Potty Training help?

[Britt7]

I am so glad to hear that so many other parents are dealing with this as well. My DD will be three in two months and the potty training is not going well at all. She is a very bright little girl so I have been very frustrated with why she is not catching on. We have tried EVERYTHING from stickers, praise (we all do the "pee pee on the potty" dance, picked out big girl panties, even promised a PowerWheels Jeep! This last one may have backfired on us - she peed once and announced "I'm potty trained, let's go get my Jeep"- then proceeded to poop her pants while looking at them on-line! Everyone, including her pediatrician told me not to force it - she will do it when she is ready. I am also considering starting her in preschool this fall (or may wait until she is four - she is ready, I am not) She will need to be potty trained by then. I thought this might work since she is always talking about going to school, but so far no luck with the promise of school either.

 

[ProudMomTo3Boys]

I feel so good knowing I am not the only one with a stubborn kid. My first 2 boys were potty trained before 3, so I thought that my youngest would be oh so simple, but I was oh so wrong. He won't even sit on it. He did for awhile and was all excited when he peed, I even let him dump it in the toilet and clean out the potty. Then it just stopped. He just turned 3 yesterday and refuses to sit on it. He doesn't like pull ups at all and won't even think about wearing underwear. We are going to Disney in April and I think I am not even going to mention potty training anymore until we get back. I already tried the " Mickey likes boys who go on the potty." He didn't care. I am just at my wits end with this. I am gonna not bother or even ask him anymore until we get back.

 

[Matt'nMeg'sMom]

This might be unhelpful to those of you with preschoolers (sorry!) but the best advice I got was to start early.

We started putting my kids on the toilet at 9-10 months old (real toilet only - not a chamberpot). We used a cushy toilet ring with handles. We'd put them on the seat after every meal and every sleep. If they produced, lots of kisses and love. If not, no big deal. We'd just dress 'em and wait till the next meal or nap. My kids became VERY used to that schedule and produced almost every time.

The best reason to start early: they become accustomed to using the toilet before they have time to develop opinions.

Feeback: One mother told me that my kids weren't really "trained" -- that I was the one who was "trained" since I was sitting them on the toilet 6 times a day. She said that kids aren't "trained" until they do it voluntarily on their own.

She may be right about that... but I stuck with it, and my DS was completely diaper and pull-up free on his 2nd birthday AND he was using the toilet voluntarily on his own. (DD was 2 yrs, 2 months.)

 

[Sheaboys]

I potty trained 3 boys, and COLD TURKEY is the way to go. Out of 3, only 1 pooped in their underwear and it was only 1x. We used pull ups at night only. They picked out all their own underwear at the store.

It took 3 days to 1 week, that was it. If it is nice outside, I let them pee outside, made it a bit fun (we live in the woods). I have also trained them all to pee standing. I put a stool at the toilet, they lift the lid, lean over the toilet to hold the lid and pee. To poop, I got a toilet ring. Also, lots of books. They all read in the can.

 

[HerdOHuds]

Okay, I know cold turkey works with plenty of folks but I tried it A YEAR AGO and it did not go well! Granted, there are 4 I am trying to train at once, but when they would come to me with wet bottoms and I would have to try and find the pee-spot, I thought I would lose my mind. So if it works, then that is great, but if you are like me and appreciated the absorbancy of training pants, then that is just fine too!!!

We are in the midst of our 3rd attempt at training. Ella is doing a pretty good job keeping her pants dry, the boys will go in the potty when asked and Sean will independently go to the potty. Jack usually asks for a diaper about half way through the day, which is fine with me. One less pooper to worry about! Our only deadline is our trip next December when we are in WDW so I am sure we will have it figured out by then!

 

[TarzansKat]

Before this post, I was starting to wonder if you were me!! My DS is also a February baby (2/9, to be exact), an only, and starting preschool in September! We are at an impasse with the potty training. He doesn't mind going on the potty, but also doesn't mind being poopy Sometimes he fights tooth and nail to NOT have to use the potty (like first thing in the morning, he doesn't want to take his jammies off!) and sometimes he'll just do it (like before a bath). I'm thinking of waiting until it gets a little warmer and trying the run around outside in his undies. I don't want to get pee on my couch (is that so wrong?)!

I'm glad you had a good day today -- that gives me hope! We have tried everything from praise, to candy, to stickers, to promises of a big Chuck E Cheese blowout when he wears big boy pants, nothing seems to be motivating him. I guess we'll have to go cold turkey sometime this summer!

Are you sure you're not me? My DS was born on 2/7, so I feel like I am totally identifying with your post. Of course, I had success with him all morning, and my day devolved into chaos thereafter. It was really my fault, I wasn't quick enough catching the last two pees. So I guess we'll be having our good and bad days. Also, I work Wed - Sat, so today at my mother's there was no trying to pee on the potty. Sort of defeats the purpose..not a slam against mom, just tough to get us on the same page sometimes. Also he thinks he can get away with more at my mom's (and sometimes he's right!)

Anyhoo, cheers to all of you for chiming in. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me. It really makes me feel like I am not alone in the potty struggle, or the mommy struggle in general.

 

[**eeyore**]

We are in the midst of our 3rd attempt at training. QUOTE]

Hi HerdOHuds,

I just replied to your post on the Jon&Kate+8 thread! It might be to late for this, but I thought I would mention, we are also in the process of PTing our 3 yo twin DD's. They turned 3 last month. I started with one of the girls the week of their birthday. Fortunately she picked up quickly - we when cold-turkey (other than naps & nighttime). She has been PT'd for about a month now. Last Friday I started working with our other DD. She is not progressing as quickly, but I think it is a lot less stressful only having to worry about 1 piddling little girl! I've had lots of people say it's silly for me to work with them on separate schedules, but for me, I think it has been easier that doing all at once (I can only clean up so many puddles in one day! )

Best of luck to you!

BTW, we will also be at WDW in December - we are definitely using the encouraging words of "Mickey likes big girls that use the potty!". We also tell the girls that if they want to go see Mickey, they have to use the potty.

Last May, at WDW, I met a mother of twin 4 yo boys. She said she awarded them "Mickey Points" for each time they successfully used the potty. Once they accumulated enought points, they planned a trip to WDW. She said it worked great for them.

 

[Twinsmomma]

This thread caught my eye. My DD is 2 yrs 5 mths. I have twin 6 year old boys who were trained right at 2 1/2 years old. At the time my MIL had moved in with us for a couple months and insisted on doing it...GREAT! It worked out fantastic and only took about a week or two for them to really get the hang of it. Well it just so happens that my MIL is moving in with us again for a couple months (both times revolved around moving from/to another state). Well she has been saying "Grammy is going to get my girl in big girl panties". I have been thinking "NO! I am not ready for this!!" Apparently my daughter had her own plan. She woke up yesterday and stated "I not wear diapers. I not a baby". We had bought panties a few weeks ago, knowing that the event was coming soon. So, I threw a pair on her and decided to see what happened. Well 2 days in and 0 accidents. I am only crossing my fingers that this is REAL and I don't wake up at some point. This could be my "year of a million dreams" prize, HEHE.

Good luck to everyone!!!

 

[TarzansKat]

This thread caught my eye. My DD is 2 yrs 5 mths. I have twin 6 year old boys who were trained right at 2 1/2 years old. At the time my MIL had moved in with us for a couple months and insisted on doing it...GREAT! It worked out fantastic and only took about a week or two for them to really get the hang of it. Well it just so happens that my MIL is moving in with us again for a couple months (both times revolved around moving from/to another state). Well she has been saying "Grammy is going to get my girl in big girl panties". I have been thinking "NO! I am not ready for this!!" Apparently my daughter had her own plan. She woke up yesterday and stated "I not wear diapers. I not a baby". We had bought panties a few weeks ago, knowing that the event was coming soon. So, I threw a pair on her and decided to see what happened. Well 2 days in and 0 accidents. I am only crossing my fingers that this is REAL and I don't wake up at some point. This could be my "year of a million dreams" prize, HEHE.

Good luck to everyone!!!

It sounds like you received some magical pixie dust! I only wish it would go so easily for me. I can dare to dream can't I?

Seriously, congratulations. It would make my day if DS did that, but I know it won't happen, so kudos to you. Seems like you lucked out with your DD!

 

[labdogs42]

It sounds like you received some magical pixie dust! I only wish it would go so easily for me. I can dare to dream can't I?

Seriously, congratulations. It would make my day if DS did that, but I know it won't happen, so kudos to you. Seems like you lucked out with your DD!

I could use some of that pixie dust here, too! Send it my way, OK? Thanks!!

 

[Twinsmomma]

Honestly, I don't know why or how. It's so bizzare but I am definately NOT complaining. Here's a bunch of pixie dust!!!

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

I also did cold turkey woth both of my boys. We went to Target and let them pick out their own underwear, boy were they excited! I explained to them that today would be their last day as a baby with diapers, and that tomorrow they would wear underwear and go potty in th toilet like mommy and daddy. This strategy worked very well for my firstborn, we starts on Monday, and by Thursday he was fully potty trained, even at night. Now, my youngest was more of a challenge. He didn't want to stop playing to go to the bathroom, he finally got it down pat after 3 months!! So, there is no one way, each child is different.

 

[deenbrad]

My DS5 would pee in a pull up all day long if I let him wear one. Once we switched to underwear he stopped. Even at night after his bath (he wears Good Nites still), he will pee in that pull up instead of going to the potty.

 

[RRBB]

For us the goal of PTing isn't to start school since that's not an requirement/expectation where DS3 goes. But we do want DS to be PT'd by August when we go on a 15 day cruise so he can participate in the kids' club activities.

As it turns out, though, as of the beginning of the month we started down the PTing road. DS3 woke up in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago and announced to me that he would wear big boy underpants in the morning. We haven't been too forceful about it so far, but spring break starts this weekend and as long as the weather holds out we'll be spending lots of time out in the backyard in just underpants.

(Note to self: Get rid of all the diapers in the house, or rather all the diapers that fit DS.)

 

[HerdOHuds]

[Last May, at WDW, I met a mother of twin 4 yo boys. She said she awarded them "Mickey Points" for each time they successfully used the potty. Once they accumulated enought points, they planned a trip to WDW. She said it worked great for them.[/QUOTE]

Eeyore,
That starts my wheels turning! Maybe I can make a cool chart and use stickers and some scrappin' stuff . . .hmmm. . .Thanks for the idea!

 

[hammie59]

Rewards didn't work for us. Lucky for us, my son was potty trained by 3 and was able to go to preschool. Every child is different and some just take longer. I'm a big believer in not forcing the issue. At one, we made his potty available, suggeted it every once in awhile, tried the rewards (stickers, candy, whatever but those didn't really help), and eventually he went to pull ups. Then when he was really starting to make an effort, we switched to regular underwear (super hero of course).

 

[brymolmom]

I totally agree with the poster who suggests starting very early - IMO it is much easier to 'train' a child who is 18 mos - 2 years than an older one - they learn that they have POWER over you with the potty.

Anyway, that aside I waited way too long for my own ds and had many issues. One thing that was a turning point for us was to give him options. So instead of saying - go sit on the potty right now. I started saying 'OK, it's time to go potty - do you want to go in the pink bathroom or Mommy and Daddy's bathroom?'. This was huge for us and stopped a lot of the arguing over it. Giving him a choice made him feel like HE was the one deciding to do it instead of Mommy telling him to.

So- that's at least something to try for those of you who have 2 toilets in your home. If you don't -anything to give them a choice might help, for example 'Do you want to go potty before you eat your snack or after?' - this gives THEM control over when they want to do it.

Try it - it MIGHT help!

 

[fakereadhed]

Hi fellow DISers! I'm sure someone else has been through this, so I thought I'd ask for any helpful thought/suggestions for potty training?

My DS is almost 4, and what made a big difference for us is having a urinal. We got this potty:

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5301812

He thinks it is really cool, and just couldn't get the hang of sitting down and getting situated, if you know what I mean. And it actually flushes, which he likes.

We tried several rewards, but the best one is a big clear jar of jellybeans he has to walk by every day, and he gets to pick 3 every time he goes. Placing them where he can't reach, but has to look at them makes him want them more.

Good luck, but some kids need more time- don't sweat it if it doesn't happen this time. He'll get it eventually. And don't let people give you a complex about not doing a good job- you have very little control over this. People that think they do are just fooling themselves, but hey, if it makes them feel better who cares!

 

[TarzansKat]

And don't let people give you a complex about not doing a good job- you have very little control over this. People that think they do are just fooling themselves, but hey, if it makes them feel better who cares!

Awesome advice, thank you so much! Isn't this true of most situations and not just potty training! I've gotten so many opinons from various friends and family about whether or not DH and I should add to our family... some say when are you, some say you can't afford that! I just want to say enough already...your post reminds me to chill and let people think what they want...thanks!

On the opposite end, it's hard for me to get the support I need to potty train him. DH is on board, but my mom has made it pretty clear it's our job and that she will not be training him. For example, she'll ask him if he wants to go and if he says no, she doesn't try to get him to do it. Not slamming mom, I'm very grateful she's able to watch him since I carry our health insurance. (Some days though, I wish I was a SAHM again.) Frustrating because even if I try to go at it full force this weekend, if he's even on the cusp of maybe I won't do this by the time she watches him Wed while I work, I feel like I'll have lost all that work. I know it's a continual process but it feels like a setback.

And I remind myself...baby steps...

 

[brymolmom]

Awesome advice, thank you so much! Isn't this true of most situations and not just potty training! I've gotten so many opinons from various friends and family about whether or not DH and I should add to our family... some say when are you, some say you can't afford that! I just want to say enough already...your post reminds me to chill and let people think what they want...thanks!

On the opposite end, it's hard for me to get the support I need to potty train him. DH is on board, but my mom has made it pretty clear it's our job and that she will not be training him. For example, she'll ask him if he wants to go and if he says no, she doesn't try to get him to do it. Not slamming mom, I'm very grateful she's able to watch him since I carry our health insurance. (Some days though, I wish I was a SAHM again.) Frustrating because even if I try to go at it full force this weekend, if he's even on the cusp of maybe I won't do this by the time she watches him Wed while I work, I feel like I'll have lost all that work. I know it's a continual process but it feels like a setback.

And I remind myself...baby steps...

My advice would be to take a few day(s) off from work to tackle this. It will likely make you less stressed that you have to do it 'all' in one weekend. Take of whichever days will give you the most # of days to focus on it in a continuous stretch. Then, if he's doing OK - some accidents but some successes by the next time Mom watches him - just send him to her in underwear and about 5 changes of clothes.

FYI - my biggest mistake with my own ds was 'going back' and not sticking with it. I think that if you decide that you need and want to do it - go for it and do NOT turn back - even if the first few day(s) are not very successful. Just put him in underwear and be prepared to deal with the consequences.

I disagree with the pp who says we don't have much control over it - after all, we 'train' our children to eat meals at the dinner table, we 'train' them often thru a lot of trial and error to share their toys, we 'train' them what the letters of the alphabet are. This is very similar, IMO. But I do agree with the pp saying not to listen to others who critisize or anything - potty training is a TOUGH job (especially for those of us who waited until they were older unfortunately) - and it needs to be looked at as an unpleasant job that will be for a short-ish duration. Just make a plan that works best for your family and stick with it and hang in there!!!