refuses to admit she's getting old

[fun & fancy free]

I have a problem with my MOM. She has been divorced for many years and has always been included on my family vacations. We went to the world two years ago (myself,DH,DD,DDand my mom). It was a disaster she has arthritis and refuses to get a wheelchair or scooter she rather just lean on the stroller the kids are in. Well she walked so slow that the kids became frustrated and got out this lead to them becoming very tired and cranky. The would not ride in the stroller if Grammy was pushing. I do have to say the day she decided to stay back at the room we got so much more accomplished with no complaints from the kids. My Dh want to go back to the worl last year but did not want to take my MOM. I was not upset with him but in agreement. The problem came when I had to tell her we were going and ahe wasn't welcome. She took the news very well but the GUILT was terrible. We booked another trip this year to WDW without her and the guilt is here again. I don't know how to get around this feeling. By the way I have 2 sisters and only one other ever invites her anywhere. This only adds to the guilt. Any advise?

 

[dzneelvr]

I have to do a bit of scolding to you--if your mom took it well that she wasn't going to WDW this trip, don't you think she realized the impact she made on your family the last trip?? Don't you think she IS "admitting" she's a bit too old for the pace??
Sounds to me like you want to be the "victim" in the situation...."feel sorry for me because I feel guilty..."
Come on--get past it. YOU are the only one making YOU feel this way. Your last sentence says it all. You are really feeling the way you do because you resent your sisters....this has nothing to do anymore with your mom--it has to do with the way you want your sisters to feel toward you.
Just stop it.

 

[disneychrista]

I understand completely. My mom has been known to "wiggle" her way into my Disney trips. When she comes things are so much harder because she has things she wants to do that the rest of us don't really. Like where she wants to eat. We are good with counter service, while she always wants to try "sit downs." She was so lost on our WDW trip (we usually go to Disneyland) because she refused to do any research. I spent 3 years planning the trip (over a year of it BEFORE she decided she was going too).

I am a single mom. And I don't know it is really really hard to have another adult along when you are used to doing things your way. Having to take into accout what others want to do puts a damper on things.

Now if you are really feeling guitly about it. Ask her if she wants to go. Maybe all this time she has been going becuase she thinks YOU want her along not because SHE wants to. If hshe does really want to go then maybe NEXT TIME plan for her to go too. Talk to her about a wheelchair or scooter. Tell her how much easier it would be for HER if she would use the wheelchair. Make it a postive thing.

 

[fun & fancy free]

disneychrista thanks for suggestion. So you know I have approached her several times about the use of a wheelchair on trips that require alot of walking. One was an upcoming trip to NYC we spend the day browsing windows and doing lunch. I would love for her to come because she always loved doing this in the past. She has opted out because she said she will not use a chair and there are not alot of places to sit and rest. We talked quite a bit about all that she could be doing if she would just take that little bit of help. I even saw one of the walkers with a fold up seat that I was going to buy her and she said that she did not need it so I would be wasting my $. I guess I will keep trying.

Despite some people's opinion(dzneelver) This isn't about me it's about my kids and their Grammy. Those who do not know me shouldn't judge me.

 

[F1Julie]

Here's another suggestion. Maybe take a Disney cruise rather than going to WDW next time. I haven't done it yet, but have only heard great things. You'll get all the Disney magic while staying on a boat. Your mom can do as much or as little as she'd like. The kids can hang out in the kids clubs or you can do stuff as a family.

 

[fun & fancy free]

F1julie what a great idea the best of both worlds alittle disney for us and alittle rest for mom. I really appreciate your kind response. Maybe something to think about for 2006.