PreK and Kindergarten - when to hold your child back?

[ajk912]

Holding back for sports makes no sense to me. Every competitive league I have ever heard of goes by age, not grade, so you are shooting yourself in the foot to hold back for that. At least around here.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Holding back for sports makes no sense to me. Every competitive league I have ever heard of goes by age, not grade, so you are shooting yourself in the foot to hold back for that. At least around here.

Exactly.. same here.

 

[Minnie_me]

20-year Kindergarten teacher and now Pre-K teacher here!

My answers:

1.) Should I hold my kid back from attending Pre K or K if they are not 100% potty trained?

YES, YES, YES! Your child MUST be independent in the bathroom in order to attend pre-K (and K!). See my tag from the tag fairy. We do NOT help them. We are not even allowed to help them, by law. I'm not talking daycare center here.........I'm talking public pre-K and K.


2.) Do children with birthdays early in the year (Jan, Feb, March) have an advantage over children with birthdays in the last 3-5 months of the year when it comes to school? And has anyone held their child back from Kindergarten in order for them to be academically matched or on par with the other kids?

People do traditionally hold back their late birthday children. But it's really a case-by-case decision. Both of my dds (as well as myself) are fall birthdays, and they attended Kindergarten before they turned 5. They're both academically way ahead of their peers now in 4th and 7th grade. It just depends.

 

[torinsmom]

I teach public pre-K/K in NC, and students must be potty trained unless there is a medical problem documented. We have no changing facilities in our regular classroom, so I am assuming the child would need a personal assistant to take her to the EC class for changing. I know it is not in my job description to change a child, and I am not willing to do that(just being honest here). We have children who have accidents, but they have to be able to clean themselves up and change clothes without help.

OP, don't worry; your child isn't even 3 yet, LOL. My DS was a very late potty trainer and even he was done by 3 1/2. FInd out what her currency is and use it to your advantage. My son got a train sticker everytime he went in the potty, and it worked really well.

As far as birthdays, it is really not as black and white as some people think. I have had kids with birthdays in the fall who did fine, and some who needed to repeat. I have also had kids who turned 6 in K and still were not ready for 1st grade. Your child's pre-K teacher will be able to gauge whether your child is ready for K around Christmas of the Pre-K year.

Marsha

 

[golfgal]

Holding back for sports makes no sense to me. Every competitive league I have ever heard of goes by age, not grade, so you are shooting yourself in the foot to hold back for that. At least around here.

Until you get to high school and then it is by grade which is why people do that. They think their child has a better chance at a sports scholarship. In my experience though, holding kids back for sports does not give them any edge by the time they get to high school.

 

[RangerPooh]

The bulk of the Pre-K programs that I know about/have friends who teach in require children to be potty trained. Even if it's in the public school level for Pre-K they ask that your child be potty trained, although some are more flexibale than others. In the class that I teach Pre-K in, all of our 4yo are potty trained except those who have special needs.

I would wait to start Pre-K unti your child is 4yo, unless there is a dedicated 3 yo program. That's what I did with my kids. As for your birth month question, I have seen a difference in maturity/readiness between those who just turned 4 and those who ahve been 4 for months. Although sometimes it comes down to how much effort their parents have placed on teaching them the fundamentals of education (ABCs, numbers, colors, shpaes, nursery rhymes, etc).

 

[aprilgail2]

Here a child has to be potty trained to even go to 3 year old pre-school nevermind kindergarten!
Our cut off is Dec 1st here so when my daughter was in kindergarten she was 4 and 2 weeks after she turned 5 one of her classmates turned SEVEN!!
I would never hold a child back simply due to their age- it would vary by each child. My daughter has never had trouble being one of the youngest in her class and she is in 5th grade now. The only thing that was ever a problem was her size, she was small to begin with so being the smallest and youngest meant the other kids carried her around a lot! But she has grown 2 inches in the past 2 months so she is not the shortest kid anymore.

 

[lillygator]

kind of weird about the potty training...unless it is a paid for daycare, I would think your child would need to be trained.


I am 34, born and raised in FL....Nov bd, I started school at 4 in K and graduated at 17. Now the guidelines have changed....age 5 by 9/1 and yes, I'm sure potty trained. DD is a halloween bd so, while she was ready, she had to wait it out. My other dd will be 5 in Feb so no worries....what gets me, there is a child in my dd's school that is her age but will be 5 in Aug as opposed to Feb.....she is the youngest of 3, the eldest sibling is my other daughters age and they grew up together and are in the same grade. etc. and yes, I know it is up to the parents, they know best , etc...but these parents have already decided she will not being going to K next Aug, so much so, they did not let her move up to the next daycare class (which is the last before K).......so here is a young girl who's parents feel she doesn't have enough leadership qualities to move ahead yet, stuck in a class of newly potty trained children and is in fact regressing....really makes me sad.

I guess there would always be a point to hold a child back, but why start them out that way?

 

[quentina]

Two questions:

1.) Should I hold my kid back from attending Pre K or K if they are not 100% potty trained?

2.) Do children with birthdays early in the year (Jan, Feb, March) have an advantage over children with birthdays in the last 3-5 months of the year when it comes to school? And has anyone held their child back from Kindergarten in order for them to be academically matched or on par with the other kids?

I'm all new to this stuff.

I believe potty training must be complete.

I have held all 3 of my kids and it was the best thing I ever did. It is a personal choice, no other reason....it is a decision that only you can make for your kids.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I have held all 3 of my kids and it was the best thing I ever did.

Why do you feel that way?