Private School????

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I live in an area with great public schools but my DS13 has decided he wants to go to a private high school in 2013 Looking at the school I can see why he likes it.

I am on the fence as to whether to let him apply so I thought I would ask how other people have made this decision.

 

[worm761]

Can you afford it?
What are his reasonings?

If they are sound reasons and you can comfortably afford for him to go to this school then I would let him apply.

 

[Poohforyou]

The 1st thing to check is that the school is accredited. Also what colleges are kids going to compared to your public school? Finally are there programs at the private school that you can find within your community as an after school option?

Personally, we're in a great public school district and my dd is doing well academically and socially. If she were to ask about private school there would have to be some very strong & specific reasons for it.

 

[Art 1]

Mine went all the way through. They were always around motivated students. Now that they are in college they are seeing the difference and appreciate the education that they received.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Can you afford it? .

We could probably make it work, but it would be tight. They have several scholarships that we might qualify that would make it easier. I'd probably expect him to contribute, e.g. telling him he'd need to get a summer job and earn his own pocket money, rather than continuing to go to camps.

What are his reasonings? .

His reasonings: He's a kid who likes formality and order, and tradition, and ceremony, and is also fascinated by religion. It's a Catholic school with a military option, and so both of those appeal to him which baffles me since Catholic military school is the last thing in the world I'd have chosen for myself. It's also a big sports school, with much stronger athletics than our and all the things that go with that like pep rallies, and marching bands, and wearing your school colors. Our local public school lacks those things.

Shared reasonings: Our local public school is predominantly very affluent white/Asian with a smaller population of lower income African American and Hispanic kids. There's a huge achievement gap. He's an African American honor student with a single white mom, and I think he sometimes feels trapped between the two groups. This school has a large middle class and affluent African American population. I think he'd find it easier to be himself there. In addition, they've got far more male teachers, and male teachers of color. I think he'd find more role models there.

My reasonings: Smaller class sizes means he might get more attention? Also our local school has a reputation for being a pressure cooker, this school seems a little more nurturing and the kids seem to have a more balanced experience.

If they are sound reasons and you can comfortably afford for him to go to this school then I would let him apply.

The school is accredited with a very long history. It's not one of the "top" schools in our area, but it's got a good reputation and people are happy there.

Both schools have impressive college acceptances, with kids regularly going on to Ivy League schools, and other top schools.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

It's a Catholic school with a military option, and so both of those appeal to him which baffles me since Catholic military school is the last thing in the world I'd have chosen for myself.

The Catholic school in my hometown is very well regarded, but when those kids met up with all the public school kids here, they were WAY behind on math & science (Engineering school). Their History & Language programs were top notch, but they were just "okay" in other areas. Typically, a "good" public school won't have those issues. Not saying all (or even most) Catholic schools have such problems, but it's worth a closer look.

 

[tvguy]

The 1st thing to check is that the school is accredited. Also what colleges are kids going to compared to your public school? Finally are there programs at the private school that you can find within your community as an after school option?

Personally, we're in a great public school district and my dd is doing well academically and socially. If she were to ask about private school there would have to be some very strong & specific reasons for it.

My kids went to private school K-12. Didn't plan it that way, but it was only $20 a week more than before and after school care would have cost at the same facility so we tried it and liked it. I don't care for the business practices of private schools, but they provide a great education.
I will tell you, that in my experience, accreditation doesn't have as much value as you think. There are dozens of accreditation bodies our there, so being "accredited" can be little more than a word on a piece of paper. I will add, my daughter's best teacher, 45 years experience as a First grade teacher, made it clear she was just too busy teachingr to ever get a credential from an organization that really didn't know a whole lot about teaching. I will note, that after first grade, her students were all doing 3rd, 4th and 5th grade level english, science and math work, so she knew what she was talking about.

When both my kids hit college, I got my answer about whether it was worth it. They were both astonished at how poorly prepared for college their classmates from public schools were. Didn't have a clue how to write a paper, had no clue about grammer, spelling, or math.

 

[si-am]

A lot of people tend to have tunnel vision about private schools and how much inherently better they are than public schools, academically.

This isn't the case with all. I find it laughable that even several posters on this thread are disparaging public schools by claiming the difference in private vs. public is immediately apparent in college.

It sounds to me, though, OP, that your son's reasons for wanting to attend this particular school are reasonable and that it ultimately might be beneficial in ways other than academics. I would just make sure you research the school to make sure it's worth the money.

 

[prncess674]

.

When both my kids hit college, I got my answer about whether it was worth it. They were both astonished at how poorly prepared for college their classmates from public schools were. Didn't have a clue how to write a paper, had no clue about grammer, spelling, or math.

That isn't a public v private phenomenon, I went to school with a girl who attended my school 5th grade to college, we even got degrees in the same thing. I cringe evrytime I read an email or Facebbok post, she is terrible at writing, etc.

Good writing and math is not just a product of good schooling but also a product of good parenting.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The Catholic school in my hometown is very well regarded, but when those kids met up with all the public school kids here, they were WAY behind on math & science (Engineering school). Their History & Language programs were top notch, but they were just "okay" in other areas. Typically, a "good" public school won't have those issues. Not saying all (or even most) Catholic schools have such problems, but it's worth a closer look.

CBC for starters? My nephew went to CBC and could not pass pre-Calc in college.

My brothers went to a college prep HS and did great, of course this was back in the 90's.

OP it really depends on the school and area you are from and the kid. If your son would be a better fit at this private school and you can swing it, then go for it.

Sounds like you have done your homework.

Not all public schools are crap. Part of it is up to the student and how they determine what is available to them.

My youngest is going to be a sophomore in a public HS and they have an english class that is tailored made for her above honors. Of course she could "write" in grade school. It is just her "match" school.

Good Luck!

 

[Christine]

Both my kids went/go to private Catholic high schools. We are not Catholic. Here was my reasoning:

1. As you mentioned, there is a huge achievement gap in our public schools. We have many outstanding, stellar students along with great programs for them. On the other spectrum, we have a ton of kids who are economically disadvantanged, can't speak English, troubled lives, etc. The population of our high schools is close to 3,000.

2. My daughter was an average student. She wasn't going to be in the top classes with the kids who cared. She was going to be somewhere in the middle. We did put her in public high school for one year. She loved all the social aspects of it but she definitely got LOST in the shuffle. And some of the things that went on in the classroom. I can just say WOW.

3. We transferred her to a smaller (1,000 kids) Catholic high school for 10-12 grades and she loved it. I thought that she got a lot more "looking after" by the staff and there was minimal "angst" in the school.

I won't say the academics are better because we live in an area with top-ranked schools nationally; however, I find that more of the kids themselves care about their studies. The teachers are definitely more nurturing.

My son is in a Catholic high school that only has about 500 students. It is REAL personal--more so than I would like; however, he is very comfortable there and the teachers are on him, kids are kind/nice, and it's a good fit for him.

What I have found about both Catholic high schools is that the sports programs are a very big deal and, if your son is into that thing, he may very well like that aspect of it.

 

[Mkrop]

The Catholic school in my hometown is very well regarded, but when those kids met up with all the public school kids here, they were WAY behind on math & science (Engineering school). Their History & Language programs were top notch, but they were just "okay" in other areas. Typically, a "good" public school won't have those issues. Not saying all (or even most) Catholic schools have such problems, but it's worth a closer look.

And in our area, it is the opposite. DS14 just scored extremely high on many national math acheivement tests given in our area. Our science did lack some but when the prinicipal came she really focused on that. I talked to one parent who transfered her child out for some reading help and brought her son back in 6th grade, only to find out that her son was very far behind in English and Grammar skills. DS told me that they were singing the preposition song, and he turned to him and asked what was a preposition. She had to get him tutoring in grammar of all things to get him caught up with his classmates.

We choose/chose Catholic school because of the religion aspect, and personally I like that our kids can say "God Bless America", may seem silly but it is important to me. I found the discipline to be better, and the exposure to certain things were more delayed than in the public school. Note I said delayed, because I am under no delusion that my sons will be exposed to things later, I certainly was, just later.

DS14 is now going to a Catholic private school that he won a scholarship, it is all boys, and the class size is small. It is only him and one other kid from his class going, but he has loved this place since he first went to a camp there. I am nervous about it but he is so excitied that I do want to afford him this opportunity.

 

[sksjasams]

His reasonings: He's a kid who likes formality and order, and tradition, and ceremony, and is also fascinated by religion. It's a Catholic school with a military option, and so both of those appeal to him which baffles me since Catholic military school is the last thing in the world I'd have chosen for myself. It's also a big sports school, with much stronger athletics than our and all the things that go with that like pep rallies, and marching bands, and wearing your school colors. Our local public school lacks those things.

Shared reasonings: Our local public school is predominantly very affluent white/Asian with a smaller population of lower income African American and Hispanic kids. There's a huge achievement gap. He's an African American honor student with a single white mom, and I think he sometimes feels trapped between the two groups. This school has a large middle class and affluent African American population. I think he'd find it easier to be himself there. In addition, they've got far more male teachers, and male teachers of color. I think he'd find more role models there.

My reasonings: Smaller class sizes means he might get more attention? Also our local school has a reputation for being a pressure cooker, this school seems a little more nurturing and the kids seem to have a more balanced experience.

When I read all of your reasonings, it seems like an easy decision as long as you can afford it. These reasonings give a very strong argument for a great environment for your son. Heck, I don't even know him, and I want this for him.

Good luck with your decison!

 

[kate_wdw]

Shared reasonings: Our local public school is predominantly very affluent white/Asian with a smaller population of lower income African American and Hispanic kids. There's a huge achievement gap. He's an African American honor student with a single white mom, and I think he sometimes feels trapped between the two groups. This school has a large middle class and affluent African American population. I think he'd find it easier to be himself there. In addition, they've got far more male teachers, and male teachers of color. I think he'd find more role models there.

I think this is huge and a very compelling reason to switch schools (if you can afford it).

 

[DopeyDame]

I went to 20 years of Catholic school (preschool through college) and wouldn't change a thing. But that's totally irrelevant to this discussion...

It's impossible to generalize about catholic schools just as it's impossible to generalize about public schools.
The only things that matter in this discussion are the particular public school where you live and the particular private school you're considering.

Based on what you've written, it sounds like you have a mature, self-aware, smart young man. You've clearly done something right so far, so I'm sure he'll be fine wherever he goes. That said, the private school sounds like it might be a place where he will be very comfortable and thrive. If you think you can swing the finances, I'd encourage you to apply. The application process should tell you a LOT about the school. Your son should get a chance to visit and spend the day there - he'll get a really good sense of the school by doing that. Remember that the application process is a two way street, so don't hesitate to ask questions or voice concerns along the way.

Good luck!

 

[shortbun]

I think you need to make the decision based on his needs and the benefits of both. Seems like the private school is a better fit. When we looked at private schools for our son, the one thing that stuck out to us was that the community had already been formed and he would be 'the new kid' which meant squeezing himself onto sports teams, into social groups and avoiding the trappings of reinventing himself to do that fitting in. We talked about it. In the end, another alternative won out due to a health issue but we really liked the private school for all the reasons you said. The school we were considering was not religious or military based, just academic.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

When I read all of your reasonings, it seems like an easy decision as long as you can afford it. These reasonings give a very strong argument for a great environment for your son. Heck, I don't even know him, and I want this for him.

Good luck with your decison!

The problem is that I can give equally strong reasons for the public side. We really do have a great public school program. Here's what I see as the other side.

1) We aren't Catholic.

2) JROTC -- I know he'd love it, I worry about how much encouragement there is for them to choose a military career. The military is 100% out for my kid, because he's got a medical condition they reject for.

3) Arts -- My son has been involved in chorus and drama at his school and loves both. Our public has lots of different choruses, and a theater arts "academy" where they can take up to 2 classes a year for 4 years, with lots and lots of choices like IB Film, and theater production, and of course acting and television productions classes, plus lots of productions every year. Private has good instrumental music and good visual arts, but only 2 chorus options, one audition based ensemble, and no drama classes. They have 2 stage productions a year, at least one of which conflicts with the sport he wants to play.

4) Languages -- private offers Spanish and French. Public offers many more including Arabic. My son has said for several years that he'd like to study Arabic in high school, and study abroad in that part of the world in college.

5) Social Sciences -- this is my son's strongest subject, and there are many more high level classes at public, more AP's etc . . .

6) Sports -- program at private is definitely stronger, but that also means that a lot of kids go there specifically for sports. I worry about playing time for my kid who is talented but average height and plays a sport/position where size counts.

7) Money -- this should be first. I think the tuition workable for us, but we'd have to cut a lot. If he went public my son could do some summer programs on college campuses plus sports camps, drama camps etc . . . He could continue to be in the ski club (it's middle school/high school mixed). We could take trips as a family. If he chooses private all those things would need to be cut.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I think you need to make the decision based on his needs and the benefits of both. Seems like the private school is a better fit. When we looked at private schools for our son, the one thing that stuck out to us was that the community had already been formed and he would be 'the new kid' which meant squeezing himself onto sports teams, into social groups and avoiding the trappings of reinventing himself to do that fitting in. We talked about it. In the end, another alternative won out due to a health issue but we really liked the private school for all the reasons you said. The school we were considering was not religious or military based, just academic.

The situation here is a little reversed. The private is high school only, with kids coming from all over the area. There's not a handful of "feeder" schools like some privates, so all the freshmen are on equal footing. Our public is one middle school feeding to one high school. He's at the middle school, but has only been there for 2 years and find that many of the kids are still really close to the kids they went to elementary school with.

 

[Pigeon]

I would much rather put the money for private high schools into the kid's college fund if you have a good public school district.

 

[DopeyDame]

Here are my thoughts based on my Catholic school experience... take it for what you paid for it...

The problem is that I can give equally strong reasons for the public side. We really do have a great public school program. Here's what I see as the other side.

1) We aren't Catholic.
In my HS class of 90 students, there were a handful (4 or 5, I think) that weren't Catholic. It certainly didn't appear to ever be a problem. They had to attend mass as it was a school activity, but obviously they didn't receive communion and it was never an issue. We did have relgion class every year as a major subject and all students had to take it. So he'll certainly learn a lot about Catholicism, but I would hope (and truly believe) that his beliefs (or lack of) will be respected. Something I've always found ironic is that I learned FAR more about other religions in my Catholic schools than my puclic school friends ever did. In 10th grade, our religion class was "World Religions" - so we spent the year learning about Islam, Judaism, Hindu, and other Christian relgiions. Most of my friends from public schools never learned anything about religions other than their own.

2) JROTC -- I know he'd love it, I worry about how much encouragement there is for them to choose a military career. The military is 100% out for my kid, because he's got a medical condition they reject for.
This is a great concern to bring up with the school. They schould be able to tell you exactly what percentage of students each year enroll in the military, what percentage go onto college ROTC, and what don't do either. That will give you a good sense of the program.

3) Arts --
4) Languages --
5) Social Sciences --
I combined all these because it's the same basic issue: More choices at the public school. I have two thoughts on this. 1. More doesn't always mean better. In education, I have found that it is really quality over quantity. If the school offers fantastic classes, that's far better than offering more mediocre options. (Not saying the public school is necesarily mediocre.) 2. Your son only has 24 hours in the day and 8 (or so) classes per semester/year. Sit down and figure out realistically what his schedule would look like at each school. What is he REALLY missing out on? Even if the school offers 20 social studies classes, he's probably only realistically going to take 4 or 5 of them. Even if there are a dozen choirs, he's only going to participate in 1 or 2 of them. So if the lack of options means he's missing out on something he would really like to do (perhaps arabic), than that's a potential problem. If it's just a matter of 'it would be nice to have more choices' than I really wouldn't be overly concerned.

6) Sports -- program at private is definitely stronger, but that also means that a lot of kids go there specifically for sports. I worry about playing time for my kid who is talented but average height and plays a sport/position where size counts.
This is another legit concern to ask the school about. (and maybe some other parents if you can track any down.) Find out how many teams there are for each sport. At my very small high school, we had 6 lacrosse teams. So even if you didn't make varsity/JV, you could still be on a team and getting lots of playing time.

7) Money -- this should be first. I think the tuition workable for us, but we'd have to cut a lot. If he went public my son could do some summer programs on college campuses plus sports camps, drama camps etc . . . He could continue to be in the ski club (it's middle school/high school mixed). We could take trips as a family. If he chooses private all those things would need to be cut.
This is the hard one, and also the most personal. Only you know your budget and priorities. Find out more aobut the school, resolve all your other concerns, and it will quickly become clear to you if it's "worth it" in the sense of everything he'd be giving up.