Regarding posts on the Community Board

[Wagamama]

Originally posted by charlie,nj
Yo Wagamama…you makin fun a me? You tinkin Zurg and me are jokin around or sumtin? I tell youz whats so funny youz can’t ever spell my name right. Now dats funny.

Chahly,
Yo, I aint makin fun of you. maybe your referring to my bahstan accent? you best not be, cause i'll kick your joisy ***! i've got my irish and italian crew here behind me and we aint afraid of going down to your "exit". your body'll be found in hahvahd yard or slumaville...peace out.

 

[Wagamama]

Originally posted by Zurg
My mos eststeamed fiend and coilleague from de Joisy family aint jest a fine judge o women 'n wine 'es a regaler Eyenstein, whom, as I recoil was also a joisy guy. Must be some'tin we burred dere dat leaked inta da watter, huh?

yeah, toxic waste!!

 

[charlie,nj]

Ahhhh Zzurg…I don’t tink anybody ever called me dare friend before. On the outside dat is..I had plenty of pals in da joint. You know how dat is.Tanks.

… Eyentein shine-tein I would gladly trade youz 15 and one half Eyentien’s for your one and only Rocky. Ain’t youz guys in Philly lucky ta have a guy..I mean hero.. like Rocky ta look up two. Us in Jersey get stuck wit da Marta Stewarts of da wooorld. Big Whoop!

Did youz get a load a dat Waga-yo-moma broad? Whats up wit dat chick? I was only trying to be friends with her..and she sticks a stiletto in my back. Dames I don’t trust any of dem…nofin but trouble..dat’s what my muda always said. She is a saint cha know.

Hey Waga-yo-moma….I ain’t a scare da you or your crew. What chew gonna do get Marky Mark and da Back Street Boys after me? OOOOOhhhh you really got me shaking in my $300 cockroach killer’s… baby. I thought Pete and his crew put chew on ice for a while..because of dat picture. That tongue picture was very disrespectful…especially to da guys wit short tongues. You gots some nerve girl.

 

[Wagamama]

I's stuck a stilleto in youz back? and hows did i do dat? all i sayz was for youz to watch your back. cause i got my irish and italian crew behind me, just waiting for youz to make any kind of move. youz right though, i am a saint. i'm the patron saint of noodles.

and yo, are you dissin my boy mark? and its new kids on the block, einstein.

pete and his boys don't have the uh...cockles to put me on ice. theys know that me and my crew can't be messed with. one wrong move and POW! your in the chahles rivah.

so you must be one of them short tongued people, huh? thats wicked bad man. howz do you survive?

and don't you go thinkin that zurgs your friend...he's got my back, donts you know...
peace out joisy fool.

 

[Zurg]

Yo I called chew a fiend but youz knows the say'en "any feind o youz is a fiend of mine' Youz aint blown no smoke 'bout dem fiends in the fed's pen. Dem dere some fine fiends.

Youz may be right bout Martha but den she may be one o' dee family after all. See'en de feds wanna send 'er t' da big house too.

No getting no wrong contusions bout nothin! I aint say'n nothin' like I wanna be maken no lampshade out o no warrant, even dough I do gotta my share o' dem tings.

I'm just saying for a fancy broad she be trying to make a buck or two - nothin' wrong bout that, it warns de cockles (as youz sayed) o' my made heart ta see dat she aint so hign'n mighty ta try to do some 'business.' Da way we did it in de old country ya knows?

Dat Rocky he's an ok guy, got his start worken a little for de family helpen to keep payments regular an all. good kid but den he gets all hollywood an he don't come round no more, ike he's t'good ta know, like he aint been on no street corner wid us reg'a'ler guy. Dat aint right dat aint right at all that aint.

 

[Wagamama]

dude, your accent is wicked hahd to folla!

 

[Zurg]

Originally posted by Wagamama
dude, your accent is wicked hahd to folla!

Dude aint that the point?

 

[charlie,nj]

Yo Zurg please don’t go and get me started on dat Marta *****. I’s hopin day throw da book at her. I have two beefs wit her.

1- what is dis white collar crime crap..yes like youz were sayin youz got ta make a buck. But why not the way we’s use ta do it. What is so bad about hijackin a few fish trucks or sumtin. Last time I looked peoples are still eatin fish..ain’t day. Dis white collar junk why do day call it dat? I have not wore a collared shirt all my life..I don’t tink any good hood has.

2- dat broad Marta stuck me wit a bum package a seeds. I was in the big K doing sum shopin. I was just about to try on some new pants…them ones with the elastic waste band and dat gusset. I here’s an important announcement bout a blue light special on Marta Stewart seeds..sumtin like two packs fa a buck. I goes over dare ..I had ta strong arm a few old broads to get to da seeds. (F them) I gets a pack a one a dem pole string beans. Just in case youz didn’t know the pole doesn’t mean dat day are from Poland..it means dat day grow on a pole. (like dat jack in the bean sock thing) You got dat? Now I get to the dopey cashier and she tells me dat I need ta purchase two packs ta get da special one buck price. I tells her “what am I gonna do wit two packs a beans”. She gives me da evil eye and says “ You can shove dem up your *** for all I care”. Well youz knows what I paid full price for dat one pack a beans…just because I liked dat dames attitude. Oh so’s let me get back ta why I want ta put Marta on ice fa a while..I come back ta my home sweet home and show my wife (now she ain’t no saint like my mom) the seeds. She calls my two boys over and we all look at da seed pack. (you knows what.. it is just a shame dat my two boys don’t talk like me…day actually pronounce squirrel as a one sell-able word..not two like me) We plant the freaking beans a month ago and one month later still no beans. My wife even says a pray over da ground each night, and still no beans. So dat’s why I am hoping day lock dat Marta up fa good. She screwed me on da beans..day was all duds.

Hey you waggy girl…don’t chew tink I know dat Marky Mark was in da New Kids on da Block? But do youz really tink I would admit ta it on a public site. (especially being I wasn’t blessed with one a dem long tongues) People might gets the wrong idea if I go around showing da I know all about dem boy bands. If you get what I mean.

 

[Wagamama]

Zurg -yeah...but i have no idea what you just said!!

Joisy Man- So you admit to not being blessed with a long tongue? man, thats got to be tough. Yous bettah know who mahk is. mahky mahk and da Funky bunch...rememebah them? he can still make my ice cold haht melt...now he was a long tongue guy....you could tell by looking at him...

 

[Zurg]

Yo

De little hoods may be read'n diz! Diz DIS iz a fam'ly ting.

Youz all talkin' bout a long tongues and we all knows dat dat long tounge mean short somet'n'lls and vicy versa.

Yo charlie, Da Marta Dame did youz wong! Some'bdy otta whack her for doin' dat to a mad man like youz. Bad beans, dat aint right dat aint. Dat broad taken da cash at da big K sounds like she'd be good fer da job.

Shame bout youz boyz, (youz kids not dem back ally brats or watt ever day called) I felt bad just 'earin' chew have a hard time talkin' wid dem 'cause dem smarty schools teaches dem to disrespeckt dere own dad like dat. It aint right I tell ya it aint right.

Now dis Marky Amrk youz was talking with da bean town broad 'bout. Sound like a bum da me. I mean 'ho calls 'imself a mark. 'Ear in Filly we call a guy you gonna take dow de mark - Ya know? Like dat guy in de fish truck is d'mark fer da hijackin' - Ya know?

Den youz makin' it wroser by callen youz self "Marky" Mark. Sound like a real stooge. Dem Beantowner's dey got som' crazy names eh?

 

[Wagamama]

just whatcha sayin Zurgy? that tongue boy has a short thinga maginky? that chahley has a long one? thats baloney!!! ya should be ashamed Zurgy boy, ashamed!!!

 

[Zurg]

Yo 'mama we all knows da sayings "Cold 'eart, warm 'ands long toung ...."

anyways nuff 'bout dat


Charlie funny youz mention ‘ijacking.

I mean dat is a grand and nobil line o’ busyess for a good hood. I got me start as a wize guy doin' a hijacken.

Peoples just don’t have no respect da classic dese days. Dey go for da easy money, boy bands, stealing cable TV, phony fast passes, insider trading cancer drug stocks, selling fake beans….

I ‘member me first heist like it were yesterdey; it was a truck o’ corn head’n for ‘lando. A big fat truck. ‘ bet dat O'town was out o’ corn fer weeks!

dat kina ting could drive dem corn junkies to do some crazy bad stuff. Youz know da junkies, day will do anythin’, anywherez to get a fix. Dey will jest set down in a chalk circle and eat cold corn out o’ da can dey will, wiffout even any Nyquil ta wash it down neither.

So this joilly green giant o’ a truck come down da road. We roll out a big old white bus (I member da bus – ad red written scribbled all over it) so we rolls it inta da street t’ stop da trck right? and hit da driver up side da head with da sock filled with pressed pennies. Whack down da goes. I feeled a little bad when I see da driver in da stretchy green suit is a dame. Felt so bad I left some Diney dollars for a few rainbow ‘ritas, ‘cuase her head is gonna hurt ya know, but how is I ta know she’s a dame – and it is busyness right? She is breathing OK soz I figured she’ll be jus’ fine - looks almost like a green copper she does in in her strechy green suit...

anyways off I goez with all da corn, well a few cans roll out da door before I can shuts it. Youz know them golden nibblits is worth their weight in well gold, so some kid gets a jackpot when they find da few cans dat rolls out but hey I got da truck see? I’ iz on easy street - head up 95 for Filly and a big pay day.

Well back in dose days 95 didn’ make it through Filly – hey da right guys hadn’t seen no pay for protecting nothin' yet see - so no road - youz know what I am saying is da right ting - how can youz have all dat road buiden stuff widout nobody protecten it at night form some bum busten it up see.

So anywayz I takes a wrong turn heading across da bridge – guess what? I end up in Joisy! ‘tlantic Dance Hall or someting da sign says.

So I fence da corn and figure I should go into busyness for m’self. Well what is more natural fer a hood dan da hotel and some fair gamin? So I open up da place and bein’ da sentimental guy I is I call it da Golden Nugget!

Yeah ‘ijacken got me all set up. Good trade dat is aint it?

 

[charlie,nj]

Yeah I here where you are coming from Zurgie. Lets us stop da blue talkin bout tongues and thinga macgigies. I don’t appreatate da blue talk ya no. I never did like it when I went ta Vegas ta see that Dean Martin joker. (come ta tink a it I tink it was da Golden Nugget) I never could fiqa out why dat guy hadta work blue. So like Zurg saz lets keep it not blue OK..just incase there are da little ones in eye shot of da dis. Tanks youz.


Hey Waggy gurl may I digest one minute. You make me feel bad wit your posts on not only tongues but now the bailoanie. Let me tells youz dis little antidote about a little boy and a tongue and a bailoanie. When I was a little guy my muda..you know da muda I am takin bout..she would be da saint I mentioned up in a before post. Well one day I come in from playing wit Jimmy “pimples” ****** (I am goin ta hide da last name fa not to give his identifcation away) I comes in da home sweet home and I saz ta my muda dat I am hungry. She tells me she has a new kinda bailoanie meat fa me ta try. I trust my mom’s 100 percent so’s I sit down n she gives me dis hot meat sandwich. I opened up the bread and I sees a piece a meat wit pimples on it. (I swears it) It freaking reminds me a Jimmy. I tells ma dat I don’t like da looks a da meat. She gives he a knuckle on da noggin and says just eat the dam meat. She saz ta me dat the bailoanie musta been eating too many French fries on da farm..dat’s how it got da pimples. Hey dat sounded good ta me..so’s I ate da meat.

Well I ate the sandwinch as ta not piss off ma anyways.(her knuckles hurt). Let us fast forward 20 or so years. As I am sittin in my yard wit my muda..she outta the blue saz ta me. “You knows dat special bailoanie meat I gives you 20 or so years ago?” I saz yeah what bout it. Get dis God as my witness she saz “it was cow tongue ha ha ha” I didn’t know wat ta do… do I wack me own ma? I sumtimes don’t tink I could ever forgive my ma fa dat. It is always in da back of my head. Although sumtimes I will call her “da saint of bailoanie” just fa a joke you see…do youz tink dat is funny? I do.


Hey Zurg youz got some tales… you ever tink bout going Hollywood wit dem? I bet doze guys dat do da Sapanoes wood love ta get a piece a dat stuff. Dat bit about da corn was a killer. (excuse da pun) Hey I could sees it now in da credits…. “story line by Zurg”..not bad fa a hood.

 

[Wagamama]

absalutly hilarious!!

 

[Zurg]

Tanks Charlie, Tanks 'mama dem was nice dem ting youz sayed. See we all in da family and like Charlie sayes he sayes we gotta stik ta getter in da all da families gotta, an' mama I knows dem joisy guts id ok but don't do ta dinner widd'm iffen da got a ballbatt wid dem ya know?

So I says dat we all otta tell our stories bout getten inta da family and stuff so we all know watt kinda family we is ya know.

Like I was say'in i had dis corn and am timken easy money. Nope.

So it gez even worser just when I waz tinken I was in the gravy wagon. Like youz said Charlie, Deano had his gig at de nugget out in sin city. How am I ta know it was his gig huh? I mean to do no disrespect to da man, I waz jest thinken bout the nibblets setten me up. So now my joit is the same name as Deano’s and he wants a slice o’ my pie. Watt kin I do put to give da guy his propers?

Watt I knows is da Corn busyness. So I gets myself inta da holesale corn distribution. I get good at it see. Not a kernel in all o de east coast gets selled withouta me gettin a little. My truck, you kno da one I telled youz about earlier? My truck is getten a lot o using.

So now I iz worken hard to get Deano his cut and to have a little fer me and lo I come ta find dat de dame in my truck, youz know de one I gave a couplla bucks, outa de kindness o me big heart, a few dirnks to? See I'm tryen ta be a good guy here.

well dis chick in my truck, befor it is my truck (dere aint a ting wring with a previously used truck ya just gotta get a goo price ya know?) She, da truck dame, is in some kinda a chick gang. Who eva heared of a chick gang? I git dis call Yada Yada Ya Ya is all I ‘ears but dey was real pissed off. So now dis chick gang is all after me for da truck like I didn’t take it all fair’n square in de furst place.

Now I all worken fer Deano’s cut and I have dese chicks in dat sterachy green spundex runnin al ova my place maken trouble. Me I got nothi’ againt de chick in de tight green stuff if dey is fer looken at youz know? But dis is busyness see. Da was getten in de way and puttin’ grey tape all ova da place. Pian in da butt. Watt was it chew said… yeah, yeah it were like youz said “Dames I don’t trust any of dem…nofin but trouble..”

So now I gotta kleen up de tape and I gotta get Deano his cut and I gotta finish adjusten de vin numbas on me truck. Den dis guy looken like one-a dem goofy north pole birds, watta ya call dem, yeah pinguins, so dis guy, I think like Deano sent me an act for the nite club! But no he’z some kinda big deal spooky copper. He is axin’ all deez questions an’ I am loosen de sparkle offa da champain o me personability ya know?

He does good coppa, he does bad coppa it was like a francis ford coppola movie ya know but I seen dat one see. Watt he wants ta know is all about forign stuff, not de old county, like da U.N. kinnda stuff. So getta tinken dis guy may look a little fancy but by maybe he can ‘elp me gatta couple a new customers fer me corn truck see, so I start bein’ a little more nice ta da guy.

I find da de fancy paints copper aint de mob suquad - he don’t care nothing bout no hijackin no corn trucks. His financin’ aint all dat good, said sometin like “M” is on a diet.

Watta M is and why I care bout da diet I don’t now. But I see me an opprtune’ty, ya know watt I’m saying? a copper I can help out is always a good ‘nvestment ya know?

I is ‘bout to let’m ‘now I can get’m an honorarium, if youz know watt I am saying, wen ‘e starts talken all Ollie North like and he axs me ta help him out.

Kin I help fund his deal, so I says watt in it fer me ‘cus I already gotta give Deano his cut and da green tape chicks ‘r’ all ova da joint ‘n I’d luv ta ‘elp out an all but… (an I is tinken my cut is getten better ya knows?)

So da copper he says he knows a few guys who could use sum corn. Maybe a buncha guys. Do I got a truck? Do I gatta TRUCK? Yeah a gotta a freeking truck!So he says can I work in a few new rountes? I says sure you got some routes form my truck routeman? And ‘h says yeah just call me Routeman Dan.

 

[Zurg]

So da guy Routeman, he’s gotta funny speaken thing, says his name twice all da time like dis he says, “Da name’z Dan, Routemand Dan.”

Dan, he keeps call’n dis person “M” on he’z cell fone. One o dem real little tings.

Seems dat dis ‘M’ is like da god father of Dan’s copper mob and dey are look’n fer dis big time hood ‘hoo’s tryen ta take over everyone territory. So I figger dat if dere is some big hood out dere tryin ta take over da world da it’id be bad fer my corn busyness an’ I tink maybe I otta maybe see if dis copper’ll do dar dirty work o getten rig o’ dem so I’z don’t gotta spend any my cash on a mechanic (and I don’t mean fer me truck if ya knows watt I am sayen.)

Now I gotta tell ya it almos make me tink I otta be payen taxes if dey gotta copper looken to keep da other mob outa our turf. Dat der is sum forward looken coppers dat is.

Den I figger I can kill two stones in da bush wid da one in my hand, ya know. I see how I can maybe move more corn an at da getten dis Dan ta move some stuff fer me. He makes a few bucks on da side but no more dan any otter distributer, den (dis is de best part ‘ere) he spends HIS chas otta HIS share hunten down dis mystery god fadda, iff dere is one tryin’ ta take over my turf.

Dis is a good ting, I sell more, make more money. He does da job on da mystry hood (if dere is one.) Maybe I ken made nough ta change da name o me joint so I don’t gatta send nothing to dat Deano who getten rich offa my senden him a cut ya know. An I could used da doe ‘cause des green tape chicks is a real pain in da butt ya know. Da tink my truck is deir truck. Findas keepas and I’m doen da keepen.

Dan may be liven a little close to a waste dump ‘cause he’z got strange ideas. Like he’z liven too close tad a waste dump. Says dis ‘M’ and him tink da big bad god fadda de looken fer is called Simbo er sumting like dat.

 

[Wagamama]

yo zurgie boy...did ya see the "mysteries and scandals" thread that chick wagamoomoo stahted? what a mean thing to do...if i was you i would have her head! i would call the bahston/joisy and filudelfia family's and take her out. but ya know, i'm not you...

 

[Zurg]

Iz a gud ting I gatta sentence of humor, (the only good sentence I ever did get, get it dat was a joke so yoz betta be laughen.) or I wack you fer
dese lies

 

[Wagamama]

its a very good thing (who are you anyway? Martha Stewart?) that you have a sentence of humour.

 

[charlie,nj]

Yo Zurgie..watt you writin a book or sumtin? Youz gots sum histree..sum histree my friend. You are good wit da werds. Your reminds me a me mouthpiece Abe he’s a good joe he gots me an da crew outta a lot a big messes. He ain’t a hood but wit da dear prices he charges he should be. I pays a buck fifty a hour … a freeking arm and a leg. (no pun intened)

I’s love dat chew brought in da talk a da corn. I never new dat twas your family behind dat corn ting. I was thinking it dwas dat corn boy WillyJ and his crew. I heard he’s in Jersey doing sum business as we talk. Corn is very dear ta me hart. I tink it even beats out me deer ol ma sumtimes. (dat wood be da ma dat played dat durty meat switcher mickey rooney on me..dat I talked bout in a before post) (yeah you remember “the saint of the bailaonie..ha..ha..ha) Dew youz no sumtin? I make myself laugh so hard I sumtimes pea my pants..I swears it. It stinks cause it ruins them..those Haband elastic waste bands don’t act like a rubber band when day gets wet..you no’s. I guess I shoulds be a whereing da pampers or sumtin. Hey speakin a pampers we once beat a guy so bad he needed ta where dem fa a year and 3 and a half months. I’s don’t like ta bring da darkside a du hoods in ta dis ..but in dis game wez no you can lose big time an youz gots ta pay da piper. Sorry ta bring it down a nocho but maybe’s da little guys might be reading bout all dis an tinkin dat Zurg n me are’s in da money and leads a flashie lifes style.Well we’s don’t well at least now a day’s anyways. We got’s da feds jumping down our backs 24/7 after dat Johnny G screwed up wit dem wire taps. And doze dam Ruski hoods are crowdin the field…did youz no dat day’s took over da “man’s club” ladies. Just a cryin shame..why o why did dat berg have ta go from being commie. (dat dang Pope started dat all youz nose) I sumtimes wishes I could drinks a magic lotion da wood make it all like back in da old days. (doze anybody no where I can get one?..maybe one a dam freekin online drug store pop up’s I get on da aol will have it)


Hey Zurie please don’t take dis da wrong way..I’m tinkin dat maybe you and your crew are a little stupid. Hey at least I diden say youz had a ugly puss..(can I say dat on da dis?) .. why diden youz guys just name da joint “Da Golden Kernel” in sted a “Da Golden Nugget” Like youz says dat wood a solved da problem wit dat Deano character. I tink maybe you took a little two many shots to that noggin. Did your ma give you knuckles to da noggin when you was a kid? All so if you are havin a problem wit da transportation why don’t youz guys go two Hurts or Rida or sumtin and rent da truck? I tink if I was next two you right now I wood give you a knuckle to da noggin all by my lones sum. (ba da bing)

Dats it fer now I gots dat take a nap…I am tired from all dis tinkin and typen. I will have sum werds ta say bout dat Waggy gurl later.

Like I’s always saz ..”don’t takes any wooden slugs”…dare I go again I jus pea’ed in my best Haband’s again. Any body got a pamper? Ha ha ha