Prepping to get kid into Gifted & Talented school/class

[NY Disney fan]

I know this is going to be a contraversial topic but I'm in a pickle. My daughter will enter Kindergarten next year and I'm looking at options. At first I thought it might be good for her to go into a G&T program based on what I know my daughter can do. I spoke to her pre-school director and he's all about prepping kids for the G&T test. His school pumps out G&T kids and the school is a factory for them. The local Chinese paper puts a yearly centerfold ad of all the kids in his school that gets in. He's widely celebrated in the community.

So I signed my daughter up for prep classes with him (he only preps 4 years olds because he says after that its too late to get in the system due to lack of available seats). I put her on the list but did not pay him yet. I go in this Saturday to put my $$ down.

I have done tons of research about what G&T options are available to my daughter and I'm not happy at all. Most of them are really far away from our home, which would be fine for an older child but not a baby in Kindergarten. After much research and rumination, I actually would love her to stay in our neighborhood school (non-G&T) and I think my daughter will thrive there and will be perfectly fine.

The problem: My parents and sister (and the rest of my family) believe that if I don't encourage my daughter out of her comfort zone she will always take the easy road out. Just FYI, I normally take the easy way out in a lot of things I do and I don't push myself so my family thinks this curse will befall my child. My parents (who are helping me raise my daughter) strongly want me to prep her for the test and perfectly willing to make the necessary sacrifices for her. But I don't want this for my child. I just want her to be close to home.

My parents feel that even if my daughter does not go to a G&T school, she should prep for the test just so that she is stimulated. The cost of the prep is not an issue for me, I just don't want to push her too hard even though I know she can handle it.



Your thoughts?

 

[SaraJayne]

She's 4!!!! Let her be 4 and leave her where she is.

 

[NY Disney fan]

She's 4!!!! Let her be 4 and leave her where she is.

That's what I want. But I'm getting hell for it. My biggest mistake was opening my mouth to my parents.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

She's 4!!!! Let her be 4 and leave her where she is.

This!

 

[mjkacmom]

Our GT program in the elementary school comes down to 2 IQ scores. In order to take the tests, children must score advanced proficient in at least one area on the standardized state testing, have straight A's, and get recommended by their teacher. I know many kids who were not admitted into the program based on IQ scores. My older kids got in, but if my twins don't, it really doesn't matter to me. All I ask is that they all do their best. When dd9 was in kindergarten, she was reading chapter books, and her teacher asked me if I wanted supplemental work. No thanks - let her have fun (she did help out some of the other kids). I really want them to like school, especially early on (and yes, dd13 hates school, but most teens do - she still gets great grades).

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I know this is going to be a contraversial topic but I'm in a pickle. My daughter will enter Kindergarten next year and I'm looking at options. At first I thought it might be good for her to go into a G&T program based on what I know my daughter can do. I spoke to her pre-school director and he's all about prepping kids for the G&T test. His school pumps out G&T kids and the school is a factory for them. The local Chinese paper puts a yearly centerfold ad of all the kids in his school that gets in. He's widely celebrated in the community.

So I signed my daughter up for prep classes with him (he only preps 4 years olds because he says after that its too late to get in the system due to lack of available seats). I put her on the list but did not pay him yet. I go in this Saturday to put my $$ down.

I have done tons of research about what G&T options are available to my daughter and I'm not happy at all. Most of them are really far away from our home, which would be fine for an older child but not a baby in Kindergarten. After much research and rumination, I actually would love her to stay in our neighborhood school (non-G&T) and I think my daughter will thrive there and will be perfectly fine.

The problem: My parents and sister (and the rest of my family) believe that if I don't encourage my daughter out of her comfort zone she will always take the easy road out. Just FYI, I normally take the easy way out in a lot of things I do and I don't push myself so my family thinks this curse will befall my child. My parents (who are helping me raise my daughter) strongly want me to prep her for the test and perfectly willing to make the necessary sacrifices for her. But I don't want this for my child. I just want her to be close to home.

My parents feel that even if my daughter does not go to a G&T school, she should prep for the test just so that she is stimulated. The cost of the prep is not an issue for me, I just don't want to push her too hard even though I know she can handle it.



Your thoughts?

Thoughts:

If you have to prep for a GT test, your child is not gifted.

I wouldn't spend the money for a 4 year old to be prepped. I would instead spend the money on a good child psychologist and have a real test done such as the Stanford Binet or the Wisc along with an achievement test to see where they are in relation to their peers. ONLY with proper testing will you know your child is truly gifted.

If your parents are bugging you, tell them that the tests that schools give are not true indicators of IQ. Only standardized IQ tests can do that and have them pony up the $800 for a full evaluation.

If a 4 year old is prepped for the test and passes, what happens when he/she is now in the program and is presented with materials that he/she has not been prepped for?

True gifted kids represent less than 1% of the student population. You can't "prep" for giftedness

 

[Spinning]

To me at 4 you shouldn't be stressing a kid out and pushing. This is the age they need to learn play skills, social skills and education should be fun. I got a lot of slack when I picked a play based preschool for my children. It was wonderful yes both kids were more than ready for kindergarten even after a play based program, and even better they knew how to play and interact with other children. Plus those who are gifted at 4 may not be by 8.....just my two cents.

 

[SaraJayne]

That's what I want. But I'm getting hell for it. My biggest mistake was opening my mouth to my parents.

You're the parent. Tell your parents to back off, as it's *your* decision and not theirs.

 

[LuvOrlando]

My 2 cents:

It sounds like your mom and sister are on the same page as I am.

Personally I think the greatest hurdle for gifted kids is to learn how to socially connect with the rest of the world. It is very difficult to recognize we all don't see the world the same and very easy to alienate other people by making unintentionally cruel comments. I believe intelligence will take care of itself so instead, work on play dates and helping your DD immerse herself in Popular Culture so she has some common ground upon which to build friendships. The kids on the playground won't care if she can read or how high she can count, they will care if she doesn't know who Dora is. As she gets older the trappings of middle ground will change but her desperate need to find that middle ground won't change. If she is far above average most people will not able able to follow her train of thought. As a result she will need to be able to change conversation flawlessly and developing those alternatives is harder to do if your interests don't naturally fall into the mundane. Everyday common interests need to be cultivated. My point is that if your child is, in fact, gifted she will stand out without any assistance from you so instead help her learn how to fit in... that's a much more valuable skill for these kids. Well, for any kid it's important but for kids that fall outside the average it is much harder and more necessary.

Good luck

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

One thing to remember, students in G&T programs are often asked to make up the work that they miss in the regular classroom. They are pulled out for the G&T work, and they will not have covered the missed material during their early years in education. This means more time at home doing homework. Not a big deal if your child has no other interests, but it can become overwhelming if your child does.

My older son was in G&T. He is also in the band and chorus. During his elementary years, he begged us to let him drop G&T, so we did. He couldn't do it all, and he loves music. He is no worse for it, but we get grief from a number of the other parents of G&T students. They wonder how we could let him drop out. Our son's happiness was more important.

 

[carone0318]

I guess it comes down to standing up for what you want for your child or appeasing your parents, you'll have to make that decision.

You might take some flack from your parents, but in regards to your child do you want to regret your decisions for the rest of her life.

 

[abdmom]

Former G&T teacher here. If a 4 year old needs prep for a G&T test, they shouldn't be in a G&T class.

I have a 4 year old. He's going into senior kindergarten next year. There is a French immersion option at his school which is very popular. I applied via the lottery system, but he didn't get in. He was offered a spot at a school about 15 minutes away. I decided to keep him in his own school which is a 2 minute walk away. The connections with other kids in his neighbourhood was more important for me than the program. I found that my 2 oldest really suffered socially in our previous home from not having children who went to the same school in our neighbourhood. DS4 will still get French language classes - just like your child will get stimulated. There will still be options in the future if the regular classroom is not appropriate.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Thoughts:

If you have to prep for a GT test, your child is not gifted.

Normally I would have agreed with you but I'm finding out that this is not true. I know a 5 year old who does 2nd grade math and also reads at 2nd grade level but scored low on the G&T test because he couldn't follow the proctor's directions. I also know plenty of kids who scored near-perfect on the G&T test but drop out of the elite programs because of the stress and competition. I thought it was black & white. It isn't.

Secondly, the best and brightest students prep for tests (SAT, MCAT, LSAT).

Third, the issue isn't passing the test. The real issues is quality of life if you get accepted. How will a child handle it.

 

[bgirldeb]

I've never heard of prepping for Gifted programs, but I was in my school system's Gifted program from elementary through high school, and can tell you that the kids I knew with pushy (would probably call them helicopter parents today) parents had the least social skills and were the most unhappy.

 

[tommya60]

You need to find out EXACTLY how GT works in your school. Just your school, and all the details. Every school and every school district handles this differently. And the budget cuts most schools are facing are changing things. Call the school district and ask. Call the neighbor you rarely speak with and ask. Ask the local school if they can pass your contact information along to a GT parent and have them call you. In our district the GT program starts at third grade.
Spend some time on HoagiesGifted dot com and get a feel for supplemental programs in your area. Some areas have a lot, some have a little. Call the local museum, aquarium, whatever and ask about programs for kids. It doesn't have to have a GT label to be a good fit and provide stimulation.

 

[NY Disney fan]

You're the parent. Tell your parents to back off, as it's *your* decision and not theirs.

I know!! I guess I'm just going to have to grin and bear it. I have to fight for my daughter's well being.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

It's interesting to see how gifted programs work nowadays. 25 years ago, when I was placed into the gifted program, there was no "prepping" or anything like that. Heck, I don't think most parents even knew about the program. They chose some students who were excelling, took them into another room, and gave them some tests.

IMO I really think this is what's best for kids. Just let them grow up as normal, if they're smart, they'll get recognized. All of these prep classes, and other things, take away from a lot of experiences that kids need, most important of which is socialization.

Every kid is special in their own way. Instead of prepping and farming them to grow a skill that may not be their strength, I think it's just best to let them grow into what they're good at.

If your instincts, as a Mother, are telling you to pull your DD out of this prep class, than that says A LOT! Go ahead with your instinct and be happy about the choice you made. Your DD will still be the wonderful girl that you've raised!

 

[jrmasm]

Normally I would have agreed with you but I'm finding out that this is not true. I know a 5 year old who does 2nd grade math and also reads at 2nd grade level but scored low on the G&T test because he couldn't follow the proctor's directions. I also know plenty of kids who scored near-perfect on the G&T test but drop out of the elite programs because of the stress and competition. I thought it was black & white. It isn't.

Secondly, the best and brightest students prep for tests (SAT, MCAT, LSAT).

Third, the issue isn't passing the test. The real issues is quality of life if you get accepted. How will a child handle it.

Not IQ tests. Period.

 

[golfgal]

In my experience, G/T classes are more for the parents so they can say their child is in the G/T class then any real benefit kids actually get out of these classes, unless your schools are not very good and this is the only enriched classes they offer. If you are in good schools with a good curriculum, G/T is more for bragging rights than anything.

Also, most schools here don't even START G/T classes until 4th or 5th grade.

I have to agree that if you have to "prep" to be in the class, she doesn't belong there. That doesn't mean she isn't bright and won't be a good student but there is a LOT more than that for G/T kids. A TRUE gifted child is one that sees things differently and thinks differently, it isn't about being the top students--which most programs are really geared toward, not the truly gifted. Of the top 10 that just graduated from our high school this past Saturday, NONE of those kids were in the G/T program. One student IS Gifted in math and science but he was gifted beyond what that program could have offered even and he was taking college level classes in 8th grade to challenge him and even THOSE were not enough in high school.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Someone once told me that everyone thinks their first born is a genius.

I would not send my 5 year old far away to go to a school like that. And most G&T rely on IQ tests which is not something you can prep for as it measures your capacity to learn.

Smart kids can do well in a regular school with a good teacher that will give them work at a level they can absorb and learn from. It is more important for them to be challenged appropriately, learn to love school and have fun.

Also, it would most likely limit what activities you could attend at the school if it is far away. It's nice being able to volunteer for things and be a part of the school. It's also politically smart to be there as the parents that are seen often get to know the principal, teachers, etc.

We parents these days can be a bit over the top. I often think "Did Einstein's mom do this?" And I am pretty sure she didn't. He didn't even speak until he was 4!