Rant about elderly neighbor's nephew!

[Colleen A.]

Our neighbor is 83 yrs old and has dementia (sp?). A couple weeks ago, his nephew came over and told us that he had taken his uncle's car after he went for a drive, got lost (ended up near NY), drove across a highway...up the wrong way on the highway...and crashed into a snow bank! He never even made arrangements for ways for his uncle to get places for over a week! We were taking meals over to him and taking him on errands he needed to do (not that I'm complaining about having to do this, it's just that his family should of taken responsibility!) Finally, they arranged to have home health aids come in a few times a week. Last evening, his car shows up back in his driveway and the nephew is at our door! He tells us that his uncle told him he was going out to buy another car so he was returning his! (only so his uncle wouldn't spend HIS inheritence! ) He handed us a set of the keys. My DH and father, who took the keys, ASSUMED that this was just a copy of the keys in case he misplaced his set or something. My neighbor comes over this morning, looking for the keys. Turns out this is the only set and his nephew told him we had them and to get them from us!! This man has no business being behind the wheel, but who are we to keep his keys? We told him that his nephew must of been mistaken....we didn't have the keys. I don't know what to do about this! I would hate to see him hurting himself...or worse....someone else. We tried to talk to him and tell him he shouldn't drive but he doesn't care. He wants to "go fishing"!

Ugh!! What should we do?

Colleen

PS Thanks for listening!

 

[mhopset]

Colleen, Take the man fishing!

 

[Colleen A.]

Tony,

I don't do fish! Just ask Dennis and Kirk!!

A small update on this. My father called this man's niece. She basically told him that "I don't want to get involved" and not to bother her again! I had suggested to my father that we mail these keys back to the nephew by certified mail and force him to return the keys. I also wondered if maybe we should just turn these keys over to the local police and let them determine whether the man should be driving. All you need to do is talk to him for a couple minutes and you can see he is not always that alert. As may father says, "These golden years are covered in tarnish!"

 

[FOJMO]

I would definitely NOT keep the keys. This man, although you can be a friend to him, etc., is NOT your responsibility. What if something happened to him and the nephew tried to blame you guys for it?

I would do either of the two things you said -- mail the keys back to the nephew or go to the police. OR, if you know where the nephew lives, take the keys back to him in person and tell him you are NOT responsible for his uncle and he, or someone in the family, needs to BE responsible.

Good luck! Your heart is in the right place!