Pre-K bullying

[DizBelle]

I dunno. I don't want a stranger "discpline' my child. To each there own

Ok, so for every incident involving your child, you will have to be called to the daycare or school to deal with it since you don't want others disciplining your child.

I don't see anything wrong with the 3 yo mom telling the 5 year old to stop pushing the 3 yo. She then immediately got the teacher to handle it. Sounds appropriate to me.

 

[DizBelle]

I agree! This is hardly bullying. It is kids being (ill behaved) kids. Bullying is so much more systematic and targeted. The "bad" kid would have pushed any kid who was there interrupting their play off the slide. It just happened that the OP's friends kid was there at the time. Poor behavior but hardly premeditated towards this child.

My neighbor's daughter is being bullied and a one-off incident of being pushed out of the way is nothing compared to the torture that she is enduring.

That said, I do think the mother was right to tell the kids hands off. She didn't need to be psycho but I'd expect a parent say something in that situation if the teacher missed it.

Kids also need to speak up for themselves. The need to say "DON'T TOUCH ME!" "DON'T PUSH ME!" in a loud assertive voice.

If this kid isn't a bully yet, he's on his way. Trying to stop it now isn't a bad idea.

 

[happygirl]

Ok, so for every incident involving your child, you will have to be called to the daycare or school to deal with it since you don't want others disciplining your child.

I don't see anything wrong with the 3 yo mom telling the 5 year old to stop pushing the 3 yo. She then immediately got the teacher to handle it. Sounds appropriate to me.

I want the teachers to deal with it. I don't some other kids mom yelling at my child. So you think it's okay for a grown adult woman to yell at a small child

 

[Kim&Chris]

If this kid isn't a bully yet, he's on his way. Trying to stop it now isn't a bad idea.

See, I agree, and not just because she's my sister. I think it's a good thing that the child was "caught" and will likely not do it again. Hopefully not to any other child, not just my nephew. If the child is this way at 5, I can't imagine how he'll be as a teenager. We've all seen it. My sister simply told the kid, sternly, to keep his hands off of her boy.

 

[Kim&Chris]

I want the teachers to deal with it. I don't some other kids mom yelling at my child. So you think it's okay for a grown adult woman to yell at a small child

I don't entirely disagree with you, but what happens when the teachers don't see it? Then the kids get away with this nonsense. And do it again, and again. I know how you are feeling about this subject, but I do feel as though my sister had a right to tell the kid to keep his hands off her son. A 3 year old has no chance against a 5 year old, so now maybe he can play in peace.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Yes. If my kid had been misbehaving and had been seen by another adult and the adult yelled at him, I'd have had no problem with that. As a matter-of-fact, I'd have thanked the other adult and yelled at my kid again.

I totally agree with you on that one. IF my child was being a bully or pushing/shoving, etc, I would want some adult to reprimand her and let her know that that type of behavior is unacceptable.

My middle DD is being bullied in 7thgrade. Going on 3, almost 4 months now. It is horrible. One of the bullies started with her in first grade...........they do learn young!! Some parents just don' want to think their child could possibly be a bully and protect them. In my opinion, it is doing a big disservice to your child. At some point, I believe, bullies will get their just!! What goes around comes around is a motto I fimly believe in.

I hope your nephew is doing well..............makes me sad.........

 

[mjkacmom]

See, I agree, and not just because she's my sister. I think it's a good thing that the child was "caught" and will likely not do it again. Hopefully not to any other child, not just my nephew. If the child is this way at 5, I can't imagine how he'll be as a teenager. We've all seen it. My sister simply told the kid, sternly, to keep his hands off of her boy.

Although the behavior of this boy was not acceptable, it is very common for boys this age to push others out of their way. I don't know if you have children, but 2 of my 5 are boys, so I've been around a LOT of them. Impulse control seems to come later for little boys. I don't think this incident means that this kid will be a teen bully.

 

[jpaxton1118]

I think what your sister did was right and good for her. Everything has got to be so pc now a days. I can tell you that there was a boy who bullied my son in prek everyday. It started with pushes and name calling and ended up with the kid taking a huge chunk out of my son's back! And it all started with a little pushing. I can tell you right now if my son was acting like a little jerk then someone should tell him to stop and yes I said jerk because guess what people, kids can be jerks also.

 

[RadioNate]

I hardly think the 5 year old was destined for Juvie based on pushing a kid on the slide when he was 5. Yes it was bad behavior and absolutely should be corrected but to say this kid will be a terror his entire life based on this is silly.

5 year old boys are impulsive and physical. They push, the shove, the hit and YES they should be and need to be taught otherwise but to say this is some kind of precursor to teenage delinquency is silly.

Bullying these days isn't the bullying of our youth. It just isn't. Pushing a younger kid out of your way isn't nice but it isn't the systematic taunting and threats of modern bullying.

 

[tasha99]

In my opinion, that wasn't the way to handle it at all. I would have talked to the boys, and either gotten the teacher or not, depending on how my discussion was going (not yelling, but more asking why did you push him? Would you like it if someone did that to you? Can you say you're sorry? Let's remember to play like friends, etc). I don't think yelling at kids over rough play is productive or even good parenting. I know if a stranger just started going off on my son, I would be very upset. Not every, or even most, kids are born courteous and thoughtful of others--they have to be taught that.

 

[java]

There were actually two teachers there, with the kids in the mornings during this pre-start playtime. The kids are permitted to come a bit early so they can play a bit & get a bit of exercise. My sister said the teachers just didn't see it; not their fault at all. They're normally very attentive and careful, they simply weren't looking in that direction at the time.

Again though this is PRE START TIME so the teachers are not there in a supervisory role. If your sister wants to make sure that he's safe on the playground during this time SHE should stay with him. My son's teacher is there before school "officially starts" but I wouldn't think of dumping him on her early just because she's there. Sorry but I think the safest thing is for your sister to either skip this time or stay and watch.

 

[ilovejack02]

You know kids will be kids. I would have had fit if your sister yelled at my child like that, She had no right to say anything to that child. She should have got the teacher.

OH no.. any child that continues to touch my child in an aggressive manner will be quickly told to keep hands off by me if I happen to catch it. If it is just a one time thing.. kids do these things, I would leave it alone, but if i saw it happen several times in a row, I would quickly say something.

Not yell.. but say something lol. Kids at that age do hit etc, and have to be reminded sometimes to back off.

 

[mjkacmom]

OH no.. any child that continues to touch my child in an aggressive manner will be quickly told to keep hands off by me if I happen to catch it. If it is just a one time thing.. kids do these things, I would leave it alone, but if i saw it happen several times in a row, I would quickly say something.

Not yell.. but say something lol. Kids at that age do hit etc, and have to be reminded sometimes to back off.

I think she was right to talk to the child, but not scare him to death. How would she have felt if her child was the pusher? It's not acceptable for teachers to scream at kids, and I try very hard not to scream at my kids when they push or hit each other. Adults should not scream at children.

 

[ilovejack02]

I think she was right to talk to the child, but not scare him to death. How would she have felt if her child was the pusher? It's not acceptable for teachers to scream at kids, and I try very hard not to scream at my kids when they push or hit each other. Adults should not scream at children.

You did notice, I said not yell in there right?
I was just responding to the fact that you mentioned,

"She had no right to say anything to that child. She should have got the teacher."

Im not for people yelling at kids at all, but will admit I once went off on a prob 5 or 6 yr old child.
He was dumping sand all over my oldest and after several times of being asked to please stop, very nicely and moving my child away from him he wandered over and did it again. At that point, I lost my cool and yelled STOP. He quickly stopped and left my little one alone for the rest of the day.

She prob just freaked out hopefully will think about how to handle it better if something like this happens again. We all know how it feels the first time our babies get smacked or pushed by another child.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Again though this is PRE START TIME so the teachers are not there in a supervisory role. If your sister wants to make sure that he's safe on the playground during this time SHE should stay with him. My son's teacher is there before school "officially starts" but I wouldn't think of dumping him on her early just because she's there. Sorry but I think the safest thing is for your sister to either skip this time or stay and watch.

Excuse me, but how do you know this is PRE START TIME? Do you know the exact set up of every school situation and the exact role of the teacher at that time of the morning? And she isn't dumping him on anyone, so please do not insinuate that. How rude and presumptuous.

 

[mjkacmom]

You did notice, I said not yell in there right?
I was just responding to the fact that you mentioned,

"She had no right to say anything to that child. She should have got the teacher."

Im not for people yelling at kids at all, but will admit I once went off on a prob 5 or 6 yr old child.
He was dumping sand all over my oldest and after several times of being asked to please stop, very nicely and moving my child away from him he wandered over and did it again. At that point, I lost my cool and yelled STOP. He quickly stopped and left my little one alone for the rest of the day.

She prob just freaked out hopefully will think about how to handle it better if something like this happens again. We all know how it feels the first time our babies get smacked or pushed by another child.

I never said that - I think she had every right to tell the child to stop, but not "yell loudly," as stated by the OP.

 

[java]

Excuse me, but how do you know this is PRE START TIME? Do you know the exact set up of every school situation and the exact role of the teacher at that time of the morning? And she isn't dumping him on anyone, so please do not insinuate that. How rude and presumptuous.

You are the one that said before school time- 15 minutes before starting. So I thought your words meant that was early.Sorry if you thinks that's rude I think it's rude to drop your kids early at a school. To assume that they'll watch him anyway because they are there. That is presumptuous.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

You know kids will be kids. I would have had fit if your sister yelled at my child like that, She had no right to say anything to that child. She should have got the teacher.

No kids will not be kids. If someone was pushing my child around and I see it, I'm not going to calming go and get the teacher or tell the child calmly, "now little Jimmy that's not nice." I'm going to say something and yes I will say it loudly. Guess what, I bet that kid won't mess with her nephew again. I'm my child's advocate and I'm going to stand up for her, in addition to telling her that it's wrong to push another child, I'm going to tell the other child that it's wrong to push mine. If every parent taught their kids manners then other moms wouldn't have to.

 

[Kim&Chris]

You are the one that said before school time- 15 minutes before starting. So I thought your words meant that was early.Sorry if you thinks that's rude I think it's rude to drop your kids early at a school. To assume that they'll watch him anyway because they are there. That is presumptuous.

Not that I owe you any sort of detailed explanation of his school's set-up, but no one assumes that anyone will watch anyone (think: that's why she took matters into her own hands). The parents are encouraged to bring the children early so they can play with their friends and become acclamated & ready for the day ahead. There are two teachers in the yard to watch the children, but as you may have read, they did not see this incident. Tell me something.. I don't understand how you consider dropping a child off to his pre-school as dumping a child, and I really can't imagine how you twisted the situation into my sister assuming someone will watch her child for her, when I never even eluded to that. Sheesh. Incredible. Well, I hope this is satisfactory. If not, there are plenty of other threads.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Why is it that the term "Kids will be kids" when used in these types circumstances are usually stated by the trouble makers parents? This is the attitude of the bully's parents in my cul de sac for sure. It is NOT my attitude, and should not be Carte Blanche for kids to pick on others and behave badly towards them. If I was the parent in the OP's situation I would have done the same thing, hopefully not screaming, but my voice would most definitely be different than my normal speaking voice.

It really surprises me with all the post here stating they would be very upset with the parent correcting the pushing boy. I must be crazy, because I would be upset with my child who was doing the pushing.