Question about daycare worker employee discipline

[Captain Hindsight]

Ya gotta look at it from the eyes of the kids parent... If that was your kid being dragged down the stairs would you say something? Obviously the OP thought it was too much, and I would be thankful if I was the parents of that kid and there are other eyes looking out for their well being!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

The problem wasn't with the play structure. It's age appropriate for an infant room. The problem was one kid hit another or something and that is when the worker went and dragged him down the stairs.

My husband said I should have said something right then and there but to be honest I was stunned. I was upset about it the whole night.
I doubt very much the parents of the child were notified about what was done with their son.

 

[disfan07]

It depend son the entire situation. It is hard to say without being there.
BUT, draging a child is unacceptable in any situation and you always get doen to the childs level when disciplining

That being said, the whole "____is not happy" with ____ being the employees name, we used to say that all teh time to our kids at daycare when they misbehvaed.
It was basically like, "I'm not very happy with what you did" or "That makes me very sad when you hit your friend" It wasnt yelling but down at their level bu tit was the best way to get them to understand how their actions hurt other people. Even at 18 months old they understand...their receptive language is absolutely outstanding so they understand when you tell them "it makes me very sad when you hit" or it made so and so feel bad when you hit"

But dragging and yelling....unacceptable regardless.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I realize I do not have all the details, but my gut reaction is termination. I could not in good conscious allow my child to ever be watched by someone like that.

If you are going to WORK with children, you cannot treat them that way. (or in any capacity--but as someone entrusted to watch other people's children...never ever ever! One time and you should not be working with children!)

I honestly would be reevaluating if this is the appropriate place for my child.

I only had my oldest in daycare when she was an infant. I went to feed her as I nursed and had returned to work earlier than planned, so we were not fully on bottle yet. There were a few incidents that made me rethink things. None involved my child, but it really made me wonder. They ended up firing an employee to lying to a parent--she lied about a diaper change she documented even though the baby was not changed. (diaper was a free sample). The kid was dry...so the lie was not necessary. Employee was fired.
We left the daycare.

Anyway--grabbing, pulling, yelling....inappropriate! An much worse than lying about a clean diaper. Termination, or I would go elsewhere.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

So at daycare this morning one of the Dads was asked to go into the office to sign an incident report. His little boy is not much older than a year and just started at the daycare a couple of months ago. Maybe 14 months old.

I'm pretty sure it was his son that was pulled and spoken to in the loud devil voice.

I sure would like to know what was written on that incident report!

 

[brockash]

Yesterday I went to pick up my almost one year old from daycare.
While I was speaking to my daughters worker a couple of the young kids were on a play structure. One kid hit another or something.
One of the other workers grabbed the offending kid by the arm and dragged him down the few stairs on this structure. While she was pulling the boy down she was speaking in a VERY raised voice and was saying "what did you do? Look what you did!". It was the tone of voice that you yell at your dog when they poop on the carpet.
After this worker went on to say very loudly to this kid "D____ is NOT happy!", with "D____" being the workers name. In other words she was telling this kid how unhappy she was.

The child is no more than 18 months old.
The worker is new, within the past two weeks and is the infant supervisor.

It was one of those moments where you are shocked and feel so uncomfortable. I spoke to the daycare director this morning and a couple of the workers.

I would like to know what you think is an appropriate disciplinary response to this situation. If you were the daycare director how would you handle this?

I've never worked at a daycare, so I have no idea what their policies are, but I would never think that that was an appropriate/acceptable way to handle it, and it would hurt me so much to think that was going on at a place my child went. The child is 18 months old...it's just crazy.

 

[SeaShelley]

So at daycare this morning one of the Dads was asked to go into the office to sign an incident report. His little boy is not much older than a year and just started at the daycare a couple of months ago. Maybe 14 months old.

I'm pretty sure it was his son that was pulled and spoken to in the loud devil voice.

I sure would like to know what was written on that incident report!

It's NOYB what's on the report....you don't even know for sure if this was in regards to the incident you witnessed. You spoke with the director and explained what you saw. They handled it. If you continue to feel uncomfortable about YOUR child being at this facility, talk with the director again about your feelings or find new day care.

 

[TwinsinCA]

So at daycare this morning one of the Dads was asked to go into the office to sign an incident report. His little boy is not much older than a year and just started at the daycare a couple of months ago. Maybe 14 months old.

I'm pretty sure it was his son that was pulled and spoken to in the loud devil voice.

I sure would like to know what was written on that incident report!

Loud devil voice? Really? I see nothing wrong with what she said, even if she raised her voice. If you sweetly tell a child of that age "oh, that isn't nice. We don't hit our friends." they really don't get it. I am not saying scream at them. But being stern and raising your voice somewhat is appropriate IMO. You cannot reason with a child of that age. And tone does made a difference.

As far as the "dragging", I would have to see it first. If the child is actively harming another, he needs to be removed quickly. And the child might have lost his balance. So I would have to see if before I am willing to agree she did anything worthy of a reprimand.

And FYI -- the incident report might very well have had everything to do with the behavior of the child in the situation (hitting another) than anything to do with the teacher. When children in daycare hurt other children, that should be documented.

Unless I am confusing you with someone else, you seem to have bad luck with your daycare providers.

 

[scrapquitler]

This woman is a new employee at the center and was hired as the infant program supervisor. She is not new to working and not new to life. I estimate her age to be in her late forties. Old enough to know better.

I am hoping the other employees will be keeping a watchful eye and will talk to the director if something else inappropriate occurs. Hopefully this person will be terminated soon.

Well it's a personnel issue, and probably something that the daycare won't be able to officially tell you if she was disciplined or how, but you'll probably eventually hear rumors (but you never know if they are true). Presumably, a daycare has an official policy about how they deal with things like this.

Additionally, daycare employees are mandated reporters, and if this or other incidents rise to the level of abuse/neglect the other employees are required by law to report it to the proper agency in the state.

 

[luvsJack]

At my center, it would have been immediate termination.

You cannot pull or drag a child that way, too many ways to get hurt and it is just is not apporpriate.

I also did not allow yelling or voice raising. It just makes the kids get loud too.

If a child is on a piece of equipment, you take their hand and ask them to come to you and then lift the child down or just let them climb down by themselves.

Then kneel down to their level and say firmly, but quietly "we always play nice with our friends. hitting is not playing nice. come sit with me for a minute so you can remember not to hit." And you let the child sit down and calm down for a minute and then send them on their way. Incident over.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

At my center, it would have been immediate termination.

You cannot pull or drag a child that way, too many ways to get hurt and it is just is not apporpriate.

I also did not allow yelling or voice raising. It just makes the kids get loud too.

If a child is on a piece of equipment, you take their hand and ask them to come to you and then lift the child down or just let them climb down by themselves.

Then kneel down to their level and say firmly, but quietly "we always play nice with our friends. hitting is not playing nice. come sit with me for a minute so you can remember not to hit." And you let the child sit down and calm down for a minute and then send them on their way. Incident over.

Much more appropriate!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Loud devil voice? Really? I see nothing wrong with what she said, even if she raised her voice. If you sweetly tell a child of that age "oh, that isn't nice. We don't hit our friends." they really don't get it. I am not saying scream at them. But being stern and raising your voice somewhat is appropriate IMO. You cannot reason with a child of that age. And tone does made a difference.

As far as the "dragging", I would have to see it first. If the child is actively harming another, he needs to be removed quickly. And the child might have lost his balance. So I would have to see if before I am willing to agree she did anything worthy of a reprimand.

And FYI -- the incident report might very well have had everything to do with the behavior of the child in the situation (hitting another) than anything to do with the teacher. When children in daycare hurt other children, that should be documented.

Unless I am confusing you with someone else, you seem to have bad luck with your daycare providers.

We had a problem with a home daycare provider who bit our daughter when she was 18 months old. That woman was charged with assault cause bodily harm and no longer runs a home daycare and never will.

This current daycare center is the one we took our daughter to after she was assaulted at the home daycare. No issues.

Yes, indicent reports are written when one child injures another etc. I have had to sign my share of them. When stuff like that happens the workers explain to the offender to use their words etc. In 2.5 years I have never heard a child spoken to the way I did the other day and I have never seen a worker be physcially aggressive with a child. Ever. The child did not lose his balance. The other workers on the infant side are upset about this too, it is not just me. My primary worker told me that she heard about it from the other girls and that you NEVER pull a child like that as you could pull their arm out of their socket.

And no, it is not my business what was written on that incident report but I doubt that the parent knows the whole story and that a worker has been reprimanded for it.

It is my business to know that my baby who just started in the program and who is just under a year old will be safe and not pulled by the arm or spoken to the way this child was spoken to. I have a feeling this worker won't be there long and I say "good riddance". If the other workers are concerned about the way she talks to the kids and have told me she is "mean" then what does that say?

I think if any person witnessed what I did you would be upset and concerned about your child as well.

 

[ccgirl]

Yesterday I went to pick up my almost one year old from daycare.
While I was speaking to my daughters worker a couple of the young kids were on a play structure. One kid hit another or something.
One of the other workers grabbed the offending kid by the arm and dragged him down the few stairs on this structure. While she was pulling the boy down she was speaking in a VERY raised voice and was saying "what did you do? Look what you did!". It was the tone of voice that you yell at your dog when they poop on the carpet.
After this worker went on to say very loudly to this kid "D____ is NOT happy!", with "D____" being the workers name. In other words she was telling this kid how unhappy she was.

The child is no more than 18 months old.
The worker is new, within the past two weeks and is the infant supervisor.

It was one of those moments where you are shocked and feel so uncomfortable. I spoke to the daycare director this morning and a couple of the workers.

I would like to know what you think is an appropriate disciplinary response to this situation. If you were the daycare director how would you handle this?

No, it is not appropriate. Nobody is to lay their hand on my child. Honestly, if this is the type of behavior that went on at the daycare I owuld probably be looking for another daycare.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I have been on the list for another daycare for about nine months. The waiting list is about two years long. I can't just pull two kids out of daycare with nowhere to take them. I don't have a job I can quit and I don't have family that are able to provide full time child care. I am sure this worker will be gone soon if she continues to deal with kids the way she does.

If you were the parent of the kid that was treated this way how would you feel if you knew and what would you do about it?

 

[luvsJack]

Loud devil voice? Really? I see nothing wrong with what she said, even if she raised her voice. If you sweetly tell a child of that age "oh, that isn't nice. We don't hit our friends." they really don't get it. I am not saying scream at them. But being stern and raising your voice somewhat is appropriate IMO. You cannot reason with a child of that age. And tone does made a difference.

As far as the "dragging", I would have to see it first. If the child is actively harming another, he needs to be removed quickly. And the child might have lost his balance. So I would have to see if before I am willing to agree she did anything worthy of a reprimand.

And FYI -- the incident report might very well have had everything to do with the behavior of the child in the situation (hitting another) than anything to do with the teacher. When children in daycare hurt other children, that should be documented.

Unless I am confusing you with someone else, you seem to have bad luck with your daycare providers.

Using a stern voice does not equal raising your voice. Raising your voice is not necessary with an 18 month old.

An 18 month old hitting another child is no reason to drag anyone anywhere. If saying something did not stop the hitting, then all she had to do was take hold of his hand and that would stop it. And an 18 month old can easily be removed from a situation with being drug anywhere.

Not sure about this center, but if we had written a full "incident report" every time one child hit another, we would not have had time to supervise the children! Incident reports were more for the biting, hitting someone with a toy and causing a BIG bruise, or some how leaving some mark on the other child that may cause reason to see a dr. Otherwise it was all verbal.

From the description the OP is giving, what this caregiver did was completely inappropriate.

 

[luvsJack]

I have been on the list for another daycare for about nine months. The waiting list is about two years long. I can't just pull two kids out of daycare with nowhere to take them. I don't have a job I can quit and I don't have family that are able to provide full time child care. I am sure this worker will be gone soon if she continues to deal with kids the way she does.

If you were the parent of the kid that was treated this way how would you feel if you knew and what would you do about it?

I would have a meeting with the director and ask that this person not be in charge of my child. I would suggest that she should look for another line of work but of course the parents cannot dictate who is to be or not be fired. I would definitly make the director aware that I am very unhappy and that the employee should at least be written up and it documented in her file.

 

[ccgirl]

I have been on the list for another daycare for about nine months. The waiting list is about two years long. I can't just pull two kids out of daycare with nowhere to take them. I don't have a job I can quit and I don't have family that are able to provide full time child care. I am sure this worker will be gone soon if she continues to deal with kids the way she does.

If you were the parent of the kid that was treated this way how would you feel if you knew and what would you do about it?

If I was the parent of that child I would have that employee terminated or remove my child from the daycare. If she does that in full view of parents what is she doing not in full view? IDK..I would be very..very...concerned!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

If I was the parent of that child I would have that employee terminated or remove my child from the daycare. If she does that in full view of parents what is she doing not in full view? IDK..I would be very..very...concerned!

I have no idea what the parent of the little boy was told. That is one of my concerns. I'm thinking he was told something beyond the usual type of incident report as he was asked to go into the office. I'm probably just going to have to let this one go with that funny feeling in my stomach.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I have been on the list for another daycare for about nine months. The waiting list is about two years long. I can't just pull two kids out of daycare with nowhere to take them. I don't have a job I can quit and I don't have family that are able to provide full time child care. I am sure this worker will be gone soon if she continues to deal with kids the way she does.

If you were the parent of the kid that was treated this way how would you feel if you knew and what would you do about it?

If my child were being abused by ANYONE, I would move heaven and earth to fix it. NO excuses!

I would find an interim daycare. There has got to be more than one. They may not be your optimum choice. But neither is the present situation where they have already mishandled a child, especially if the worker remains.

Of course, I am basing it on what I am interpreting this incident to be, which may be worse than what actually happened.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

If my child were being abused by ANYONE, I would move heaven and earth to fix it. NO excuses!

I would find an interim daycare. There has got to be more than one. They may not be your optimum choice. But neither is the present situation where they have already mishandled a child, especially if the worker remains.

Of course, I am basing it on what I am interpreting this incident to be, which may be worse than what actually happened.

Problem is that the parents are most likely unaware of how their child was treated. I am the only person who witnessed the worker dragging the kid. The other worker in the room had her back to the incident as we were speaking. The worker I was speaking to only heard what was said.