PSA - please give up your seat if someone needs it more

[Chuck S]

If the probability of each falling is the same, then I agree with you. But the probability of a toddler falling is generally a lot higher than the mom. Hence - up to her to decide what works best for her family.

Actually, the probablility of an adult with an altered center of gravity is higher, and also does the most damage.

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Actually, the probablility of an adult witn an altered center of gravity is higher, and also does the most damage.

So is your point that because the mom made a different decision I shouldn’t have given up my seat in the first place? How is that not infantilizing the woman by presuming that we know what is best for her? Should i have demanded it back?

I took 16 6th grade Scouts on the NYC subway back in September and at least 5 of them went flying despite repeated warnings to hang on. As a former New Yorker, even on my worst days I’m not that bad.

 

[Chuck S]

So is your point that because the mom made a different decision I shouldn’t have given up my seat in the first place? How is that not infantilizing the woman by presuming that we know what is best for her? Should i have demanded it back?

I took 16 6th grade Scouts on the NYC subway back in September and at least 5 of them went flying despite repeated warnings to hang on. As a former New Yorker, even on my worst days I’m not that bad.

No, but if you gave up your seat for her (which was the polite thing to do) you could have nicely suggested it could be much safer for the baby in the event of a fast stop or quick turn for her to sit instead of her toddler on a crowded bus.

 

[The Mayor]

Ugh. How sad that you feel young healthy women want a seat from an elderly man. It's like the men who feel a woman can't open a door by herself, we are not so weak and needy.

I look at it as being a gentleman! Where you look at it as male chauvinism, I see it as being polite.

 

[elvispursley]

Having been on the new style of buses that are in service at WDW, there are not a lot of poles for toddlers to hang onto as in the older buses. I, too, would’ve seated my toddler as I could reach the upper grab bar/straps. The woman could’ve also sat and had the toddler stand between her legs.

 

[robinb]

LOL. The “invisible disability” argument was the first one on the thread. It happens every time.

Frankly, I think that young people are no longer trained to give up their bus seats to anyone. It’s simply not on their radar anymore. I am a senior auditor at a major university and I attend a university class twice per week. I take the bus to the university and back home. I am in my early 60’s and overweight, so no spring chicken and no fit elder. The bus home is usually packed with students and I have to board a standing room only bus. In the 30 or so rides back home not a single 17-22 year old offered me a seat. Not one. On one ride a seat opened up next to me and a young man blocked me and plopped down into it.

FTR, I don’t expect them to offer a seat and if they did I would probably decline. I’ve been “bus surfing” for probably as long as their parents have been alive and I can hang on just fine. Still, it’s an interesting observation that no one in 30 trips on a full bus over has ever offered a “granny” aged woman a seat. It’s just not baked in anymore to offer seats on busses.

 

[kylenne]

There's a lot of really gross ableism in this thread and I would just kindly ask folk to quit using invisibly disabled people as strawmen and punchlines. I've been that person sitting on the bus that people think is "too young to need it" but I've also passed out on buses before and then people find out what I do and don't actually need. Thankfully not at Disney as I try to avoid taking buses at peak times for this very reason. But it's always scary and humiliating and I shouldn't be punished by judgmental weirdoes who think being babyfaced means I'm totally healthy and just a selfish witch who won't give up a seat to someone more deserving.

 

[Sparrow'sLady]

LOL. The “invisible disability” argument was the first one on the thread. It happens every time.

Frankly, I think that young people are no longer trained to give up their bus seats to anyone. It’s simply not on their radar anymore. I am a senior auditor at a major university and I attend a university class twice per week. I take the bus to the university and back home. I am in my early 60’s and overweight, so no spring chicken and no fit elder. The bus home is usually packed with students and I have to board a standing room only bus. In the 30 or so rides back home not a single 17-22 year old offered me a seat. Not one. On one ride a seat opened up next to me and a young man blocked me and plopped down into it.

FTR, I don’t expect them to offer a seat and if they did I would probably decline. I’ve been “bus surfing” for probably as long as their parents have been alive and I can hang on just fine. Still, it’s an interesting observation that no one in 30 trips on a full bus over has ever offered a “granny” aged woman a seat. It’s just not baked in anymore to offer seats on busses.

Not trying to be argumentative, just legitimately asking....how can you tell when somebody has a disability you cannot see? I am asking because you laughed about it.

I never use it as a crutch, but I live with a neurological disorder that nobody would see when looking at me, other than intermittent tremors. I look fine on the outside, but what I feel inside is a completely different story. I do not use it to my advantage, but when I need to sit, I am sitting. When it is better to stand, I am going to stand. I am not selfish, but I do care about being comfortable and managing pain. My pain level is a disability. Having children is not a disability.

Does everybody fit this? No. In general, Disney has the most entitled people on the planet, so I know that entire bus did not have people with disabilities, but how do we know when that is the case and when it isn't?

 

[robinb]

Not trying to be argumentative, just legitimately asking....how can you tell when somebody has a disability you cannot see? I am asking because you laughed about it.

I never use it as a crutch, but I live with a neurological disorder that nobody would see when looking at me, other than intermittent tremors. I look fine on the outside, but what I feel inside is a completely different story. I do not use it to my advantage, but when I need to sit, I am sitting. When it is better to stand, I am going to stand. I am not selfish, but I do care about being comfortable and managing pain. My pain level is a disability. Having children is not a disability.

Does everybody fit this? No. In general, Disney has the most entitled people on the planet, so I know that entire bus did not have people with disabilities, but how do we know when that is the case and when it isn't?

I laughed because the "invisible disability" is always used to explain why AN ENTIRE BUS won't get up from their seats for someone who obviously needs a seat.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

There's a lot of really gross ableism in this thread and I would just kindly ask folk to quit using invisibly disabled people as strawmen and punchlines. I've been that person sitting on the bus that people think is "too young to need it" but I've also passed out on buses before and then people find out what I do and don't actually need. Thankfully not at Disney as I try to avoid taking buses at peak times for this very reason. But it's always scary and humiliating and I shouldn't be punished by judgmental weirdoes who think being babyfaced means I'm totally healthy and just a selfish witch who won't give up a seat to someone more deserving.

So true.
I have several disabilities that at a glance you wouldn't realize I have.
I have worse than average balance too and vasovagal syncope which having to stand sturdy on the bus with my arms above my head for 10-15 minutes can really start to activate.
Most people aren't paying attention which I wouldn't expect them to but my sister easily notices. So if maybe there's one seat available even if there are parents with toddlers she'll tell me to grab it when we are not close to vertical pole.
If we have to stand and I can hold a pole its much easier on me than the straps.
But still there's been times that I've given up my seat to be kind but I also will never judge people that don't because I know that there's others like me that while they can stand it is more difficult.

 

[Sparrow'sLady]

I laughed because the "invisible disability" is always used to explain why AN ENTIRE BUS won't get up from their seats for someone who obviously needs a seat.

Fair enough

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

LOL. The “invisible disability” argument was the first one on the thread. It happens every time.

Frankly, I think that young people are no longer trained to give up their bus seats to anyone. It’s simply not on their radar anymore. I am a senior auditor at a major university and I attend a university class twice per week. I take the bus to the university and back home. I am in my early 60’s and overweight, so no spring chicken and no fit elder. The bus home is usually packed with students and I have to board a standing room only bus. In the 30 or so rides back home not a single 17-22 year old offered me a seat. Not one. On one ride a seat opened up next to me and a young man blocked me and plopped down into it.

FTR, I don’t expect them to offer a seat and if they did I would probably decline. I’ve been “bus surfing” for probably as long as their parents have been alive and I can hang on just fine. Still, it’s an interesting observation that no one in 30 trips on a full bus over has ever offered a “granny” aged woman a seat. It’s just not baked in anymore to offer seats on busses.

Trained is an interesting adjective, probably part of the problem as in thinking about it in terms of "training" people.

FWIW I find just as much as an issue with your explanation of your experience is focused on young people as you find with people labeling invisible disabilities. To quote you..it happens every time, someone points to youth and says it's an issue with them. We're talking about a Disney bus here, let's keep that in mind, the entire bus isn't filled with 17-22 yr olds

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Does everybody fit this? No. In general, Disney has the most entitled people on the planet, so I know that entire bus did not have people with disabilities, but how do we know when that is the case and when it isn't?

I think this is worth mentioning, I don't think everyone is entitled nor do I think that everyone has invisible disabilities on a Disney bus. But IMO it's hardly worth trying to figure out who is and isn't this or that while using Disney's transportation especially based on the situation the OP described where it's extremely likely the majority of the bus all was in the same situation as each other.

When I made my first comment about people polite I was actually meaning people judging everyone on the bus and getting upset that someone else didn't get up on behalf of someone else. It's far too much angst for what is intended to be a quick pick up of passengers to get from point A to point B on Disney's property. Everyone is just trying to get back to somewhere (or go somewhere if it's earlier on in the day). If you happen to see someone you feel might need the seat sure offer it if you want to, no harm in doing so, but that's as much as I would go into thinking about it.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

I think this is worth mentioning, I don't think everyone is entitled nor do I think that everyone has invisible disabilities on a Disney bus. But IMO it's hardly worth trying to figure out who is and isn't this or that while using Disney's transportation especially based on the situation the OP described where it's extremely likely the majority of the bus all was in the same situation as each other.

When I made my first comment about people polite I was actually meaning people judging everyone on the bus and getting upset that someone else didn't get up on behalf of someone else. It's far too much angst for what is intended to be a quick pick up of passengers to get from point A to point B on Disney's property. Everyone is just trying to get back to somewhere (or go somewhere if it's earlier on in the day). If you happen to see someone you feel might need the seat sure offer it if you want to, no harm in doing so, but that's as much as I would go into thinking about it.

Yeah that's what I'm not getting about the OP's post... Its a woman who is baby wearing and has a young child... There's not much unique about that especially at Disney.
Are we all supposed to immediately stand up for every person we see that has a baby in a carrier or a toddler?
I bet that woman was fully prepared to stand and have her young child hold her or hold something. I mean she likely go to the park on the bus so its not like she had no idea this was a possibility.
Also as PP's have pointed out it was not as useful as it could have been anyways because the woman chose to have her toddler sit when you would have thought she would have sat and then had the toddler stand between her legs and hold onto her and her hold onto the toddler. That would have been more safe and easier for everyone.

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

The lengths that people go to to justify not standing up are pretty amazing. Such a sad commentary about society.

To sense check myself I asked my husband and my 15 year old son if they would stand up if they had a seat and saw a woman with a baby in a front pack and a toddler board the bus. Both looked at my like I was insane and said “that can’t be a serious question. Of course - it’s the right thing to do.”

So stand up if you can, sit if you can’t, and hopefully if you need a little grace in your life there will be someone there who thinks about others and not just themselves.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

So stand up if you can, sit if you can’t,

I see you finally got the point of what others have been telling you.
Instead of wishing someone else would have stood up and judging others for not standing up.

 

[Lumpy1106]

Honest question, not trying to stir the pot; if you are able, and have willingly dedicated the day to walking around the park, how is it that you cannot stand on a bus for 15 minutes to get back to your resort? OPs scenario, the answer would be because the child the lady has, has fallen asleep and she now has to carry him. And no, she can't just leave him in the stroller as she did to get him to the bus.

 

[robinb]

I see you finally got the point of what others have been telling you.
Instead of wishing someone else would have stood up and judging others for not standing up.

Again, we are talking about AN ENTIRE BUS. Are you arguing that an entire bus full of people can't stand up?

 

[Genie+]

This is going to sound like it is coming from way out in left field, but we are a very capitalistic society. It is ingrained in us hard works pays off, you need to put in what you take out, and for sure you’d never want to grow a crop and be forced to share it with your neighbors. Maybe the result of that is reflecting on what one puts in to be where they are. You shouldn’t have something you didn’t rightfully work for and deserve. So subconsciously those young adults or youngish Gen-Boomers feel like they’re reaping their own rewards in that seat on the bus. Don’t expect nothing from nobody and don’t expect any back from me.

 

[Mirabell Rose]

I have 4 youngish adult children. They have all offered their seats on the Disney busses to those with infants, toddlers or preschoolers. They were once that age themselves and needed seats as children that young do not have sufficient ability to stand and hold on. They all have offered their seats to those who appeared to have a disability or who requested a seat because they are grateful for their good health and ability to stand safely on a moving bus. And they have all offered their seats to elderly individuals, because they realize hopefully they will some day be elderly. They learned this from the times we as parents did this and taught them the importance of caring for others who need help. If the person declines the offer, so be it. So I reject this is gone with the times. Caring about others is not time limited.