Question for those dealing w/Alzheimer relative

[KristiKelly]

My Grandmother was diagnosed about 2-1/2 years ago with Alzheimers, past 6 monthes we can really see a change. She's down to about 85lbs., doesn't remember to eat & her brain doesn't tell her she's hungry.

Last month my grandparents moved out of their house into a 2 bedroom apt. at an assisted living facility. They give them a big lunch (w/ leftovers) everyday, this seems good for her eating, she's getting into a routine & sees everyone else eating - so she eats.

Now for the question part - Since she has moved she cries several times a day and asks when they're going home, she just doesn't relate "this place" to home. She says everyday that she "feels like something bad is going to happen". Does this sound like typical Alzheimers feelings/behavior or could she have depression or anxiety problems? I know that at one time she was taking anti - depres., but don't know if she still is. Should I speak to her Dr., my grandfather won't because she gets really mad at him. I just don't know if this is "normal" or if she also is experiencing some depression.

This is such a hard disease to deal with and I know that we have a long road ahead of us (especially my grandfather) and I would like to know if any of you who have also had to deal with this, had these problems too. Thanks for any help and also for letting me get this off my chest (actually my heart) Thanks.

 

[niks81]

My stepfather's mother has Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed about four years ago and it really didn't get bad until about a year ago. She remembered nothing....her middle son (my uncle) passed away very unexpectedly and she didn't remember that either. She had to put notes all over the house that said "JEFF"S DEAD". It's very hard, very sad, and very tiring.

About six months ago our family had her moved into assisted living. She had pretty much become another person in many ways, and it was the right move. My stepdad went to take her there and it was so weird....it was like for one moment she was her old self....she got really serious, looked him in the eyes, and said, "Are you taking me here and never coming back to bring me home?"

Now, she has adjusted well to the assisted living, but she does get sad sometimes. She'll often wander the halls at night asking where her husband is. The nurses at the center say this is very normal within the first year until they fully adjust. I think your grandmother is still in the early stages of adjustment, but it is very possible that she is going through a bit of depression and anxiety too. You may want to just consult her doctor about it, especially if it is worrying you It is a hard disease to deal with.

 

[Serena]

A friend of mines' mom has this. Some how she didn't feel safe at the nursing home. This is pure speculation but somewhere in her brain recognizes home and what isn't. She also recognized her daugher and me, but barely. It's enough that she will let us push her around the home and not be crying.
At the beginning she was talking and almost making sense, but now she rarely speaks at all.
My friend fought putting her into a home for far too long. She was a danger to herself and others.

This disease is so hard to deal with. Good luck and take care.

 

[LindaR]

The things you have stated are "normal" things that go along with Alz. You do need to talk to the doctor about her depression. You should ALWAYS be informed, ask questions, express your concerns.

It would really help you understand if you went to Alz. support group meetings. Not only do you get the medical information about the various stages and what happens in them, but you have the emotional support for the various emotions that your family will experience.

This disease is harder on the family than the one suffering from it.

 

[wdwnutze]

My dad was just diagnosed with the very beginning of it. He is very overwhelmed with the information and has chosen to say he is on his meds(he calls it his memory pill) to prevent it. It is very hard to think about what is to come. We are spending a lot of time now talking to him about what he wants. WE are also trying to empty out his house so it will be ready to sell when the time comes.

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

It sounds like you are describing my situation, almost to a T. My grandfather is the one with the Alzheimers, and it too has gotten progressively worse over the past few months. He is about 80 lbs, in a wheelchair, which he needs to be tied into (gently) or else he'll literally fall out. He also doesn't eat much. My grandparents have had Meals on Wheels delivered to them, (my grandmother has a lot of health problems) but it was too overwhelming for them and they would never eat it. Instead they would literally take a box of Bugles out of the cupboard and eat that instead.

Before he was in the nursing home he literally begged my aunt to take him home (he WAS home), crying to go home. It was awful. Now he has this thing where he takes off all his clothes in the nursing home, I don't know why he does this. The whole thing is very confusing to me.

I am going next month to see my grandparents (they live in NC) and am pretty nervous about it. I have not yet seen my grandfather in this state. I am trying to prepare myself for the fact that he probably won't recognize me.

I don't think there is "normal" when it comes to Alzheimer's.

Hang in there. I can definately relate. PM me if you need to talk.

 

[Junebugwv]

My FIL's doctor recommended that the family read a book entitled THE 36-HOUR DAY by Nancy L. Mace. It is a family guide for Alzheimers and other dementia- related illnessses. I found it at our local library. I think it was an excellent book and well worth the effort to locate it.

 

[niks81]

My FIL's doctor recommended that the family read a book entitled THE 36-HOUR DAY by Nancy L. Mace.

Thanks for posting that I'm going to send it to my parents.

 

[goofy4tink]

My fil has this dread disease also. He has progresses (for lack of a better word!) quite fast. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 1 1/2 yrs. ago. He has been moved into an assisted living facility. But, he has no problem with being there. He doesn't know everyone. He refers to my mil as 'that woman'!! My mother had a very good friend who has since passed away that suffered with dementia. He was constantly asking to go home. When, at one point, he was actually taken back home, his comment was.."I want to go HOME!! This isn't home." But, this was where he had lived for the last 40 yrs. They really do regress back to infancy. It's a horrible disease. Hugs go out to all of you that have to go through this with loved ones.

 

[Mskanga]

Unfortunately YES it is part of the disease. My mom was just diagnosed a year ago and by the time they found out, the atrophy in her brain was already over 3 years old. Not only that, her vision is also severely impaired.
She recently came with my sister to visit me for two weeks, we thought it would be good for her before she got sicker. What a mistake, I did not really know how bad she was until she got off the plane and did not recognize me at all. I was not ready for that, but the funny thing is she sometimes recognizes me on the phone. She was completely lost in a strange environment, she cried that she wanted to go home , then she kept asking if my sister and I live close to each other, etc etc. She constantly needs assistance, she has forgotten how to do everything, as simple as folding laundry which was always her passion, things had to be just perfect, now she can't even do that.
It was a good thing that my dad got a two week break from her, his health is not great either, and my stepbrother and stepsister want nothing to do with this because she's not their mother, but they won't help their father either.
My grandmother ( her mom ) died of dementia, it all lasted about 5 years from beginning to end, I can only hope that my mom does not agonize the way that she did.
We know that soon my mom will have to go into an assisted living facility, the question remains how long will my dad be able to afford this before their savings disappear.
I hate this disease, my mom is not my mom anymore.

 

[KristiKelly]

Gee, when I posted my original post last night I was fine, now that I'm reading all of your posts, I'm finding myself in tears. I'm really lucky so far, she still knows all of us & my kids. My brother lives in NH & was home briefly over the weekend and she just cried when she saw him (he's her favorite ), I'm glad she got to see him, we don't know what she'll be like for his next visit. She does regress alot & will go to consignment stores and come back with baby dolls & teddy bears and put them on her bed. She still gets around well & walks w/ her best friend (who fortunately moved into the apt. across the hall from them) everyday. It is very hard on my grandfather, who has mini strokes occassionally, I wonder if the stress of her disease sometimes causes these. If something happened to him, I don't think she would live more than 6 monthes. Thank you everyone and I'm going to go look for the book mentioned & call her Dr. to all of us!

Also, look @ my countdown, DH used to say "Why do you love Disney World so much" and I told him that my grandparents took my brother & me to Fl. every year and to Disney World twice, it just reminds me of a time when they were well & happy - my brother & I made my grandmother sick (she didn't actually throw up, but was not the same for a few hours) on the tea cups. We always tell her "We're going to Disney World, we'll ride the teacups for you" she just moans I guess I need to hold on to those memories.

 

[mrsdash]

I lost my father to this horrible disease in November,and yes this is normal. The wanting to go home and crying part will pass. It seems they go through a stage where they feel lost where ever they are,even at home. The dr. did have my dad on zoloft and a mild form of xanax. It seemed to help. I really feel for all of you. It's a long hard road and I am still reeling from it all.{hugs}mrsdash