Proper funeral and wake attire?

[Jenzebelle]

I went to a wake this week and was horrified to see so many people showing up wearing, jeans & a tee, or sweats. One person had a lanyard of Disney pins on - she was heading out to TDS for a pin swap. Why couldn't she leave them in her car?
And what's with yakking on the cell phone

I know it used to be proper ettiquette to dress nicely for funerals and wakes, as a sign of respect for the deceased and the family. Is this no longer the case? Sure there were lots of people dressed appropriately (I know my mother would still kick my butt if I dared wear jeans to a wake), but there seems to be more and more people dressed like they just came in from doing housework.

 

[d.kurz]

On a cell phone at a wake??? Man, what is the world coming to? Jeans are what I wear everyday. NEVER to a funeral/wake!!!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

I have been to daytime viewings where people come in jeans or work attire. They have just stopped in for a few minutes during their work day to pay their respects.

 

[gepetto]

A dark colored dress or skirt would have been more respectful. I can't imagine wearing Disney things to a wake.

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

I would understand if the person came from work, in their work attire, if they didn't have an opportunity to go home and change. I try to wear black or dark clothing and it's usually something nice, like I would wear to the office. PLEASE turn off the cell phone or keep it outside! The lanyard should have been left in the car or tucked under her shirt. How can people be so direspectful?

 

[JC2]

Jenn, I just wanted to say that I LOVE the picture of your dog! How precious!

I do think talking on a cell phone at a wake is just rude. I understand important calls, but I would think someone would go out to their car to talk on the phone.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Personally, I was thrilled to see people at my dad's funeral wearing any darn thing they wanted.

I could have cared less about what they were wearing.

But to each his own, I guess....
I'd rather see people be respectful to others while they're alive. What they wear to the funeral of their friend or loved one is inconsequential. Totally.

 

[DonnaS]

I agree with HauntedMansionGeek about dress, although I do think there is still proper decorum at a funeral and talking on cell phones in the chapel or wherever would not fit my description of that.

 

[Jenzebelle]

Thanks JC2

rather see people be respectful to others while they're alive. What they wear to the funeral of their friend or loved one is inconsequential. Totally

Yeah well to each his own. I think talking on a cell phone at a wake is pretty darn disrespectful to the living.

 

[aahmom1]

Yeah well to each his own. I think talking on a cell phone at a wake is pretty darn disrespectful to the living.

That is sooooo disrespectful, unreal!

 

[wvjules]

My dad was a biker, so you can imagine some of the outfits we saw!

 

[DonnaS]

To this day I feel really bad that we didn't even think to have a signer at my brother's funeral.

 

[hercamore]

Yes, casual dress seems to be the norm these days everywhere and for every occasion.

I see some real outfits at church on sundays that I can hardly believe too.

Great pixture of Mr. Beagle!. How did you get him to sit so nice?


herc.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

even if you are coming from work I don't see why you can't have something in the car to throw on.
And most cell phones have a vibrate only mode and voice mail.
Most people that are REALLY important know that and know how to use them. The people that can't stop yakking for 30 minutes at a wake just want to prove how important they think they are.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

the cell phone is definitely out of line.

as for dressing for the occasion, I'm in favor of it if at all possible. even if you're coming in causual clothes (as in, stopping at a wake after work or school), you should use some common sense in choosing the casual clothes you're going to wear.

 

[Michelle]

The only time I have seen jeans at a funeral was when the teen-aged daughter of a former employee of mine was killed in a car accident. Some kids came dressed in jeans but that was understandable. And this was just four months after her husband committed suicide.

 

[DonnaS]

When the husband of a co-worker died she told us ahead of time that one of her son-in-laws would be wearing a t-shirt and jeans as that was all he owned and he didn't plan on going out to buy anything else. It didn't bother her enough to keep him from giving a touching reading during the funeral.

To be honest, when my mother died I went out and had to buy a dark dress as I didn't have one. It wasn't a strictly "funereal" dress so I did get other wear out of it (at my dad's funeral a few months later actually).

Jeans don't bother me-- now shorts might bother me, but if there was a heat wave... who knows? I would definitely draw the line at a bathing suit.

Although since DH and I want more of a celebration of our life than a memorial... maybe bathing suits would be in order.

 

[Grog]

Although since DH and I want more of a celebration of our life than a memorial... maybe bathing suits would be in order.

When I go I've already told all my friends to wear whatever they want. Hawaiian shirts, loincloths, hockey masks....won't bother me. It's how they feel about me on the inside that counts, not what they are wearing on the outside.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Keeping in mind that a wake is not the actual funeral, I guess I wouldn't even be bothered that the phone was being used there.
I'm MUCH more bothered seeing dopes talk on the phone while they're driving. (er, while they're TRYING to drive! LOL)

Besides, maybe the phone call was important.....I overheard a woman that sounded like she was just chatting a few years ago. When she got off the phone she broke down in tears and said to the man sitting next to her
"Mom's spirits are really good today! I'm SO glad I was able to talk to her because she's been so sick from her chemo lately."

I felt so bad because I was initially quite annoyed that her chattering was so inappropriately loud. Took me down a notch, that's for sure.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

during my dd's dance recital last weekend, they asked everyone to put their cell phones on vibrate.

one of the dance school employees ran out of the auditorium in the middle of one of the dances -- apparently her phone was vibrating. turns out her dh was calling her to tell her their ds was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital after having been hit in the face with a baseball. (they thought his nose might be broken, but as it turns out he was only bruised, thank goodness.)

no one would say that she shouldn't have taken the call, but she did the right thing by taking it out to the hall.

in the case you described, hanuntedmansionfan, the woman with the cell phone should have taken the call out to the hall. it's not disrespectful to excuse yourself to take an important call. it is disrespectful to take a call in the room where the wake or funeral is actually being conducted. whatever her intentions, she was inconsiderate of the people around her who were there to grieve for the party whose funeral it was.