Question for parents of school-age kids

[paras4ri]

DD is having a party for her 8th birthday next Sunday afternoon. It's a pool party at our local Y. We handed out invitations 2 weeks ago and the response date was today. We still haven't heard from 10 families. I realize this is a tough season for a party but its hard to stomach so many didn't even have the courtesy to call and say their child can't come. We've already told her that next year we'll do something special but no more parties.

 

[Serena]

I've found that most parents do not call. You have to either call them or talk to them in person. Or just have enough for who ever shows up. It's a pain, I know.

 

[browneyes]

Gail, I'd assume they're not going. I'm sure she'll have a lot of fun anyway though.

 

[tiggerlover]

Unfortunately this seems to be the norm lately. Since it is such a large group, I think I would try to contact them to see if they are going. Since it is a busy time of year the date for reply may have escaped them. I would rather know for sure than have unexpected guests show up.

I agree, it is a hard time of year to have a party. My birthday is a little over a week after Christmas and we always ran into problems because of New Years. I always asked my mom if we could celebrate my half year birthday instead, but that never went over too well. And being we are from the northeast, it has a tendancy to blizzard on or near my birthday making traveling difficult, so I always felt a little left out on my own special day.

Anyway.......Happy Birthday to your DD.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree with browneyes and yes this seems to be how it is esp if you don't know the parents.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Most of my DD's invitations come with "Regrets Only" instead of RSVP!!! I have been guilty of it once! I assumed (yes, bad to assume) the party was "regrets" and since DD was going, I did not call. I was embarrassed when the mom called and ask if she was going. I did apologize and told her I thought it was regrets only!!!

I put "regrets only" on all my invites. I just assume (again) all will come unless they call.

I would start calling. Hope it works out and your DD has a wonderful pool party!!!

 

[aprincessmom]

I do regrets only now, too. It's just easier to assume they'll all be there than to fret over whether I'll have enough come party time. I've found the regrets only has been more successful than the plain RSVP. Unfortunately.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I agree with those that say you should call the families that have not responded.

This is one of the gazillion reasons why we have never done big parties for our kids. We have always told them, we will do something special as a family, but no kid party = more gifts or cash to buy what they want.

 

[grinningghost]

My DD is now 13, and I can totally relate to this. There wasn't ONE party where I didn't have that problem. It would be right down to the wire, and nothing. One year I had DD's party at an indoor playground. Up until the date of the party, only 3 out of 10 people responded. So that's what I planned on. Not only did almost everyone show up at the party, they brought brothers and sisters! Completely screwed everything up.

Last year I gave up on the whole party/invitation garbage and we took DD and one friend up to Toronto for the day. It sure beat all the hassles of party giving. You might consider doing something like that in the future - take one good friend out somewhere special. The girls enjoyed it even more than the parties - and there was no cattiness, which we've encountered more than once. Just the two of them having a good time.

 

[paras4ri]

We've already decided no more parties like this....and since it is the holiday season there will be lots of special things she can pick to do in future years.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I would call. DD#2 invited 5 girls from school to her 6th BDay and 3 didn't show up--only 1 of those called. I saw another one at a soccer game later and I said "are you Faith's mother? We were really sorry that Faith didn't show up at Erin's birthday--we thought she would since you didn't call. What happened?" in a "fake nice" way and she was all stammer, uh, well.... I was darn glad to embarrass her. We had a magician, it was DD#2's first party like that, and if we hadn't had a lot of friends and family (and her 2 friends who did show) she would have been miserable. It seems her BDay comes close to spring break most years, and if I schedule her party on one of those weekends so many people here go out of town it is ridiculous.
Robin M.

 

[mouseclick1]

We had a bowling party for younger DS one year, and there was a family who did not call. I assumed they were not coming. Sure enough, they showed up right on time. Ya gotta love kids- my older DS, who was only 8 at the time, says to the mom "Oh, we didn't think you were coming since we never heard from you!" I was kind of embarrassed but glad he said that!

 

[paras4ri]

I have called the families that I have numbers for....but some are unlisted so we'll see what happens on Sunday. We've paid for the facility, not per-person, so we won't be caught short if we have some surprise arrivals.