Potty Training help?

[TarzansKat]

Hi fellow DISers! I'm sure someone else has been through this, so I thought I'd ask for any helpful thought/suggestions for potty training?

DS 3 is perfectly capable, does it every night before his bath. The problem is getting him to want to stop whatever he's doing during the day to take the time to go. I think to his mind it's much easier to just mess a diaper and have Mama clean it.

At the doctors today we discussed not forcing the issue. I'm a big advocate of when kids are ready, they'll do it on their own steam. The only problem is, I'd like to send him to two day a week preschool in September, and he has to be fully trained to go.

Doctor also mentioned that some kids, while gaining independence, still feel like they're losing part of themselves, so hard to flush poop away as they view it as part of them? Thought that was interesting, and in some ways makes sense with my little one. He has a huge issue with hair cuts...hates to see his hair falling away, and says "no, don't hurt me...no don't hurt my hair."

I hate to push him, but....I would love to have a potty trained kid. We typically go to Disney in September, so it would be great not to have to haul all the diapers this year! Thanks in advance for listening.

Also, I have tried rewards (worked for a day, after didn't care), telling him if he does it he can go to school, etc...he just does not seem interested.

 

[snubie]

I can only give you my experience with potty training and I am in no way an expert. DD will be 3 in June and she too will be starting preschool in Sept and must be potty trained.

In January, we started talking about using the potty and how much fun it would be. We gave her plenty of warning that the day was quickly approaching when she would need to use the potty. A few days before the deadline, the diaper stash mysteriously grew smaller and smaller with each passing day.

On the morning of potty training day one, there were no diapers left, just panties. We use pull-ups for naps and nighttime but went straight to panties for the awake times. The first three days were painful/messy but on day 4, something clicked. We have not had any wet accidents since day 4 or dirty accidents since day 6 (we are now at 4 weeks).

I am not sure Lauren was truly ready but I felt I needed to gently push the issue or she would never make the effort herself. I wish you luck.

 

[barnaby1]

Again no expert here but do I read in your post that he is still in diapers during the day?

If he is then my suggestion is to switch to proper "big boy" underpants.
As you said it is easier to go in the diaper than stop what he is doing.
Most children need that clear difference between diaper / pull ups and underpants to successfully (and quickly) toilet train.

Good luck with it.

 

[KayW]

WE did cold turkey too. No diapers/pullups (only at night in the beginning) just underwear. She would get a sticker if she went on the potty, but for DD that worked. Sure it was messy and even now we have some accidents, but they are few and far between now. It was heaven going to Disney without diapers, just a small stack of pullups for just in case.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Agreed, throw out the diapers and buy a bunch of cool underwear. i would put him in charge of the whole process. Also buy two laundy baskets, one for clean and one for dirty underwear. If he soils the underwear, have him put in in the dirty basket and get him a pair of clean ones. Not so fun. Might be a little messy and he might need a few baths during the day but I have seen this work almost every time when the child is over three and "knows" what he is doing.

Good luck

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Yep, agree with others...GET RID OF THE DIAPERS! He's a big boy now and putting him in diapers says he's still a baby.

We did the reward thing with our DS and it didn't work. What did work was telling him to clean up the mess on his own. Granted, mom helped a little, but we let him feel what is was like to clean up the mess.

Remember, moms have to keep laughing. Potty traiing is a long process and seems to be harder with boys than girls.

Karen

 

[Liltx]

I thought I had potty training down. My first was potty trained completely day and night by 26 months. Then came my second born. She is now one month from three and just "got it" this weekend. Still has trouble with poop but is consistent with pee. Still wets a ton at night. Just trying to say that every kid is different and he will not go to kindergarten in a diaper. I would send him to school. If he is capable but is just choosing not to he will more than likely go at school when the other kids do. Most preschools take lots of potty breaks. He probably has no concept of school and so that is not a big incentive to him. Make him wear underwear and also clean up his pee messses. When he knows that he is responsible he might surprise you.

Best of luck!
Monica

 

[pbharris4]

I did cold turkey with both of my DD's. Both were trained in less than 7 days. Seriously. With my older DD she was 3 yrs and a month and second DD was 2 yrs 6 months. I let them pick out cool underwear and got one of those seats w/ handles that go on top of the toilet seat. They peed (sp?) on the floor maybe 2 times the first day and hated the feel of it. Then we made it a game..if they felt a little pee coming out we'd race to the bathroom to see who'd get there first. Every time they went they got 2 M & M's or jelly beans or something small and not too much. What kid wouldn't want to an M & M? My friends always want to know how I got them trained so fast, but once they did what I did, it worked for them too. You just can't do it when they are like 14 months. 2.5-3 is a good age.

 

[ColleenG]

Again, I'm no expert either, but I've found the DS's are more difficult than the DD's to potty train. Our DS was a month past his 4th birthday before he actually went on the potty. He could wear a pull up and be dry for hours on end, sit endlessly on the potty, and two minutes after pee in the pull up. One day he went out to play in the back yard and 10 minutes later he came running in screaming he had to pee and went on the potty and then it just clicked for him. We tried every method in the book and nothing else worked. Maybe just try the big boy undies and see if being wet and uncomfortable is enough to make the potty more enticing. Maybe wait for the warm weather to be outside, less mess. Good luck!

 

[captainpixiedust]

Unfortunately I have no advice to offer since I'm in a very similar situation as the original poster. DS is 3.5 and and very strong-willed! We have the sticker chart and that seems to work sometimes, but other times he has no interest in getting a cool sticker. He just doesn't seem to be able to pull himself away from playing to recognize that he needs to go potty. I have a kitchen timer that I set for 25 minutes and when the timer beeps, we try to go potty. Sometimes he actually does pee (and gets rewarded with lots of hoopla and a sticker for his chart). Other times he seems very certain that he doesn't need to go... in those cases we just set the timer again. We have had limited success with this.

I am paying close attention to all of the advice being offered and will be trying some of the suggestions as well!

Thanks!

 

[teachingmyown]

We had the best success with Superhero underpants. After all, no one wants to pee or poop on either Superman or Spiderman!

Other than that, wait until they are ready (Give it a shot when you think the time is right, but if you don't meet with success after a few days then give it a rest and try again in 3-4 months. Otherwise you risk building a mental block of failure and resistance)

Pay attention to their body rhythms. Most people poop rather predictably...after getting up, after eating, just before bedtime, etc. Make sure that during those times he's not engrossed in the middle of something enthralling.

Get rid of the diapers. Get rid of the pull-ups, too, if you can handle it. My experience is that little boys aren't quite as opposed to sitting in mess as little girls, but it never hurts to use what you have.

Make it a game. We used Cheerios for target practice for the pee and tried to make big splashes with the poo. (I know, ) But hey...whatever works, right?

Something must have worked...all three are successfully "trained"

tmo,
Mom of three boys, ages 19yrs, 17yrs, and 9 yrs.

 

[Ariel8676]

I would make a really big deal and take him to the store to pick out his big boy undies..they tell him he can't pee or poop in them because then spiderman (or whatever he picks ..lol) will get dirty and you might have to throw them out. This worked for all 3 of my girls..they did not want to get Cinderella dirty.
Have a party, make a huge deal everythime he goes on the toilet..dance, sing ,give stickers.
During the day i would let him either run around naked from the waist down, or in just underwear..that way it is easier to get to the toilet. Keep giving liquids and literally ask every 20 minutes if he has to go to the bathroom, or if it has been a while just take him in and say come on time to pee. Maybe put a sticker chart next to the toilet..small sticker for pee, medium for poop and a big sticker for the end of the day, then if he goes on the toilet all day without and accident give a small reward (like M&M's or something) You may have to spend a few days at home to really get the point, but it will be worth it. You just have to be consistent..he'll get it.
Now i have girls and not boys, so i don't know if it wil be just as easy..but my girls were literally dont with diapers in like 3-4 days..and were all about 26 months. Good Luck and let us know how you make out!

 

[TarzansKat]

Thank you so much for all your replies!

You all have some excellent advice, and it's wonderful to hear success stories. I know in the long road of childhood this is a little bump, and eventually I'll be looking back and telling the story, but sometimes it can be so frustrating!

We actually already have the big boy underwear (with favorite Disney characters of course!) but he has never had the desire to wear them. He is still in pull-ups, and I'm thinking we may be one of those families that has to go cold turkey. The doctor's office recommended letting it lie for a month, not asking at all. I work Wed-Sat, and only until 1230 on Saturdays, so I have from Sat - Tues to try training him, then DH and I also have the week of July 4th off. I'm also inclined to wait for warmer weather, but part me just wants to get it over with. We do make a big deal every time he goes. Yesterday he did before his nap and I told him how proud I was of him and poured on the praise.

Thanks again guys! I will keep you posted!

 

[laughinplace199]

I think I'd take a break for a while since he doesn't have to be trained right now. Maybe he's not totally ready yet, because being ready is mental as well as phsical. Also, sometimes kids don't cooperate with these types of things because it's what you want them to do vs. what they want. If you take a break and then somehow get potty training to be his idea, things will probably go a lot smoother.

Also, although praise is great, but be careful not to overdo it. It backfires with some kids.

My first 2 kids have June birthdays. With each one, when they turned 3, I started stressing because I had less than 3 months to have them trained for preschool. When I got pregnant with my third and the doctor told me my due date was in October, I was thrilled. The very first thing that came to mind was, "This is great! I won't have to scramble to potty train him when he turns 3 because he won't be able to start school until he's almost 4!"

 

[TarzansKat]

"This is great! I won't have to scramble to potty train him when he turns 3 because he won't be able to start school until he's almost 4!"

I'm totally with you there. I also felt that way about my son, since he's a February birthday, thinking, oh, he'll be one of the older ones in his class, so I won't have to rush to train him. But as of yet, he's an only child. If I could be selfish, I would totally keep him home with me for another year. I don't think we need to rush kids off to school, I'm more of an on your own steam kind of mom (hence the potty debate), and since I work part time, 4 days a week, I really cherish my days home with him. And I absolutely hate feeling like I'm forcing him to do something.

However, that being said, my DS doesn't have a lot of interaction with other kids his age, and I'd really like to get him into an environment where he'll develop more social skills with peers as opposed to the adults who are part of his daily life. So, off to preschool we'll go. It's really only two days a week, two and half hours, so I think it's much better for us than some of these longer programs. No flames, please, just what works for my family.

 

[TarzansKat]

Okay, you all may or you may

but I have to all the potty training gods, because for some reason today, they have worked in my favor. I have been offering all day, and DS has gone. All his peeing has been on the potty, and he has not wet his pull ups at all! I've been very consistent with asking but not pushing, and he's responded well.

It started this morning. I changed him after he woke up around 700, then at 930 we left to go to an appt. Before we left there at 10:45, I decided I would change him. When I went to do that, the pull up was dry. I figure you know what, I'll just ask him. And he did! We made it home and still dry. He did poop and flat out refused to go on the potty for that. I figured, alright, one step at a time. I asked before his nap, he went again, and after, again. All day his pull-ups have been dry. I'm really excited right now

I'm sure we'll have some setbacks, but all in all it's been a good day today. Have to start somewhere.

Thank you so much for all the advice. I'll keep you posted. If my experience can help anyone else, then all the better.

Edit: Maybe I should post my issues on the DIS more often, it seems to work in my favor!

 

[abolanwoski]

A couple of friends have tried "naked" week or "pantsless" week. Since boys esp seem ok with going in underwear, they pick a week when they can just hang out at home and the kiddo goes bottomless or naked. That way, you see them going and they have a mess to be concerned with. You can even enlist them in helping to clean it up (works better with pee than poop! ) This is best if you have hard flooring throughout your house, or in warm weather when you can keep them outdoors all day. And of course, you can still do pullups at night/nap.

In addition, don't let them wait to tell you they need to go. With DD, when she started showing interest we did a little bladder training. They don't have to go often, but sit them on the potty right at waking, before lunch, dinner and bed. Unless they are nursing a sippy cup all day long, this should take care of the peeing part. As for pooping, if he goes around the same time daily, make that an additional sit session with some books. We also gave M&Ms (one for an attempt with farts! two for peeing, 3 for pooping). At >3, the vast majority of kids without underlying problems are physically capable of getting this, it's more likely a habit thing now than not.

Good luck!

 

[Jordans_Mommie]

I am so glad that someone posted this as I am in this same dilemma now. My DS is almost 4 (June) and he still wont consistently go on his own unless we are at my Granny's (I think it is the mirrors in her bathroom). He does well at daycare, but at home he will not stop what he is doing to go and will not poop on the pot at all. He has even gone so far as to poop and dump the poop in the toilet.

I am at the end of my rope and the only thing left is prayer. His pediatrician doesn't seem worried, but I am losing my mind!

 

[TarzansKat]

I am so glad that someone posted this as I am in this same dilemma now. My DS is almost 4 (June) and he still wont consistently go on his own unless we are at my Granny's (I think it is the mirrors in her bathroom). He does well at daycare, but at home he will not stop what he is doing to go and will not poop on the pot at all. He has even gone so far as to poop and dump the poop in the toilet.

I am at the end of my rope and the only thing left is prayer. His pediatrician doesn't seem worried, but I am losing my mind!

I feel your pain! Sending big hugs your way that eventually it'll click for him at home too! Even though it's I try to remember, this too shall pass. Good luck!

 

[labdogs42]

Thank you so much for all the advice. I'll keep you posted. If my experience can help anyone else, then all the better.

Edit: Maybe I should post my issues on the DIS more often, it seems to work in my favor!

Before this post, I was starting to wonder if you were me!! My DS is also a February baby (2/9, to be exact), an only, and starting preschool in September! We are at an impasse with the potty training. He doesn't mind going on the potty, but also doesn't mind being poopy Sometimes he fights tooth and nail to NOT have to use the potty (like first thing in the morning, he doesn't want to take his jammies off!) and sometimes he'll just do it (like before a bath). I'm thinking of waiting until it gets a little warmer and trying the run around outside in his undies. I don't want to get pee on my couch (is that so wrong?)!

I'm glad you had a good day today -- that gives me hope! We have tried everything from praise, to candy, to stickers, to promises of a big Chuck E Cheese blowout when he wears big boy pants, nothing seems to be motivating him. I guess we'll have to go cold turkey sometime this summer!