Really Bad Joke Thread

[Cindyluwho]

I can't even think of a joke this morning but I had to subscribe just to keep reading!

 

[jennyl772003]

What did the 0 say to the 8?


Nice belt.

 

[ChrizJen]

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. The Priest walks into a bar, then turns to the Rabbi and says "DUCK".

 

[rie'smom]

Does this qualify?
A woman brings a man home. She says I have a magic mirror.He doesn't believe her so she says:
"Mirror,mirror on the door,make my bust a 44", and voila she's a 44. She excuses herself and tells him not to use the mirror.
Of course ,he doesn't listen.
He says,"Mirror,mirror on the door, make my thingee touch the floor," and his thingee falls off!

 

[dwbakerjr]

As spring migration approached, two vultures decided to go North by airplane. When they checked their baggage the flight attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead armadillos. "Do you wish to check the armadillos through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."

 

[Amapola]

What do you do if you find Chicago IL?

Call Baltimore MD


(you said BAD jokes, right? )

 

[diznygirl]

Where does the General keep his armies?


Up his sleevies!

 

[disneymama73]

Two strings walk into a bar. The first tries to order something. "I don't serve strings in this bar," the bartender says roughly and throws him out.

The second ruffs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in, and orders. "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" the bartender says.

"Yeah," the string says.

"Aren't you a string?" the bartender says.

"I'm a frayed knot," the string replies.

 

[Jrsy Boy]

Two strings walk into a bar. The first tries to order something. "I don't serve strings in this bar," the bartender says roughly and throws him out.

The second ruffs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in, and orders. "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" the bartender says.

"Yeah," the string says.

"Aren't you a string?" the bartender says.

"I'm a frayed knot," the string replies.

I love that joke! Glad you got a tag for your effort. Here's another:

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms here."

The mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"

or, how about this one...

A goose walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, buddy, your pants are down."

 

[GoodFairies]

A magic tractor was riding down a country road, when all of a sudden it turned into a field.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

What happens when a frog is parked illegally?

He's toad.

 

[funhouse8]

What do you call a leprechaun that is sitting on your lawn?

Paddy-O-Furniture

 

[dwbakerjr]

You're on your horse being closely pursued by a lion, who doesn't seem to be gaining on you. But you are blocked on the left by a running elephant and in front by galloping giraffe. To your right is a sharp drop off / precipice.

How do you escape such a situation?






Get off of the merry-go-round.

 

[Jrsy Boy]

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

 

[disneymama73]

How do you know policemen are strong?
Because they can hold up traffic.

 

[disneymama73]

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?
Does this taste funny to you?

 

[disneymama73]

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

 

[Debbie Jean]

Did you hear the man who invented the hokie pokie died? When they buried him, they .....
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put his right leg in, they put his right leg out....

 

[momof3littlelilos]

a skeleton walks into a bar and says "bartender, give me a beer and a mop"

what's the last thing that passes through a fly's mind when he hits the windshield?
@
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@
@
his a**

 

[mickeyfan2]

A man walks into a bar.
The other man ducks.