Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[dazedx3]

Hello,
Thanks for all the concern. I honestly don’t know how I am doing. This is all so hard. I’m tired of trying to act like I’m coping when I’m really just screaming inside. I can’t write anymore right now, I’ll try again soon.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hello,
Thanks for all the concern. I honestly don’t know how I am doing. This is all so hard. I’m tired of trying to act like I’m coping when I’m really just screaming inside. I can’t write anymore right now, I’ll try again soon.

It’s ok. Lots of hugs.



(Sorry so big)

 

[Snowysmom]

@Judique Thank you for the help. The print is back to normal.

@dazedx3 I completely understand. I feel that the face I present to the world is not what I am feeling inside. Some people tell me how well I am doing and I am very honest in telling them I truly am not doing well. Some people get uncomfortable with that but it is what it is. Take care of you.

@flyingdumbo127 I am truly glad that you are thinking about going out and getting a haircut. Things are better and you will see that. I am thinking of you.

I am in the office today. Then I come back to load up my car with nonvaluables for tomorrow. My car is in a locked garage area so things like clothes are OK in my car. Tomorrow after the movers go I will bring the valuables to the car right when I leave for Kenny's. I am very nervous about staying with Kenny as I feel PTSD because of going back to live with him. It is like when I did right after Chris passed. I feel am very angry and very sad about having to do more changes in my life. I feel like my life changed enough when Chris passed. But, I did make a mistake in buying this place and not listening to my heart but to others. Bad me. Hopefully I am on the right path now. I have to think that by the end of the summer I should be settled in the new place. It will be my place regardless as I am not moving again any time soon. My kids would be appalled. They would know Mom lost her mind. Now when I retire, I will look at my options if needed.

Have a good day.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Hello,
Thanks for all the concern. I honestly don’t know how I am doing. This is all so hard. I’m tired of trying to act like I’m coping when I’m really just screaming inside. I can’t write anymore right now, I’ll try again soon.

 

[Judique]

@Judique Thank you for the help. The print is back to normal.

@dazedx3 I completely understand. I feel that the face I present to the world is not what I am feeling inside. Some people tell me how well I am doing and I am very honest in telling them I truly am not doing well. Some people get uncomfortable with that but it is what it is. Take care of you.

@flyingdumbo127 I am truly glad that you are thinking about going out and getting a haircut. Things are better and you will see that. I am thinking of you.

I am in the office today. Then I come back to load up my car with nonvaluables for tomorrow. My car is in a locked garage area so things like clothes are OK in my car. Tomorrow after the movers go I will bring the valuables to the car right when I leave for Kenny's. I am very nervous about staying with Kenny as I feel PTSD because of going back to live with him. It is like when I did right after Chris passed. I feel am very angry and very sad about having to do more changes in my life. I feel like my life changed enough when Chris passed. But, I did make a mistake in buying this place and not listening to my heart but to others. Bad me. Hopefully I am on the right path now. I have to think that by the end of the summer I should be settled in the new place. It will be my place regardless as I am not moving again any time soon. My kids would be appalled. They would know Mom lost her mind. Now when I retire, I will look at my options if needed.

Have a good day.

Speaking from experience, and probably echoing what many others have gone through and are going through, only time will dull the pain and help with the memories.

It's too fresh for both yourself and @dazedx3 We all want things to be better for you, and most of us are faceless friends, from different walks of life.

I absolutely love that you have such wonderful sons! Such a blessing to have those beautiful grandchildren whose lives you can share! And even though one is going through his own pain, he's opened his arms to you. I can tell you not all families are so warm and loving as the family you've raised.

And your new digs - wow! Sounds like heaven to many of us to be able to make such a promising purchase and pick out all new features. Seems like your first condo was just a practice run. You were so lucky to beat the market and get out so quickly.

Chris is so proud of you! Many women would have curled up in a ball and wallowed in self pity, doing nothing as their world caved in. You've supported your sons (mutual), continued your job, bought 2 condos, made 2 or 3 moves, and getting ready to do another into your new place, in maybe a year? Don't tell me you are not STRONG!

The problem is when we suffer the ultimate grief of losing our life partner, we don't want to be strong. We want to be whole again, with the life that was ripped away from us. We are strong but we want to be taken care of, not by just anybody, but by the person we chose to go through life with. We continue to see them in every corner of our lives and we hate them for leaving, miss their love and their constancy and can't imagine a life without them. But our life goes on. In time we gradually form a survival network and we don't forget our partner, we treasure the memories and we take guidance from what we know they would want us to do. In my case it was raise my youngest child to be the wonderful person she is. The good memories don't die.

PS: will share one little thing about my DD's father. He loved the crepe myrtle trees in my yard and the cardinals that flew in and out. They reminded him of his family home where he grew up. So, every time I see a cardinal, I know it is him checking on me. I even named a particularly husky old guy after him. Last year I had to chop my one crepe myrtle to the ground. I already had others but this is the one he loved most. The tree grew back and is so tall again, I have to trim it back several feet again. It's him, reminding me that life goes on. Every time you mention the cardinal, it brings me back and I hear him saying that to see a cardinal brings good luck.

 

[footballmouse]

Happy Thursday or in Cincinnati today is know as Happy Opening Day!!!!!

Finally baseball season starts today! Leaving work about 30 minutes early today so I can be home in time for the game. I'll swing by the chili parlor and get my free coney and watch the game on the TV. I will miss the Opening Day Parade today but at least I'll see the game.

Tonight is garbage night. I should have thought ahead and cleaned the litter boxes last night but I didn't so I'll have to do that tonight.

Dinner last night was a bratwurst and some Colby cheese (real healthy). They had a baked potato bar yesterday at work so I got that and was pretty full so I didn't want much for dinner.

Stayed home and watched Survivor last night. Kinda bummed on who went home but you could see it was going to happen.

Oh well, off to get breakfast. I forgot my hard boiled eggs this morning so now I have to go to the cafeteria and buy breakfast, not happy about that.

Have a great day! And go Reds!

 

[tazdev3225]

Good morning. Chilly start today and only going to about 50.

It will be cold at my grandson's baseball game this afternoon. He played yesterday and his team was crushed but he played well. Wyatt had a Basketball game too. So of course I was at that after the baseball game. Wyatt makes me laugh as he is so into the game. He scored a basket or two so I was happy for him. His team lost by 1 point in the last minute of the game. I get frustrated watching because some of the other teams are so aggressive and they never get called for fouls but our team does the same thing and out comes the whistle. The fouls against the team are what cost them the game.

Ella has TWO volleyball games tomorrow so I am being kept quite busy but I love it.

Hope you all have a great day.

 

[lynxstch]

Good bright sunny morning.

@dazedx3 and @Snowysmom 's to you

Going grocery shopping today. Sister in law has a Drs appt and an MRI so I am going with Summer. She called last night in a talkative mood and said she had to go anyhow, so I might as well go with her. Now I get to ask her all the questions Don won't, lol! And it won't take me 3-4 hours like it does with Sister in Law. I love her, but she's the slowest shopper in the world. She could be in a store every single day and still manage to find a lot more to buy. They eat out half the time, so we can't figure out what's happening to all the food they buy, lol!

Have a great morning.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

@Judiqe. Wow. What wise words! Thank you for sharing.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good Morning

Thank you all again and always for being the kind and supportive friends you are. Truly this thread is such a blessing.

Judique, beautiful wise words that I thank you also for sharing with us.

extra Dazed and Snowysmom. Not even close to the same thing just a tiny bit of similar frustration. I well remember feeling as though people expected me to always be fine since I was who was always turned to. I would also be told based on my childhood how strong I was. That was nice to hear. All I wanted wasn't even necessarily to be heard but to have someone not tell me how they thought I must feel. No one should ever imply they know how either of you feel. I pray myself along with the rest of your Quacker family have been of genuine encouraging support. I believe in both of you and am here for you as well. I truly believe that God is guiding you both toward brighter days. He is with you no matter what. We all care, too.

Dad prayers this morning as he shortly goes to a doctor appointment. Thankfully, at the moment, I think the rain is light. Otherwise all is quiet here. Wishing all of you a good Thursday! I'll check back in later.

 

[AuntieMe3]

@dazedx3 and @Snowysmom

@Judique like Pea said...wow. thank you for sharing....brought tears to my eyes as I cant even imagine losing my love and having to go on without him.

Ok - I have a question about rainy LA , and rainy California in general. As someone from the East Coast, I often hear about the near drought and or drought conditions because there wasn't enough snow pack up in the CA mountains and/or reservoirs that are nearly empty. Now, I realize that California is a large state with many weather areas - but in general is all this rain a good thing for the State/area in terms of water?

As another Californian I can try and answer, as far as I know, it's helped with the drought for now as it's filling reservoirs and helping replenish ground aquaphors. But since we've been in such a severe drought, its not expected to bring us completely out of it. Apparently where we need it the most, the central valley where most of the crops are grown, they doesn't have sufficient water storage so the "extra" water gets wasted somehow. Oh man...I don't think I'm explaining it right at all...lol It all ends up being political somehow. California is just a mess...too much water and snow, disastrous, too little water and snow, still disastrous.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

AuntieMe3, great point. I will just echo that we do need better water storage and drainage as well along many streets out here and leave it at that. I hope it's a little warmer out where you are right now than it is here, too. Stay warm, my friend!

 

[AuntieMe3]

AuntieMe3, great point. I will just echo that we do need better water storage and drainage as well along many streets out here and leave it at that. I hope it's a little warmer out where you are right now than it is here, too. Stay warm, my friend!

40° right now but the wind stopped and blue skies for us so far today, hoping the wind doesn't pick back up again. I am soo ready for summer.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Dad and I are so ready for Summer as well, AuntieMe3! My phone says it's 49 right now. Stay warm and everyone else please do the same

 

[Snowysmom]

@Judique Thank you for the wise words. Like you, I believe Chris is sending the cardinals (and hawks) to check on me and to let me know he is watching over me. It is hard when we were together for so long and so close. People at work today were telling me that. They all knew how we felt about each other and would smile when he would pick me up from work each day. He worked nearby so we would drive together. I do want my old life back but have to find a new one. It is heart breaking. I love your story about the crepe myrtle and the cardinals. He is definitely with you and letting you know that. I truly appreciate your kindness and everyone else's kindnesses too.

Lynn Hope your SIL gets some answers. It is a good thing that you can ask her questions without Don there so you can know how to help her.

I have to do some more moving things around for tomorrow. I am getting up early tomorrow to finish up.

Have a good evening.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Afternoonto all, extra to you Snowysmom as you get ready for tomorrow. Many continuing and of healing to you and Dazed along with Frog, too.

By the continuing extra Mercy and Love of God, Dad had a wonderful doctor report. Thank you all always for your prayers for both of us.

just started. Colder in here, too. Nightshirt time! Wishing each of you a cozy and happy in some way rest of the day.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Page 2 thread save! Wishing all of you a cozy good evening with sweet dreams should I not come back until the morning.

 

[Snowysmom]

Good morning. Packing up my laptop for the move. Doing all my last minute things including going out to get coffee.

Have a good day.

 

[bobbiwoz]

@footballmouse , we can commiserate together that our teams lost their first games.

@Judique , I appreciate what you say and the encouragement you give so very much.

 

[lynxstch]

Good morning. The sun was out, now it's clouded over. Calling for showers. High wind warnings for tomorrow up to 65 mph gusts. I was hoping to start yard work, but that's not going to happen. I got gas yesterday and put the stablizer in it. I have the oil to change in both mowers, and new air filters for both. But I have to be able to get them out of the shed to do it, and I'm not attempting that in high winds.

@Snowysmom You will be closing yet another chapter in your story when you bid goodbye to the condo you were in, and starting another one brand new again. I wish you nothing but happiness.

No plans for the day other than some light cleaning. I have to call Dave and get the estimate for the deck, if he's had time to do it. He was putting up 2 roofs this week the last I knew.

Have a nice day.