Regional Differences

[Liberty Belle]

My oldest uses Ma'am and Sir all the time. We didn't really teach him to do that, necessarily, it's just the way he is. He's very polite. Here it's the polite thing to do.

I have heard it said in a sarcastic way, but that's completely different. Here it's used in place of someone's name. Instead of "Yes, Mr. Rogers," they'd say "Yes, sir." Just saying "Ok" or walking away without saying anything would be considered on the rude side.

 

[SaraJayne]

I get how ma'am CAN sound sassy in certain instances. Here it isn't common to use with people you know well unless you are sort of accusing them of being too dictatorial.

However, using it properly is not the slightest bit sassy. I use ma'am and sir to address adults I don't know and expect my kids to do the same.

Anything can sound sassy depending on the way you use it. The fact that people sometimes use it in a sassy way does not change the fact that it's normally a polite term.

Here, it doesn't matter the tone a child uses. It's considered sassy and disrespectful.

 

[NotUrsula]

Here the kid says ok and go about their merry way to do whatever it was they were asked. If I was called "ma'am" they would get accoused of sassing me big time. It just sounds so patronizing to me.

This reminds me of the trouble that I used to get into all the time as a child for failing to use eating utensils properly. My immigrant parents insisted on the Continental style (fork in the left hand, tines down, knife in the right), while the nuns at school insisted on American style (switching the fork to the right hand to eat.) Up until the nuns stopped grading our table manners in third grade I was forever getting into trouble, because I'd slip up and use the wrong technique in the wrong place. The nuns gave it up in third grade but my mother never did, so Continental it is.

In much of the South today (and pretty much everywhere in the South 40 years ago), a child who failed to say "Ma'am" or "Sir" when being given a task by a teacher would instantly hear, "Yes -- what?" I know that when I was a kid, "all right" would have been more than your life was worth. Even today, if our CEO tells me he needs something ASAP, my automatic response is, "yes, sir." Under normal circumstances I call him by his first name, but if he gives me a direct order, the "sir" will come right out of my mouth without any thought at all.

I've lived in the midwest now for quite a while. It has never once occurred to me that anyone might be offended by being addressed that way in a work or school context.

 

[stm61]

I teach in the south and the sir/ma'am thing is becoming more of a problem. We're getting a lot of northern transplants who object to the use of sir/ma'am, even after the explanation that it's simply a sign of respect. Actually it isn't my district that's having the issues, it's the more well off one next to us. They've had mothers in the office screaming that their children would NEVER under ANY circumstances use those words. Most of the kids could care less how they're expected to answer, except for a few belonging to the mothers making scenes in the office. A few of those are taking advantage of the situation to be as rude and obnoxious as possible, knowing that mommy will defend them, especially since the story mommy gets from junior never quite matches that of the teacher. I had to laugh last spring, two of "my child will never" parents now have children who use those words constantly. One child joined the military, over mommy's loud protests, and the other now resides in the county jail!

 

[disykat]

Here, it doesn't matter the tone a child uses. It's considered sassy and disrespectful.

I guess I'm finding this hard to believe because it means your area actually changes the dictionary definition!

Anyone else here from NW Wisconsin?

 

[shine87]

I teach in the south and the sir/ma'am thing is becoming more of a problem. We're getting a lot of northern transplants who object to the use of sir/ma'am, even after the explanation that it's simply a sign of respect. Actually it isn't my district that's having the issues, it's the more well off one next to us. They've had mothers in the office screaming that their children would NEVER under ANY circumstances use those words. Most of the kids could care less how they're expected to answer, except for a few belonging to the mothers making scenes in the office. A few of those are taking advantage of the situation to be as rude and obnoxious as possible, knowing that mommy will defend them, especially since the story mommy gets from junior never quite matches that of the teacher. I had to laugh last spring, two of "my child will never" parents now have children who use those words constantly. One child joined the military, over mommy's loud protests, and the other now resides in the county jail!

People like this annoy me to no end. No I would not want to be called ma'am but if I moved down south I would expect my daughter to fall into the norms. I expect my daughter to be polite here, there, and anywhere.

I guess I'm finding this hard to believe because it means your area actually changes the dictionary definition!

Anyone else here from NW Wisconsin?

It's not really changing the definition. If you look it up it will say it means madam and if you look up madam one of the definitions is "3. the woman in charge of a house of prostitution." Not very polite to me. So we're not really changing the definition. You use your definition we use ours. No I'm not from NW Wisconsin but I've never heard a kid use it when they weren't trying to be snots either.

 

[Minnesota!]

To each their own, but a little heal and nice jeans look way better than jeans and tennis shoes IMHO. More people wear heels with jeans than tennis shoes, I say they can't all be wrong. And are in the fashion mags. In fact I can't think of anyone that I know of that wears tennis shoes with jeans. Definite fashion no no, old and matronly. But wear what you want.

I agree. And that's the perfect word - jeans and tennis shoes makes me think of my mom . I don't mind certain style jeans with tennis...but mom jeans with them is just hideous, IMO!

Ok you live further south on the gulf coast than I do. I live on Northwest portion of the Gulf Coast. We are in a little place called South Walton. Little more than 50 miles to the Alabama line. And sorry sweetie if last night was any indication, I saw 3/4 of both my town and the town in between me and the Alabama line at the football game. And as for soccer, none of the schools in my county even had a soccer team until just a few years ago. My portion of Florida football is king and tea is sweet, unless you are diabetic or something. And I have lived here my whole life. Oh! and the only girl I know that calls "coke" SODA, is a chick at my office originally from North Dakota. And yep we go scalloping too at Port St Joe.

And I eat grits regularly. Nothing like a good breakfast of tomato gravy, biscuits, bacon and grits. YUM! Love them. If my family eats fish (them not me) we have cheese grits as a side dish and french fries and hush puppies. So good, except the fish.

And I wear heels with jeans if I wear jeans. I rarely wear them. As a PP said jeans are hot. I stick to sun dresses. Oh and I am not much of tennis shoes person either. Yes I will wear them but I would much rather have a pair of heels or flip flops.

kelli

WAHHHH? Do tell what tomato gravy is? That sounds right up my alley!

Working in Michigan one summer, I noticed the different standards for courtesy when driving... People were apt to pull out from parking lots much closer in front of others on the road than I am used to, and would always drive on the shoulder to go around someone waiting to turn left when there was no turn lane. Both of those are considered pretty rude down here. After it happened a few times, though, I figured out that it was just the norm in northern Michigan and those people weren't being rude.

Sounds about right for MN, too.

Here the kid says ok and go about their merry way to do whatever it was they were asked. If I was called "ma'am" they would get accoused of sassing me big time. It just sounds so patronizing to me.

Agreed. I HATE ma'am and sir. It sounds very patronizing. Have never used it for people "of authority". Kids respond with "ok" or the like. If I ever addressed a superior with ma'am or sir...they would think of me as mocking their position.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Wow. The ma'am and sir thing just baffles me (and I grew up in Michigan). My husband and I even say it to eachother at times and we're not being snotty, just polite.

 

[Strawberry's mom&dad]

:

I have never been guilty of that one...but then again I'm not a Greener. I graduated from UW (which, by the way, around here is pronounced U-Dub). My mother is a Greener...but she just wears tennis shoes (not sneakers) with her jeans, and no socks with her sandals.

BTW tennis shoes with jeans is extremely common here. People do wear heels with "dressy" jeans too, though.
:

I'm a UPS Logger so I hold greenergrads in some disdain also. Any college that has a geoduck for a mascot is a little off.

Provided as a public service so you don't have to waste posts asking what it is.

 

[SaraJayne]

I guess I'm finding this hard to believe because it means your area actually changes the dictionary definition!

Anyone else here from NW Wisconsin?

I'm not from NW Wisconsin.

 

[mum4jenn]

Weddings where people bring actual presents for the bride and groom and where the reception consists of cake and punch.

On the other side...I have been surprised that the weddings up north involve alcohol,hugely expensive receptions and that people dole out hundreds or dollars for gifts.

 

[okeydokey]

A popular one here (outside of Boston) is a MEAT SHOOT or a LOBSTER SHOOT. Sometimes around Thanksgiving, it is a TURKEY SHOOT.

I haven't been to one yet. We keep getting invited, but can never make it. Apparently, you buy raffle tickets and win different cuts of meat (or lobster). No shooting involved.

I'm sure I never saw this living in NJ.

Turkey shoots in the South involve actual shooting, rifles or bows.

 

[KristaTX]

It's not really changing the definition. If you look it up it will say it means madam and if you look up madam one of the definitions is "3. the woman in charge of a house of prostitution." Not very polite to me. So we're not really changing the definition. You use your definition we use ours. No I'm not from NW Wisconsin but I've never heard a kid use it when they weren't trying to be snots either.

But what were definitions #1 and #2?

 

[arminnie]

As long as you realize that, when you travel, things are different. So, if you were to come down to places in the south, please don't get upset if someone does use the term. It's just how it is.

Yes, I realize that. Still didn't like it, though.

Here, it doesn't matter the tone a child uses. It's considered sassy and disrespectful.

"Here" must be in her world as the many, many people I know in WI don't feel that way.

SaraJayne would probably fall over in a dead faint (or slap someone silly) when she got called "baby". Being called "baby" is a very common endearment (and sweet) used primarily by black women of a certain age, and spoken to total strangers. It would be horribly racist to chastise one of these women. But SJ probably lives in a world where African Americans are few and far between.

 

[Swan4Me]

Or "honey"

Or "Bee" (shortened version of baby)

 

[shine87]

But what were definitions #1 and #2?

Number 1 did pertain to addressing people in power but my point was that we aren't changing the definition just see it different

 

[Magic Mom]

"Here" must be in her world as the many, many people I know in WI don't feel that way.

SaraJayne would probably fall over in a dead faint (or slap someone silly) when she got called "baby". Being called "baby" is a very common endearment (and sweet) used primarily by black women of a certain age, and spoken to total strangers. It would be horribly racist to chastise one of these women. But SJ probably lives in a world where African Americans are few and far between.

What??? I honestly don't get SarahJayne's aversion to the word Ma'am, but this post just made me go

 

[shine87]

WWooWW someone dropped the race card

 

[mhsjax]

Here the kid says ok and go about their merry way to do whatever it was they were asked. If I was called "ma'am" they would get accoused of sassing me big time. It just sounds so patronizing to me.

I guess the military has it wrong also. Try not saying yes ma'am or sir to them and see what happens. Sorry but is just strange to think that this is sassing.

 

[mhsjax]

My sil and bil lived in Collierville and mil and fil were in Shelby County, but outside the city limits. They were near the Nonconnah (sp?) Pkwy and Hacks Cross Road. Then sil and bil moved to the Atlanta area and about a year later mil and fil followed. Now, sil and bil and dniece live on Long Island and dnephew lives in their GA house. My mil and fil live nearby.

The first time we visited sil and bil, they took us to the original Corky's on Poplar. We had to wait an hour for a table and it absolutely was worth it! DH and I would eat there every day......well ok, I would need to have some catfish as well. According to dh Corky's has the better ribs and he gives the nod to The Commissary for pulled pork.

We really should quit discussing this because my mouth is watering thinking about all my southern food favorites.

OMG< my Aunt and Uncle lived on Poplar for years before the passed away, and actually they moved to Collierville before that, man what a small world