Question about Asperger Meltdowns

[mcraft17]

My dd is 13 with Asperger's, ADHD, and GAD. She goes through cycles where she is doing wonderfully and then times where she is not. Right now is one of those times. She is getting back into a hitting, and scratching phase when she doesn't get her way or is having a meltdown over something. Usually about her interest (Star Wars). Any idea on how to stop this behavior? At 13 she can really hurt, and it is not pleasant. We have tried taking things away but it may upset her at the time but doesn't phase her later. She does feel bad sometimes later and know what she did was wrong but will do it again if upset. I just thought maybe someone else might have dealt with this before.

 

[bookwormde]

Lots of people with Aspergers/HFA experience here.

Typically I have found that things go “down hill” when anxiety rises. This can be from any of a multitude of sources or some combination of several. Typically this includes sensory issues, being socially overwhelmed, and lack of understanding about the neurological differences that come along with having autism genetics and someone expecting or trying to make the person Neurotypical.

Star wars is not an obsession, it is an area of special interest. These often also serve as an escape, which is especially valuable, when anxiety becomes difficult to manage and the skills that the individual has been taught or self acquired are not adequate for the situation.

One thing to remember is that areas of special interest should never be used a punishment or a reward, as this will cause some of the most severe meltdowns and maladaptive behaviors. While the skill of making transitions in and out of these areas of special interest are important like many other areas this must be an intellectually taught skill and must be practiced conscientiously.

Typically once anxiety levels are kept a reasonable levels and alternate skills are well established most physical maladaptive manifestation disappear.

If you have not read Tony Attwood’s “The complete guide to Aspergers” c/2007 which should be available at you local library or from Amazon, reading this and educating yourself is one best things you can do to help your child. Also the more self aware of what it means have autistic genes and the great benefits and challenges that you child can be, the better her self adaptive skills typically become.

bookwormde

 

[mcraft17]

Thank you so much for your resposnse. I have read Tony Atwoods book a while ago. I guess I may need to read it again. Sorry I called it an obsession, I know that it isn't but I forgot what it was called.

 

[bookwormde]

I reread significant portions of Attwood every year since as my perceptions and experience changes, different parts have new meanings, especially after attending his symposium. A lot of clinicians do not understand the difference between an obsession and our children’s special areas of interest so in understanding that you are way ahead of many of them.

You also mention that she has an ADHD diagnosis, since in the vast majority of cases this is not a correct diagnosis since our children can attend for exceptional periods of time “when engaged and interested” and while having atypical behavior (particularly their theatricality), you might want to double check that her executive function differential are being properly accommodated for and supported and that skills are being worked on to help her convert the written/speech linear world to a more visual/non-linear form since this ability is one of the strongest gifts that our children have when properly developed and encouraged. When these EF differentials are not understood and supported often, especially with the most intelligent spectrum individuals, this leads to exceptional frustration and the associated anxiety and it’s manifestations.

bookwormde

 

[carrollchristoph]

As is typical, bookwormde has said all the right things! One additional point:

Tony Attwood comes to the states to give lectures to parents/clinicians every couple of years. This time, he's touring with Temple Grandin, Jed
Baker and Carol Kranowitz. I highly recommend this! Details can be found at www . fhautism . com (take out spaces)

Also, Temple Grandin (one of the speakers at this year's conference) has a nice book that might be interesting to you as a parent of a girl with Aspergers.

Good luck!

 

[McZag]

Could there also be some hormonal issues going on? Does it happen if she is hungry, tired, etc., or is there a pattern?

 

[Schmeck]

I'd offer my Attwood, but I've written all over it to point out his incorrect generalizations and conclusions. I'd take anything written in there with a grain of salt, maybe a shaker-full, as the generalizations are stereotypic and demeaning.

"Area of Special Interest" is a good spin on obsessive behavior. When an object or idea is interfering with improvement in behavior and social interaction, and is being used as an avoidance technique, and is being sought out as an escape from social interactions, then it is an obsession. There is a time and place for all activities, and having only one interest is detrimental to any social growth.

In 10 years, when I retire from my public school position, I'm going to be free of my confidentiality restraint and I'll be able to give some proper examples of how I've had success with my students dealing with obsessive behavior. I've found that they can have many interests and share them properly with other students without getting to the obsession level.

Setting limits on when a certain activity can occur is not punishment. Allowing varying levels of anxiety to occur, and learning how to cope with the anxiety is a good thing. Life is going to throw out a lot of anxious moments - kids can't be kept in a bubble forever. Learning to cope with anxiety in a controlled, safe, loving environment is much better than allowing avoidance behavior to continue.

I agree with the PP, who mentioned puberty, hormones, and all that other lovely teenage girl stuff. It could be that she's just not used to the changes happening in her body right now. Her pediatrician would be able to tell what phase she's in puberty-wise.

Direct consequences for direction actions has worked best for the students I work with. Setting ground rules really helps - "if you hit, you will have to stay in your room, on your bed, until we are sure you have calmed down and you are ready to apologize" would be my first step if it was my child.

It's not easy, I know. It has to be dealt with as an unacceptable behavior no matter the cause though, as you've stated she's getting stronger. What if she lashed out at a smaller child, or someone who didn't know her and struck back?