Prom Dress Question

[asta]

I would like to get opinions on a prom dress issue and know that the posters here on DIS will tell me what they think is the right thing to do. At my daughter's high school you go to prom as a junior and a senior. She is a senior this year and last year I bought her a very expensive ($450) Nicole Miller gown to wear to prom. It is a very beautiful silk/foil print gown. Part of my reasoning in spending so much was that she and her older sister can also wear it to sorority formals in college. The issue at hand is that two of my daughter's classmates have asked to borrow the dress to wear to this years prom. My first response was no. These girls are not as tall as my daughter and I am afraid that the fabric will be damaged if they walk on it and I don't want it to be hemmed. My daughter thinks that it is rude to just say no but I think these girls are taking advantage by even asking. The first girl who asked was an easy no because she isn't even friendly or even nice to my daughter. The second girl is a friend so that is a little harder to say no to. Am I being unreasonable? Do girls borrow each others dresses at other schools?

 

[java]

If you intend on using it again I would not lend it out. Unless you have some kind of "user" agreement.

Plus your daughter can use the old "I can't my Mom won't let me" excuse and still be ok with her friend.

 

[ilovepcot]

You're not being unreasonable. When I was in H.S. I was constantly loaning my clothes to friends. I *never* got them back in the condition they left in and they always promised to be soooo careful. Nope, would not do it.

 

[Sandy V.]

In situations like that, I wouldn't hesitate to let my daughter use me as the fall guy and say, "I'm sorry, but my mother says no to letting anyone borrow the dress." That way, hopefully, your daughter is off the hook with these girls and it becomes your "fault".

No way would I let someone borrow an expensive dress like that!! It sounds lovely, by the way.

 

[dislaney]

That would be a no. My rule of thumb is it only gets loaned out if you don't care if it comes back or not. (Or what condition it might be in when it comes back). Since you do care it would be a no!

 

[JessicaR]

Because your children will be wearing the dress in the future I would say no. Also you have a great point that the girl may drag the hem on the ground and it shouldn't be a consideration to alter the gown.

Yep, you can be the fall guy on this one. I agree with you.

 

[asta]

Thanks for the replies. You would think that I would get used to being the being the fall guy by the time their 18 years old. I just wanted to make sure that I was living alone on a selfish island.

 

[krcit]

No way. I wouldn't lend it either. My rule of thumb is to never lend anything that I would be devastated to not get back.An expensive dress that your dd will wear again? No way. I happily lent out my dd's Communion dress(lot less expensive) b/c I knew my other dd would not be wearing it. I did get it back in perfect condition but would have been ok if something had happened to it.

 

[cheermom1]

I have to say I don't know what I would say. But my dd has borrowed several dresses over the years and have been returned in the same condition as it was borrowed. All the moms have bragged about good she took care of the dress.

I think I would have to look at the person asking and if I think they would return it in the same condition as borrowed...

 

[englishteacha]

I did lend clothes in high school, but in college I lent my senior prom gown to my roommate for a formal...and I never got it back. I asked her about it and she said she had given it back to me. Nope. Didn't happen. Luckily it wasn't expensive and I don't really care, but if I had wanted to wear it again, I couldn't since it's now lost.

 

[ilovejack02]

No no no.. just say no lol!

I lent out all my prom dresses, but I knew I was never going to wear them again.

In your situation, don't feel bad.

 

[Magic Mom]

I My daughter thinks that it is rude to just say no but I think these girls are taking advantage by even asking. The first girl who asked was an easy no because she isn't even friendly or even nice to my daughter. The second girl is a friend so that is a little harder to say no to. Am I being unreasonable? Do girls borrow each others dresses at other schools?

I don't see how you think it's taking advantage just by asking, however if you want to say no, then that's your right. Just have your DD tell them you said no. Then it won't be her being the "bad guy."

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

In this situation my answer would be no, but we have had many dresses passed back and forth during the last 4 years. Does your daughter have other dresses that she could offer to these young ladies to borrow?

 

[asta]

In this situation my answer would be no, but we have had many dresses passed back and forth during the last 4 years. Does your daughter have other dresses that she could offer to these young ladies to borrow?

We do have another dress that I told my daughter to offer. The girls don't want to borrow that dress because it isn't as pretty as her prom dress. I think that I will just be the heavy and say no.

 

[KAMLEM]

I don't think you're being selfish, it's really your decision. Around here the girls always borrow from each other. They start going to proms as freshmen and none of the parents want to buy a new dress every year.

 

[minkydog]

That would be a no. My rule of thumb is it only gets loaned out if you don't care if it comes back or not. (Or what condition it might be in when it comes back). Since you do care it would be a no!

Never lend anything that you care about, period. That's one expensive dress and it sounds lovely. I don't think I'd allow my DD to lend it out either.

My DD16 shares clothes with her friends all the time, mostly shoes, jeans, and Ts. She has a lovely cocktail length party dress she wore in my bro's wedding last year and she plans to wear that to prom. Her best friend is going to wear DDs Homecoming dress. It's very pretty, beaded,etc, and DD got it for a steal--about $45 She likes the dress but if it gets ruined, well, she wouldn't be devastated. A $500 dress ruined? *I* would be devastated!

 

[mjkacmom]

I wouldn't feel comfortable letting my dd borrow a dress that expensive! I'm lending out dd8's irish dancing school dress (paid $250 used) tomorrow night, but only for 10 minutes! Her solo dress cost $1200 (used), and there is no way I'd let someone else wear it.

 

[asta]

I wouldn't feel comfortable letting my dd borrow a dress that expensive! I'm lending out dd8's irish dancing school dress (paid $250 used) tomorrow night, but only for 10 minutes! Her solo dress cost $1200 (used), and there is no way I'd let someone else wear it.

Wow, those are expensive dresses. At least they are used for performances. I question my sanity for paying what I paid for the prom dress.

 

[surfergirl602]

Nope. I wouldn't do it, especially with how much it cost. If it were 100, (maybe...) but no way would I lend it out. What if they spilled punch on it, or got a heel caught on the back? Nope. Just have your dd tell them that her mom said no, so that will take the heat off of her.

 

[Art 1]

No, I would not.