Really Bad Parents.....

[Melora]

I was going to write about this the other day but ended up getting distracted before I had a chance...

The thread about unruly, bullying school kids reminded me and I thought I would share this incident that happened at the cummunity pool in our housing complex.

Part 1: I arrived at the pool with 3 of my kids on Tuesday afternoon and I wasnt there for more than 5 minutes when I noticed this little girl maybe about 4, wearing one of those floaties that are like 2 kick boards tied together on the front and back. She was swimming over to the shallow end and gasping and choking on water. She was coughing quite a bit and looked really scared. I reached and pulled her to the stairs and started looking around for her parent. No one looked even remotely concerned. She continued to cough and I guess she had lost her balance on the floatie (which I know clearly states it is not a life saving device and do not leave child unsupervised) and had swallowed a big mouthful of water.

I kept asking her if she was OK but she looked so freaked out. I finally got her to say she was OK and I kept looking for her parent. No one was even looking at us. There were a fair number of people there, maybe 18-20, but not a single adult was noticing my interaction with her. She got out of the pool and walked way around the other side all the way over to a table in the shade where a man was sitting with his back to the pool. She went up and talked to him, pointed at me then went back to the pool. I was waiting to see if this steller example of parenting would do or say anything but he did not. He had a baby about one year old sitting on the lounge that he was also not paying a whole lot of attention to.

Part 2: I noticed this wonderful dad who continued to ignore his daughter while she swam, also had a son about 9 or 10. After awhile this boy started rough housing with 2 other same age boys. The "game" they were playing evolved into the 3 of them standing next to the pool trying to push the other in. It got so rough that several times I closed my eyes as I was sure one of them was going to crack his head open as they others flung other in.

One of the boys was not quite as "brave" as the others and often would sit down or shout Stop, let me go which caused the other boys to become more wound up than ever and would grab any part of him they could and launch him into the pool. Most of the time banging a body part as it went in. Then they would launch themselves off the edge and try to land on the boy.

They were out of control. And the dad? He was watching and laughing and smiling as his son got the better of the weaker, more timid one (who was the brother of the other boy they were playing with).

And the OTHER dad.. of the brothers? He was busy throwing his 4-5 year old other son as high into the air and into the pool as possible without regard to where the kid was landing. Twice he threw his son into another kid.

When the less brave son swam over and said his arm hurt from where his brother drug him into the pool, he also chided him for being a wimp .

I know saying anything to this guy would have been pointless, but I was so mad that I ended up leaving early because I couldnt watch it anymore.

I never wonder why kids are like they are.... I see it first hand in parents like this.

 

[Disfan1]

And these same parents are going to wonder why their sons are so out of control in a few years...

 

[buzzlady]

Wasn't there any lifeguards or any management that you could have reported them to?

 

[tiggersmom2]

I live in a subdivision with three pools and NO lifeguard. I also see the horrible parents every day!! I so feel your pain Melora! I can't even take my 19 month old in the pools because of all the HORRIBLY misbehaved kids!

 

[Melora]

Nope no lifeguards...

and last year while I was at the pool some kids saw a birds nest up in the rafters of one of the overhangs and they started to poke at it with the long pool net.

I said "Hey, I don't think your parents woudl want you to do that" (their stupid parents were there for petes sake and once again not paying attention). The kids said "Oh they don't care" So I said "well I think those birds care" and they stopped and went and told their mother who glared at me.. Yeah go ahead ya dumb lady, come over here and just let me tell you what your kids were doing.... UGH!

But in a stroke of dumb luck the new neighbors have the most polite children. The 10 year old boy came over to get our number so my daughter can babysit for them and he said "it was nice to meet you" to my daughter when he left.

 

[Hillbeans]

You really hit a nerve with this one. I'm most certain I would have freaked out in front of everyone at the pool and said something to the effect of "I am going to call the Management company if one more person leaves their child unattended by this pool". If that poor little girl drowned in front of your face, you'd never forgive yourself even though you did not one thing wrong.

I know you may not want to cause any trouble, but i'd seriously consider writing someone to implement a lifeguard rule at this pool.

 

[Shutterbug]

Originally posted by Melora
Yeah go ahead ya dumb lady, come over here and just let me tell you what your kids were doing.... UGH!

I imagined you saying this in a Dirty Harry voice followed by
"Go ahead make my day" LOL

 

[tiggersmom2]

Hillbeans,
That is a good idea, but to have a lifeguard the dues would increase DRASTICALLY!!!! We already pay $1,200 a year just for the "privilege" to live here. I would hate to see the cost if we had to get a lifeguard!

 

[Hillbeans]

Good point about the cost of the lifeguards. Here in NJ, our housing complex has one from Memorial Day to Labor Day from 12-8 every day, those are the only swimming times.

Perhaps if your complex sends out a newsletter they can add a comment about pool safety? It sounds like something needs to change there soon or someone may possibly get very hurt or drown. I would think their insurance would necessitate a lifeguard, especially due to the high risk and liability.

 

[SRUAlmn]

AMEN! I work with children at an upscale fitness club and I see examples of this every day. (I see some really good parents too, so don't get me wrong ) It's amazing to me where some parents' priorities lie. Why do they even have children?? I always say that you have to be 16 & pass a test to drive, you have to be 21 to drink, you have to be 18 to vote...there are so many regulations on things, but any idiot (pardon my anger) can have a child. They should make people pass a test before they can reproduce. It's really sad! I feel so bad for the kids. I often times try to give people the benefit of the doubt because I have an education degree and I know that not everyone has had the specific education and development classes that I have had, but so much of it is COMMON SENSE... watch your kid (who can't swim) in the pool....DUH!

OK, done venting

 

[Melora]

We usually have lifeguards in the summer. At least they did last year.... but I believe there was problems with them. They were young.. red cross certified but probably only 16-18. I think they had issues with the kids bringing other kids to hang out with them and not being "authoritative" enough. You can imagine these dopey parents and their reactions to a young person telling them to stop their kids from "horsing around".

We'll see who they get this year to help with this problem.

 

[bentley483]

I realize that while this may not be the best thing to do, I will usually go to the children and get on to them myself if their parent won't do anything. I volunteer at the school and almost every kid in our neighborhood has played in my yard at one time or another. Usually the children will stop whatever misbehavior they are participating in just because an adult has called them on it. They usually know when they are doing something wrong and most just keep on to see how long they can get away with it.

If confronted by a parent due to correcting their child I will usually say "I didn't think you could see them from where you were and we all know 'it takes a village' ". If they get upset, so be it. I would rather have one pissed off parent than a child hurt or killed due to negligence.

I've pulled several out of the pool, kept 6 from drowning in the lake when the boat caught fire because they were "fishing" with a cord attached to the boat battery, and fussed at alot more than I birthed. I would feel awful if something happened toa child because I stood there and waited for some of these parents to get up and do something about their unruly child!

(Getting down off of my soapbox now!)