Queen Bees and Wannabe's - anyone ever read it?

[Anjelica]

It was recommended to me today while at lunch with friends. My daughter just turned 7 so the drama has not really started. She's friends with everyone and is well liked by all her classmates. However, I expect the unnecessary drama to start in a few years and my friend with an 11 year old reminded me of all the drama at that age, etc.

In any event - I was curious if anyone has read it and what your thoughts were on the book? I put a request in for it at a local bookstore (amazon is currently out of stock).

 

[krcit]

I haven't but want to. I have 2 dd's 15 and almost 12. So far they have both stayed out of the 'mean girl' drama but I would still like to read the book.

 

[kristilew]

I've read it, and the next one, Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads. Both are fantastic. I've used many of her ideas in dealing with my own kid, plus in parenting classes I teach. It's a great book.

Two good ones to go along with these, and to give you a fuller picture of what you're up against in the next few years are by Rachel Simmons: Odd Girl Out, and The Curse of the Good Girl.

You may continue to have no problems with your DD - often it has started by early elementary school - but either way, these books give you some great food for thought, some wonderful vocabulary to use when coaching your DD, and some insight into what might be going on with girls around your DD.

Preaching now, feel free to skip: I especially liked and used two concepts from these books. One is the idea that only a few girls are worth calling "friend." Pick another name for everyone else - classmate, associate, etc. That takes a lot of the ouch out of the "you're not my friend unless..." bribe. It also introduces the idea that it is ok not to be friends with everyone, and that real friends are trustworthy. The other concept is to point out when girls are making a power play. A phrase we've used a lot is "do you really want to give her that much power?" It has been far more useful than just telling DD not to get upset or to ignore bad girl behavior.

Good luck!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I've read it, and the next one, Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads. Both are fantastic. I've used many of her ideas in dealing with my own kid, plus in parenting classes I teach. It's a great book.

Two good ones to go along with these, and to give you a fuller picture of what you're up against in the next few years are by Rachel Simmons: Odd Girl Out, and The Curse of the Good Girl.

You may continue to have no problems with your DD - often it has started by early elementary school - but either way, these books give you some great food for thought, some wonderful vocabulary to use when coaching your DD, and some insight into what might be going on with girls around your DD.

Preaching now, feel free to skip: I especially liked and used two concepts from these books. One is the idea that only a few girls are worth calling "friend." Pick another name for everyone else - classmate, associate, etc. That takes a lot of the ouch out of the "you're not my friend unless..." bribe. It also introduces the idea that it is ok not to be friends with everyone, and that real friends are trustworthy. The other concept is to point out when girls are making a power play. A phrase we've used a lot is "do you really want to give her that much power?" It has been far more useful than just telling DD not to get upset or to ignore bad girl behavior.

Good luck!

These books sound great! Thanks for the recommendations. I'm not the OP but I'm definitely going to pick these up. I hate the drama!!!

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I read it when I was in college and loved it. It really is a great read for parents and kids once they reach the age of queen bees.

Another good book for parents to read when their kids approach the college search is The Overachievers. The author is known for writing a controversial book on sororities called Pledged but The Overachievers really opened my eyes when I read it which was after I had already graduated college.

 

[Anjelica]

Thanks for the reviews and other book suggestions. I plan on checking those out after I finish this one. I picked it up late last night at Borders and skimmed it - looks like a very GOOD read.

Thanks again!!!

 

[AFfamily]

Queen Bees was a great book. I read it as my oldest DD was going into 7th grade. Another good one is Yes, Your Teen is Crazy by Michael Bradley. It gave me a lot to think about.

 

[allison443]

You might already know this, but the movie Mean Girls was based on this book. (I guess as much as a fictional movie can be based on a non-fiction book...)

 

[Anjelica]

You might already know this, but the movie Mean Girls was based on this book. (I guess as much as a fictional movie can be based on a non-fiction book...)

I actually didn't know that until recently - I don't recall that much from that movie. I'll need to catch it again sometime.