Problem with my son's teacher -- Update post 28

[Marseeya]

My DS 14 is taking a wood shop class and it's the first class in years that he has actually enjoyed and wants to succeed in. (he's bipolar, ADHD, ODD, & has an LD)

He was in tears yesterday because he's been working on this shelf for the past two months and apparently someone came into the classroom and drilled holes in it. When my son took it to the teacher to get it graded, it started to all fall apart and he says that the teacher is grading it based on how it looks AFTER it was tampered with. Then my son wanted to bring the pieces home for whatever reason and the teacher just tossed it in the trash and wouldn't let him touch it. DS was totally indignant and actually got into an argument with him.

Now this part is funny. DS then told him, "I'm going to tell my mom and she'll call you tomorrow and tell you to give it back!" I'm sorry... you have to understand why this is so funny. My DS hates when I get involved in anything relating to the school and typically begs me to stay out of things. Usually because he's in the wrong and he knows it. So this time, he must have a good case of self-righteous anger going on to threaten a teacher with me. It sounds silly, but after all these years of me trying to get him to believe I'm on his side, he's finally asking for my help, and it kind of makes me feel good.

At any rate, I can understand why he's so upset about someone tampering with his project. According to him, nobody in his class could have done it because he doesn't even leave the room to go to the bathroom. He said it's hard to believe someone could have done it without the teacher's knowledge because any time someone starts up a drill, the teacher comes running out of his office.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I left a voice mail with the teacher to see what's going on, but I don't have a lot of hope he'll get back to me. I'd so hoped once DS got into high school, I wouldn't have to have a lot of involvement, but it's not turning out that way.

 

[kilee]

I hope it works out for you. If your DS's teacher doesn't get back to you then I'd go to the principal. Mostly because I think the teacher owes you the respect to return your call. I would find it very rude and unprofessional if he didn't return the call.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

Man, sorry to hear that. Your DS must be really upset over this. I think it may have happened in another class.

 

[Marseeya]

I hope it works out for you. If your DS's teacher doesn't get back to you then I'd go to the principal. Mostly because I think the teacher owes you the respect to return your call. I would find it very rude and unprofessional if he didn't return the call.

I agree. I didn't give him any reason on the voice mail to think I'd be unreasonable or oppositional, so hopefully he'll call and let me hear his side of the story.

 

[Marseeya]

Man, sorry to hear that. Your DS must be really upset over this. I think it may have happened in another class.

I feel bad for him too! The first project he worked on broke too, but that was his fault because he split the wood. He was really disappointed about it, and I could tell it looked fantastic before it split.

DH and I are worried that he's going to get frustrated with this class and not want to take it any farther.

 

[luvflorida]

He was in tears yesterday because he's been working on this shelf for the past two months and apparently someone came into the classroom and drilled holes in it. When my son took it to the teacher to get it graded, it started to all fall apart and he says that the teacher is grading it based on how it looks AFTER it was tampered with. Then my son wanted to bring the pieces home for whatever reason and the teacher just tossed it in the trash and wouldn't let him touch it.

This part almost has ME in tears! I can just imagine your son's frustration and I can understand him wanting to bring the pieces home. It sounds like the teacher wasn't really listening to your son and was being a bit insensitive.

High school or not, there are times when our kids need someone to intervene for them. I would most certainly contact the teacher and hear his side of the story. I'm a big believer in advocating for our own children and if I ever think one of them needs support or help in any way, I'm there.

for your son.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

If the shelf was obviously vandalized, why would the teacher grade him on that? I would be so flipping mad!

I hope you ream the teacher a new one, and your son atthe very least can get the supplies to start over, even at hime. Poor kid.

 

[golfgal]

I hope before you ream the teacher you listen to his side of the story first. In all likelihood your DS is telling the truth but there may be more to the story then your DS is telling you. Now I am not saying this happened but using it as an example, what if your DH ruined someone else's project and the kid retaliated? You don't have the whole story yet. Now, if the teacher did do exactly what your DS said, then I would march, with the teacher, down to the principal, explain the situation to the principal and go from there.

 

[Captain Brain]

I never have understood why people do that.

In my Wood Shop class,we are doing a bookshelf too.

 

[CheshireVal]

I agree. I didn't give him any reason on the voice mail to think I'd be unreasonable or oppositional, so hopefully he'll call and let me hear his side of the story.

Well, the fact that your son threatened that you'd be calling on his behalf... that would make me not want to return the phone call right there!

I agree with another poster who said there may be more to the story, though.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

I hope it works out for you. If your DS's teacher doesn't get back to you then I'd go to the principal. Mostly because I think the teacher owes you the respect to return your call. I would find it very rude and unprofessional if he didn't return the call.

i agree with this
the teacher should call you back just because you called. It should nto matter whether they wanna deal with this or not.

 

[Marseeya]

I hope before you ream the teacher you listen to his side of the story first. In all likelihood your DS is telling the truth but there may be more to the story then your DS is telling you. Now I am not saying this happened but using it as an example, what if your DH ruined someone else's project and the kid retaliated? You don't have the whole story yet. Now, if the teacher did do exactly what your DS said, then I would march, with the teacher, down to the principal, explain the situation to the principal and go from there.

Where in my post did you get the impression I'd be reaming anybody out? I just want to talk to the teacher to get to the bottom of it and find out why my son is so upset. When I left a message with him, I was pretty neutral on the phone, so I hope he got that from my tone.

Believe me, I'm not one of those parents who thinks their kids can do no wrong. I've had to have a lot of involvement with his schools over the years, from pre-school until now, and I've had great relationships with the teachers and adminstration, except the middle school (in which case, NO parent had a good relationship with them).

I'm still cracking up that he threatened a teacher with me. It's usually the other way around with the teachers saying, "I'm going to call your mother!"

 

[Marseeya]

Well, the fact that your son threatened that you'd be calling on his behalf... that would make me not want to return the phone call right there!

I agree with another poster who said there may be more to the story, though.

This teacher seems to be pretty young, too. But at any rate, I'd think he'd rather talk to me on the phone than want me to have to go over his head.

That has actually happened before. My son was having a problem with one of his teachers in middle school (DS's fault in that case), and I kept leaving messages with this teacher who wouldn't call me back at all. I finally had to meet with him in the principal's office and his explanation was that he wanted it that way. I replied to him, "I wouldn't think most teachers would want a parent going over their heads!" and the principal was in agreement. What was worse, the teacher was someone I'd gone to high school with and I always thought we were on good terms!

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I hope everything turns out ok for your son. That shop teacher needs to be put back in his place. What would it had mattered to him if your son brought home the pieces? Don't let him get away with treating your son like this.

My brother had a similar problem with a shop teaching in middle school. The teacher would always grade my brother on how the final product looked and not on how hard he worked on it and if he listened to instructions and everything. My brother has ADD and has problems with small motor skills. The shop teacher was told of this and he still didn't care. He began to pay a little bit more attention when my mother spoke with him. Good idea, because I wouldn't have messed with her then. She was finishing her black belt in tae kwon do and has a pretty short fuse.

 

[sharbear]

I hope that the teacher calls you back and there is resolution with this issue.

I contacted one of my DD's teachers and he called me right back. I am very satisfied with the end result and the teacher's involvement.

 

[ckay87]

You know, I am learning that teachers can be real jerks to teenage boys. Your post made me mad for your son. He could have been treated with some respect - that's the part that gets me.

 

[Tink33]

Does the teacher or school have email? I would let the teacher know how much your son enjoys the class and the work that he put into the project.

If you paid for the supplies, would the teacher let your son re-do the project?

 

[simba928]

I'm sorry for your son. That teacher sounds like one of my woodshop teachers in middle school would have done. He was one crazy man. He carried around this cane (yes, carried it, not used it). He used that I think to scare us because he would hit it off the table in class all the time. We made a clock and he gave me an A on it just because he thought he knew my grandfather (it was really my grandfather's brother, but Oh well, I got an A ) That teacher really was crazy. He called me immature because the day after I got back from WDW, I wore my Minnie ears because I was in withdrawal. LOL. He told me that next year, I am going to the high school and I needed to grow up and become more mature. I just laughed at him.

BTW, where in Pennsylvania are you if you don't mind me asking?

 

[POB14]

That teacher really was crazy. He called me immature because the day after I got back from WDW, I wore my Minnie ears because I was in withdrawal. LOL.

Uh . . . yeah . . . not immature at all . . . .

Anyway, my shop teacher was nuts too. I think it's the sawdust.

 

[sweet angel]

I have no advice for you, but I hope things work out for your son. My son is also 14 and also in woodshop, and also really enjoying it. Except for another boy or two who keep doing stuff to his project, punching him, etc. The teacher seems to think they're just playing. I called the school once, but my son doesn't want me to anymore. Meanwhile, he's 6'3" -- head and shoulders above these punks...