end of the day, so the parents/ kids say, "See, nothing happened," and keep doing the same thing. Luckily, the village is out there helping to raise the children. We need each other.

Agreed. Those life jackets really are just little bobbers to keep the kids from having to work too hard while they are watching movies in the pool. At least, that's what my son used them for. He was a good swimmer, but bobbing in the pool for an hour, he appreciate a life jacket. I would never recommend them for a kid who can't actually swim at all. And certainly not as a substitute for supervision.