Pool Time!

[Pixiedust530]

What you are saying is fine and makes sense. There are several on this thread though who have flat out said that the parents should not be sitting in chairs, they should be in the water. Some even saying that children who are bored because their parents are sitting out then become a nuisance to them because they then feel the need to entertain these poor children who's parents are not entertaining them themselves. Many others have said things about their children NEVER being in water without them. My post was in response to them, not to the moderate posters.

In my opinion, the issue of parents watching from a chair or being IN the water varies greatly depending on the age of the child. Some posters here have mentioned the age of their child(ren) and some have not. Sitting on the side with a toddler in the water by themselves vs. a 10 year old in the water by themselves are two very different things.

I am one of the people that said my child is NEVER in the water without me. He is only 4 years old and in my opinion that is not old enough to be in the water by himself. Just because I am IN the water does not mean that I am right next to him, playing with him or entertaining him. He is a very social child, makes friends easily and enjoys playing with others. Me being IN the water doesn't prevent him from doing that, but it does ensure I am able to supervise what he is doing, know where he is, and assist him if he gets into a bad situation & his safety is compromised.

I agree that all children need time away from their parents and need to develop skills for being self sufficient. Supervision at a pool doesn't prevent that.

 

[gina2000]

I don't see how you can tell me whay MY job as the parent of MY child should be when you don't know me or my child. I know what MY child needs, thanks. I don't see where I said that I wasn't watching ALL the time by the way. I am, but as the parent I get to decide that. I don't think any of us have the right ot dictate what another parent's "job" is.

Actually, you did. Twice.

I'm right there with you. I have not followed DD around the park since she was 3-4. I don't need to maintian line of sight at all times. She knows not to leave the area, and I check on her periodically. I feel like one of my jobs as a parent it to teach her to maintain a suitable level of indpendence from me.

Kids "deserve" a parent who is willing to cut the strings at some point as well. My 7 year old DOES NOT need me right by her every second in the water. Period. And hasn't for a while. I DO sit in a lounge chair on the side of the pool and watch her part of the time. If that makes me a bad parent in your eyes, so be it, but I think my kid needs a chance to be independent in the water, with me watching to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. I just don't see how that is lazy parenting.

And please understand, I'm not criticizing you. I think, though, that underestimating drowning is easy to do. I spent years trying to read a book in a lounge chair, poolside. I could never read past page one. It took several years....and a ton of swimming...before I felt comfortable enough to allow the lifeguards to take over. I'm talking around age 10 - and a child who is a competitive swimmer. And I still periodically watched close enough to make sure nothing was wrong.


Oh, and I totally agree that it's a combination of swimming skill and emergency technique skill. It's easy to be pulled under by a panicked swimmer. I was as a teenager....in the ocean.

 

[jodifla]

In my opinion, the issue of parents watching from a chair or being IN the water varies greatly depending on the age of the child. Some posters here have mentioned the age of their child(ren) and some have not. Sitting on the side with a toddler in the water by themselves vs. a 10 year old in the water by themselves are two very different things.

I am one of the people that said my child is NEVER in the water without me. He is only 4 years old and in my opinion that is not old enough to be in the water by himself. Just because I am IN the water does not mean that I am right next to him, playing with him or entertaining him. He is a very social child, makes friends easily and enjoys playing with others. Me being IN the water doesn't prevent him from doing that, but it does ensure I am able to supervise what he is doing, know where he is, and assist him if he gets into a bad situation & his safety is compromised.

I agree that all children need time away from their parents and need to develop skills for being self sufficient. Supervision at a pool doesn't prevent that.

To me, the setting and age of the child matter. My son was in swimming lessons from about 15 months, and he's been without me in the water since he was about 3 in certain settings.....like at a friend's home in a pool, with me watching him the whole time, even while I'm talking with friends.

At public pools, I stayed in the water with him until he was 6. Then I moved to the lounge chair, got books on tape so I could be entertained, but still watch him at every moment.

He's 9 now, a good swimmer, and very tall, so I don't watch him every second in the water...if I know the water area, the depth, etc.

 

[bartleby1]

I don't see how you can tell me whay MY job as the parent of MY child should be when you don't know me or my child. I know what MY child needs, thanks. I don't see where I said that I wasn't watching ALL the time by the way. I am, but as the parent I get to decide that. I don't think any of us have the right ot dictate what another parent's "job" is.

As Gina2000 pointed out, you did state that you watch PART of the time and that she is sometimes out of your sight while in the pool. I just pray that nothing like what happened to my daughter happens to yours during the part of the time you are not watching or when she is out of your sight because the outcome would not be good. I can tell you that my daughter would probably not be here today if I had been distracted at that moment. It was a huge wake up call to see how quickly things can go wrong. That is why I do feel that it is my job as a parent to watch ALL of the time, not just part of the time. I could have one less child right now if I only watched part of the time. Of course, you have every right as a parent to watch only part of the time if you choose.

By the way, the mother of the child that pulled mine under never saw the incident. She was busy talking to another mom at the party and glancing over at the pool when she saw fit. Thankfully, I was watching or her child may have gone down also. Ironically, at another swim party in March, a different child almost drown because another cannonballed on top of her. Again, her mom was busy talking to another mom and didn't see the incident. Thankfully, another girl's mom jumped in with her clothes on to save the one in trouble.

I've seen first hand what watching only part of the time can do and it happens way too often.

 

[princessmom29]

Actually, you did. Twice.








And please understand, I'm not criticizing you. I think, though, that underestimating drowning is easy to do. I spent years trying to read a book in a lounge chair, poolside. I could never read past page one. It took several years....and a ton of swimming...before I felt comfortable enough to allow the lifeguards to take over. I'm talking around age 10 - and a child who is a competitive swimmer. And I still periodically watched close enough to make sure nothing was wrong.


Oh, and I totally agree that it's a combination of swimming skill and emergency technique skill. It's easy to be pulled under by a panicked swimmer. I was as a teenager....in the ocean.

As Gina2000 pointed out, you did state that you watch PART of the time and that she is sometimes out of your sight while in the pool. I just pray that nothing like what happened to my daughter happens to yours during the part of the time you are not watching or when she is out of your sight because the outcome would not be good. I can tell you that my daughter would probably not be here today if I had been distracted at that moment. It was a huge wake up call to see how quickly things can go wrong. That is why I do feel that it is my job as a parent to watch ALL of the time, not just part of the time. I could have one less child right now if I only watched part of the time. Of course, you have every right as a parent to watch only part of the time if you choose.

By the way, the mother of the child that pulled mine under never saw the incident. She was busy talking to another mom at the party and glancing over at the pool when she saw fit. Thankfully, I was watching or her child may have gone down also. Ironically, at another swim party in March, a different child almost drown because another cannonballed on top of her. Again, her mom was busy talking to another mom and didn't see the incident. Thankfully, another girl's mom jumped in with her clothes on to save the one in trouble.

I've seen first hand what watching only part of the time can do and it happens way too often.

You guys are splicing two posts and not understanding what I am saying. The first post was about THE PARK, not THE POOL. Very different. I don't watch her every minute at the park bacuse THERE IS NO WATER! When I said I sit and watch in the lounge chair part of the time, I meant that I spend part of the time on the chiar, not only part of the time watching. The rest of the time I would be in the water with DD. I thought that was clear, obviously not. Just to be COMPLETELY clear, so there is no misunderstanding:
The Park- No water. I don't have to have my eyes on her every moment.

The Pool- Water everywhere. I split time between playing in the pool with DD and watching her in the lounge chair. I do always keep her in sight. She doesn't need me right next to her in the water, but I DO watch.

 

[Andrew78]

Let's not say who is and hwo is not a bad parent especially in an online forum where noone knows a thing about the other. But what I can tell you as someone who was a lifeguard for years prior to college and during college is that kids, particularly under 10 need to be supervised at all times.

There are a couple of scenarios that happened quite often, one was a good child swimmer who is swimming then another kid mistakenly jumps on them and goes under, and the other is an otherwise good child swimmer gets exhausted and loses his bearing and goes under. This isnt even taking into account young and unskilled swimmers

With drowning it occurs very quickly and unlike movies there are usually no yells or splashing.

If you arent watching your kid at every moment while they are swimming you are doing them a diservice

 

[Suzanne74]

Let's not say who is and hwo is not a bad parent especially in an online forum where noone knows a thing about the other. But what I can tell you as someone who was a lifeguard for years prior to college and during college is that kids, particularly under 10 need to be supervised at all times.

There are a couple of scenarios that happened quite often, one was a good child swimmer who is swimming then another kid mistakenly jumps on them and goes under, and the other is an otherwise good child swimmer gets exhausted and loses his bearing and goes under. This isnt even taking into account young and unskilled swimmers

With drowning it occurs very quickly and unlike movies there are usually no yells or splashing.

If you arent watching your kid at every moment while they are swimming you are doing them a diservice

That is basically it in a nutshell. Kids should NOT be out of your sight while at the pool but the reality is it happens all the time. Should you be by your kids side 24/7? No way. But you should always know where they are in the pool, ESPECIALLY if it is a resort pool or new surroundings. I didn't read all the posts but are there people here flat out saying, "No at 6 years old, my child is old enought to swim without me watching them at all?" You might as well just drop them off and leave.

 

[nrpofp]

That is basically it in a nutshell. Kids should NOT be out of your sight while at the pool but the reality is it happens all the time. Should you be by your kids side 24/7? No way. But you should always know where they are in the pool, ESPECIALLY if it is a resort pool or new surroundings. I didn't read all the posts but are there people here flat out saying, "No at 6 years old, my child is old enought to swim without me watching them at all?" You might as well just drop them off and leave.

I have read most of posts I don't recall anyone saying you should not watch your child at all. Everyones definition of watching is just different. Everyone has a different comfort level, and knows there children better than the people on this board judging them. I think people that own pools tend to be more comfortable. When you own a pool teaching your kids to swim is number 1 priority. My kids have never worn life jackets. They have been swimming in our backyard pool since they were born. My kids are excellent swimmers and my comfort level around pools is very high. That does not mean I don't keep an eye on my kids when they are swimming, but no amount of scary drowning stories is going to get me out of my lounge chair and into the water. That being said I always swam with my kids until age 4 no life jackets. They are 6 and 8 now and I feel comfortable giving them some freedom. I am not really getting all the judgemental posts. When you point a finger at someone your going to get 10 pointing back at you.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have read most of posts I don't recall anyone saying you should not watch your child at all. Everyones definition of watching is just different. Everyone has a different comfort level, and knows there children better than the people on this board judging them. I think people that own pools tend to be more comfortable. When you own a pool teaching your kids to swim is number 1 priority. My kids have never worn life jackets. They have been swimming in our backyard pool since they were born. My kids are excellent swimmers and my comfort level around pools is very high. That does not mean I don't keep an eye on my kids when they are swimming, but no amount of scary drowning stories is going to get me out of my lounge chair and into the water. That being said I always swam with my kids until age 4 no life jackets. They are 6 and 8 now and I feel comfortable giving them some freedom. I am not really getting all the judgemental posts. When you point a finger at someone your going to get 10 pointing back at you.

But here's the thing. You are not swimming in your backyard pool with just your children. You are at a busy resort with all sorts of people. Someone could accidentally jump on top of your child or grab them because they themselves are going under. Now I do think it is okay to watch from a chair once they hit a certain age but I absolutely think it is not okay to sit reading a book or taking a nap etc. when your kids are in a resort pool. YMMV.

I just wanted to add that I am not saying you do those things. I just used your post to explain.

 

[nchulka]

I'm just curious what all the parents who watch their kids constantly do when someone needs to use the restroom? Most people have more than one child, I have 2. Do you really make all your kids get out and go with you when you have to use the restroom? Just curious because quite frequently I take my 2 kids and a friend each to swim and I can't imagine rounding up two 7 year olds and two nine year olds every time I needed to use the restroom and hauling them in with me. When my kids were pre-school age sure we all went together and they didn't bring friends along, but I can't see that telling them to get out and come with me would fly now.

Also I get the whole things can happen in a second logic. Anything CAN happen in a second. But I play the odds, what are the chances my kid is going to drown during the 5 minutes I'm away. If we didn't play the odds we would never fly in airplanes (what are the chances mine will crash), drive a car (what are the chances I'll be the one in a fatal wreck), ride any ride at Disney ever (what are the chances the ride will fatally malfunction with me on it), or eat any food ever (what are the chances I'm going to choke). These are things that DO happen to people, people die in plane crashes, car accidents, amusement park rides, choking on food, and many more ways. Every day we play the odds that it won't be us even though at any moment it could be.

 

[maxiesmom]

I'm just curious what all the parents who watch their kids constantly do when someone needs to use the restroom? Most people have more than one child, I have 2. Do you really make all your kids get out and go with you when you have to use the restroom? Just curious because quite frequently I take my 2 kids and a friend each to swim and I can't imagine rounding up two 7 year olds and two nine year olds every time I needed to use the restroom and hauling them in with me. When my kids were pre-school age sure we all went together and they didn't bring friends along, but I can't see that telling them to get out and come with me would fly now.

Also I get the whole things can happen in a second logic. Anything CAN happen in a second. But I play the odds, what are the chances my kid is going to drown during the 5 minutes I'm away. If we didn't play the odds we would never fly in airplanes (what are the chances mine will crash), drive a car (what are the chances I'll be the one in a fatal wreck), ride any ride at Disney ever (what are the chances the ride will fatally malfunction with me on it), or eat any food ever (what are the chances I'm going to choke). These are things that DO happen to people, people die in plane crashes, car accidents, amusement park rides, choking on food, and many more ways. Every day we play the odds that it won't be us even though at any moment it could be.

Even when we were little and at the pool if one of us had to use the bathroom, the other one came out of the pool too. Simple.

Second, yes everyone does things everyday that can result in death. However for many of those things we use safety gear or follow certain safety measures. Bike helumts and seat belts are the most obvious ones. Most of us know the risks, but do what we can to minimize them. At the pool to me a parent watching their child minimizes the risk. You don't just shut your eyes to the danger, you do what you can to minimize the risk.

 

[nrpofp]

But here's the thing. You are not swimming in your backyard pool with just your children. You are at a busy resort with all sorts of people. Someone could accidentally jump on top of your child or grab them because they themselves are going under. Now I do think it is okay to watch from a chair once they hit a certain age but I absolutely think it is not okay to sit reading a book or taking a nap etc. when your kids are in a resort pool. YMMV.

I just wanted to add that I am not saying you do those things. I just used your post to explain.

Yes I do read a book at the pool.Your opining is not going to change that. My kids will be just fine. Don't worry about it., and seriously its ok to just say "you" when that is really what you mean.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Yes I do read a book at the pool.Your opining is not going to change that. My kids will be just fine. Don't worry about it., and seriously its ok to just say "you" when that is really what you mean.

No I didn't mean You because I had no idea that you did that or not, But now that I do then yes I do mean you. I still think it is a bad choice but to each their own.

 

[nrpofp]

No I didn't mean You because I had no idea that you did that or not, But now that I do then yes I do mean you. I still think it is a bad choice but to each their own.

When you quote someone thst usually mean your directing your comment to them. I wasn't asking for yor opinion on my choices.