Reasons you should never travel with a group!

[blana]

So, DH's family decided to go to Disney. We made plans, agreed on certain things, and SIL got her travel agent (a whole nother post) to make the plans, and because IL's are payign for most of it, I never hear anything else. Trip is next Friday. Found out last week that we're staying in a different hotel than I had been told. Okay. No real issue, still a moderate. Then, tonight, at MIL's birthday dinner, omeone asks, so are we getting that food thing? FIL says "No, we decided it was just a waste of money." Uhm, I had ADR's for my crew booked at 180 days out. I even had resies for all 10 of us for 2 days. No one bothered to tell me. And so now, I'm on the phone with Disney Dining making changes. *sigh*

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

Ugh! As someone who has traveled with inlaws before, I feel your pain!

 

[teilla]

I guess that's why my mom made me responsible for all the planning this past Dec ('07). Since I planned the smaller Disney trip 2 yrs ago ('06 - 8 of us), she said I can plan the bigger family reunion (23 altogether - from 6 months to 70yrs). Basically it's family from my dad's side (aunts, uncles, cousins), my neice and nephew, and my brothers, sister and sis-in-law, my mom and dad. I did invite my aunt (the 1 sister my mom has here in the US) and her family, but she couldn't get off work and my cousin was sick a month before the trip and couldn't get anymore time off.

Just basically asked if there was any park preference. Then made plans accordingly. Booked the ADRs. Btw, this was all 3 months before the trip. I was crossing my fingers and saying prayers everytime I picked up the phone to make ressies.

Everyone said they had a good time. We were there for 1 week. Some of the family could only come for a 3 or 4 days, so we had people coming and going. But we did have 2 whole days were everyone was there together.

Downside is, now everyone wants me to plan the next family reunion outing, and it's going to be more than 23 people next time.

Blana, make some special plans for your own family. For example a special ADR meal on a day off or something. And just have fun. It is a vacation after all.

 

[blana]

Thanks guys. Dh thinks I'm over-reacting. I explained to him that if I was over-reacting, I would have fussed at his father rather than just to him after we left. All I told the IL's was that that meant I had to change my plans. SIL swore she thought she had told me, but then mentioned that she told me at a time DH & I weren't there with the rest of the family. Luckily, I was able to switch out all of our supper ADRs for late breakfasts or early lunches, so we'll proably still break even without the Dining Plan. Now if I had just been able to sleep last night. Finding this sort of thing out not long before bed such that I have to mess up my night time routine to fix it meant that I was too hyped to stay asleep.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Thanks guys. Dh thinks I'm over-reacting. I explained to him that if I was over-reacting, I would have fussed at his father rather than just to him after we left. All I told the IL's was that that meant I had to change my plans. SIL swore she thought she had told me, but then mentioned that she told me at a time DH & I weren't there with the rest of the family. Luckily, I was able to switch out all of our supper ADRs for late breakfasts or early lunches, so we'll proably still break even without the Dining Plan. Now if I had just been able to sleep last night. Finding this sort of thing out not long before bed such that I have to mess up my night time routine to fix it meant that I was too hyped to stay asleep.

Are you booked as a group? If not, you can have dining added to your reservation.

Sorry, but I have to agree with your husband here. Even if the plans were changed on you, your ILs are paying for most of the trip.

I wish someone was picking up the tap (or most of it) for my next trip. I wouldn't worry about changes, I'd think about all the money I was saving (which be used for another trip)and just go with the flow.

 

[jazzmine]

It is hard to go with the flow when other people are involved! I'm such a planner and we went down with my inlaws a few years ago and I had to just bite my tongue a few times. Glad that you were able to get things straightened out with your dining plans - have a great time on your trip and hopefully everything will go well!

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Doing Disney with a large group can either be a total blast or a total nightmare-it really just hinges on communication and vacation styles. I would definitely plan some time with just your DH-so maybe you can still get in on some of those meals you had wanted to do.

Personally I am one of those people who plan the whole vacation out (so understand your distress at having the plans all messed up in the home stretch here). Would have been nice if someone had communicated the changes to you. Not much you can do though. I've noticed for myself that when it is just us traveling to Disney..I am very much planned to the max and in commando mode. When we are with a group, we just go with the flow. I enjoy everyone else experiencing Disney and plus I know that I will be back again real soon, so if I miss anything on one trip, I'll do it on the next one.

 

[blana]

Are you booked as a group? If not, you can have dining added to your reservation.

Sorry, but I have to agree with your husband here. Even if the plans were changed on you, your ILs are paying for most of the trip.

I wish someone was picking up the tap (or most of it) for my next trip. I wouldn't worry about changes, I'd think about all the money I was saving (which be used for another trip)and just go with the flow.

Well. I guess that is one way to look at it. We were going to be paying for the dining plan ourselves, as well as paying for an additional 4 nights at the hotel, parks, and airplane fare. Since it was booked through the travel agent, who I don't have any way of contacting, I'd have to wait until I got there to make any changes, though, and I'm assuming have to forfeit any discounts the TA got us on the room only package because I'd be changing the package type. (Could be wrong on that one. ) Oh, and I guess the one additional piece of information is that I discussed with SIL who was in touch with the TA that even if no one else got the plan, that I wanted the three of us to get it. Told her that twice, including the week that she ordered the tickets. So, she didn't bother to pay attention to my specific requests. Nor to tell me when we've been off alone together. But, once again, I was able to switch everything out to the breakfasts so that we should be breaking about even with what we would have done anyway, we'll just have more CS meals while everyone else is there than I was expecting.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

The way I look at this, you're getting a free trip to the World. Someone is paying for your room and tickets. Be thankful for that. Don't expect them to pay for your meals, too.

 

[blana]

As I said in the pp, we were going to pay for the dining plan. The issue was that no one told us what was going on, until it happened to slip out in our presence, after agreements had been made with all 10 of us present. I didn't go with them the last time the whole family went because of issues like this in the past, but this time, with DS, I thought it wouldn't be right to not go with his grandparents.

 

[mousebymarriage]

I know it's frustrating to be kept in the dark and then have the initial plan changed at the last minute. Just relax and enjoy the trip, don't go into it angry or you'll have a miserable time. Believe me ,I too have mixed emotions about our Grand Gathering in 2 weeks. We are a group of 17 our largest Grand Gathering ever. Some are family and a few are friends that have never been before! I'm a bit worried but, I am determined to have a good time.

 

[DisTeach1]

Just try and put it in perspective...Sometimes I think everyone gets all worked up about these trips to Disney and how they will turn out. They act as if it is life and death, and it really isn't. After going to 3 unplanned funerals in 2007, I just can't get all worked up about ADR's and a vacation. Relax and enjoy yourself.

After 7 trips, my son really doesn't remember where we ate, he just remembers the fun we had. No matter what, you won't starve. Just go with the flow...it's not worth the stress.

 

[DevilDuckie]

So now you know you don't like to travel with them and next time they invite you you can decline. No biggie. We do Disney with a fluctuating group and have a grand time, but I imagine it varies based on the members of the group.

 

[HappyLawyer]

we like to do our own thing, go when we want and leave when we want. The grup thing does not work.

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

You can still add the dining plan on to your room reservation, no worries about losing the discount, it will still be there. I plan Grand Gatherings all the time and some families have the plan, some don't, just be sure to let your server at the restaurant know before you order if you are dining with others who don't have it.

Edited to add: I didn't see that you had a room only ressie to start with, that could cause a problem. If you're ok with what you've done to change your ADR's around and still break even, I would just go and have fun and not worry about it. We're headed down in May with a group of 14 (our smallest group ever, lol), we're all staying at different resorts, and only one room has the dining plan because the rest of us are AP holders. It is possible, but if you make any changes to the ressie once you get there, the TA only gets paid for the portion that she helped book (meaning the room only plus tickets) or not at all.

 

[mom2cinderella]

Don't ya hate it when (what should be) simple communication breaks down?

I'm another one that would rather not travel with extended family/in-laws. Between the we-like-to-go-with-the-flow-serendipity side (and by serendipity they mean standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring at a map ) and the constant-griping-about-lines-and-how-much-everything-costs side, I go nuts.

I hope you have a very magical vacation and can make a few changes when you check in.

Michele