Prayers and PD for my mom--UPDATE Thursday PM pg. 6

[lizdotcom99]

Karen,
I don't know what to say. What a hard place to be in right now. May God give you and your siblings the guidence needed to make such a tuff decision. May he also fill you with peace that you have made the right one!!! {{{{{{{{hugs to you my friend}}}}}} Sending lots of pixie dust your direction.

 

[CRB#33]

You are in my prayers!

I pray that the right answers come to you as face decisions.

Take care!

 

[cgcw]

Originally posted by TLinden16
I mean, how do you decide something like this? How do you balance between not wanting to give up on her, and not wanting her to suffer?

Time will tell and the doctors will steer you in the right direction. We went through this with my FIL just last year. It was very, very difficult but as time went on, the doctors became more and more honest regarding his outcome. When we saw him deteriorating day by day, we knew the doctors were right. As very hard as it was to get to that point, we also knew my FIL would not have wanted live with the quality of life he would have had. Difficult as it was, we had to do what was best for him and feel peaceful with the decision.

I will say prayers for your Mom.

 

[Dan Murphy]

You said it, Karen, continued faith in God. Continued prayers for a good outcome on this. Best wishes are with your mom, you and siblings.

Dan

 

[Big V]

I will keep praying for your Mom Karen. You might want to check with the hospital and see if they have some type of Social Worker who can help you out with a Living Will. When my Mom was in the hospital, she helped us out a lot! And thanks everyone for the well wishes for my Dad.

 

[helenabear]

Continued prayers for your mom, yourself and your family

 

[Lorix2]

Karen,

It's so hard to see your mom going thru so much. My mom was intubated in the ICU for almost a week after her stroke for the same reasons - very touch and go.

She was left with permanent damage - aphasia and apraxia. She can do everything except retrieve vocabulary from her memory bank (aphasia) and form the words (apraxia). But she has 30-50 words she says all the time to communicate. You wouldn't know it at all to look at her.

She had Bells Palsy briefly and it went away over time.

I continue to pray for your mom and your family. This will be a very long road for you all.

(((HUGS)))

 

[mickeyboat]

My prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Please try to get some rest today, maybe you and your siblings can take turns being at the hospital. You need to maintain your strength.

We went through this almost 2 years ago with my MIL. The doctors were very helpful and honest when pressed as to what her potential outcome would be. HOWEVER, we really had to press hard to get someone to sit down and talk to us. It was a weekend and her regular Dr. was not there.

We eventually decided to let her go. She was a fighter though, she lived for over 12 hours after meds were stopped and the respirator was turned down. She died with her husband and all of her children around her. I was fortunate enough to be asked to be there as well. She was a special person in my life and I miss her terribly but I am confident that we made the right decision.

The nursing staff in the ICU was extremely comforting ot us. They answered every question we had and made sure we had everything we needed (tissues, tranquilizers).

May God be with you and your family.

Denae

 

[Towncrier]

Perhaps your experience will help others learn about the importance of getting a living will, regardless of your age or your health. Continued prayers for you and your family, especially you mom and her caregivers.

 

[luvmydogs]

Continued prayers for your family's strength. I am so very, very sorry...

 

[NHAnn]

Oh my Karen, I just saw this!...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom!!

What hospital is she in?

I can relate...5 years ago my mom had a CVA and stroked during brain surgery to clip 2 aneurysms. She was at Mass General in nuero ICU for several weeks, and the neuro and medical floors for several weeks more with pneumonia and other complications. Happy to say 5 years later we just celebrated a wonderful Christmas with her..though she still has some minor physical and moderate cognitive impairment....we really thought we were losing her 5 years ago.



((HUGS)) and sending you wishes for peace and strength. PM me if you need an ear.

 

[TLinden16]

Originally posted by NHAnn
Oh my Karen, I just saw this!...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom!!

What hospital is she in?

My mom is in Mass General. She's in the Neurological ICU unit. The doctors and nurses have been really wonderful. They've spent a lot of time with us, talking to us about what's going on, what could happen, what's involved with the treatment, etc. And they've also put up with my very large family. Yesterday, there were nine of us at the hospital most of the day, and they were very patient about letting us go in and spend time with my mom.

Yesterday when we got to the hospital, it was very stressful. Things seemed very bleak. The nurse called to get a Catholic priest to come up and do annointing of the sick. We really felt that we had to get my other siblings up to the hospital sooner than planned. Four of my five siblings, my sister-in-law, my mother's sisters, and one of my uncles were up at the hospital, and we really had an emotional few hours up at the hospital. Two of my sisters and I were in the room when my aunts and uncle got there, and it was very difficult seeing them see my mom for the first time.

We had a meeting with the doctors, and we're all feeling a little bit more optimistic about my mother's condition and chances for a recovery. We spent a lot of time talking with them about what we felt my mom could handle as far as treatment goes. One of my aunts sat in on that meeting, and she agreed with us on what we felt she would be able to handle, so that made us all feel a little more comfortable with our decisions.

We've also been assigned a wonderful social worker. She spent a lot of time talking to us yesterday, and really talked to us a lot about what we need to do for ourselves. She said we really need to try to keep some normalcy in our lives right now. She really talked to me a lot, and said that it's important for me to know when I need to take a step away from the situation, as I've been the one who's been taking care of my mom as her health has deteriorated. She also talked to my sisters about how to talk to their kids about this, and gave them some books and pamphlets about it. It really helped.

For right now, we really just have to get her through the next few days. There is another three day window where they have to keep close watch on the swelling of the brain, and if it doesn't swell too much, things will be much better for her. We also have to hope that the respirator is just a temporary thing as the doctor's said before. They are trying to wean her off of it, and haven't been successful yet, but we'll just wait and see.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers, and thank you for listening to me. The support of my DIS friends is really helping me through this.

Karen

 

[Marla Hellwig]

Karen - my thoughts are with you - hugs

 

[pumba]

you and your family.........remember to take care of yourself too....you are very important to us too.....hugs

 

[Big V]

I will keep your Mom in my prayers Karen. I'm glad to see you got a social worker to help you.

 

[Robinrs]

Sounds like you have a wonderful hospital that deals with the whole person, not just the problem.

God bless, Karen and remember, we're here for you.

Robinrs

 

[NHAnn]

Karen, neuro ICU at MGH is literally among the best in the world. First rate care for the patient and the family.

Your description of yesterday at the hospital gave me goosebumps....I have been there, literally and figuratively, large family issues and all.

Do take care of yourself physically and spiritually as best you can during these next few days. We'll be praying for your family.

((HUGS)) Ann

 

[KathyTX]

Karen, it sounds like you have found the very best medical care available anywhere. Your mother could not be in better hands right now.

I know you've gone through a lot, and being the primary caretaker is an extremely demanding and exhausting role. I'm very proud of you right now. You are handling this situation with such grace. Your family is *so very lucky* to have you!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you every day, my little Jellybean...

 

[TLinden16]

I wasn't really planning on doing another update on my mom today, but I have a story that was pretty amazing to me, and wanted to share it. But before I get into that, I wanted to give a little background.

I went to see my mom this afternoon, and she was a lot more alert today. She's still intubated, so she was unable to talk to us, but I know that she knew we were there, and responded to us. She was opening her eyes a lot looking at me, and she was holding my hand. At one point, she squeezed my hand really hard.

My aunt and cousin were in the room with me, and while my mom was holding my hand, and I was talking to her. My aunt said something, and my mom turned her head towards the direction where my aunt was standing. I said, "Do you want to hold Aunt Mary's hand?" and my mom let go of my hand and moved her hand in the direction of where my aunt was standing. So, she's definitely aware that we are there, and she is trying to communicate with us.

One thing that they are concerned about is her heart rate. They like the heart rate to be below 100, but it soared as high as 180 last night.

So, while we were talking to my mom her heart rate soared to 150, and that's when the alarm starts to beep. It stayed that way for about 30 seconds, and then went down. It went back up to 150, and stayed that way for a couple of minutes. The nurse came into check on her, and then I turned and saw the priest from our parish standing there. Father Joe went over, and started talking to my mom. He took her hand, and prayed with us, and as he talked, her heart rate started to lower. It went down to 100-110. It was really amazing to see what a calming affect Father Joe's presence had on my mom. I really do believe that the prayers help, and that's proof.

Thanks again, everyone, for your continued thoughts, prayers, and kind words. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me. The social workers and doctors have said that it's important for us to try to have some normalcy in our lives, and the DIS is part of my normal life, so I'm sticking to this part of my normal life because it really is helping me. Writing these updates have been very theraputic for me.

Karen

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Many prayers for you and your family. Try to get some sleep if you can. I know it is hard with all of the family coming in to see your mother.

Lori