? Regarding leaving child alone in room

[livie1205]

Can you cite that FL state law? I just went looking for it, and I can't find such a statute anywhere. I *did* find this, however, on the current FAQ of the Florida 8th Judicial Circuit Family Court's website http://www.circuit8.org/family/:



There may be a county or local ordinance that applies (I won't dispute that possibility) but according to the 8th Circuit, no such STATE law currently exists in Florida.

this is true THANKS for posting it.

 

[livie1205]

I can't find a direct link at the moment, this has come from a lady here at work who has a husband that is a Brevard County Sherriff's deputy...I asked him the answer, and HE'S the one that told me it was 12, and they will arrest you!!!

not unless you go out all night and do not come home...I am sorry but that is not true.They are not going to arrest you for leaving a middle school aged child home alone.

 

[JimmyJr'sMom]

I got up early to p/up the rental car- they will pick you up at the hotel to go to Disney Car Care Ctr. I left Hubby and Son sleeping in the room.

Upon returning- I'm in the elevator- and I over hear two seniors discussing a young boy wandering the halls in his pajamas. I thought- what crappy parents. Hmmm.

Get to my room to discover hubby still sound asleep and my son missing.

Search of the nearby hallways- found him. Scared, alone.

Apparently- he woke up- and left the room to look for me. Once he exited the door- he could not get back in.

I SHOULD have woken hubby up when I left and made sure the top safety lock was in place.

BUT- It never occurred to me that Jr would wake up first and leave to look for me. I could not believe my hubby slept thru the kid waking up and the door being opened and shut.

LIVE AND LEARN. (Or learn from my mistake.)

Would I leave him for 5-10 min now? After I explained the rules- probably.
I might test him though.
Knock on the door- see if he answers to a stranger!!

 

[Don Disney]

I would have to say at least 16,and if it's DD,I would say at least 18.What can I say-I am the ESSENCE of overprotective!!!!

 

[rockundergirl]

I would have to say at least 16,and if it's DD,I would say at least 18.What can I say-I am the ESSENCE of overprotective!!!!

lol at 16 your DD can drive and get married, you remind me of my older brother.

 

[Don Disney]

lol at 16 your DD can drive and get married, you remind me of my older brother.

Don't remind me-she is driving,and a Senior in High School! My first-born is a young lady!!!!

 

[kevschickee]

We all feel our children are to be protected at all costs. But i could make your argument about anything. I'm willing to bet, it is much more likely that a person will get killed in an auto accident, then someones child getting kidnapped in a 10 min window. Do you not drive? of course you do,, but your as safe as can be about it,, do the speed limit, wear your seat belt, have your car inspected. I think that if she feels her 8 year old is mature enough to take instruction, she should just use caution, explain what to do if you wake and mommy's not thr, make sure the child understands how to use the phone.. etc...

IMO you can't compare driving to leaving your kids alone to get a cup of coffee. You drive to get from point a to point b a lot of times we have to drive. You don't HAVE TO get a cup of coffee.

 

[rockundergirl]

IMO you can't compare driving to leaving your kids alone to get a cup of coffee. You drive to get from point a to point b a lot of times we have to drive. You don't HAVE TO get a cup of coffee.

I see your argument, I understand how it can seem like an apples to oranges comparison. But I was responding to the Idea that if something has a risk, it should not be done. I don't see that as a way to live ones life.
To reply specify to what you said, I would have to insist that the average mother puts their child in the car for unnecessary trips more then once a week, with the full knowledge that driving can be very dangerous.
My point is really that with some imagination and a good dose of fear any situation wer a child exists can be a dangerous one. I'm home alone with my son right now, what if i fall down the stairs and hit my head and pass out, he might walk out of the door and get kidnapped.
i think we as parents love our children so much, that because the world has risks we grasp on to notions or ideas that make us feel more in control of our child's safety then is actually possible. Parents want to say " well my son/daughter is safe because I'm not the type of parents who would leave them alone for even a moment" It feels better/safer. I just don't think that it is.

 

[My5Mouseketeers]

I agree that the OP knows there child best and should use her best judgment.

Having said that I think that as parents our main goal is to turn our children into functioning adults. By 18 they should be pretty self-sufficient (not financially, but capable of taking care of themselves away at College). I believe that to get to that goal, we need to use baby steps. Giving them a little bit more responsibility (and chores) each year.

I think waiting till our children are 14, 15 or 16 to let them do things on their own is just setting them up for a very traumatic freshman year at college.

I would tell my 8 year old the night before what the plan was and feel fine leaving them to get a cut of coffee.

just my .02 cents

sandy

 

[livie1205]

I agree that the OP knows there child best and should use her best judgment.

Having said that I think that as parents our main goal is to turn our children into functioning adults. By 18 they should be pretty self-sufficient (not financially, but capable of taking care of themselves away at College). I believe that to get to that goal, we need to use baby steps. Giving them a little bit more responsibility (and chores) each year.

I think waiting till our children are 14, 15 or 16 to let them do things on their own is just setting them up for a very traumatic freshman year at college.

I would tell my 8 year old the night before what the plan was and feel fine leaving them to get a cut of coffee.

just my .02 cents

sandy

I agree...you have to start with something and I think waiting until your child is 15 or 16 to have any responsibility is just setting them up to be way to dependent on others for everything.They have to start to trust themselves and feel secure doing things on their own....I do not think running down to grab a cup of coffie is a big deal.

 

[picktails]

I had looked into this issue here in New Jersey as well when my children were younger, and asked a friend who is with the county police. He explained there is no law, ANYWHERE. BUT - the police have discretion and they can decide what is appropriate based on the situation. He also said the "norm" is age 12 where they do not consider an incident involving a child left alone to be negligence.
My daughter started babysitting at 12; not sure what that previous post not trusting 12/13 year olds is about. They are the BEST age - proud to be trusted, love the authority, want to prove their responsibility. They get more involved with boys, driving, and other distractions as they get older. Friends drop by uninvited, and they are less available.
My friend also told me that WDW is one of the SAFEST places on earth. That doesn't account for the guests, of course, but he said they have cameras in places you wouldn't imagine.
I have also had a similar conversation with an acquaintance that is a federal marshall, and he concurred. I've always felt WDW is a GREAT place to give your child some freedoms...

 

[kevschickee]

I had looked into this issue here in New Jersey as well when my children were younger, and asked a friend who is with the county police. He explained there is no law, ANYWHERE. BUT - the police have discretion and they can decide what is appropriate based on the situation. He also said the "norm" is age 12 where they do not consider an incident involving a child left alone to be negligence.
My daughter started babysitting at 12; not sure what that previous post not trusting 12/13 year olds is about. They are the BEST age - proud to be trusted, love the authority, want to prove their responsibility. They get more involved with boys, driving, and other distractions as they get older. Friends drop by uninvited, and they are less available.
My friend also told me that WDW is one of the SAFEST places on earth. That doesn't account for the guests, of course, but he said they have cameras in places you wouldn't imagine.
I have also had a similar conversation with an acquaintance that is a federal marshall, and he concurred. I've always felt WDW is a GREAT place to give your child some freedoms...

I was the one that said I wouldn't let a 12 yo babysit my kids and the truth is I wouldn't. I would not feel comfy enough to enjoy myself. It is nothing against any particular 12 year old I just wouldn't do it.

I would let my 12 year old stay home alone for a few hours but not on vacation esp in an area he or she isn't familiar with.

 

[sndfan]

I would feel more comfortable leaving my DS10 HOME alone for brief periods of time, but not on vacation in an unfamiliar hotel. Even if they've been there many times before.

I would go down the hall for ice, but that's about it.

Now, in the spring, once he earns his black belt, I'll feel better! He can take me down now (for practice), but I'm only 5' 2"...ha!

Use your gut instinct, but I just feel that 8 is awfully young. Try and plan ahead so that you can make use of your time (i.e. coffeemaker, breakfast, etc).

 

[littlbugmom]

I wouldn't leave an 8yr old alone in a hotel room. My dd9 is a calm, level-headed and responsible girl....I still wouldn't leave her alone. I just don't see the need. If I knew I'd be up a lot earlier than she would be, I'd plan for that. Small coffee pot in the room and a good book (actually, I'd probably go over park plans for the day) and I'd be set.



Kim

 

[brandylouwho]

I'm sorry i hope i don't offend anyone, but i think the amount of judgment our society places on mothers is nuts. Why are we scaring this woman to death because she wants a cup of coffee. It should be up to the parents as to when they leave thr kids alone. Clearly no child should be in danger, but its just a simple reality that you can't sit 24 hours a day glued to your child. I might be speaking out of place, i only have a 4 year old, so i have not been in a position to leave him alone yet, but come on, when i was 8 I used to walk to school by myself... alone... ask your child what they think they should do if they wake up and your not thr, she what they say, decide if they are ready.

Have you read Free-Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy? I swear this sort of philosophy seems to be in the minority these days, but it is pretty much how I would like to raise my kids (and yet struggle with the guilt placed on us by outside forces, other mothers, etc.)

In any case, I agree that it is a very personal decision and really depends on the individual kid, not the age per say. My kids are only 5 & 2 right now, so it will be at least several years before I need to worry about this sort of thing. Heck, my 5 year old thought I was a horrible mom for leaving her in the house alone while I played in the backyard with the 2 year old yesterday.

So, to the OP, if you think your son can handle it, go for it. But I suspect you might not be so comfortable with the idea, or you probably would not have posted the question here in the first place.

 

[veraletta]

bouncycat
Also, State of Florida LAW states that it is ILLEGAL to leave any child under the age of 12 alone, either in a car, or a house, or apartment, not sure if that includes hotels but it probably does. I have a co-worker who's husband works for our County Sherriff's office, and I asked her. Does it happen younger then that, sure, but if you get caught, you CAN go to jail!!! Keep that in mind...I have an 11 yr old, and am scared to death to leave him home alone, even after getting off the bus, and I work 2 miles from home!! My DH is a Chief in the Coast Guard, it wouldn't look good if his wife went to Jail for child endangerment, or neglect, or anything else!!

It's the same in Ohio! My Kids are all grown and I never left them alone until they were well over the age of 12! It was more 14 LOL.

 

[veraletta]

Gretchen3ajoshmom
I couldn't do it... my kids would do something that required security to come...

That's too funny!

 

[My5Mouseketeers]

My 3 oldest kids each got Red Cross Certified to babysit at the age of 11. So I was very comfortable (and knew it was legal) to leave them home while I ran errands.

They also started being "Mothers Helpers" and after awhile those parents were also comfortable leaving for short periods of time.

 

[Bribrittmom]

I agree that the OP knows there child best and should use her best judgment.

Having said that I think that as parents our main goal is to turn our children into functioning adults. By 18 they should be pretty self-sufficient (not financially, but capable of taking care of themselves away at College). I believe that to get to that goal, we need to use baby steps. Giving them a little bit more responsibility (and chores) each year.

I think waiting till our children are 14, 15 or 16 to let them do things on their own is just setting them up for a very traumatic freshman year at college.

I would tell my 8 year old the night before what the plan was and feel fine leaving them to get a cut of coffee.

just my .02 cents

sandy

I totally agree with your thinking and and logic.

 

[robinb]

Have you read Free-Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy? I swear this sort of philosophy seems to be in the minority these days, but it is pretty much how I would like to raise my kids (and yet struggle with the guilt placed on us by outside forces, other mothers, etc.)

Thanks for the book suggestion! I just put it on hold at my library.

I think that I have a "free range" philosophy. I let me 9-year old go 2-3 blocks over to play with friends and she even goes away on *gasp* sleep overs! I do have to admit that I drew the line when her friend asked her to go to CANADA, but only because it was at the last minute. If I had 2-3 months notice I would have considered it. Heck, my DD already has a passport .

I have another book suggestion:

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker

It is a SANE way to view the dangers to children and how to protect them without becoming a helicopter parent.