Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[flyingdumbo127]

Hugs, Bianca and Bernard. What a harder time to need to make such a huge decision. My suggestion is that I would keep it in prayer. My apologies if you have previously shared but has your son (or rest of family previously) been to Okinawa? ITA with Carol's post above. Perhaps you could also go into it for a one semester commitment? That way if need be, your son, especially, would have an easier out? I am not familiar at all with overseas schooling and don't know whether this would even be possible just a thought. Whatever you and your family choose, I pray you rest easier in knowing you did so of course with great care for your son. Feel better, my friend, too!

On a lighter note, may I come over tomorrow to help make (and enjoy ) the chocolate ice cream? I will have to Google Uno Flipz. I know regular Uno can be exhausting at times when the game just never ends! Lol, Dad and I have taken to playing it earlier in the day.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

Hugs, Bianca and Bernard. What a harder time to need to make such a huge decision. My suggestion is that I would keep it in prayer. My apologies if you have previously shared but has your son (or rest of family previously) been to Okinawa? ITA with Carol's post above. Perhaps you could also go into it for a one semester commitment? That way if need be, your son, especially, would have an easier out? I am not familiar at all with overseas schooling and don't know whether this would even be possible just a thought. Whatever you and your family choose, I pray you rest easier in knowing you did so of course with great care for your son. Feel better, my friend, too!

On a lighter note, may I come over tomorrow to help make (and enjoy ) the chocolate ice cream? I will have to Google Uno Flipz. I know regular Uno can be exhausting at times when the game just never ends! Lol, Dad and I have taken to playing it earlier in the day.

This will be my SoIL's 2nd time to Oki. He did a year deployment there when DGS#2 was a baby. DD went to visit a few times (she was not cleared for medical to go with him for the 1st deployment; she was battling PPD and medical said they didn't have services there for her. That's when DGS#2 and DD#2 came to stay with us for 18 months. DGS was 3 months old when SoIL went to training at 29 Palms for 6 months, then SoIL came to visit us for a month, then went to Oki for a year). SoiL speaks some Japanese, has his drivers license there, etc. DS would be going to the American school on base, I think; another thing to look into. Other kids do it all the time, so I know it's possible. I just want to make the best decision for him.

Uno Flipz is like regular Uno, but the cards have 2 sides. A light side (almost regular Uno, with some minor changes) and a dark side (almost like regular Uno, but really not like it). You play back and forth between the two sides, if someone plays a Flipz card.

I

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

@Bianca and Bernard, what a hard decision. You asked for opinions so here is mine. If you trust DD and think it would be good for DS, I think I would let him go. It will be hard whenever he leaves, but he will be back.

I think it may be better for him than staying here, and having to stay isolated. At least there, he will be able to attend school, meet people, maybe find some thing to spark his interest for his future. Here, he will just be able to do virtual school, and I am not thrilled with him staying in his room for another 9 months, kwim?

DD would take good care of him; there is 10 years difference there, so she's a mini-mama to him. LOL His first word was not mama or dada, it was 'sis'. She saw him being born, she helped with his first bath, she even named him. And he has been so happy having her here; he's missed her.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Aww that is so sweet about the bond between your son and daughter, Bianca and Bernard. Thank you for sharing the extra info, and also about Uno Flipz I definitely agree about it not being ideal for him to have to spend even more time cooped up. As I said earlier, take your time, keep this in prayer, and you also take care!

 

[gwynne]

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[Pea-n-Me]

It sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity, B&B. I don’t know much about military life but I would certainly give it some thought and not rush into any decision. Maybe make a list of the pros and cons? How does he feel about it?

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

It sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity, B&B. I don’t know much about military life but I would certainly give it some thought and not rush into any decision. Maybe make a list of the pros and cons? How does he feel about it?

He is on board. He knows being here means at least another 6 months lockdown at home, if not longer. He hasn't seen his friends since March; they do online gaming together, but it's not quite the same. DH and I had a very long talk about it last night; DH thinks it's the right call, simply for the experience. So really, the final decision is up to me. /sigh

He's 16, almost 17 (in October). It's not like his leaving the nest wasn't coming up anyways; but he's my baby, and I am not really emotionally prepared for that. LOL

 

[PollyannaMom]

So...my kid REALLY let me have it yesterday afternoon. Screaming that I'm a horrible mother, he hates me and I don't want him, etc. He says I don't do anything with him, and when I listed all the things we've been doing, it turned into "We don't do anything that I want to do that's my idea!" After about an hour of it I left the room and let him whine to himself until DH got home

Sorry I haven’t answered yet from before. We were kind of off schedule here yesterday. So this post is in three parts:

1. You mentioned geography. My niece and nephew are into that as well, and something we did when I was watching them was a US state project. We put a blank map up on the fridge, and they each got to pick a state each week and color it in. We’d read a book or watch a video, look up what animals lived there (and talk about any people we know there) and sometimes do a craft or try a food from that state.

Their favorite state videos were the Homeschool Pop ones on YouTube, and DLTK is a good geography resource for things you might want to print. Once they knew quite a few states, we also played Stack the States together - which is an app I had on my iPad from years ago when my aunt introduced it to my DS.

They actually absorbed a lot more than I expected, and it served two purposes - structure for me and feeling in charge for them. Because they were choosing the state, they felt like it was their idea, even though it was actually within a framework I set. (That’s a big thing with kids going through this absolutely normal stage!)

2. And it’s the key to the next project as well - activity bags. I was having issues with the twins being bored, but not wanting to do the same thing at the same time. So one day I came up with “Rainy Day in a Bag”. I put a bunch of activities I knew they each liked on slips of paper and threw them into a paper bag. Then we agreed they would take turns drawing out a slip and we’d all do that activity. It was an even bigger hit than I expected, and we did several subsequent ones for other kinds of days. If Josh is able to understand that there are limits to the requests due to safety and cost, you could even have him help you make up some of the slips.

3. Now, I hope this part doesn’t sour you on everything else I wrote, but even though it is completely normal for kids to get mad at you (the whole “If you never hate me, I’m not doing my job” thing is totally real) it is not OK for Josh to yell at you for an hour! It’s certainly not too late to fix the pattern now, but if it continues for too long, I’m afraid that’s how he’ll learn to treat women, and I’m sure you don’t want that.

It may take some soul-searching to find your voice, but I think you need to stand up for your right to civil treatment here. (If you’d like to talk more personally about it, please feel free to PM me.) For now, start with cutting him off and sending him to his room to cool off way before an hour of that behavior. Come up with a phrase that is comfortable to you beforehand, so you can recite it in the heat of the moment. Something like “It’s OK to feel angry, but it is not OK to treat people that way.”

Please know I don’t mean to make you feel worse!! It’s a really stressful time, and you are doing so much so well to help your family through it! I just hate to see a friend mistreated.

 

[PollyannaMom]

He's 16, almost 17 (in October). It's not like his leaving the nest wasn't coming up anyways; but he's my baby, and I am not really emotionally prepared for that. LOL

I’m sorry I have no tips and websites to share for this one! (I’m actually thankful I wasn’t in that position when DS was 16, because I hate big decisions, and would have been a mess.) The closest I came was a school trip to Iceland when he was 18. - He did go, and loved it, but it was only for a week and a half, so it wasn’t nearly so hard on me!

 

[sparkle78]

Have a magical day everyone !
The weather has cooled off to low 80s from high 90s, so I’m looking forward to working in my flower beds today after online church

Last night dinner : honey mustard pork chops, green beans, zucchini and yellow squash, fresh corn on the cob, and Mac n cheese for the kiddos
Followed by ice cream of course. One local place has vanilla custard with Oreo pieces and peanut butter sauce, sounds weird, but good combination

 

[lynxstch]

Have a magical day everyone !
The weather has cooled off to low 80s from high 90s, so I’m looking forward to working in my flower beds today after online church

Last night dinner : honey mustard pork chops, green beans, zucchini and yellow squash, fresh corn on the cob, and Mac n cheese for the kiddos
Followed by ice cream of course. One local place has vanilla custard with Oreo pieces and peanut butter sauce, sounds weird, but good combination

Same with our weasther. It was a refreshing 61 when I got up this morning, and we are only going to 83. I have already done what gardening I needed to get done. Enjoy your Sunday everyone.

 

[Meriweather]

Oh my.....I would love those temps.
Supposed to be 114 today .......it is 91 right now at 6:25

 

[gwynne]

We were out last evening to look for comet neowise. We didn't spot it, but will check the next few nights. Fingers crossed for clear skies.
Online church this morning, and then a bit of organizing in the kitchen. Wishing everyone a lovely day!

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Also wishing everyone a lovely and fun, too, Sunday.

PollyannaMom, hug, and thank you for taking time to offer support to both Josh and a pirateslifeforme! I want to echo what you said that it is perfectly normal for a child to blow off steam at times without thinking about what they are saying, they are simply mad and need to get it out. The anger is directed at whoever simply because that person is right there and the child knows that person is a safe and loving one to them. I don't have children so the closest I have come to anything similar was as a preschool teacher. especially now, it is so hard to deal with anyone being upset and lashing out. It is never okay for anyone to go off on another person period that is simply not okay let alone kind.

One time, this did not always work, but it helped a bit, I had some "special" (older and thicker) crayons for kids who needed to get out whatever negativity they were feeling. They did so on paper. Every so often this also allowed them to share (as they were able and chose) about what was on their paper. I love the rainy day bag idea and how cool on stack the states! A friend of mine with 4 younger kids is as a family choosing one state a day to pray for and also find out about. I don't know whether they are also compiling info and/or writing/emailing/calling anyone in the days state but that could add to the project and make it more personal. Perhaps Josh could ask someone in each state he corresponds with to share something fun about it or a favorite place they have been too, etc. This might inspire his interest to find out amore about the state and places he might like to explore within it post plague! A connection to how your Mom had you send away for state info when you were young, apirateslifeforme, I just realized that.

Please take care everyone and thank you for this safe and kind spot! God Bless You.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Watched online church today. Our final hymn was quite appropriate For the Healing of the Nations. It is certainly what we need.

 

[AuntieMe3]

QOTD: Swimming, hanging out in the water...Do you like being in water? If you do, do you have a preference...pool, lake/river, ocean??

Question inspired by hanging out in our friends pool yesterday from about 3pm until we left at 10:30p. It was sooo nice. They have a shaded area and the pool is slightly heated in the evening(solar heated) so when the weather cooled a little(not much) the water was a little warmer so we didn't get cold. I only got out to go potty...hubby even brought me a hot dog to eat while I was sitting in the little wading area of their pool.

I LOVE being in water...pool, ocean, running creek/river but I'm not a fan of lakes, unless they are kinda clear, which usually they are not...they kinda creep me out.

 

[AuntieMe3]

I agree; it is tougher on the kids than the adults, but the adults are doing most of the whining! (at least in public, lol) DGS wants to play with the other kids at the playground so much, but we don't know them and none of them are wearing masks, so...

We enrolled DS into virtual school today. He is bummed; he wanted to go back for his junior year, but it's not safe for DH. DS understands, of course. He talked to DD#2 and they came up with a plan that I'm not 100% on, but we are considering it. He wants to go to Okinawa with her in November, and finish out his junior/senior year there. DH and I are discussing it, but it takes a lot more than just letting him go and giving her a POA. Since it's a military move overseas, base legal is recommending they are given custody, so they can add him to their dependent list, and get BAH/Tricare for him. I'm torn, because it would be a good opportunity for him, to travel and see other parts of the world, and the schools there would be safer than here (possibly...they have a C19 outbreak on 2 bases there now). But...he's my baby and I'm not sure I'm ok with giving him up totally, kwim? We would be sending them money to cover his expenses...food and clothing and other stuff; and we could still cover his allowance, so he'd have spending money.) Any opinions?

We had pizza last night. We played Monopoly and Uno Flipz (so much fun.....over an hour on just one hand....) and went swimming yesterday.

Took DGS swimming today; DH will take him tomorrow because Mother Nature hates me, so no more pool for me for a few days. We're having green chile chicken tonight for dinner, with the no knead bread I made yesterday, and veggies.

Told DGS we would make chocolate ice cream tomorrow, so have the freezer core freezing right now.

Wow...what an opportunity for your son and what a decision for you to make. Hugs because I'm sure it's not an easy one.

 

[Meriweather]

QOTD: Swimming, hanging out in the water...Do you like being in water? If you do, do you have a preference...pool, lake/river, ocean??

Question inspired by hanging out in our friends pool yesterday from about 3pm until we left at 10:30p. It was sooo nice. They have a shaded area and the pool is slightly heated in the evening(solar heated) so when the weather cooled a little(not much) the water was a little warmer so we didn't get cold. I only got out to go potty...hubby even brought me a hot dog to eat while I was sitting in the little wading area of their pool.

I LOVE being in water...pool, ocean, running creek/river but I'm not a fan of lakes, unless they are kinda clear, which usually they are not...they kinda creep me out.

Not a fan of being in water too much.
Never use pool, except ours at home, don't go in them at hotels.
No lakes
Wading in the ocean is okay.
But beach vacations are not something we like to do.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

QOTD: Swimming, hanging out in the water...Do you like being in water? If you do, do you have a preference...pool, lake/river, ocean??

When I lived in a small town in Northern, CA, I had an pass to the indoor community pool! I enjoyed that so much. As a kid, swimming in an outdoor pool often proved both exercise and freedom from an unhealthy living situation. I'm not sure now with my TMJ more of a consideration, how I would do in an indoor pool especially (probably too humid for me) I'd love to enjoy floating (on a cute floatie ) in an outdoor pool or lazy river. A quiet lake sounds wonderful to picnic and pray by right now! Thanks for our Sunday QOTD, AuntieMe3!

Sunday extra gratitude:

This thread and how God has indeed used it to bring us all together in care and support!
Sweet email and PM's
Being able to help my Dad redo and organize some of his phone/password books

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I'm having an afternoon to myself. We got ourselves to Target and back by 10 a.m. today (I really want to get those "Stressballs" gummy vitamins, but they didn't have them. I bought some Olly stress supplements instead). DH mowed the lawn and Josh asked to watch the Lego Ninjago movie. Then lunch, then DH took Josh to Granna & Granpa's house and I decided to stay home. Having a bag of 94% fat free microwave popcorn and watching "The 1980s: The Decade That Made Us" on NatGeo. Planning to make a "Chicago-style hot dog salad" for dinner tonight. Sounds weird, I know, but the photo looks delish...

https://recipecenter.stopandshop.com/recipes/168138/chicago-style-hot-dog-salad
PollyannaMom, you didn't make me feel worse at all - you have helped me and I appreciate that very much This isn't the first time he's yelled at me, but it's the first time he's done it for an hour. He's already pulled the "I hate you" business, to which I normally reply, "Good, then I'm doing my job" I guess I can be grateful that it took him 4 months of togetherness to get him this angry. And he misses his grandma right now, too. She Duo-called us last night and he looked sad when we hung up. We keep reassuring him that she'll be home for his birthday next month.

I really appreciate the suggestions on what to do with him! I like the rainy day bag idea - kind of similar to the "Places You'll Go" jar that I currently have on the mantel. I have a lot of things that I want to do and he always wants to help - like cooking and baking (of course I do the stove/oven stuff). I'm hoping for some more farm zucchini today so we can make those brownies - although, (I'm not trying to announce this) my birthday is on Thursday and he wants to get me a "fancy" dessert. I don't want too many sweets in the house all at once because DH's birthday is 2 weeks after mine, and Josh's is two weeks after that. I gain a LOT of weight in the next month!

I'm thinking more about the geography thing and one (small) idea that struck me - Josh likes to draw, and he likes flags. We could pick a state, look at it in his book and put it up on the felt puzzle that we got at Target. Then, what I think he would like to do is look up the state flag online, and he can draw his own (and attach it to a straw or popsicle stick or something). He might also like to help me make lists of "things to do" in each state, like a travel bucket list, so that someday when we visit those states, we can do those things. Maybe we can request info from the different states online, instead of writing like I did as a child He loves music; maybe we can look up musicians from each state and find a video on YouTube...I might start with our home state of CT, then do MA and Florida immediately (our "other homes"), and after that we'll pull states out of a hat/bag. I'm totally excited now. I did think about signing him up for that "Little Passports" subscription box, but I've heard from other moms on FB that they mostly just got travel brochures and flyers, that it was a bit disappointing, and we really can't afford to spend that right now.

Bianca and Bernard, that would be quite an experience for your son, but I totally get how you feel about letting him go. I'd be torn, too. What about after high school? I know this isn't the same, but my SIL did a semester of college in London and in her opinion, everyone should do the same thing (not necessarily in London, but abroad in general). I personally would love to see Okinawa - my grandfather did some of his WWII tour there (as well as Iwo Jima), so I heard a lot about it.

Back in February 1988 when I was a mere 13 years old, my mother let me go on a school trip to Europe. 9 days in London, Paris, Lucerne Switzerland, and Heidelberg Germany. I of course was all gung ho, but now that I'm on the other side as a parent, I don't know how she did it. If Josh ever has that opportunity, I'll probably volunteer as a chaperone! I don't think I could let my baby take off to another country on his own (even if he's with a group of adults and friends)!