question for Catholics re: marriage

[ICF]

Lots of info on Catholic wedding questions can be found below....

http://www.usccb.org/laity/marriage/marriagefaqs.shtml

 

[jaminmd]

Sorry that this is OT, but it interests me. Does this mean that your wedding guests cannot attend the service if they are not Mormon? Am I understanding that correctly?

No one answered you so I will.

You have to be a temple worthy Mormon to enter the temple, so not even all Mormons can do it. I'm not Mormon but have many neighbors who are.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

It really depends on the priest. Most usually won't do an outside wedding, because it's not in the church and therefore not recognized by the church. Not sure why. I have been Catholic my entire life and this has never made sense to me. The only way they can have a full Catholic mass is for your brother to join the church and become Catholic. A priest will marry them in the church if your brother does not want to become Catholic, but it will be a generic ceremony and not a full mass. Hope this helps! Michelle PS - Catholics are Christians, too. Sorry - this just really annoys me!!

Not true! My DH was born and raised by the most Catholic family you could ever meet. Mass every week, even on vacations they would seek out a church. I am Lutheran-all my life- and we were married in Sts Peter & Paul Church in Detroit-a 200 year old Catholic church, with mass AND communion (for me, too!) We had to go through premarital counseling and I had to sign a paper saying that our children would be baptized Catholic, but I can assure you we were married without my conversion!

ETA: We had been living together for almost a year by the time we took our first class. The priest knew it (not the priest who married us) and let us off the hook for the rest of the classes. Sounds like we had some pretty lenient priests! There has also been a joke that my DMIL made a large donation to the church we were married at-not her regular parish, so maybe it's true!

 

[Dancemom03]

DH is Catholic, and I'm Church of England and we had to get married in a Catholic Church. We had our wedding at Disney, but couldn't get married in the wedding pavillion, it had to be in a Catholic Church to be recognized by the Priest (the Priest is DH's Uncle so I would have thought he could have bent the rules, but he couldn't)

This has been a big question for us since DD20 has always dreamed of marrying in the wedding pavillion. We learned last summer that it might be a problem but were told the wdw wedding coordinators sometimes found ways to work things out. I couldn't imagine an outdoor ceremony would be preferable in the eyes of the church to the wedding pavillion but maybe I was wrong. I know they do the Catholic mass each Sunday at the Poly but I'd think that'd be a huge stretch to call luau cove a church. Not to highjack the thread but if you don't mind me asking, what location did they use for your wedding?

 

[malibuconlee]

Not a debate, we just don't know how this works?
my brother (Christian) is engaged to a Catholic girl. we don't really know much about the religion. they've talked about maybe an outdoor wedding. and she's also mentioned a catholic service. will a catholic priest do an outdoor wedding? or marry them at all since my brother is not catholic?

If they are set on an outdoor wedding they can have it - performed my whomever they choose. Then they can have a blessing (not sure what it is called) in the church so their marriage is recognized by the church. My SIL had to do this as she was waiting for the annulment of her first marriage to come thru. After the birth of their first child and discussions of the baptism the priest pressed for them to do this. They apparently did it on a Thursday night and it was very quick (we weren't there, lived out of state). They still celebrate the day they had their big ceremony.

 

[dawson5]

If they are set on an outdoor wedding they can have it - performed my whomever they choose. Then they can have a blessing (not sure what it is called) in the church so their marriage is recognized by the church. My SIL had to do this as she was waiting for the annulment of her first marriage to come thru. After the birth of their first child and discussions of the baptism the priest pressed for them to do this. They apparently did it on a Thursday night and it was very quick (we weren't there, lived out of state). They still celebrate the day they had their big ceremony.

It's something like sanation or senezio. *I don't know the correct spelling, just remember and trying to spell out phonetically what the priest told me. We were married by a JotP and looked into getting our marriage recognized by the church. It should be close but it's been over 12 years since I spoke with him about this.

 

[DebbieB]

How did you get non-Catholic godparents? I wanted my uncle's wife to be a godmother to one of our sons, she was not allowed because she was not Catholic. I had our two oldest in Ohio, the priest there would not allow it and we had the youngest in Indiana, priest there would not allow it. All were baptized at the same church though, we had to have all the paperwork for their present church in place though.

My brother's first wife was Catholic, we were raised Lutheran. They were married in a full mass in the Catholic Church. When they had their son, they were told they needed 1 Catholic Godparent and 1 could be Non-Catholic as long as they were a practicing Christian and brought a note from their church. They asked me to be Godmother but since I was not a current member of the Lutheran Church and could not get a note, it was not allowed.

 

[talulabelle]

This has been a big question for us since DD20 has always dreamed of marrying in the wedding pavillion. We learned last summer that it might be a problem but were told the wdw wedding coordinators sometimes found ways to work things out. I couldn't imagine an outdoor ceremony would be preferable in the eyes of the church to the wedding pavillion but maybe I was wrong. I know they do the Catholic mass each Sunday at the Poly but I'd think that'd be a huge stretch to call luau cove a church. Not to highjack the thread but if you don't mind me asking, what location did they use for your wedding?

A Catholic Mass CAN be held outside a church (ie: The Poly) but a Catholic Sacrament (ie: marriage, confirmation, first communion, etc) CANNOT be held outside a Catholic Church.

 

[Dancemom03]

A Catholic Mass CAN be held outside a church (ie: The Poly) but a Catholic Sacrament (ie: marriage, confirmation, first communion, etc) CANNOT be held outside a Catholic Church.

That's what I always thought too, but my neice just had a very Catholic wedding - with the Bishop (a relative on her mom's side) in attendance - at the Naval Academy so I'm sure there's some sort of special dispensation for at least a chosen few. Just hoping to figure out how to get it one day when DD decides to marry...

 

[dawson5]

My brother's first wife was Catholic, we were raised Lutheran. They were married in a full mass in the Catholic Church. When they had their son, they were told they needed 1 Catholic Godparent and 1 could be Non-Catholic as long as they were a practicing Christian and brought a note from their church. They asked me to be Godmother but since I was not a current member of the Lutheran Church and could not get a note, it was not allowed.

Sounds like we got the shaft. Dang. She does know that we did want her to be one though. On the paper or not, she has always been there for my kids and loves them all dearly. No more babies for me, no more opportunities for godparents (unless we adopt, but I really don't think so).

 

[JenSop]

You know, it REALLY surprises me how catholic churches around the country are SO different.

DH and I were married in 2001. I was raised catholic, he was baptized catholic, but raised Methodist after his parents divorced.

We had the ceremony in my catholic church. We had the choice of having full mass or not, and we chose not to. (DH would not have been allowed to take communion.)

DH did have to get a certificate showing his baptism records or something like that. But the church was SO easy-going about everything. We were never given any grief about ANYTHING. They just told us which forms to get and what we had to do.

We had to meet with the priest a couple of times. And we did have to do pre-cana. For pre-cana, we chose to do the weekend retreat instead of weekly classes spread out.

I've always gotten the sense that my catholic church was one of the more laid-back, slightly liberal ones around. Which i am very grateful for. I don't attend mass regularly any more, but had I gone to a very strict or conservative church, I probably would have left catholicism a very long time ago. The best part of our ceremony was when the priest talked about Disney World in his homily! He didn't even know we were going there for our honeymoon - it was meant to be!

To the original poster, each church is obviously very different. And there are many incorrect stereotypes about catholics. Just take your time to get informed and don't listen to everything you hear....

 

[mvazul]

Not true! My DH was born and raised by the most Catholic family you could ever meet. Mass every week, even on vacations they would seek out a church. I am Lutheran-all my life- and we were married in Sts Peter & Paul Church in Detroit-a 200 year old Catholic church, with mass AND communion (for me, too!) We had to go through premarital counseling and I had to sign a paper saying that our children would be baptized Catholic, but I can assure you we were married without my conversion!

ETA: We had been living together for almost a year by the time we took our first class. The priest knew it (not the priest who married us) and let us off the hook for the rest of the classes. Sounds like we had some pretty lenient priests! There has also been a joke that my DMIL made a large donation to the church we were married at-not her regular parish, so maybe it's true!

In the church/diocese I grew up in, YES, it most certainly IS true. And, again, as I, and several others, have stated several times now - IT VARIES BY CHURCH/PRIEST/DIOCESE!!! Original poster - they really need to speak to her priest to completely know what the rules are.

 

[sbell111]

This is a perfect example of how different parishes operate. There are priests around here that will do an outside service, heck, we have outside church services a couple times/year too.

NO ONE here has to take 6 months of marriage classes, most go to a day or two long retreat and have a couple meetings with the priest.

You can have a full Mass even if the groom is not Catholic (or the bride for that matter), the non-Catholic just won't be allowed to take Communion.

OP, for your family the only thing you really need to worry about is that in the Catholic Church you typically cannot receive Communion if you are not Catholic and have not gone through the Sacrament of First Communion. You can go up during Communion, cross your arms over your chest and the priest will give you a blessing if you want. Otherwise you can just remain seated in the pew during Communion-not a big deal.

Thanks for posting this, as i was going to post every bit of it.

When my wife and I got married, she was Catholic and I wasn't. I was baptised Mormon as a kid. Because of this, the priest had to fill out a 'disparity of cult' form, but we were allowed to have a full mass.

We kicked around the idea of getting married at WDW, but were told that it would not be possible to have a 'Catholic' wedding there. Instead, we were married in the local cathedral by our priest and the Bishop.

We did not have to have marriage classes. We went to one large meeting/dinner and met with our priest once. We have a relationship with our priest due to Cathy's work in the diocese. That may have resulted in less meetings.

Since we had the full mass, communion was offered to those who were Catholic. I was somewhat surprised that the Bishop gave me communion. I suspect that was based on our prior relationship with him and that he would not normally offer it to a non-Catholic. (Of course, it may have simply been because he was old and had a senior moment, forgetting that I was not, in fact, Catholic.

 

[NAB]

You can tell when someone who has not had their first Communion sacrement takes communion, because they don't hold their hands correctly or repond "Amen" when the eucaristic minister says "The Body of Christ" (we make our hands like a throne to receive a King) etc. Priests (unless they are REALLY OLDSCHOOL) usually still give them Communion, but don't like it. So anyway, long story short, they can definately have a full Mass, just only Catholics would be invited up for Communion.

This confuses me because I am a Catholic for the last 47 years and I have always said Amen after receiving communion. We also now take communion in the hand but never heard of my hands like a throne either.

 

[wdwfan16]

This confuses me because I am a Catholic for the last 47 years and I have always said Amen after receiving communion. We also now take communion in the hand but never heard of my hands like a throne either.

I am Catholic and I never heard the term throne before. Some in our Church still get the Body on their tongue. What does that represent? A diving board? We always say Amen after the Priest says, "Body of Christ", receive and then do the sign of the cross.

 

[beattyfamily]

I've never heard of the term 'throne' either. I'm assuming it's what most do when receiving in the hand?

I bow my head before receiving, and I say Amen and I receive in the mouth...but I only occassionally do the sign of the cross as it's not necessary.

 

[luvmy3]

My brother's first wife was Catholic, we were raised Lutheran. They were married in a full mass in the Catholic Church. When they had their son, they were told they needed 1 Catholic Godparent and 1 could be Non-Catholic as long as they were a practicing Christian and brought a note from their church. They asked me to be Godmother but since I was not a current member of the Lutheran Church and could not get a note, it was not allowed.

My kids (the ones that were baptized) have 1 Catholic and 1 non Catholic Godarent each. The non-Catholic was not required to be a practicing Christian or have to provide any proof. I'm sorry you couldn't be a GParent because of that, it seems pretty unfair.

This confuses me because I am a Catholic for the last 47 years and I have always said Amen after receiving communion. We also now take communion in the hand but never heard of my hands like a throne either.

Were you not taught to hold your hands in a certain way?
I made my First Communion almost 3 decades ago and we were taught the correct placement of the hands, although I don't recall it being referrenced to a throne.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Around here, the biggest rule for a wedding is that you have to give them at least one year's notice.

And I hate to say this, but it's true--it will really help the situation if the Catholic who's getting married is a regular, envelope-giving parishioner.

Congratulations to your brother! If I may suggest something, tell him to request the singing of "Ave Marie" during the ceremony. It's always a crowd-pleaser.

 

[mvazul]

Around here, the biggest rule for a wedding is that you have to give them at least one year's notice.

And I hate to say this, but it's true--it will really help the situation if the Catholic who's getting married is a regular, envelope-giving parishioner.

Congratulations to your brother! If I may suggest something, tell him to request the singing of "Ave Marie" during the ceremony. It's always a crowd-pleaser.

Ave Maria and the Lord's Prayer - two of my absolute favorites!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

In the church/diocese I grew up in, YES, it most certainly IS true. And, again, as I, and several others, have stated several times now - IT VARIES BY CHURCH/PRIEST/DIOCESE!!! Original poster - they really need to speak to her priest to completely know what the rules are.

No need to shout. Here is the way your quote was worded:

It really depends on the priest. Most usually won't do an outside wedding, because it's not in the church and therefore not recognized by the church. Not sure why. I have been Catholic my entire life and this has never made sense to me. The only way they can have a full Catholic mass is for your brother to join the church and become Catholic. A priest will marry them in the church if your brother does not want to become Catholic, but it will be a generic ceremony and not a full mass. Hope this helps! Michelle PS - Catholics are Christians, too. Sorry - this just really annoys me!!

You were using an absolute in this statement, which from the first quote of yours itself states that there are exceptions..so.....your absolute is untrue!