Pregnant women, kids and busses...

[shellbelle1971]

I was referring to the poster who wanted all Moms to teach there son's to give up seats for women just because they are women, which I disagree with.

My sons (even my three year old) all know that they must open doors, give up seats, etc. for elderly or disabled people AND for ladies.

Recently, after he was given a "feminist" scolding by a women for holding the door, my 13yo asked (privately, after we got home) "Mom, not all women are ladies, huh?"

I answered "No, but I know you'll always be a gentleman."

 

[noodleknitter]

Anne:

I have never heard the argument to wait for the next bus put so well. This is, as Oprah says, a "light bulb moment" for me. In many ways it is just as discourteous to board a standing room only bus in need of a seat and expect someone else to give up their seat as it is for someone who is able-bodied to remain seated when someone in need of a seat boards. IMO, both acts are rude and selfish.

Good point. I suspect that most people don't realize until they are standing there, off balance, and miserable on the bus, the mess they've gotten themselves into. There isn't an excuse for the next time, however!

 

[GoofyGirlnPrincessV]

My sons (even my three year old) all know that they must open doors, give up seats, etc. for elderly or disabled people AND for ladies.

Recently, after he was given a "feminist" scolding by a women for holding the door, my 13yo asked (privately, after we got home) "Mom, not all women are ladies, huh?"

I answered "No, but I know you'll always be a gentleman."

Thank you!!! Now I know I am not the only one that have taught my son to be curtious of others. DH & I make sure that DS will be a gentleman no matter what.

 

[pweyl36]

Use common sense, people. If you need and/or really want a seat, wait for another bus. Don't criticize other people because you have crammed on a bus that is over full and then expect people to give up their seat to make "you" more comfortable. We have given up our seats many times, but we have also waited 20 extra minutes for a bus when we really wanted a seat and didn't feel like standing. I don't think that makes us selfish or shows bad manners, it's just COMMON SENSE.

I was just thinking the same thing. This is why we rent a car,we always have a seat


the work is never done!

 

[Disney01]

To the poster who said that sometimes waiting for another bus isn't always an option. There is "always" another option. You could plan ahead better, you could rent a car, or you could get a taxi. We have gotten a taxi at times, because we've realized that we've stayed too long in the parks, that we've gotten over tired, that my arthritic, 71 year old Mother can't stand,and my son is too tired. So, we've spent $13 for a taxi back to the hotel. I would never board a bus, expecting to get a seat, and then have the nerve to call other riders "rude" and "inconsiderate" because they didn't give up their seat for me. What if they had waited 30 extra minutes for that seat and you boarded at the last minute? That gives you the right to declare them having "poor manners"? Because your manners are so good?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

To the poster who said that sometimes waiting for another bus isn't always an option. There is "always" another option. You could plan ahead better, you could rent a car, or you could get a taxi. We have gotten a taxi at times, because we've realized that we've stayed too long in the parks, that we've gotten over tired, that my arthritic, 71 year old Mother can't stand,and my son is too tired. So, we've spent $13 for a taxi back to the hotel. I would never board a bus, expecting to get a seat, and then have the nerve to call other riders "rude" and "inconsiderate" because they didn't give up their seat for me. What if they had waited 30 extra minutes for that seat and you boarded at the last minute? That gives you the right to declare them having "poor manners"? Because your manners are so good?

Well- staying on property we had faith in the bus system so excuse us for not planning ahead better! It wasn't late when we left. There simply were no buses. I have never experienced that before. So theoretically I cannot just rent a car by snapping my fingers nor will I call a taxi with no carseats. You may argue that they are getting on a bus without a carseat but it is against the law to travel in a car without one and I am not going to do that (also for safety reasons). I never board a bus expecting everyone to rise for me and bow- I think most of us were merely pointing out that common courtesy barely exists anymore. If someone needs to sit more than me then I will always give up my seat. We have become a "me" generation and I think that is sad. My children will be taught to have courtesy for others. So one day when you are old and gray and are hobbling around WDW- if you get on a bus and there are no seats and my kids are on it as well- you can rest assured that they will offer you theirs.

 

[taximomfor4]

I think most of us were merely pointing out that common courtesy barely exists anymore. If someone needs to sit more than me then I will always give up my seat. We have become a "me" generation and I think that is sad. My children will be taught to have courtesy for others. So one day when you are old and gray and are hobbling around WDW- if you get on a bus and there are no seats and my kids are on it as well- you can rest assured that they will offer you theirs.

I think an important point to make is that courtesy is not the same for everyone. Even the US has different regions. Courtesy in one region is not courtesy in another. Not to mention people from other countries. Which is why we wait for another bus. We don't presume to know who will be on the full bus, and what their individual values and manners are. We don't get the least bit agitated if we are stuck standing holding our youngest kids. Maybe my view is a bit different, because I have lived in other countries, I don't know. I just know that I have met many very kind, considerate people from all over the world but their manners and mine are not always the same.

In southwest France, it was considered horribly rude to have one hand in your lap when eating. In the Brittany region of France, it horrified the villagers if someone crossed their silverware across their plate when finished eating.

DIfferent beliefs are not necessarily "good" and "bad" - they might just be "different."

That said, my son has wonderful manners. He is 6. He holds doors for strangers pushing strollers, etc. He offers to help carry things. He says "please" and "thank you" to strangers. He asks to give his seat to others on WDW buses -- to which I reply that I am not ready to let him (which means that I consider him much safer in a seat, still.) The fact that another family might get on the bus after us and be standing, and see my family in seats and immediately label my son as NOT courteous is unfair. When I deem him ready to more safely stand on a moving bus, you (a general you, not you personally) are free to have his seat. In the meantime, we will brave the nasty, condescending looks the people standing on the buses send our way and know in our hearts that we are doing the right thing for our family by waiting for a bus with available seats.

 

[my4kids]

To the poster who said that sometimes waiting for another bus isn't always an option. There is "always" another option. You could plan ahead better, you could rent a car, or you could get a taxi. We have gotten a taxi at times, because we've realized that we've stayed too long in the parks, that we've gotten over tired, that my arthritic, 71 year old Mother can't stand,and my son is too tired. So, we've spent $13 for a taxi back to the hotel. I would never board a bus, expecting to get a seat, and then have the nerve to call other riders "rude" and "inconsiderate" because they didn't give up their seat for me. What if they had waited 30 extra minutes for that seat and you boarded at the last minute? That gives you the right to declare them having "poor manners"? Because your manners are so good?

To everyones saying "you shouldn't have gotten on the bus if it was full" Haven't you ever been near the very front of the line at Disney and the bus finally pulls up and you jump on to find a seat only to find that the bus is full and people have boarded after you and you are trapped and can't get off?

 

[robinb]

So theoretically I cannot just rent a car by snapping my fingers nor will I call a taxi with no carseats. You may argue that they are getting on a bus without a carseat but it is against the law to travel in a car without one and I am not going to do that (also for safety reasons).

Taxis are exempt from car seat laws. Of course, it's safer to ride with a car seat/booster seat but you would not be breaking the law.

 

[Lesley]

I have been to WDW in various states of pregnancy and with kids of every age from a few weeks old to 11yo....a few times we've had uncomfortable rides standing and carrying sleeping children back to the resort. But the thing is...we chose to ride rather than wait. I never expect that someone will give us their seat. Many times a very kind person will offer....but I don't expect it. I made the choice to get on the crowded bus.

Also, on the issue of kids taking a seat...a few times I've chosen to let my young toddler (its happened with both my dd's) keep her seat because the alternative would be to have a kicking, screaming toddler on a crowded bus. Usually at park closing this is a non-issue as she's asleep in my arms...but there are times when the bus gets crowded earlier in the day or heading to the parks. My older kids prefer to stand most of the time, so I figure it evens out. I just figure its not the time to make a point to a child too young to understand and make everyone else endure the result. I do always check to see if the toddler is willing to sit on my lap....but that's not always the case.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

"Recently, after he was given a "feminist" scolding by a women for holding the door, my 13yo asked (privately, after we got home) "Mom, not all women are ladies, huh?"




So you let your little attitude-lippy teenager say that since a woman was trying to tell him that just because she is a woman doesn't mean she can't open a door herself, she is not a lady? You actually let your sons think and talk like that?

Ummm, yeah, the 50s are calling, they want their idealogy back.

IF YOUR SON OPENS A DOOR FOR ME I WOULD LET HIM KNOW THE EXACT SAME THING. FYI. I have arms. Thank you very much.

Now if he holds the door behind him for others, women AND men, *thats* polite. But picking out women and opening the door for them? And then being offended because someone points out that she is perfectly capable???? PLEASE.

If my son made such a comment about ladies vs women, I'd seriously think about backhanding him. And then making him read The Feminie Mystique.

TIA! NFT!

 

[Evil Queen]

We will wait for the next bus, if we are ready and able to have a seat. Well, at least 2 seats. My older boys don't mind standing but DS10 and I want the seats, we both have medical problems that don't make it that we MUST sit, but it is much more comfortable and safer for all concerned.

If I get on a crowded bus (normally why I try to take the car) that is MY choice, I don't expect someone to give up their seat just because I HAD to get on that bus. I also, feel that way, if I wait for a bus to assure a seat, but you decide you can't wait, guess what? I'm not giving up my seat.

Not trying to be mean, but facts is facts. Everyone is trying to get somewhere.........

 

[DaisyD]

To everyones saying "you shouldn't have gotten on the bus if it was full" Haven't you ever been near the very front of the line at Disney and the bus finally pulls up and you jump on to find a seat only to find that the bus is full and people have boarded after you and you are trapped and can't get off?

This is what I do to avoid that. I board the bus but my mom is directly behind me. She is blocking the doorway while I check to see if there is a seat for her to sit in. If not then I simply tell the driver the situation and that we will wait for another bus. I then back off and wait for the next bus. We have never been trapped on the bus. To do so when I know my mother NEEDS to sit is just plain stupidity on my part if I were to let this happen.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I must say I am pretty lucky. We have been to WDW with small kids, and with be being prenant too. In almost every instance somone kindly has offered me a seat. On the same trip (sometimes on the very same bus) my friend almost never was offered a seat. I guess I chalk this up to me smiling and making eye contact with people, that and I seem to have much better luck in genral then her with people.

I know DH has spent MANY a night holding a sleeping older child (3 to 5 years old) and a double stroller standing up on a busy bus. Not an easy thing to do. For this reason we started taking the car at night to any place by MK (and sometimes MK.) Of course we don't have a car every time, so that isn't always an option.

Oh and to all the people who have kindly offered me a seat or shared with a child so I could have one thank you. I will be (and have) returned the favor.

Oh, and sometimes waiting for the next bus doesn't help. Often the busses are full when they show up at bus stops. If your bus stop is the last at a big resort, it *could* be full every time it gets to you.

 

[my4kids]

This is what I do to avoid that. I board the bus but my mom is directly behind me. She is blocking the doorway while I check to see if there is a seat for her to sit in. If not then I simply tell the driver the situation and that we will wait for another bus. I then back off and wait for the next bus. We have never been trapped on the bus. To do so when I know my mother NEEDS to sit is just plain stupidity on my part if I were to let this happen.

Wow, this just shows how different we all are in the world. See, if your Mom was blocking me from getting on the bus, and holding up the whole line and the whole bus, I would think that was rude. That would seriously irritate me. It would bother me that everyones time on the bus was not as important as your needs. Even though you are doing it for a reason that you think is being "curtious to people so that they do not have to give your mother their seat" i would just see it as being rude. I am not trying to argue with you for doing this, just pointing out that we all see different situations as rude (obviously) and we are all coming from different places.

If a man opened a door for me, I would never be offended that they were trying to belittle me as a woman, and I consider myself a feminist. I would just think they were being kind...(now if they called me "girlie" as I went through the door, they might have a problem.) I often open doors for men and women...especially if they have full hands etc. I am never offended by any kind act, only by people holding me up, not caring about other needs over their own, not caring that I am struggling when they could easily help me etc. this is just taking the womens movement to far. We can be equal and still be kind to each other.

 

[ducklite]

Have you been pregnant before?

I have and rode the city bus back and forth to work during my entire pregnancy, and rarely got a seat. I just fail to see what the big deal is about being pregnant.

If you are healthy enough to spend a day on your feet touring around WDW, then you are healthy enough to stand on a bus for ten minutes.

Anne

 

[DaisyD]

Wow, this just shows how different we all are in the world. See, if your Mom was blocking me from getting on the bus, and holding up the whole line and the whole bus, I would think that was rude. That would seriously irritate me. It would bother me that everyones time on the bus was not as important as your needs. Even though you are doing it for a reason that you think is being "curtious to people so that they do not have to give your mother their seat" i would just see it as being rude. I am not trying to argue with you for doing this, just pointing out that we all see different situations as rude (obviously) and we are all coming from different places. .

What would be rude was if my mom and I boarded the bus, couldn't get her a seat, and then made everyone get back out of our way so my mom could get off the bus. My mom can barely make it up the steps. She is good at walking but with two bad knees steps are a nightmare for her. When I say she is blocking the doorway then she is just trying to get up the steps. It takes her a long while to creep up those steps. By the time I have hopped on the bus,did a quick looksee, and got back off, my mom has just now gotten one foot on the first step. Let me tell you that if you don't like it, tough luck. Deal with it. My mom has a real disability. You haven't met "rude" until someone gives my 70 plus year old mother a dirty look for blocking the doorway. I've met the type before. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the nasty comments and saw the ugly eye rolling simply because my mom has a hard time getting up the steps. These people are in such a hurry, pushing and shoving, and acting like animals. Believe me when I tell you that I have no qualms of putting such rude and ignorant people in the place right then and there.

 

[ducklite]

Well- staying on property we had faith in the bus system so excuse us for not planning ahead better! It wasn't late when we left. There simply were no buses. I have never experienced that before. So theoretically I cannot just rent a car by snapping my fingers nor will I call a taxi with no carseats.

FYI--Any taxi stand--or even another cab at WDW can call for a cab equipped with car seats.

Also if you wait more than 20 minutes for a bus, you can ask the next bus that pulls in headed anywhere or even marked *SPECIAL* to call dispatch and let them know you've been waiting for awhile. They will send another bus.

Anne

 

[LSUDis]

Does anyone else think that it's a bit dangerous for young children to stand when the bus is moving? They can't reach the "standing straps" to help brace themselves. I know that I have worried about my exhausted children standing up on a moving bus with nothing but clumsy me to hold onto--and with some of those turns (shudder)...(they have inherited my clumsiness).

We don't have city buses anywhere near where we live, so they aren't used to riding a bus in which they stand, either.

So, if I see young children, I'll give them my seat or let them squeeze in with my two.

So, young children sitting when others are standing doesn't bother me. . .I think that's a safety issue.
but....
if you are healthy and someone is pregnant or older needs a seat, give it to them...it all comes back around on you. Just imagine...if our feet and legs hurt, how does an older person feel? I would feel so bad if I were sitting and I saw an older person trying to maintain their balance by holding onto those straps over their heads. I would hear my mother's voice in my head, berating me for not being polite to my elders.

With pregnant women. . .all of us mothers know that the sudden weight gains of pregnancy wreck havoc on our knees and ankles. Plus, the additional fluids that we have during pregnancy adds to bloated legs and ankles. Then, our joints are loosened up in preparation for labor, which makes us less than graceful and balanced...these reasons are why I would give up my seat to a pregnant woman....sheer empathy.

Kindness to others is never wrong.

 

[fakereadhed]

Ummm, yeah, the 50s are calling, they want their idealogy back.

If my son made such a comment about ladies vs women, I'd seriously think about backhanding him. And then making him read The Feminie Mystique.

I'm sure boys everywhere would love to read The Feminine Mystique.

I must have missed the memo about women's rights excluding being grateful to others for kindness. While I open my own doors, if someone opens one for me it will be a sad day when I get angry with them for being kind to me. Not gonna happen.