Not much has changed. But I'd been thinking about having children since I was a pre-teen, had a great mom, and I was older when I married and had DS. Lots of time to think aobut it and see the realities of my friends and their kids, and lots of alone time to think about what ELSE my friends could have been doing....
The one thing has changed involves TV. I was raised with an old TV and antenna only, and I'm as old as Sesame Street is. That's all we were allowed to watch. That was mainly b/c of what else was on TV at the time...lots and lots of news coverage of the Vietnam War...my mom just flat out didn't trust the other channels. Electric Company, when it came on, was also allowed.
And when I had DS I figured it would be the same. Except...Sesame Street is AWFUL now. Loud, stupid storylines, and they made the Snuffleuphagus real. Whatever. I found that the cable shows were far far better. And there are so many good movies...
But I never was vocal about that.
The thing I WAS vocal about pre-kid was DVDs. Specifically...I worked at
amazon from '99 to '02, and during that first year I was there, there was a nasty issue that happened at a DVD-making facility. Seems some employee went off the deep end, and put an extremely inappropriate movie onto discs that were supposed to be a Disney movie. And I got SO many calls from parents and grandparents who got the movie, put it in the DVD player, and then left the room, only to come back to traumatized or very confused kids a bit later. I vented to everyone (co-workers...not the customers...the customers had a valid complaint, though not amazon's fault)! How could those parents/grands just put in a movie and NOT watch it with their kids, blah blah blah.
Just realized the other day that THAT has changed. We watch a movie the first time he sees it with DS, and further times if he wants it, but other than that, we don't sit and stare at the screen with him.
So if we watched a movie from the library, then bought it, we wouldln't be watching it through with him, and a surprise like that could happen (though it's a small condo, we'd probably HEAR the difference if the movie on the disc were wrong).
One study I saw concluded that children under 2 had like 6 fewer words when they were exposed to TV. I'll totally take that over a screaming child! lol
Most just concluded that there was potential for an effect but more research was needed.
Ooh, interesting.
Considering that my son actively learns from TV, and he started talking much much more after watching Blues Clues a few times (we were just thinking about wondering about considering if we should perhaps worry in the next year or so, LOL), he's either an exception or those studies are a bit "off".
If you have a tantrum in the store, we leave and you don't get to come back.
If you're crying, you better have a reason for it.
If you slam your door, no more door.
DH's brother lied about grades. His shoulder length hair got shaved down.
My dad's (and DH's too) favorite punishment for not cleaning my room was that all my toys and books on the ground went into a plastic bag. I didn't see them again.
Just so you're not totally shocked when the reality of the above thoughts shows up....a couple thoughts for you.
Kids throw tantrums *in order to leave stores*. Not all, and not always, but often enough. So by leaving the store, you are *often* punishing NO ONE BUT YOURSELF. And you've created another trip for yourself. With my guy, tantrums are from too little food, too little sleep, and/or inappropriate foods. Fix those things, no tantrums (most of the time).
Kids have very weird reasons for crying. Try to have empathy for what THEIR reasons are. Kids are very very different from grownups. They have thoughts that make no sense to adults.
No more door also means no more privacy for adults, who are used to putting kids to sleep and being able to watch their own movies, have private conversations, etc etc. In our house, door-slamming creates yet another exciting time for me to retell what happened to my finger when a door slammed on it (brother and I were fighting and the door was involved), and honestly, I'm the only person who thinks that story is fascinating.
Hair cutting and grades have nothing to do with each other; kids more often learn better from natural consequences. Unless of course he'd been told that his hair would be cut as a response to bad grades. (what an odd conversation that would have been)
Your dad punished his own checkbook for that one! We've put toys into timeout (putting DS into timeout Does Not Work) and that's pretty effective, and doesn't mean we've thrown away our money.
You might end up with a kidlet who responds perfectly to the way you and your husband were raised. We did NOT end up with a kid that we could parent either way we were raised. It's worth knowing that that can happen, b/c we (especially me) were shocked!
My husband's family was all about screaming and hitting...that causes absolute freakouts in DS, the yelling part, and I can't even imagine what might happened if we believed in hitting. Actually, I can imagine...DS was in a biting phase as an older baby, and once I was so frustrated and freaked and *in pain* that I bit him back...I looked at his eyes as I did it...and could pretty much see the LEARNING that took place..."aha, so biting IS acceptable around here, eh?" It was a BAD moment, and it took far longer to break him of the biting b/c I had done it to him.
My family...mom was basically single from when I was around 2, and it turns out that my brother and I were very responsible kids with lots of comprehension. We also believed firmly in my mom's "do it or else" look, and she NEVER had to "or else" with us. My son, however, thinks my "do it or else" look is *hilarious*, while my silly faces can cause near hysterics! It's very odd. And we can talk things over but 2 minutes later he's forgotten everything, etc etc.
So you might end up with a kid who complies with your parents' ways of doing things...but you might find yourself making it all up on your own! Have fun with the process!
My dad always said you should bury them when they're 5 and dig them up again when they're 25.
That is one thing that bothers me about some parents of one child who think because something worked for their child that's what will work for every child. I have found that my techniques have to be completely different for each of my children to be effective.
My second child was a dream baby. Never cried, hit all her milestones on time, cooed and smiled and generally charmed the socks off everybody. Had she been my first I would been in SHOCK when my DS23 came along--he was a high maintenance kid from the womb! nothing I ever did was right. Raising John has been like riding a bucking bronco. After him, I thought I could do anything!
I have put the poor kid in the tub, wrapped a towel around him and forced medicine down him, only to have him puke it right back up. I blame his father, DH has a strong gag reflex too. Thank goodness he can finally swallow pills. Up to now we have relied on suppositories and shots!
We had a good laugh over that.
And the funny thing is that parenting is a fluid thing. There is some flexibility that's involved. There isn't a set rule of instructions. Some things are subject to change. 
