PSA: please don't comment on my tall child's height (vent)

[whatname]

OP here -

Thanks again for all the replies. I understand the posts about not being overly sensitive about people’s comments. I appreciate those who can empathize with hearing the same comments over and over and the creative ways that people have dealt with them. I can really relate to some of the experiences shared here.

To sum up what I have learned:

Obviously, it is ridiculous to expect people to never comment about anything about another person.

In general, these comments are friendly observations and should be accepted in the spirit in which they are intended.

When considering making a comment, perhaps we should take a moment to think about the comment before we actually speak. (A good policy to have in many situations.) If the comment is about a stand out trait that the person has, we should consider that maybe the person does not want to hear the comment for the thousandth time. Maybe we can think of something else to say. There is nothing wrong with commenting on the trait, maybe we just don’t always need to take the easy way out.

Finally, we should embrace those traits that make each of us unique.

I believe that sums it up. I could be wrong.

 

[Yellowstonetim]

Perfectly said, whatname! Think first. Engage mouth second. Boy I need to remember that sometimes!

You are not wrong. Well, except for that last part where you say you could be wrong. That's wrong.

 

[Miz Diz]

I get you, op. My ds is tall and we get the same comments. He plays soccer and almost every game, at least 1 parent on the opposing team will comment about his height and how he can't be the same age as these kids. Right, as if we would choose to put him with younger kids to play. Most of his friends are at his shoulder.

 

[Momvic5]

I get you, op. My ds is tall and we get the same comments. He plays soccer and almost every game, at least 1 parent on the opposing team will comment about his height and how he can't be the same age as these kids. Right, as if we would choose to put him with younger kids to play. Most of his friends are at his shoulder.

A few years ago, my dd played soccer with a girl who was 6ft tall at 12years old. Today, she is 6'2" at 14!! Our soccer coach had the same problem - someone always questioned her age. His answer was, "just sit back and watch her play - her skill level and body control will give her age away." Yes, she was tall, but her skill was that of the other 12 year olds, and it was very obvious that she was young by her body control - her legs and feet were out of her control.

My ds11 is also tall. He is not as tall as the young lady my dd played with, but he is still taller than all of his 13 year old soccer teammates (he plays up a year). At 11yrs old, he stands at 5'7". He loves being tall and doesn't mind the comments at all.

 

[ceemys]

Just a vent here...My DD is 9 years old and over 5 feet tall. Most of the kids in her class barely reach her shoulder. DD7 is the height of most of the kids in DD9's class, if not taller. The first thing anyone says to them is "Wow! You're tall." This is generally followed by a comment related to playing in basketball.

Yes, we know they are tall. They are also a lot of other things - smart, pretty, funny, kind, etc. No, their ambition in life is not to play basketball. They enjoy basketball, but they also like dancing, piano, singing, arts, crafts, etc.

So, please when you see a tall child, just say hello or ask how they are or what they enjoy. They know they are tall. They may even be somewhat self-conscious about it. I wonder why, considering every adult they meet mentions it. They are kind enough not to comment on your physical characteristics. Please, extend the same courtesy.

Thank you for listening. Sorry for the vent. We were just at an event last night where more than one adult informed my children that they are tall, so I'm a bit cranky. It happens ALL the time. I think people mean well. They just don't realize it happens ALL the time.

My daughter has red curly spiral hair. Not auburn red...orangey red. She gets annoyed and I get annoyed sometimes. We hear it all the time, EVERY time we go to a store. "Oh, I would love a red headed child" "Look at those curls" "My kids had red hair, but they grew out of it" "Does she have a temper along with that red hair?" I have heard it all! but as my 5 y/o was getting sick of it even at age 3, she started getting rude and rolling her eyes. I explained that others are just jealous and she should be proud and OWN it! It is better now and we both just say "thank you" and smile.

They are just jealous and showing a compliment. Just OWN it and politely smile and say "yes, we love our tall children." It won't go away.