Regional Differences

[shine87]

I guess the military has it wrong also. Try not saying yes ma'am or sir to them and see what happens. Sorry but is just strange to think that this is sassing.

I think we can all agree the military is stricter than "regular" life. I never said anyone has it wrong, this thread is about regional differences and I expressed my opinion. If you read back you will see that I said if I lived in the south I would expect my daughter to refer to people as sir/ma'am because I expect her to be polite anywhere. It's just not something we do here and I, personally, wouldn't want to be referred to as ma'am

 

[SaraJayne]

"Here" must be in her world as the many, many people I know in WI don't feel that way.

SaraJayne would probably fall over in a dead faint (or slap someone silly) when she got called "baby". Being called "baby" is a very common endearment (and sweet) used primarily by black women of a certain age, and spoken to total strangers. It would be horribly racist to chastise one of these women. But SJ probably lives in a world where African Americans are few and far between.

And yup, Wisconsin is "my" world, since I live it every single day.

 

[mhsjax]

"Here" must be in her world as the many, many people I know in WI don't feel that way.

SaraJayne would probably fall over in a dead faint (or slap someone silly) when she got called "baby". Being called "baby" is a very common endearment (and sweet) used primarily by black women of a certain age, and spoken to total strangers. It would be horribly racist to chastise one of these women. But SJ probably lives in a world where African Americans are few and far between.

I for one love it when some of the older black/african american women call me baby or sugar. I think it is so sweet.

 

[dimimi]

I guess the military has it wrong also. Try not saying yes ma'am or sir to them and see what happens. Sorry but is just strange to think that this is sassing.

It's sassing where I come from too! I used to teach in Ohio, and then moved to Jacksonville Florida. All of the kids said, "Yes, Ma'm"...it took me a while to believe they weren't being fresh! Truly, in 10 years of teaching in Ohio, never did they say, "Yes, Ma'm." I grew up in Ohio and never said that to my parents either.

 

[mhsjax]

I think we can all agree the military is stricter than "regular" life. I never said anyone has it wrong, this thread is about regional differences and I expressed my opinion. If you read back you will see that I said if I lived in the south I would expect my daughter to refer to people as sir/ma'am because I expect her to be polite anywhere. It's just not something we do here and I, personally, wouldn't want to be referred to as ma'am

Got it. I for one am at the stage of my life where I hate being called ma'am because it reminds me of my age, however, I don't say anything because down here, if a child says ma'am or sir, that means the parents have done their job.

I still don't see how the term could be disrespectful, unless the words were snapped out by a teenager.

 

[luvsJack]

Here, it doesn't matter the tone a child uses. It's considered sassy and disrespectful.

So when military personnel use m'am and sir its disrespectful?

I really don't see why or how a region would just decide the two words are disrespectful, that doesn't make any sense. Especially it not mattering the tone that is used.

I mean, are there not certain ways that your children are expected to speak to adults?

 

[shine87]

Got it. I for one am at the stage of my life where I hate being called ma'am because it reminds me of my age, however, I don't say anything because down here, if a child says ma'am or sir, that means the parents have done their job.

I still don't see how the term could be disrespectful, unless the words were snapped out by a teenager.

Maybe cuz in mass most people are just rude so I expect it

 

[golfgal]

I guess the military has it wrong also. Try not saying yes ma'am or sir to them and see what happens. Sorry but is just strange to think that this is sassing.

Again, it is all in how it is said--yes, in the military it is a sign of respect but up here where it is NOT used generally is is said in a snotty tone and a 'yes ma'am", which often translates into up your's or similar intent. Think snotty teenager being told to clean their room when they don't want to and total attitude of "yes ma'am'--kind of hard to demonstrate online

 

[SaraJayne]

So when military personnel use m'am and sir its disrespectful?

I really don't see why or how a region would just decide the two words are disrespectful, that doesn't make any sense. Especially it not mattering the tone that is used.

I mean, are there not certain ways that your children are expected to speak to adults?

I said children. You can't compare the military saying it...there's no comparison between the two.

 

[mhsjax]

Again, it is all in how it is said--yes, in the military it is a sign of respect but up here where it is NOT used generally is is said in a snotty tone and a 'yes ma'am", which often translates into up your's or similar intent. Think snotty teenager being told to clean their room when they don't want to and total attitude of "yes ma'am'--kind of hard to demonstrate online

I guess the difference down here, is that when parents get the snotty version of yes ma'am, all hell would break loose. Maybe you all up there should try whopping some butt if a kid gets that attitude. We know the difference, very easy to tell. to most in the south, anything less than ma'am or sir is disrespectful. I have some friends from NJ and also NY. Their kids say it, they may not have said it while living up there, but their parents insist on it now, and they like it.

 

[luvsJack]

I said children. You can't compare the military saying it...there's no comparison between the two.

But how do you deem a word to be disrespectful no matter what the tone? That doesn't make any sense.

Sure it can be used in a disrespectful tone. So can any other word. In that instance, its not the word that is disrepectful its the tone.

When our kids say "yes, ma'm" they normally say it in a most respectful way, just like you would hear some in the military say it so yes there is a comparision.

 

[Swan4Me]

Every day I say Ma'am to every customer I deal with-its a Southern thing

 

[luvsJack]

I guess the difference down here, is that when parents get the snotty version of yes ma'am, all hell would break loose. We know the difference, very easy to tell.

Exactly. Its not the words, its the tone.

 

[SaraJayne]

Every day I say Ma'am to every customer I deal with-its a Southern thing

Exactly. Which is what this entire thread is about. It isn't a northern thing and never will be.

 

[doxdogy]

My mother's favorite saying to us growing up was for use to say "yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you ma'am, please. In addition we didn't dare say huh to an adult when we didn't hear them. It was to be pardon me or excuse me.

What it all boils down is each regions definition of treating elders with respect. Down here it is the use of ma'am and sir. Other parts of the country it isn't expected or taught. However just because we do it and you don't; just don't assume that WE are being snotty and disrespectful and I won't assume your kid is being snotty or disrespectful if you are down here visiting and they answer an adult with yeah.

 

[mhsjax]

Maybe cuz in mass most people are just rude so I expect it

YOu said it not me. lol

 

[mhsjax]

My mother's favorite saying to us growing up was for use to say "yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you ma'am, please. In addition we didn't dare say huh to an adult when we didn't hear them. It was to be pardon me or excuse me.

What it all boils down is each regions definition of treating elders with respect. Down here it is the use of ma'am and sir. Other parts of the country it isn't expected or taught. However just because we do it and you don't; just don't assume that WE are being snotty and disrespectful and I won't assume your kid is being snotty or disrespectful if you are down here visiting and they answer an adult with yeah.

Exactly.

 

[golfgal]

I guess the difference down here, is that when parents get the snotty version of yes ma'am, all hell would break loose. Maybe you all up there should try whopping some butt if a kid gets that attitude. We know the difference, very easy to tell. to most in the south, anything less than ma'am or sir is disrespectful. I have some friends from NJ and also NY. Their kids say it, they may not have said it while living up there, but their parents insist on it now, and they like it.

Well, if my kids talked to me that way all heck would break loose too but since we did our job early on OUR kids know better than to talk to adults that way, however, that isn't the case for everyone...

 

[luvsJack]

Exactly. Which is what this entire thread is about. It isn't a northern thing and never will be.

I don't think anyone is saying it should be but just fail to see how the words, by themselves, can be seen as "sassy and disrespectful".

 

[shine87]

here we make a run to the packy were everywhere else its a liquor store, and some of you can even get it at the grocery store which blows my mind