Question regarding requesting regular teacher communication

[irish_trip_mom]

I have a son with autism and has been having very difficult behaviors at school. At his last IEP, he was recommended for a FBA. He throws tantrums regularly at school, disrupting the class.

I had asked his teacher if we could touch base 1x a week so we could be on the same page. We do an intensive ABA program at home and while we see behaviors at home,we are able to manage them by using ABA techniques. I had offered for her to call me at her convenience. She then recommended that maybe we chat when I pick him up from school. I thought it was settled.

Then I got a note from her that she and the principal would like to discuss my request. I said fine, and we have a meeting scheduled for after Thanksgiving.

I don't think I asked for anything out of the ordinary, but apparently the school is not viewing it this way. It's my interpretation of No Child Left Behind that parent communication, observations, etc. are within the realms. Does anyone have any experience? Thanks!

 

[Schmeck]

Well, here in good old MA, 'No Child Left Behind' just means the kids have to pass certain standards to graduate high school, and does nothing to improve parent/teacher communication except by adding a set of progress reports sent home to all homes, not just those with students at risk of not meeting the testing standards.

 

[cymomtx]

All your asking for is a weekly conference, whether it be written/verbal or in person. It's their choice how difficult they want to make it!

 

[belle&beast]

I have seen communication notebooks used daily or weekly with students. (I am a speech pathologist in the school system.) The notebook goes home with information about the school day and the parent responds about what is happening at home. I also have seen specific "checklist" type forms that go home daily: Today I played with__________, I ate __________ at lunch, etc. depending upon what the child's need are. If you are working on a behavior plan I would think that the teacher would want to communicate with you to get your input and to work together to be consistent.

 

[Maryr1]

I have a developmentally delayed DD8-we have used a communication book since she started school. Most days the teacher puts in a star for a good day,an = for an OK day or a - for a bad day. The bad days always get some sort of explanation(very distracted,uncooperative etc.) This takes (on most days) about 2 seconds of the teachers time. If they are working on something special that needs extra attention at home, she uses this to let me know. It helps me track my DD behavior. I can see if we are having trends-especially negative behavior and I can start to address that. This way we don't overreact to one bad day (everybody has bad days) and we aren't blindsided by ongoing issues.I have never had a teacher dislike this system. Good luck and don't let the school bully you!

 

[Schmeck]

I have a developmentally delayed DD8-we have used a communication book since she started school. Most days the teacher puts in a star for a good day,an = for an OK day or a - for a bad day. The bad days always get some sort of explanation(very distracted,uncooperative etc.) This takes (on most days) about 2 seconds of the teachers time. If they are working on something special that needs extra attention at home, she uses this to let me know. It helps me track my DD behavior. I can see if we are having trends-especially negative behavior and I can start to address that. This way we don't overreact to one bad day (everybody has bad days) and we aren't blindsided by ongoing issues.I have never had a teacher dislike this system. Good luck and don't let the school bully you!

Who is responsible for getting the notebook to/from the teacher, etc? Is this something your 8 yr old does, or is it the teacher's responsibility?

 

[DIS-NH]

We use the communication notebook which allows a great 2-way flow of data. If my son is having a bad morning, I'm able to give them a "heads up" before he gets out of hand. From the other side...we're able to get a clear picture of his day. We're not writng a daily novel....just short updates.

We made this a requirement in the IEP. Fortunatley, our teachers see the benefit and use it as designed.

You are not ouf line for requesting the weekly meeting. Don;t second guess yourself.

 

[karynnix]

If he is having that much trouble, he should be able to have a one-on-one aide with him. My DS has a 1:1 and it has made things so much easier. I don't have to attempt communication with the teacher so much...most of the communication is through her. She uses ABA to calm him, but she hasn't had to do that in a while! Jack just needed the security of having someone with him all of the time. Keep up the great work with your son...you sound like you are a great mom!

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Parent-teacher communication is a regular whether or not No Child Left Behind is in existence. It has nothing to do with that at all. I really hate when people quote it.

It is difficult for teachers to give a weekly report because that adds to the paperwork we have when we rather focus on the kids. Sure, we can do it and it gets done, but it may not be necessary every week. I have had autistic children and have one now and a weekly report is almost redundant.

Keep an open mind. There might be an easier way. Perhaps emailing her every other week?

 

[Maryr1]

I put the notebook in her back pack and she puts it with her things in the classroom. When they gather their things to go home each day,she knows to put it with all that stuff in her back pack. It really is a great way to keep everybody in the loop-if she has had a bad start in the AM-I mention it, if there is a bug going around the classs the teacher might jot that in-just to give me a heads up. It is in her IEP that this is needed, but my daughter goes to a private school so her classroom teacher is not required to write in it-just her special ed teacher who comes from our home district. Her classroom teacher is awesome-so helpful and great about working with the special ed teacher and my daughters tutor-it really is time consuming and she gives 200%-every time!!! All of her teachers, speech therapist, tudor have been so wonderful this year. It has made a huge difference. Her 2nd grade year was just like this too but 1st grade-YUCK! Her classroom teacher was awful-zero help,used my daughter as an example of "How not to be".....UGGHHHH! I have been on both sides and when you have a team thats works together it is such a better situation for all-especially the child! Good luck!

 

[MomOf2DisneyKids]

wow, what a coincidence, because I'm stressing about not having as much communication w/my ds's teacher(s) as I would like too. (He has an ASD.) I *SO* wish we had made it a requirement in the IEP. If something happens, I want to know about it....and not just whenever and IF my ds happens to mention it. We had a checklist last year which got used a lot (some days it was forgotten), but now there are some emails....yes, more than 'regular' kids, but not as much as I think we should be getting and I hate feeling like I have to BEG for info about my child. (I can't imagine getting an email just every other week!!) Maybe I'll work on an updated checklist (should be less than one minute for the teachers, unless there's a problem, in which case they should be letting me know anyways) ...and I can ask to start it after Thanksgiving.
Good luck and I hope you figure out something that works for you!!

 

[stenickar]

I have 2 children with autism. We have a notebook that we send back and forth daily. I write a note in the am and the then the school writes a note back in the pm. I have done this since my son was in Kindergarten, now he is in 5th grade. Does your child have an assistant or paraprofessional with him? If so it really should not be a problem for them to write you a note daily. I would pose it to them as a positive for you, the teacher and your son. It will help them know how his evening and morning went. It will help you know how his day went. If they balk at that I would offer a checklist sort of form that the teacher could check off at the end of the day. Hope this helps.

 

[Goofyluver]

I am also the parent of a special needs child with multiple needs. As a parent, you must remember that it is your job to ensure that your child is being taken care of. Every child is guaranteed the right to an appropriate education. The regular education teacher and all others involved in your child's education are responsible to provide this. Communication once a week in order for you to ensure that your child is receiving the services that he needs (and that things are going well), is not too much to ask. It is your right as a parent to inquire on how things are going with your child's program. If a weekly 5 minute phone call is too much for a teacher, then maybe that teacher needs to explore another profession. In every class, there will be children with multiple needs. What if your child needed to be tube fed at school or needed asthma medication? Is this also too much to ask because it takes too much time? Remember, as your child's parent, it is your job to advocate for your child. If you don't do it, who will?

Sorry if this comes off as a big hostile, but I had an IEP for my son today and it seems as if I'm always fighting to get him what he needs. I'm sure you know how that goes!!!

 

[belle&beast]

I am also the parent of a special needs child with multiple needs. As a parent, you must remember that it is your job to ensure that your child is being taken care of. Every child is guaranteed the right to an appropriate education. The regular education teacher and all others involved in your child's education are responsible to provide this. Communication once a week in order for you to ensure that your child is receiving the services that he needs (and that things are going well), is not too much to ask. It is your right as a parent to inquire on how things are going with your child's program. If a weekly 5 minute phone call is too much for a teacher, then maybe that teacher needs to explore another profession. In every class, there will be children with multiple needs. What if your child needed to be tube fed at school or needed asthma medication? Is this also too much to ask because it takes too much time? Remember, as your child's parent, it is your job to advocate for your child. If you don't do it, who will?

Sorry if this comes off as a big hostile, but I had an IEP for my son today and it seems as if I'm always fighting to get him what he needs. I'm sure you know how that goes!!!

I'm sorry you have to fight for his needs. Have you ever looked for a special needs advocate to accompany you to conferences? I am a speech therapist in the schools and I have always had positive experiences with the advocates. They are truly fair to both sides if there is a conflict, and are good at keeping the child's needs first. In my area Insource is the advocacy group, but I don't know if it is national.

 

[irish_trip_mom]

Parent-teacher communication is a regular whether or not No Child Left Behind is in existence. It has nothing to do with that at all. I really hate when people quote it.

It is difficult for teachers to give a weekly report because that adds to the paperwork we have when we rather focus on the kids. Sure, we can do it and it gets done, but it may not be necessary every week. I have had autistic children and have one now and a weekly report is almost redundant.

Keep an open mind. There might be an easier way. Perhaps emailing her every other week?

I guess I should have prefaced this quite a bit. My son has been a student of this teacher for 2.5 years. We have in the past had no problems with communications, but I've seen my son only make progress at home in his ABA setting, but none in school. Actually, when we had services cut this year, this teacher admitted she saw regression in my son this fall. I would welcome even an email every other week, but it doesn't happen either.

I was referring to NCLB because at a special ed legal workshop I went to, it was mentioned that parent communication is protected by NCLB. I'll admit, all I know about NCLB is that a child should be reading at a 3rd grade level by the end of third grade, or you can get a scientific based reading program in place. And all teachers should be "highly qualified" (yet you have no rights to sue if the teacher is not.) I don't know all of NCLB yet, but I am fairly well versed in IDEA 2004 and have effectively advocated for my sons at numerous occassions because I know their rights. The school knows this, and that is why I think this simple request that we'd agreed upon now needs to go to a meeting with the principal. I think they are nervous the teacher may say something to me that will come back to haunt them.

I do realize the time involved, that is why I asked if we could talk for 5 minutes, even when I pick him up. And this isn't an ordinary request, as my son is going through an FBA right now. To be quite honest, his behaviors at school and how the school reacts are hugely disappointing. Yes, he does have a 1:1, who also works as his brother's aba therapist in my home, so I do hear what goes on in the classroom, maybe too much. I hear that the teacher makes inappropriate remarks to and about my son in front of him. I hear that she remarks that he is a complete distraction to all the other spec ed students and (I quote) she doesn't have time to teach him in the method the Autism Resource teacher outlined at our last IEP. (What???) But I want to hear a report from the person who is SUPPOSED to be his teacher, not the college student who works with him as his aide. His communication notebook is rarely filled in, and if it is, it's usually fluff. I told his teacher at our last IEP that I know how my son is and don't need anything sugar coated. I want the truth. I appreciate that she always wants to tell me the positives, but I also want to hear the things we, as a team, need to work on.

Yes, we are consulting with an attorney.

 

[Schmeck]

Be prepared that once the school is contacted by the attorney, all contact with your child's teacher most likely will have to go through many layers of monitoring. You may even be forced to have a school admin. escort you into the school. You will be a very unwelcome person in that school (and in that district) for the length of time your children are in school. Yes, I've seen it happen.

Being a 1:1, I'd also like to point out that the paraprofessional 'crowd' can be a group of a petty, bickering ninnies. They gossip, they plot, they don't always act 'professionally' because they are not considered on the level of a classroom teacher. They are not fully supported, fully trained, or even properly educated in most places I've worked. So, be careful how you handle info from your college student 1:1.

All of this in no way means that you should not do what you think is necessary for your child - just want to give you a 'heads up' from the other side!

 

[MEG&MINNIE]

Be prepared that once the school is contacted by the attorney, all contact with your child's teacher most likely will have to go through many layers of monitoring. You may even be forced to have a school admin. escort you into the school. You will be a very unwelcome person in that school (and in that district) for the length of time your children are in school. Yes, I've seen it happen.

Being a 1:1, I'd also like to point out that the paraprofessional 'crowd' can be a group of a petty, bickering ninnies. They gossip, they plot, they don't always act 'professionally' because they are not considered on the level of a classroom teacher. They are not fully supported, fully trained, or even properly educated in most places I've worked. So, be careful how you handle info from your college student 1:1.

All of this in no way means that you should not do what you think is necessary for your child - just want to give you a 'heads up' from the other side!

Very interesting !

 

[irish_trip_mom]

I was actually torn for the past few weeks on how to handle this information the 1:1 has shared. I realize it puts her in jeopardy, and that it is in their eyes heresay. My first thought was to call a meeting with the principal, or call the head of special ed, but then thought better of it. I basically just asked her to not share anything else with me on this level. It just completely disheartens me to know that this is going on and pains me to send my child to school each day knowing he is in a place where he is not wanted. I have already felt the chill from this school since our last IEP.

I do know, as Pete Wright puts it, to treat this as a marriage with no possibility of divorce. I have another son with autism who is in a private preschool currently on our dime and my hope is that with continued progress, he will be able to continue successfully in the parochial school with his sister. My husband and I have talked and we are prepared to take this to the fullest extent we need to, because we believe that he can succeed with the right instruction. But it's still a fine line to dance around. I am still hoping I hit the Powerball so I can finance the education of my dreams!

I do appreciate the ideas and support of this group.

 

[wvdislover]

That sounds so horrible. Your child should not be made an example of like that in class. We had a terrible year last year with our DD9. Her teacher felt like anything extra she had to do for our daughter was more than she could handle. Every day, I got a verbal report from her of all that my DD had done wrong or had not completed that day. She actually asked me one day, "At what point do they hold her back b/c she can't copy stuff off of the board?" I couldn't even give her an answer, knowing she wouldn't understand that wouldn't happen and why. The worst was when I had other parents telling me that their children felt sorry for my DD b/c the teacher yelled at her so much and made fun of her. I went to the counselor, who I already had a good relationship with and told her. Not much changed, but at least someone knew, and they know I don't want my DD to have that teacher again (a possibility next year, since the teacher changed from 3rd grade to 5th grade). I wish you lots of luck, prayers, and hugs.