Preschoolers playing "guns"

[Aidensmom]

Yesterday my son came home from Pre-K upset and confused because he thought the police were going to come get him and take him to jail.

DH and I had to ask a lot of questions to figure out what he was upset about, but we finally got out of him that he and two of his friends were "playing guns" with their fingers during center time. The teacher told them that guns are not nice and that it is a rule that they don't play guns at school, and they were sent to time out. My son replied that they were just squirt guns.

He said the teacher then told them that all guns are bad and dangerous, and that if a policeman sees them with a gun, then they will get taken to jail.

Well, we let our son play with squirt guns. Heck, we play with him sometimes. So now he was thinking that mom and dad let him play with something dangerous and was going to get him in a lot of trouble. To top it off, when he and DH got home that afternoon, there was an officer standing out on our corner with his radar gun, and he waved and said "hi" to my son. He was terrified that this policeman was going to take him to jail, and couldn't understand why he was being nice to him.

I have no problem with it being a rule that they cannot play guns at school. However, I think it was completely inappropriate to suggest to 4 and 5 year olds that playing with toy guns or squirt guns was going to get them sent to jail.

Am I overreacting?

 

[mickeyboat]

No, you are not overreacting, the teacher's comments were completely inappropriate.

It would have been enough for her to say that gun-play is not allowed at school, period. No explanation is required other than that it's the rule.

Her involvement of the police was horrible. We don't want our children to be afraid of the police!

Denae

 

[sweet angel]

I don't think kids playing with toy guns that OBVIOUSLY look like toys is a problem. I get nervous with the toys that look real.

Little boys will use their fingers to make guns...they don't even need actual toys.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that the teacher was out of line! Like has been mentioned, she could have said that gun play is not allowed at preschool and left it at that. It's none of her business what people do at home, as long as it's not illegal.

I used to be very anti-gun of any kind for kids. Then when my DD was probably about 6-7 she came running into our house in a panic because neighbor kids were playing with super soaker guns and she was sure she was going to die. I felt bad for her, but I was almost I did explain to her about different types of toy guns and we then bought super soakers and squirt guns. It's not as if they look anything like real guns, afterall. BTW, she's now in college and has yet to be arrested for gun possession.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Little boys will use their fingers to make guns...they don't even need actual toys.

Or, if they are like my 6 year old, will eat their toast in the shape of a gun and play with it!

 

[bananiem]

We had a no-guns rule at our center. The kids would make guns out of legos or whatever. I always just said "Remember, no guns at our center." And have them take the lego gun apart. Usually they'd tell me "We're just shooting water at each other" to which I would reply "Since when does water make the 'pow pow bam' noise?"

 

[FroggyinArk]

ok this should get interesting



as a rule,,realist toy guns are inappropriate,,and any type of gun inappropriate at school. yet i have played with guns,, real and toys all my life, by the time i was 10 i owned several real guns, and could use them. i had bb guns, pellet guns, and ya know,, not once did anyones eye get shot out. ( fireworks are a different story btw)

by the time i was 15 i made my first "tater gun"

big pipe with "fuel" opening,, stuff potato into the end, and and some sort of flamable fuel then light and watch the tater fly...

these are illegal now btw.

i still own guns, and will teach my dd to use them when sh e decides she wants to learn.

tell aiden i'll send him a rubber band gun, first chance i get to make him one.

 

[jennyl772003]

He's in preK, so he's like what, 4? And you are trusting what he said was exactly what happened?

If it IS true, it's terrible. I would think what REALLY happened is not exactly what you are hearing.

 

[Bob Slydell]

ITA with you, Aidensmom -- nothing wrong with a no-gun rule (my boys' preschool has one too). But if the teacher did truly tell the kids that a policeman is going to take them to jail if he sees them playing with a toy gun, that's going further than the teacher needed to go.

 

[declansdad]

A simple "there is no gun playing at school" should have been all that was said. The person who said this to your ds was out-of-line.


That being said, the concept of playing guns or cops and robbers, whatever you called it, is not harmful in my opinion. My friends and I all grew up playing these games and none of us turned to to be murderers or bank robbers. A couple did become cops though.

There is more to it than just the guns. It falls more in to the lack of education department I think.

 

[MickeyAnne]

I teach kindergarten and I do have the "no playing guns" rule in my classroom. So many of them play violent video games even at 5 and emulate them when they play guns - it makes me nervous. I simply explain to my students that most guns are dangerous and that we shouldn't be pretending to hurt people with guns. Had your son pointed out the squirt gun issue to me I would have still asked that they not play, but would have explained the difference between dangerous guns and squirt guns. I do agree that they were out of line with threatening police action! They are only 4!

 

[Mike.Wazowski]

It is my experience that boys will be boys -
and even those never exposed to even toy guns will make sticks into make believe guns.
Yes I think she crossed the line with telling him that he would go to jail - but I don't think it was intentional really. I would bring it to her attention so she doesn't do it again.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Or, if they are like my 6 year old, will eat their toast in the shape of a gun and play with it!

 

[ozarkmom]

When my oldest ds was going to a pre-school part time the director told me that toy guns were not allowed. Then she said that boys will make guns out of other toys like legos, etc. She said she had some boys that took plastic bowling pins and made the pow pow sounds with them. I remember when it was perfectly normal to play with toy guns and water pistols.

 

[Aidensmom]

He's in preK, so he's like what, 4? And you are trusting what he said was exactly what happened?

If it IS true, it's terrible. I would think what REALLY happened is not exactly what you are hearing.

We are pretty good at deciphering the truth from imagination with him. And his explanation does fit in well with the questions he was asking us to sort out his confusion. We may not have gotten from him verbatim what the teacher said, but she did apparantly say some stuff that scared and confused him regarding guns.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Poor kid.

If they want to decide how the children will play in thier school, well, it's their school. They can do that.

I'm sure this woman is well-intentioned, but she is lying to and frightening children. If it were a one-time thing, I'd blow it off and tell my kid she was a dope. But, if she's going to involved with his life, I'd have a talk with her.

 

[jcsbama]

He's in preK, so he's like what, 4? And you are trusting what he said was exactly what happened?

If it IS true, it's terrible. I would think what REALLY happened is not exactly what you are hearing.

Everyone excuse me, I must be in a bad mood today. I just get so tired of a parent telling a story or asking questions on these boards and then other posters come up with a reason to say that the parent is not hearing the whole story and the child is either exaggerating it, leaving out details, making it up, etc. Can anything ever be taken at face value anymore? Obviously the OP's son was shaken up about what the teacher said. Rather or not the son got the exact phrasing or not is not relevant. The teacher apparently told the boys something that had the OP's son worried he was going to be arrested. An adult doesn't have to use silly, unreal stories to make a child follow a rule. A rule is a rule. Kids don't have to know the reasons, they just need to learn to follow them.

Ok, soap box over.

 

[smilie]

Little boys will use their fingers to make guns...they don't even need actual toys.

My Dh was never allowed toy guns when he was little. Even the obviously fake looking ones. But my MIL said that whenever he had a sandwich he would bite it into the shape of a gun. Boys will find a way to play with guns!

 

[jennyl772003]

I'm sorry, but I have a son. He is very trust worthy. But if he were to come to me with some crazy story, I would still question him. My son is a good kid, but he's not perfect. I would get the other side of the story.

I am not saying her son is a liar, but that maybe the truth was altered somewhat. Maybe another one of the kids is actually the one who said something about the police. He's only 4 or 5. Things get blown out of proportion.

 

[Cindyluwho]

This whole situation just seems much too obvious to me. Why aren't you and your husband sitting down with the teacher and your son and talking this thing out? Your son was scared by her story, he could have misunderstood, she could have made a mistake, there's just too many options. So, just talk about it!! I wouldn't waste one minute fretting about it, I'd just get to the bottom of it and clear the air. I bet it would take about 5 minutes of everyone's time and everyone would feel better. If you don't feel that you can communicate with your son's teacher in this way then you've got wayyy bigger problems than this particular incident.