Regional Differences

[aprilgail2]

another thing I noticed when I went down south is the ma'am thing--- call someone ma'am or say "yes sir" here and you are thought of as a smart alec little twit but down there they all say it!

 

[tcox82]

Working in Michigan one summer, I noticed the different standards for courtesy when driving... People were apt to pull out from parking lots much closer in front of others on the road than I am used to, and would always drive on the shoulder to go around someone waiting to turn left when there was no turn lane. Both of those are considered pretty rude down here. After it happened a few times, though, I figured out that it was just the norm in northern Michigan and those people weren't being rude.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I love Corky's. Family is from Memphis. But my favorite BBQ is Interstate. Love catfish too.

The in-laws lived in the Memphis burbs for several years and we always went to Corky's or The Commissary in Germantown. I really want to try Interstate, but we haven't been back since the in-laws moved to GA. I keep trying to talk dh into a "southern food road trip", but it just hasn't worked out.

 

[luvsJack]

Thats so funny- I have never heard that until the Dis---you say that here and they will think you want a weird sex act.





Boiled peanuts are vile!



Grits are ok- they just remind me of plain cream of wheat--not much difference

if your grits taste like plain cream of wheat in taste someone is NOT doing it right. The texture is similar though.

 

[luvsJack]

Definitely lots of butter, some salt and pepper. DH likes to put his fried eggs on top of his grits and then mix it all together.

BEST way to eat grits!!

When my Dad was in the Air Force, he went to the mess hall one morning and was so excited to see GRITS!! He got in line and told the server he wanted his egg put right on top. He said the guy looked at him weird but put the fried egg on top. And Dad got plenty of butter and went and sat down. Added his salt and pepper, chopped his egg up really good in the grits and took his first big bite. It was cream of wheat.

The first thing he wanted when he came back south was grits and eggs for breakfast.

 

[KristaTX]

another thing I noticed when I went down south is the ma'am thing--- call someone ma'am or say "yes sir" here and you are thought of as a smart alec little twit but down there they all say it!

That is a big difference. Here it is polite to do that, and people teach their children to do so. It is seen as a sign of respect towards adults, or even towards customers. It doesn't bother me at all to be called ma'am if it is a situation like that.

But when this topic comes up on these threads, I always wonder what the northern approach is. If you tell your child or a teacher tells her student to do something, does the child just walk away and do it without speaking? Or is there something they say besides "Yes ma'am/sir"? Maybe they just say "Okay" and walk away?

While "ma'am" doesn't bother me, "Miss" does. Either by itself, or as "Miss Krista". It's popular here for children to call adults who are not necessarily in a role of authority over them "Miss" or "Mr." insert-first-name. I don't want to be called Miss by anyone except for a few certain adults who use it as a sign of endearment towards me. There's a DIS friend who calls me Miss Krista, and I love it as a sign of our friendship . Kids that I am not in an authority role over can just call me "Krista".

 

[mhsjax]

The in-laws lived in the Memphis burbs for several years and we always went to Corky's or The Commissary in Germantown. I really want to try Interstate, but we haven't been back since the in-laws moved to GA. I keep trying to talk dh into a "southern food road trip", but it just hasn't worked out.

My DB lived in Germantown, but I never made it to The Commissary. Since my brother moved down here, we haven't been back either. It is so hard trying to explain to people, that what they call BBQ down here is an insult to real BBQ. My sister in law loved Corky's ribs, but I never tried them, although I do like their other BBQ.

 

[shine87]

That is a big difference. Here it is polite to do that, and people teach their children to do so. It is seen as a sign of respect towards adults, or even towards customers. It doesn't bother me at all to be called ma'am if it is a situation like that.

But when this topic comes up on these threads, I always wonder what the northern approach is. If you tell your child or a teacher tells her student to do something, does the child just walk away and do it without speaking? Or is there something they say besides "Yes ma'am/sir"? Maybe they just say "Okay" and walk away?

Here the kid says ok and go about their merry way to do whatever it was they were asked. If I was called "ma'am" they would get accoused of sassing me big time. It just sounds so patronizing to me.

 

[aprilgail2]

Here the kid says ok and go about their merry way to do whatever it was they were asked. If I was called "ma'am" they would get accoused of sassing me big time. It just sounds so patronizing to me.

LOL--yes exactly!

 

[JVL1018]

That is a big difference. Here it is polite to do that, and people teach their children to do so. It is seen as a sign of respect towards adults, or even towards customers. It doesn't bother me at all to be called ma'am if it is a situation like that.

But when this topic comes up on these threads, I always wonder what the northern approach is. If you tell your child or a teacher tells her student to do something, does the child just walk away and do it without speaking? Or is there something they say besides "Yes ma'am/sir"? Maybe they just say "Okay" and walk away?

\".

Ma'am is used in customer situations here. I hear it from time to time. It is also used to get someone's attention. I worked at a bank and I wouldn't have said Thank you ma'am, after I finished with a customer(I would just say thank you-have a good day!), but if someone was waiting and I had to call them over, I would say Excuse me..Ma'am? I'll help you now..

Kids never ever say Sir or Ma'am that I've ever heard, unless they are being silly.
Like if I am laying down the law sometimes my son will say YES MA'AM(sometimes SIR)! and salute. LOL

I just told him to go get dressed and he said All right and went to his room to get changed.
All right or okay is what they will say when someone asks them to do something.

 

[golfgal]

if your grits taste like plain cream of wheat in taste someone is NOT doing it right. The texture is similar though.

I think what most people are saying when they say they are "like" cream of wheat is that they LOOK like cream of wheat, not that they taste the same.

 

[KristaTX]

It doesn't sound patronizing at all to me. Not doing so would sound disrespectful in some instances to me. And I don't even have kids to expect it from.

It's just a difference in what we are all used to and how our minds interpret things people say and the way they say them. It's like how body language or eye contact can be interpreted two completely different ways depending on the culture.

 

[shine87]

It's so true what you say about how our minds interpret things. I think In mass we're all wired to expect everyone to be condisending and rude. I remember vacationing in west virginia once as a kid and it was so bizaare to me how people were actually really polite.

 

[spacemountainmom]

My DB lived in Germantown, but I never made it to The Commissary. Since my brother moved down here, we haven't been back either. It is so hard trying to explain to people, that what they call BBQ down here is an insult to real BBQ. My sister in law loved Corky's ribs, but I never tried them, although I do like their other BBQ.

My sil and bil lived in Collierville and mil and fil were in Shelby County, but outside the city limits. They were near the Nonconnah (sp?) Pkwy and Hacks Cross Road. Then sil and bil moved to the Atlanta area and about a year later mil and fil followed. Now, sil and bil and dniece live on Long Island and dnephew lives in their GA house. My mil and fil live nearby.

The first time we visited sil and bil, they took us to the original Corky's on Poplar. We had to wait an hour for a table and it absolutely was worth it! DH and I would eat there every day......well ok, I would need to have some catfish as well. According to dh Corky's has the better ribs and he gives the nod to The Commissary for pulled pork.

We really should quit discussing this because my mouth is watering thinking about all my southern food favorites.

 

[SaraJayne]

Here the kid says ok and go about their merry way to do whatever it was they were asked. If I was called "ma'am" they would get accoused of sassing me big time. It just sounds so patronizing to me.

Same here. It isn't a sign of respect, it's patronizing and disrespectful.

I don't want to be called ma'am, and I suggest you don't.

 

[momto2girls]

It doesn't sound patronizing at all to me. Not doing so would sound disrespectful in some instances to me. And I don't even have kids to expect it from.

It's just a difference in what we are all used to and how our minds interpret things people say and the way they say them. It's like how body language or eye contact can be interpreted two completely different ways depending on the culture.

I agree. I don't think it is patronizing at all. It is such a wonderful sign of respect. I wish it was common where I live now. I miss the South.

 

[golfgal]

I agree. I don't think it is patronizing at all. It is such a wonderful sign of respect. I wish it was common where I live now. I miss the South.

It's all in how it is said...often at a store, for example, someone may come up to you and say "ma'am, can I help you find something"--that is fine, I'm ok with that. But, you get a snarky teenager and you hear them say "well, yes ma'am" full of attitude--not ok. I hear plenty of people using sir and ma'am here but more often with people they don't know vs using it all the time and NEVER with parents because that is usually when it is snarky

 

[LilyWDW]

Same here. It isn't a sign of respect, it's patronizing and disrespectful.

I don't want to be called ma'am, and I suggest you don't.

As long as you realize that, when you travel, things are different. So, if you were to come down to places in the south, please don't get upset if someone does use the term. It's just how it is.

 

[SaraJayne]

As long as you realize that, when you travel, things are different. So, if you were to come down to places in the south, please don't get upset if someone does use the term. It's just how it is.

Yes, I realize that. Still didn't like it, though.

 

[disykat]

Same here. It isn't a sign of respect, it's patronizing and disrespectful.

I don't want to be called ma'am, and I suggest you don't.

I get how ma'am CAN sound sassy in certain instances. Here it isn't common to use with people you know well unless you are sort of accusing them of being too dictatorial.

However, using it properly is not the slightest bit sassy. I use ma'am and sir to address adults I don't know and expect my kids to do the same.

Anything can sound sassy depending on the way you use it. The fact that people sometimes use it in a sassy way does not change the fact that it's normally a polite term.