Question for anyone taking Valium or Xanax..

[kimblebee]

My daughter is moving away in November and I am having a really hard time accepting it. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my husband, I’d strongly consider moving to stay close to her.

I know I have to let her go and spread her wings and all that, but I can’t imagine her not being here, walking around with her messy hair and funny pyjamas every morning.

I was a single parent for 11 years so we are as close as close can be.

Anyway, to the point of this thread. I’m considering asking my dr to prescribe something to me, just to take the edge off until she’s gone..and maybe a week or two after she’s gone and I adjust.

My fear is that if I get a prescription from my dr, the new pill will put me in a fog. I don’t want that, I want to remember her remaining time here..I just want to stop crying every second night.

I know counselling would work too, and I’m looking into that, but any place we can afford has a 6-8 week waiting period.

So, if you are on, or have been on some sort of depressant, did you feel like you were in a fog all the time or was it more that you knew what was happening, and it just didn’t really affect you like it normally would?

 

[neverlandsky]

I took Valium short term. A 7 day supply 3x a day. I didn’t want to be in a fog so I took it right before bed and it just helped a lot!

I had a lot on my plate at the time and I tend to lean towards holistic approaches. Yet I was at my wits end in trying to cope with what I had going on. I exercised, ate right, and slept, yet I couldn’t shake what I had going on.

After 7 nights of 1 pill before bed, I felt much better and recycled the rest of the prescription.

 

[nkereina]

I'm curious on others' experiences with these as well, more so from the anxiety perspective rather than the depression perspective. This might be a stupid question, but for those who take it before bed so you aren't in a fog during the day, does it wear off by the time you wake up? I'd like to know whether you wake up feeling groggy, but also if you wake up feeling less anxious? Or does the anxiety only subside during the period the pill is effective?

OP - as someone who is very close with their parents and moved away from home, I feel your pain! It wasn't easy and it was a huge adjustment for us all. But here I am 14 years later, still living away from my home city, and and its life as normal for all of us now. You will get used to it, and remember that after the day she moves, it will get a little easier each day. Best wishes!

 

[Christine]

OP, are you actually experiencing anxiety or just sadness over your daughter leaving?

I am no stranger to Xanax. I always have a handy supply, but mine is purely for when I am feeling extremely panicking or agitated. To the point where I feel shaky and I'm going to jump out of my skin. Also for excessive worrying (which it's probably not the best for).

I realize things work differently on everyone but I don't view Xanax or Valium as a drug that would help with your feeling on this unless you're in a "freak out" mode, then it will help.

Personally, I find Valium to a much better "physical" relaxer and Xanax to work better in the "mind" aspect of things. Valium may relax my muscles but it won't short-circuit the mental panic.

I believe Xanax has a half-life of about 12 hours, which generally means you stop feeling most of it's effects after 6 hours. If you take it before bed and you sleep a good 8 hours, you should feel relatively normal in the morning. If you take a lot, you could feel the effects more in the morning. If you just want to take the edge off, 0.25 mg is a good dose that won't put you in a fog. Anymore than that, unless you are an ultrametabolizer, you will feel. I believe Valium lasts longer.

To be honest, taking Benadryl before bed puts me more in a fog than the Xanax does. Takes awhile for me to shake it also.

 

[JediBonas]

I take xanax for my anxiety and, honestly, I'm not sure I would go with medication off the bat for what you're describing. I only take xanax when I absolutely have to, it can be pretty addicting. If I'm having a panic attack I will take one if I can't get myself under control, it lets my brain relax but causes drowsiness (which for me always makes me feel weird/tired the next day). Also, it doesn't always help, especially if you're having intrusive thoughts.

 

[Kitty 34]

My daughter is moving away in November and I am having a really hard time accepting it. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my husband, I’d strongly consider moving to stay close to her.

I know I have to let her go and spread her wings and all that, but I can’t imagine her not being here, walking around with her messy hair and funny pyjamas every morning.

I was a single parent for 11 years so we are as close as close can be.

Anyway, to the point of this thread. I’m considering asking my dr to prescribe something to me, just to take the edge off until she’s gone..and maybe a week or two after she’s gone and I adjust.

My fear is that if I get a prescription from my dr, the new pill will put me in a fog. I don’t want that, I want to remember her remaining time here..I just want to stop crying every second night.

I know counselling would work too, and I’m looking into that, but any place we can afford has a 6-8 week waiting period.

So, if you are on, or have been on some sort of depressant, did you feel like you were in a fog all the time or was it more that you knew what was happening, and it just didn’t really affect you like it normally would?

Kim, you sound sooooo like me when I knew my youngest son was heading off to the Air Force the first week in November back 2011. We knew for about 7 months and those were the hardest months I swear I've ever lived thru. I cried all the time!!! I was definitely a mess! But I kind of agree with a PP......a lot of what you're dealing with it is just what I called "Mama sadness" and really no drug is going to take that away until you get used to her being gone. Drugs can mask it and for me a couple rum and cokes in the evening took off some of the edge but then ya wake up in the morning and heartache would begin. So I feel your pain and send a 1,000 your way. In this case I truly believe time will make it bearable for you......ya just gotta wait. If you ever want to PM me, feel free.

 

[Domo]

Be aware than the family of these drugs that Xanax and Lorazepam belong to - Benzodiazepines - are very addictive. The guideline is a week of continuous use, no more, or intermittent use at your discretion.

 

[kimblebee]

OP, are you actually experiencing anxiety or just sadness over your daughter leaving?

I am no stranger to Xanax. I always have a handy supply, but mine is purely for when I am feeling extremely panicking or agitated. To the point where I feel shaky and I'm going to jump out of my skin. Also for excessive worrying (which it's probably not the best for).

I realize things work differently on everyone but I don't view Xanax or Valium as a drug that would help with your feeling on this unless you're in a "freak out" mode, then it will help.

Personally, I find Valium to a much better "physical" relaxer and Xanax to work better in the "mind" aspect of things. Valium may relax my muscles but it won't short-circuit the mental panic.

I believe Xanax has a half-life of about 12 hours, which generally means you stop feeling most of it's effects after 6 hours. If you take it before bed and you sleep a good 8 hours, you should feel relatively normal in the morning. If you take a lot, you could feel the effects more in the morning. If you just want to take the edge off, 0.25 mg is a good dose that won't put you in a fog. Anymore than that, unless you are an ultrametabolizer, you will feel. I believe Valium lasts longer.

To be honest, taking Benadryl before bed puts me more in a fog than the Xanax does. Takes awhile for me to shake it also.

No, I’m not having any anxiety, just overwhelming sadness. It’s not even all the time, just when I really focus on it. I can still laugh and joke and carry on all my normal routine.

I guess I just really want to avoid the pain. But, if I ignore it now, it will just be waiting for me later.

Thank you everyone. This place is a zoo sometimes, but most times it really is a place to get advice and support. I’ll avoid medicating myself for now. If things get worse, I’ll just pop a few sleeping pills in the afternoon. They make me groggy lol

 

[Christine]

Op, there was one medication I took for a time. It didn't work so well for anxiety, but it honestly stopped me from ruminating a lot. That was Buspar. It has a pretty low side-effect profile but it will make you feel a little "off" at first.

Again, I don't know exactly what your symptoms are, but there's not a lot out there to dull down those worries without also giving you side effects you don't want.

 

[Christine]

No, I’m not having any anxiety, just overwhelming sadness. It’s not even all the time, just when I really focus on it. I can still laugh and joke and carry on all my normal routine.

I guess I just really want to avoid the pain. But, if I ignore it now, it will just be waiting for me later.

Thank you everyone. This place is a zoo sometimes, but most times it really is a place to get advice and support. I’ll avoid medicating myself for now. If things get worse, I’ll just pop a few sleeping pills in the afternoon. They make me groggy lol

So, yeah, those meds won't really help with the sadness. Sometimes one of the SSRIs or other types of antidepressants will but I'm not sure it's worth starting them (they have other side effects) to get through this, unless it is consuming you.

My coworker is going through the same rough patch as you. Her daughter has decided to move across country to see how she likes it and my coworker/friend is feeling really down and losing sleep over knowing how much they are going to miss her.

 

[kimblebee]

So, yeah, those meds won't really help with the sadness. Sometimes one of the SSRIs or other types of antidepressants will but I'm not sure it's worth starting them (they have other side effects) to get through this, unless it is consuming you.

My coworker is going through the same rough patch as you. Her daughter has decided to move across country to see how she likes it and my coworker/friend is feeling really down and losing sleep over knowing how much they are going to miss her.

It’s not all consuming. I guess I’m just looking for the easy way out. There must be some good in the fact I can recognize it.

 

[Owlpost23]

Can you purchase CBD oil in your state? It might be something you'd like to try.Helps with a boatload of issues and is not addictive.

 

[gillep]

No advice, but as someone who has lived away from her family her entire adult life, big hugs .

 

[2China2009]

I take Ativan every night before bed. I have had a lot of health issues, surgeries etc and I am a single mom to 2 girls. During those times I begged God to please make everything right and not return of cancer. My girls needed their mom for a long time. I went in to see my PCP and was in tears as I was talking about my fears. It will also a time of some deep depression. I take an antidepressant, Ativan and Trazadone at night to sleep for over 10 years now. Yes I am addicted, but lead a normal life and have no issues with getting up at 5am to go to work. Life has been stressful and I am so blessed I was honest with my PCP who whole heartily knows me so well and supports the decisions I make.

 

[DisneyOma]

kimblebee, is there someone you can talk to about the sadness - your doctor, a therapist, minister, etc? Make plans with your daughter to facetime/skype, etc. Plan your first visit out there and put it on your calendar before she goes. I'd try everything else first before resorting to meds. Most times, meds just mask what the problem is. You're not solving the problem, you're just sweeping it under the rug for a time.

I've had Postpartum depression, been diagnosed with clinical depression after a very scary cancer diagnosis, and have a fear of flying. I have lorazepam, but I try everything else in my toolbox before I take one. I have a prescription of 20 tablets that usually expires before I take them all. I had a parent who quickly became addicted to any pain medication. It caused him to give up on trying to beat cancer - he was happy to just sit there in his drug induced fog. That was a heartbreaking, but important lesson for me. Addiction runs on both sides of my family, and my husband's.

 

[kimblebee]

Can you purchase CBD oil in your state? It might be something you'd like to try.Helps with a boatload of issues and is not addictive.

My whole country will be legal in a few weeks lol

I might look into the oil. I have smoked weed before and it’s great but it makes my heart race too much now. Maybe I’ll look for edibles or something.

 

[FergieTCat]

I was on Ativan for 3 months when I was undergoing chemotherapy. I thought it did a great job of relieving anxiety, especially during the last few treatments. I stopped taking it when I finished chemo.

I've also been on Effexor and Welbutrin at different times. Both of them helped me overcome depression and anxiety but I discontinued them when I felt better.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Aww, Kim, I feel your pain! My son moved out last weekend and I had a few kinda sad days, but happy to report, I'm feeling much better now (except when I walk by his room). I can't help but wonder if it's one of those things that you worry about more before it happens than once it actually happens, idk. I worried about it a bit this summer, too. But the actuality of it wasn't too bad. We text daily, send eachother funny things still on our family group text and IG, and talk once in a while. I just had a nice conversation with him this afternoon and he sounded really happy and settled, which made me happy. I know it's not the same as your situation, but it's hard for most of us as parents, I think, when our kids leave home.

To answer your question, I've only taken Ativan (lorazepam) when I was going through chemo, and honestly, it didn't do much for me so I stopped taking it. If I need help sleeping, a tylenol will do it for me. I do give a fair amount of benzos and other medications out in the hospital, though, for those who use them. (They are not offered unless someone requests them.) Quite a few people still take them regularly. Whether that's a good thing or not is highly individual. We also have a lot of patients going through health crises that take them temporarily, usually just to help them relax so they can sleep, and for that, they can be helpful. We primarily use Melatonin in the hospital for sleep now, though. As you know, there is a huge movement right now to decrease addictions, so there is often a pause on the part of prescribers to watch what they're giving out, as they are held accountable.

No, I’m not having any anxiety, just overwhelming sadness. It’s not even all the time, just when I really focus on it. I can still laugh and joke and carry on all my normal routine.

I guess I just really want to avoid the pain. But, if I ignore it now, it will just be waiting for me later.

Thank you everyone. This place is a zoo sometimes, but most times it really is a place to get advice and support. I’ll avoid medicating myself for now. If things get worse, I’ll just pop a few sleeping pills in the afternoon. They make me groggy lol

From the bolded, it sounds like maybe distraction might be helpful for you. Some of the techniques you can use are known as Complementary Therapies. There is a book called The Wellness Book that describes a lot of them, or you can look online. Once you get used to using them, they can be really helpful, not only in this situation, but others that you'll no doubt come across later on with other things. When you're feeling the sadness come on, instead of focusing on it, try switching off to something else. If the something else makes you feel good, the endorphins your body creates and circulates can help you feel better for hours. If you keep it up, it can be a natural way to feel good. I also think that having a support group can be really helpful, i.e. to connect w others who are going through the same thing. I know there are lots of people here who are feeling similar feelings so maybe a support thread here might bring you some comfort.

 

[Domo]

I know people will kill me for recommending it, but I've had great success with older tricyclic antidepressants at very low doses, such as Dosulepin at 25mg. Regular dose is 75mg, so 25mg is quite safe and easy to start and stop at will. It's also sedative, so it will help you sleep. Imipramine is also worthy of thought at low doses and isn't as sedating. Plus these drugs aren't as addictive as benozos.

There are other therapies. Light boxes at this time of year can elevate the mood, as can aromatherapy oils.

Finally, I know it's a bit more drastic, but perfectly safe for more problematic situations, but CES machines can help, which you can get from Fisher Wallace.

 

[Floridaman999]

I think the sedation of the drug will just make your depression worse. If it was anxiety based I could understand the need, but taking these for what you describe seems like a huge step in the wrong direction.