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I HATE when I go to Funerals & the 'guest of honor' aint there. Nutin peeves me off more.
Everytime I went to a funeral, and the GOH wasnt there, I always get stuck talkin to some strangers about how much I respected their departed Love ones, even though I didnt know them.

blah,blah,blah I figured since I am already there, might as well stick around. I mean I already put money in the Parking Meter!
Once I almost got 'outed' as as outsider during a Mob funeral...luckily I thought fast, and threw myself on the coffin screaming "Vincenza take me with you". I was good, pounded my fist to my heart , screamed & cried. Sold a bill of goods that night!
However I did get a 'date' with one of the departeds nieces, during one of them. Not as creepy as you may think!