question for parents of 4 year olds--bedtimes

[disfan07]

I have a question for parents of 4 year olds concerning bedtimes.

A family that I babysit for has a 4 year old twins and they do not go into their room until 9PM. They are usually not asleep until between 10:30 and 11:00. They just have to be in their rooms with lights off at 9 but they can get out of bed and play with toys,etc.

This seems really strange to me.

Ive babysat for 4 other families with 4 year olds before and their bedtimes were between 7:30 and 8PM...that seemed more logical to me.
One of teh other families I sit for has an 8 year old and she goes to bed between 8:30 and 9PM and another family I used to sit for had a 7 and 10 year old who went to bed at 9PM and 9:15PM.

Is it only me, or does a 4 year old not being asleep before 11PM seem odd?

I dont have kids, I only have previous babysitting experience so i was just wondering from parents if bedtimes of 9PM and later are common for 4 year olds?

 

[cbmstephanie]

It seems too late for me, but it probably depends on what time they have to get up in the morning. If they are allowed to sleep in then it would work. I do think if they are sleeping in now they will have to change their bed time when school rolls around.

 

[disfan07]

they wake up between 6 and 7 AM.

The thing is...I think these kids are over tired by the time they get into their room. Too tired to fall asleep. (if you know what I mean).

They can be absolute terrors at night beginning around 7. They are out of control, crying, throwing tantrums and miserable most nights.
They are great during the day....but they dont nap so my feeling has been that they are so tired at night that they just melt down but then by the time bedtime comes, they are so overtired that they are just not going to sleep.

It just seems that 8 hours of sleep a day for 4 year olds seems like not enough

 

[ReneeA]

My kids had a 7:30 or 8 bedtime at 4 years old. My DS has always been a good sleeper and would start asking to go to bed around 7.

 

[emma'smom]

My dd4 starts to go to bed around 8pm (same time as dd7). Official bedtime is 8:30.

 

[ZachnElli]

My 4 year old goes to bed at 9pm, but he goes right to sleep. On a rare occassion he's not tired, I hear him playing, but only for 15 mins or so and he stays in bed (he sleeps with Buzz Lightyear and I hear his lazer, lol). He also doesn't get up until 8:30-9am. He's been sick this week so he slept until almost 10 am this morning. He goes to preschool in the afternoon, but next year when kindergarten starts, he may have to go to bed earlier, like 8pm. We'll see. So I guess my answer is yes, it is unusal for 4 year olds to stay up so late. They sound like they aren't getting enough sleep. Do they nap?

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

My soon to be 4 year old goes to bed at 9 pm. He usually falls asleep right away. He wakes up around 8:30. Some nights I do let him stay up later, he loves to watch the upside down show. It depends on his mood, his activity level for the day and if he took a nap.

 

[Magic Mom]

That wouldn't have worked for my family. At that age the kids went to bed at 7:30 or 8. But they also get up early.

 

[bumbershoot]

they wake up between 6 and 7 AM.

The thing is...I think these kids are over tired by the time they get into their room. Too tired to fall asleep. (if you know what I mean).

They can be absolute terrors at night beginning around 7. They are out of control, crying, throwing tantrums and miserable most nights.
They are great during the day....but they dont nap so my feeling has been that they are so tired at night that they just melt down but then by the time bedtime comes, they are so overtired that they are just not going to sleep.

It just seems that 8 hours of sleep a day for 4 year olds seems like not enough

In that case, it does seem it's too late.

For us, DS has a late bedtime and always has, but he and I also sleep in. He only gets 2 hours with DH on workdays...if I were putting him to bed earlier, it would be way too sad!

But since we sleep in, he gets tons of sleep, despite the late bedtime.

And at least with DS, the stuff you're describing would describe an overtired situation.

 

[disfan07]

No they dont nap.

they are supposed to have "down time" where they just read but they dont sleep. So they are up for 16-17 hours straight. I'm 20, and I'm exhausted after being up for 16 hours...lol

 

[laurie31]

Oh wow - that's much too little sleep.

Mine did stay up late until they started preschool, because it fit with our schedule better, but they still got 12-13 hours of sleep a night. Once they started having to get up at 8, they had to be in bed by 8.

 

[wenrob]

Without reading the other posts and as a mom of 4yr old twins I can tell you this mom is probably picking her battles. I have a 13yr old DD who was unbelievably easy. These two are a whole new ball game so the rules that applied to her can't always apply to them. Not that they are allowed to do whatever they want but there are things that I'm not willing to make myself insane over, kwim? So this may be one of those things that mom decided not to make herself crazy about. They may be taking very long naps to make up for it.

That said I put my two down between 7:30-8:00. DS is a sleeper and may play with toys for a bit but he's usually out by 9pm. DD, that child just does NOT sleep. She will play around and ask to go potty etc. until at least 10pm sometimes 11pm. Naps the same DS will go right down DD will play. I don't fight it too much because she's not a crank during the day. However she is to remain in her room until her brother wakes up.

Hope this helps and gives a little insight.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter went to bed around 10 from the time she was little....she is 10 now and still goes in around 10-1030 during the week and later on the weekends. When she was little if I put her to bed at 8 she would be up at 4am ! Went to sleep at 9 she got up at 5 am! Never slept more than 8 hours a night so on the weekend the later she goes to bed the better....I don't like her in before midnight or I am up before 8am on the weekend!

 

[abdmom]

DS4 1/2 goes to bed at 9- 9:15 and gets up at 8. Bedtime was earlier when he had to get up earlier. If the kids are having tantrums in the early evening, then I would say that they're not getting enough sleep. Tantrums are a sign of being overtired.

 

[2bearsmom]

I have a 4yr old and he is normally asking to go to bed between 7and8pm. 9 is pushing it for him. I know he's ready for bed when he starts acting up, even with my 8yr old. You just know if it's past the time! They are both up at 7 or 8am so no one sleeps in around here. Going to bed later doesn't equal waking up later here either. My 4yr old actually follows the time change as to when he needs to go to bed. Since he was 4mo old actually. Back then he would be ready for bed around 6pm, pushing it until 7 was just not an option and he would sleep until 8am. A few weeks before the time change in the fall is when he starts wanting to go to bed earlier. I am not super strict though on bedtimes, my dh doesn't home until after 9 and doesn't see the kids all day so I will let them stay up until he gets home. There are no toys in their bedrooms so it's not like there's anything to do in there if they didn't want to go to sleep!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

My 4 year old's "official" bedtime is 8 p.m. On Wed. night it's a little later since we are at church till 8. However, my dd needs and cherishes her sleep. A lot of nights she asks to go to bed and is out by 7:30. She has to get up early in the mornings though since she is in preK and dh and I both work. She also takes a nap most days.

 

[clh2]

4-year olds don't know how to tell time...

Of course I would put them to bed at 9:00

 

[busyshrew]

For most normal 4 year olds, 11 to 12 hours of sleep would be the norm. My DD at that age had a bedtime of 6:30pm and woke up at 7:00am. She is 6 and now has a bedtime of 7:15 - 7:30 pm and wakes up at 7:00 am.

I have read dozens of books on children's sleep issues and all of them consistently say the same thing: kids need an early bedtime and they need more sleep than adults.

Your description of the twins' behaviour as being too tired to sleep is bang on. They need to be put to bed BEFORE they show symptoms of tiredness.

The only time in my life I was sleep deprived was the first 4 months after my DD was born - I was beside myself with exhaustion. And cranky!!! I can't imagine what being chronically sleep deprived would do to a child who needs their sleep to grow, not just repair & replenish their bodies.

 

[Tink561]

For us, DS has a late bedtime and always has, but he and I also sleep in. He only gets 2 hours with DH on workdays...if I were putting him to bed earlier, it would be way too sad!

But since we sleep in, he gets tons of sleep, despite the late bedtime.

This is how our schedule works. My dd wouldn't see my dh much at all if she went to bed early. She goes anywhere from 10-11p but she and I sleep late in the mornings. If there is a time when we have to get up early she goes to bed a little earlier.

 

[KirstenB]

Our four yr old goes to bed at 7:30. However, that isn't the point. The point is, a 4 yr old needs at least 11 hrs of sleep total. The important question is how much sleep are they getting overall?