Question for those with older Aspies

[worm761]

DS is 15 years old. He was diagnosed 4 years ago. His official diagnosis is ADHD and a diagnosis of either High Functioning Autism or Aspergers. He was diagnosed by a pediatric neuropsychologist. His pediatrician is the one that sent us to get the diagnosis. She was pretty sure that is what we would come back with but said that she could not make the diagnosis herself. She is a fantastic pediatrician. (Used to teach pediatrics).
I guess my question is this....did your child seem to get worse as they grew older? DS just seems to be having more bad days than good. I am not really sure what to do at this point.

 

[bookwormde]

While mine is not at that age I do get to have contact with older aspies.

What I have found is that those who were well supported clinically and educationally and where medications were not used for extended amounts of time do really well and continue to develop and grow.

Those who relied heavily on medicine almost all have major regression and issues at some point.

Those who missed out on social skills and executive function curriculum also have a much harder time transitioning into the post secondary environments.

The other major factor is if they are self aware and highly informed about their genetics and if they have been in environment where they are looked at in balance with the challenges accepted and the gifts celebrated. It really comes down to do they feel good about themselves and being an Aspie. If not they often harbor a high level of hidden anger and resentment, which uses up way to much of their energy.

bookwormde

 

[NotUrsula]

IME, yes. The older we get, the larger the role talking plays in our social lives. Aspies don't tend to stand out so much when the normal thing to do is play legos or have lightsaber battles, but when active play goes away in favor of "hanging out" they often suddenly become much more aware of how different they are, especially boys, who often get hassled on sexual identity grounds at this age.

Also, puberty generally does a number on Aspie boys. The testosterone fuels the touchiness that most of them have and turns it into full-on anger. In addition, the new necessary hygiene rules tend to become another executive function issue -- one that has very high stakes in social terms. DS blows up at us on a regular basis for riding him about shaving and using anti-perspirant frequently enough.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

IME, yes. The older we get, the larger the role talking plays in our social lives. Aspies don't tend to stand out so much when the normal thing to do is play legos or have lightsaber battles, but when active play goes away in favor of "hanging out" they often suddenly become much more aware of how different they are, especially boys, who often get hassled on sexual identity grounds at this age.

Also, puberty generally does a number on Aspie boys. The testosterone fuels the touchiness that most of them have and turns it into full-on anger. In addition, the new necessary hygiene rules tend to become another executive function issue -- one that has very high stakes in social terms. DS blows up at us on a regular basis for riding him about shaving and using anti-perspirant frequently enough.

Yes! Well said.

My DS(almost)16 has improved over the years in some areas, but still lags far behind in others. He's a tall boy and people expect him to be more mature than he is. A younger child can sometimes get away with whining and protesting about the smallest things. People just don't expect such a big boy to say certain things and they're immediately taken aback. For example, I took my son for a haircut last week. He doesn't like the feeling of the white tissue strip around his neck and I forgot to tell the stylist before I went to sit down. When he tried to put it on, my son yelled "Mommy! Tell him not to put that on me!"

We're working on his social skills at restaurants when ordering and asking for drink refills. I want him to order for himself, but I have to prompt him regarding what to say and how to say it. Instead of, "I'll have the chicken strips but don't put the ranch dressing on the plate because it grosses me out and makes me want to puke," he should simply say, "I'll have the chicken strips. Please hold the ranch."

So, in answer to your question, I don't consider him to be getting worse as he gets older. I think it's a matter of his deficiencies becoming more visible because of his size and his age. We just take it one day at a time, and use every situation as opportunity to learn.

 

[clanmcculloch]

My Aspie is 13 and is female so take this for what you will.

So far, I don't know that I can say that she's gotten worse, just that things change over time. She's a 13 year old girl who has developed some typicaly 13 year old attitude and moodiness. Unfortunately, the swinging hormones have causes her to have more difficulty with coping with some of her obsessive compulsive tendencies and sensory issues. She's been perseverating a lot more in general over the past few months. We've had to add new goals to her IEP to help with this. That being said, she seems to be handling general social situations much better and many of her sensory issues aren't interfering as much. Issues wax and wane. As she learns to cope with one thing, something else comes to the surface.

Hormones are brutal. They're hard enough for neuro-typical kids (and us poor parents) to deal with. Add in the issues associated with autism and imagine how hard the hormone swings are on your teen.

 

[2luvmickey]

My DS is almost 20, and he was just diagnosed with Asperger's two years ago (we've been looking for answers since he was 8).

His Asperger's became more pronounced when he hit puberty, but now with a year of college under his belt, we have noticed some maturity

"Unique" challenges or not, our world is moving at a fast pace and it can be trying for anyone. That's why some may seem "worse" as they get older - preparing our children for an adult life is a GIANT worry for us!

My suggestions - continue to teach them how to structure their life (written lists, routines, etc), have a coping skill in place, and an open line of communication. My son made it through his first year away at college with the help of a wonderful Disabilities coordinator and his older brother at the same school. Some professors were terrific and the worst? His Psychology professor - come on, the kid was a walking Psych. book!

Getting through the teenage years is difficult for ANY child! Good luck!

 

[krisnme]

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