"Regrets only" rsvp's, are people CRAZY???

[Disney1fan2002]

Or it may be just me. I find that most people don't bother to rsvp, and I then assume they WON'T be there. I am usually right. I don't think I have ever had anyone not call, and then show up. (I don't do the regrets only)

If you have a regrets only, and most people don't bother either way, wouldn't you end up with too much food? Or if you have to pay for a function pp, you will have paid for too many?

My DS' birthday party is tomorrow, I sent out 13 invitations, and have only heard from 5 people! The 5 I have heard from will be there, so I need to assume the rest won't be. I could never do "regrets only", because all the people who have not called would have to be counted, and they just won't be there.

 

[EthansMom]

I would only do "regrets only" on an open house-type party. For the kids' birthday parties, I wait until about 5 days before the party and then call everyone who hasn't responded. A surprising number of people completely forget about the invitation.

 

[TiggerStac]

I have the rsvp by for DS's christening tomorrow. I have heard from.....
my parents, my brother (he happened to be at DH work and I had him ask him, yesterday)..but he doesn't know about his GF, friend and her DF, brother (godfather) & Fiance, sis inlaw (godmother), another family friend...that's it. We are having a catered gathering afterwards and this is just so typical!! I put 29 invites in the mail (29 families) and I have heard back on 6 of them. And I will put a bet on it that out of the 23 invites I haven't heard back from, 15+ are planning on being there!!

My family just assumes that I know they will be there...how do I know if they have plans or not. I usually end up having to call most of my family, if I just go by what I have, there is no way we'd have enough food...as so many people don't rsvp, but plan on coming!!

Ok, enough venting.

 

[BuckyFan04]

Or it may be just me. I find that most people don't bother to rsvp, and I then assume they WON'T be there. I am usually right. I don't think I have ever had anyone not call, and then show up. (I don't do the regrets only)

If you have a regrets only, and most people don't bother either way, wouldn't you end up with too much food? Or if you have to pay for a function pp, you will have paid for too many?

My DS' birthday party is tomorrow, I sent out 13 invitations, and have only heard from 5 people! The 5 I have heard from will be there, so I need to assume the rest won't be. I could never do "regrets only", because all the people who have not called would have to be counted, and they just won't be there.

I couldn't do "regrets only," especially if it is for a large party. Food and other things needed for parties are expensive, and I'd like to know exactly how many people I'm expecting so I don't waste money or not have enough food. It is irritating to me when people don't RSVP. . .it seems inconsiderate. I would usually assume that they won't be there, but I'm one who likes to know for sure.

When I had my mom's 50th birthday party, I invited about 80 people. We had to order the main part of our food (brats, hamburgers, buns, potato salad, beans) from a brat place, and we needed an accurate count of people who would be attending. Seriously, it was like pulling teeth trying to get an answer from people on whether or not they were coming, even though they knew that we needed to order the food. We had to call people after the RSVP date had passed and ask them whether or not they were coming, and some of them still would not give us a straight answer. It was very frustrating. In the end though, we ended up having more than enough food, and it turned out to be a great time.

 

[JunieJay]

For the life of me I will never understand how people think its acceptable to not RSVP. Its not. Under any circumstances. Period, end of story.

I RSVP as soon as I get the invitation. If I put it away for later I might forget, and I sure would not want to inconvenience someone kind enough to invite me to their celebration.

Few things infuriate me more than this. It only happened one time to us when we had a party for my older son, and when I called the people to ask them if they were coming ALL of them said yes, so nonchantly as if the thought, "well you invited me, of course I'm coming!" I was tempted to ask them if they knew what RSVP meant? Instead, our parties from that point on have been family related. My family may be many things, but rude is not one of them. I know I can count on everyone in my family to RSVP.

 

[BuckyFan04]

I know I can count on everyone in my family to RSVP.

It was the people on my mom's side of the family (her own siblings!) that we had the hardest time getting an answer out of. You would think that that wouldn't happen. Her friends all RSVP'd right away, which was nice.

 

[CJK]

I always do "regrets only" in my invitations. It seems to work fine. I know that when I got married, I was fortunate enough to have 4 showers. At 3 of the showers, the different hosts only sent out "regrets only" invitations. Only a couple people said they definitely weren't coming. The host assumed that some people would still not show up though, but they did! The homes were quite full.

I guess the reason I prefer this format for invitations, is so I'm not bombarded with phone calls or emails. That reminds me, do you now also include your email address for RSVP'ing? I always do now in addition to my phone number.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

One of my friends did a "regrets only" for her son's b-day party one year by mistake. She figured it out when another friend and I had not RSVPed. She and I are known for RSVPing right away, and when neither of us did, the mom asked if we were going to be there. Apparently, we both said yes, then when asked why we didn't RSVP, we both answered, But you said "Regrets Only."

I have found one way to get folks to RSVP. I put in the inviations that the party is at "DD's house, call for directions" rather than the actual address. That only works if the majority of party goers do not know where you live, but it is effective!

 

[UrsulasShadow]

I'm notoriously bad at RSVPs. I'm also notorious at not going to parties (hate them). So "regrets only" means usually that I don't call, and that means my attendance is implied, and I'm sure the host/ess gets really put out when I don't show.

With terrible people like me (my family is full of them) it makes sense to have a full RSVP. That way, when we don't call, you can assume we're not coming, and you'd be right.

Rude, ain't we?

 

[alliecats]

No, people are not CRAZY.

They are LAZY.

 

[luv2nascar]

I am horrible at RSVPing. It is fine if I get it know I can go and want to go. I will call right away. But if I set it down and have to wait to see scheduling forget. I would prefer to have it implied I am not coming if I don't call. That is for us lazy people.

 

[OceanAnnie]

When I had my mom's 50th birthday party, I invited about 80 people. We had to order the main part of our food (brats, hamburgers, buns, potato salad, beans) from a brat place, and we needed an accurate count of people who would be attending. Seriously, it was like pulling teeth trying to get an answer from people on whether or not they were coming, even though they knew that we needed to order the food. We had to call people after the RSVP date had passed and ask them whether or not they were coming, and some of them still would not give us a straight answer. It was very frustrating. In the end though, we ended up having more than enough food, and it turned out to be a great time.

I had a similar type event. We had about 20 people not show that said they would. We still had about 100 people there, but I was livid. It was a catered event and it was a lot of wasted money. I had called prior and was told yes by those that didn't respond. We had food coming out of our ears! I got over it. We had a good time. I just focused on the occasion & people we celebrated. But still, rude doesn't even begin to explain it.

I've had children's parties where a parent has called and said, "My child will probably come, is that ok?". Good grief.

 

[disykat]

I've never understood "regrets only" because I want to know who is coming and with regrets only you still don't know about those who ignore the RSVP.

For children's parties I try to leave info off the invitation and put something like "please call if you are coming to get directions" etc. That way no one can surprise me.

Too many people don't RSVP. I want to know who for sure is coming. I've used RSVP and RSVP "if coming", but I would never do "regrets only".