Problem with girl and my 15yo son (Long)

[Kirby]

I would use it as an oppurtunity for you and your DH to have an open talk with DS (possibly AGAIN) about Sex. I'd tell him, in general, what TYPE of girl would write these things. I think at 15 you have probably already taught him the majority of the skills, morals and values to deal with this sort of thing. You have an oppurtunity to drive it home one more time.

Definately! I've had many very graphic conversations with my son who is now 20 over the years. And have had many with my daughter who is 17.

 

[HollyJoy]

I say let your son handle it. He seemed to be very open with you about it, and said he isn't interested. Maybe let him know that if he ever feels as though he needs help w/the situation, to let you know. Use this opportunity to have a good talk with him!

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't think it is sexual harassment if it is consentual.

It must be non-consentual and it must be ongoing... more than one note.

Unfortunately there are two truths here.
1. Teenagers seem to use this kind of language a LOT.
2. The son may not be completely innocent.

If my son swore that he had told this girl to lay off, and if she then 'continued' the unwanted advances (which are then haraassment) THEN I very much would advise the mother to do something. ( until then she would just be the meddling overbearing mother )

I would help my son come up with just exactly how to handle this kind of unwanted attention.. ( ie: publicly and purposefully tearing up and throwing the next note in the trash without even reading it... which is in effect an immediate public rejection.)

Let's face it, if he continues to accept these notes, then it is consentual... he is a willing accomplice... It's not like she is holding a gun to his head and forcing these on him.

To be honest, I do agree with the few recent posters who have said that I think there is a reason that this note was still in his pocket.

 

[CraftyMouse]

To be honest, I do agree with the few recent posters who have said that I think there is a reason that this note was still in his pocket.

I agree completely. Plus, keep in mind that he didn't bring this to your attention, you found the notes when doing the laundry. When confronted with them I'm sure most 15yo boys would react the way your son did. I'm not saying that he is a willing participant, but I do think you have to consider that a possibility.

 

[ilovejack02]

go with number 1. Please know that your son isnt the only one getting notes like that. Seems as if this is something the kids do these days. My ds18 had a friend who started a new school.. very expensive private school and he was hit in the first week with notes like this! His mom just let him handle it and didnt try to save the day. I know my oldest has also gotten emails like that.
Ps i would use this as a learning tool, talk about sex, STDS!!!! Types of girls he wants to date and how disrespectful it is to write a note like that to a girl.

 

[my4kids]

go with number 1. Please know that your son isnt the only one getting notes like that. Seems as if this is something the kids do these days. My ds18 had a friend who started a new school.. very expensive private school and he was hit in the first week with notes like this! His mom just let him handle it and didnt try to save the day. I know my oldest has also gotten emails like that.
Ps i would use this as a learning tool, talk about sex, STDS!!!! Types of girls he wants to date and how disrespectful it is to write a note like that to a girl.

Uhhh, this doesn't sound like the type of girl that is looking for respect....

 

[Wishing on a star]

Uhhh, this doesn't sound like the type of girl that is looking for respect....

I think the most applicable part here is that this is not the type of girl he should want to date or become involved with!

 

[maelstrom]

If it doesn't bother your son and he's just ignoring it, then let it go. If it makes him uncomfortable, report it.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

The teens nowadays are alot "Faster" then when I was in highschool 12 years ago.

I was a late bloomer but my mother was very open with me when I was about 12 or 13. I am a woman by the way.

I never felt uncomfortable talking to her about certain things and yes she might have found a note or two from a guy but it wasn't saying things like that. Maybe something like I can't wait to make out with you.

I always denied it to, but OP I am sure your son is a good one, but don't just blame the young lady. As they say it takes 2 to tango and if he wasn't interested he would have thrown the note away. He didn't, you found it and he is going to deny everything because he doesn't want "Mom" to know.

Times are a changin!