Pool Time!

[maxiesmom]

I guess will never no will we?

But as it is the figure the CDC is going with, I think it safe to go with.

 

[bartleby1]

I am shocked that some of you think nothing of leaving a 6 yr old in a POOL area without watching them. Drowning happens soooo quickly and with so little warning.

And, keep in mind that just because your child is a strong swimmer, things can still go very wrong in the water. ANYTHING can happen... slips, falls, banging their head while jumping in, etc. No lifeguard can see it all regardless of how well they are trained.

We were just at a swim party with a bunch of 6 year olds for an end of the school year party. My daughter can swim. However, there was a child there that she was playing with and they decided to jump into the deep end together. Well, it turns out that the other child could not swim so well. Panic set in and he grabbed my daughter for help (natural instinct). Since she couldn't stand, he was pulling her under. Thankfully I saw what was happening. Never once did she call for help. There was no loud commotion. There was no loud splashing and flailing. He just pulled her under and she was taking on water.

Last summer, I was at a friend's house who has an above ground pool. Her 10 year old was swimming under water and came up to close to the side of the pool and when he stood up he smacked his head on the lip of the side of the wall. He was in a daze for probably 30 seconds to a minute. If he had hit any harder it is possible that he would have lost consciousness. Not good in a pool.

Please do not think that pool accidents and drownings can't happen to your child. They need to be watched. You can watch them without hovering or helicoptering. And swimming with a buddy doesn't really help much because the buddy will most likely try to help his drowning sibling/friend and will get pulled under as well. It is very difficult to save a drowning person in water that you can not stand in unless you are trained to do so.

 

[Pixiedust530]

I am shocked that some of you think nothing of leaving a 6 yr old in a POOL area without watching them. Drowning happens soooo quickly and with so little warning.

And, keep in mind that just because your child is a strong swimmer, things can still go very wrong in the water. ANYTHING can happen... slips, falls, banging their head while jumping in, etc. No lifeguard can see it all regardless of how well they are trained.

We were just at a swim party with a bunch of 6 year olds for an end of the school year party. My daughter can swim. However, there was a child there that she was playing with and they decided to jump into the deep end together. Well, it turns out that the other child could not swim so well. Panic set in and he grabbed my daughter for help (natural instinct). Since she couldn't stand, he was pulling her under. Thankfully I saw what was happening. Never once did she call for help. There was no loud commotion. There was no loud splashing and flailing. He just pulled her under and she was taking on water.

Last summer, I was at a friend's house who has an above ground pool. Her 10 year old was swimming under water and came up to close to the side of the pool and when he stood up he smacked his head on the lip of the side of the wall. He was in a daze for probably 30 seconds to a minute. If he had hit any harder it is possible that he would have lost consciousness. Not good in a pool.

Please do not think that pool accidents and drownings can't happen to your child. They need to be watched. You can watch them without hovering or helicoptering. And swimming with a buddy doesn't really help much because the buddy will most likely try to help his drowning sibling/friend and will get pulled under as well. It is very difficult to save a drowning person in water that you can not stand in unless you are trained to do so.

Very well said! So many things can happen in the water that have NOTHING to do with a swimmer's ability!

I was a trained lifeguard and did so for 13 years and even with proper training and ongoing refreshers I can attest to the difficulty in rescuing a distressed swimmer in water over my own head.

 

[princesspeach]

But as it is the figure the CDC is going with, I think it safe to go with.

Oh of course those government agencies are always trust worthy. What was I possibly thinking. Silly me.

 

[DopeyDame]

Oh of course those government agencies are always trust worthy. What was I possibly thinking. Silly me.

Regardless of the source of the statistic, do you really think it takes a long time to drown? I have NEVER seen a source saying anything other than a minute or two (or even less). given that it doesn't take long at all to drown, it's completely plausible that an unsupervised child (or adult, for that matter)can drown while being alone for less than 5 minutes. It doesn't require trust in a government agency to realize that.

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

Very well said! So many things can happen in the water that have NOTHING to do with a swimmer's ability!
I was a trained lifeguard and did so for 13 years and even with proper training and ongoing refreshers I can attest to the difficulty in rescuing a distressed swimmer in water over my own head.

 

[almburr]

I will give my 2cents to this topic. I am a mom to 5 kids and I am also our Citys pool manager and head lifeguard also an instructor of lifeguarding with the American Red Cross.

at any moment the strongest swimmer can become a distressed swimmer move into an active drowning victim to a passive drowning victim.

An active drowning victim struggles to breathe and CANNOT call out for help. They only have 20 to 60 seconds before submerging.

My kids have grown up at the pool and they have taken lessons to the highest level. I still take my youngest to the pool and keep an eye on him, he is 6yrs old. I might be on deck watching him and knowing where he is in the water. But I am not right next to him, unless he wants me to play with him.

Now if we are at a large waterpark then yes I am with him in the water, and wouldnt let him wonder all over by himself, the older ones I will let go on thier own.

Like I said this is just my 2cents.

 

[hannahdrewmom]

This thread has opened my eyes to a whole new world! I have always wondered why parents are complaining about SAB being so big and not being able to watch young kids. My thought has always been... well they are in the water with you so exactly how fast are they swimming away from you? Obviously not every parent is in the water with kids that are young..... personally I consider 6 young.

All that I can think as I'm reading this thread is "I'm sure that after an accidental drowning you will feel really good about the fact that you "deserved" a break in the lounge chair while your child swam. I'm sorry but just too much can happen in water and all the "deserve a break" just kill me. Your child deserves a parent who is a parent... you are not on vacation from parenting when you are on vacation. You can relax and still watch your child.

The OP said her husband didn't even know where he was. I think there is a big difference from sitting in a chair watching or on the side of the pool and having no clue where your child is. I'm with you OP... a 6 year old needs supervision. Life guards are their to make sure nothing happens since it is dangerous.... but then shouldn't that alone tell us that we need to be vigilant of our own children and families? We are the ones that have something VERY precious to lose.

 

[Suzanne74]

This thread has opened my eyes to a whole new world! I have always wondered why parents are complaining about SAB being so big and not being able to watch young kids. My thought has always been... well they are in the water with you so exactly how fast are they swimming away from you? Obviously not every parent is in the water with kids that are young..... personally I consider 6 young.

All that I can think as I'm reading this thread is "I'm sure that after an accidental drowning you will feel really good about the fact that you "deserved" a break in the lounge chair while your child swam. I'm sorry but just too much can happen in water and all the "deserve a break" just kill me. Your child deserves a parent who is a parent... you are not on vacation from parenting when you are on vacation. You can relax and still watch your child.

The OP said her husband didn't even know where he was. I think there is a big difference from sitting in a chair watching or on the side of the pool and having no clue where your child is. I'm with you OP... a 6 year old needs supervision. Life guards are their to make sure nothing happens since it is dangerous.... but then shouldn't that alone tell us that we need to be vigilant of our own children and families? We are the ones that have something VERY precious to lose.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

I've been reading this thread, mulling over it for a few days, thinking about it.

It makes me sick to my stomach that is really truely is something that is so preventable and really truely is something that could very well happen to my own children.

In the blink of an eye something could go wrong. And this is not a " what if " situation, it's when. This actually happens to people everyday. Not only do we have the risk of our own children injuring themselves, but others injuring them also.

Ever seen kids playing with those diving sticks that sink to the bottom. Ever seen boys horse-playing at the deep end and push eachother in ? And land right on the child under water ?

Do we have to live in a bubble ? No. Do we have to parent our children and put their safety leeps and bounds above our own needs, wants and desires to "deserve to relax " Yes. When you become a parent, these are the things your supposed to do. Watch your kids, treat them well, keep them safe.

I work in the school setting and with youth groups. As an adult I have no problem telling kids what's what. I have no problem to tell kids to watch their mouth, to stop jumping in the pool from the ledge over my kids heads, etc. I've had a few kids challenge me. That's fine, they can go to their parents and explain their complaint that some lady told them not to drop the F-bomb everyother word. And I've seen how far it gets them. Usually sitting next to their parents the rest of the time.

As far as other kids joining in and paying with us. It's fine by me, as long as their parents can see them, and know what's going on. Usually I ask, "where's your mom " or say something like " Go tell your mom where you are first " I do this not only for the child to know that I am the adult and they need to be aware that I am in charge, but also to make sure their parents know where they are and what their doing also. I also have no problem telling kids that if they can't be nice, share and behave that I will send them back to their parents.

I have a friend that just got back from a Disney cruise. She said it was so much fun til they lost lil R (7 yrs old) for 45 mins. She said she went into a panic, looking everywhere. The lifeguards were looking for her, calling her name, announcing it over and over. After 45 mins a lifeguard asked another family if she was their child. They said no, he had seen her 10 times, but thought she was with them. He didn't put 2 and 2 together, because she didn't look lost. She was going down the slides with them, swimming, playing, etc. This is exactly why I tell kids to go tell their parents where they are, or try and make eye contact with the other parent, wave, something.

 

[nchulka]

All that I can think as I'm reading this thread is "I'm sure that after an accidental drowning you will feel really good about the fact that you "deserved" a break in the lounge chair while your child swam. I'm sorry but just too much can happen in water and all the "deserve a break" just kill me. Your child deserves a parent who is a parent... you are not on vacation from parenting when you are on vacation. You can relax and still watch your child.

How about the fact that kids need a break from their parents??? Where did the idea that parents and children should be with each other all the time come from? It's not healthy for either one. Kids should be able to play in the pool with other children without their parents always around. Parents today have it all wrong. We think that we need to be constantly playing with them, being with them. The fact is we're not kids. Kids are much happier playing with other children. Sure it's fun for mom and dad to throw you in the deep end or chase you around like a shark for awhile but for the majority of the time you're at the pool your kids should be making friends with other kids and making up their own games. Where's the creativity and imagination when there is always an adult around directing the play??? Let them run off, make friends with other children, and use their own imaginations to come up with ways to entertain themselves.

Just today I took both my kids and 1 friend each to the waterpark at Six Flags. I swam some and hung out on a chair some. Not because I was "on vacation from parenting" but because they don't need me messing up their games! My daughter and her friend told me all about the fun they had at the giant kids water play area pretending they were dinosaurs and spying on the boys.

Parenting today would be much less stressful if parents would stop thinking they have to be their child's entertainment 24/7. Imagine how nice your life could be if you told the kids to go out and play after breakfast and they came in at lunch, made their own lunch, and then went back out to play until dinner. I can tell you first hand it's great! Great for me, great for them, great all around. They learn to handle their own entertainment, and handle their own problems. You know the way it used to be for thousands of years until this current generation of parents started watching 24 hour television news and decided junior could never be out of their sight again!

 

[DopeyDame]

Kids should be able to play in the pool with other children without their parents always around. Parents today have it all wrong. We think that we need to be constantly playing with them, being with them.

I think maybe people are talking past each other on this thread, because the first sentance quoted above and the third sentance quoted above are two VERY different things to me (and I think most of the other parents saying that kids need to be constantly supervised at a pool.)

Parents SHOULD always be around when a kid is at a pool. That means they should know where they are and be able to see them. That does NOT mean the parent needs to be "constantly playing with them" A parent can be supervising just fine while sitting on the side of the pool or in a lounge chair as long as they can still see the kid and are paying attention. The kid can still be be having all sorts of fun with other kids without any parental involvment at all.
The problem wasn't that the OP's husband wasn't entertaining her son, the problem was that he did not know where the six year old was in a pool complex!

As many, many posters have pointed out, pools are uniquely dangerous and the simple act of watching (not necessarily playing with, not interfering with, not preventing from playing with other kids or using their imagination, just keeping them in line of sight) can save a life so easily.

 

[cassandrap83]

Whenever we are at a water area at a resort or pool, I will let my daughters
(4 & 5 1/2) explore on their own (together), but they are always within my line of sight. This may mean that they are climbing to the top of a structure by themselves, but I can still see them. This may also mean that I am leaning up against the fence while I watch them continually go up & down a slide.

Whenever we are IN water (as in a pool) or the Gulf, they are always within arm's length from me. We are currently teaching them both how to swim, and they could probably keep tread water for a minute, but I'm still not ready to let them go that much.

I will, however, sit in my beach chair 20ft from the surf & let them wade out to their waist. (no waves at all)

 

[nchulka]

I think maybe people are talking past each other on this thread, because the first sentance quoted above and the third sentance quoted above are two VERY different things to me (and I think most of the other parents saying that kids need to be constantly supervised at a pool.)

Parents SHOULD always be around when a kid is at a pool. That means they should know where they are and be able to see them. That does NOT mean the parent needs to be "constantly playing with them" A parent can be supervising just fine while sitting on the side of the pool or in a lounge chair as long as they can still see the kid and are paying attention. The kid can still be be having all sorts of fun with other kids without any parental involvment at all.
The problem wasn't that the OP's husband wasn't entertaining her son, the problem was that he did not know where the six year old was in a pool complex!

As many, many posters have pointed out, pools are uniquely dangerous and the simple act of watching (not necessarily playing with, not interfering with, not preventing from playing with other kids or using their imagination, just keeping them in line of sight) can save a life so easily.

What you are saying is fine and makes sense. There are several on this thread though who have flat out said that the parents should not be sitting in chairs, they should be in the water. Some even saying that children who are bored because their parents are sitting out then become a nuisance to them because they then feel the need to entertain these poor children who's parents are not entertaining them themselves. Many others have said things about their children NEVER being in water without them. My post was in response to them, not to the moderate posters.

 

[hannahdrewmom]

What you are saying is fine and makes sense. There are several on this thread though who have flat out said that the parents should not be sitting in chairs, they should be in the water. Some even saying that children who are bored because their parents are sitting out then become a nuisance to them because they then feel the need to entertain these poor children who's parents are not entertaining them themselves. Many others have said things about their children NEVER being in water without them. My post was in response to them, not to the moderate posters.

You and I are saying the same thing.... I think. I am not saying they have to be in the water the whole time. I'm fine with sitting in a chair and watching. However, the original poster was talking about her son not even being in eye sight of her husband or her husband knowing where he was. There are alot of people that are saying that is fine... and that they are on vacation and need a break. A break? At a pool! I'm sorry but a pool is not a place to stop watching. I do not think it is right for parents to entertain all day long ...regardless of their age. Even newborns need some down time away from mom and dad.... but not at a pool. Nobody needs to be unsupervised at a pool... not even adults!

 

[princessmom29]

T
All that I can think as I'm reading this thread is "I'm sure that after an accidental drowning you will feel really good about the fact that you "deserved" a break in the lounge chair while your child swam. I'm sorry but just too much can happen in water and all the "deserve a break" just kill me. Your child deserves a parent who is a parent... you are not on vacation from parenting when you are on vacation. You can relax and still watch your child.

Kids "deserve" a parent who is willing to cut the strings at some point as well. My 7 year old DOES NOT need me right by her every second in the water. Period. And hasn't for a while. I DO sit in a lounge chair on the side of the pool and watch her part of the time. If that makes me a bad parent in your eyes, so be it, but I think my kid needs a chance to be independent in the water, with me watching to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. I just don't see how that is lazy parenting.

 

[bartleby1]

Kids "deserve" a parent who is willing to cut the strings at some point as well. My 7 year old DOES NOT need me right by her every second in the water. Period. And hasn't for a while. I DO sit in a lounge chair on the side of the pool and watch her part of the time. If that makes me a bad parent in your eyes, so be it, but I think my kid needs a chance to be independent in the water, with me watching to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. I just don't see how that is lazy parenting.

While I agree that your 7 year old does not need you right by her every second, I do feel she DOES need you watching her ALL of the time, not just part of the time. She can be independent in the water and play with other kids with you watching from a lounge chair at the side. However, your job is still to be sure she is safe - and that includes ALL of the time, not just part of the time. Things can go so wrong, so quickly, in the water. It has nothing to do with her swimming ability or level of independence. Like I said earlier, my daughter ran into problems because someone ELSE couldn't swim well and started pulling her under. It happened in a matter of maybe 30 seconds. Thank God I was watching because there was absolutely NO sounds of struggle. She just went down. Had I been reading a book in a lounge chair or distracted in some other way, even for a minute or two, she could have drowned. That is certainly not a risk that I am willing to take so that I can read, relax, or otherwise be distracted. When my kids are in a pool, they get 100% of my eyes. They still get to be kids and be independent but I am most definitely watching.

Drowning is SILENT and only takes seconds to minutes. Most people think they will hear a lot of splashing and cries for help. That is not how it happens. A drowning person is too busy trying to gasp for air that they physically cannot yell for help. The only way you will know is by watching diligently. If it happens during the part of the time you admittedly are not watching her, the results will be devastating. Children have died in very crowded swimming pools without anyone around them realizing that they were in trouble. The only one watching your child specifically is you.

 

[hannahdrewmom]

Kids "deserve" a parent who is willing to cut the strings at some point as well. My 7 year old DOES NOT need me right by her every second in the water. Period. And hasn't for a while. I DO sit in a lounge chair on the side of the pool and watch her part of the time. If that makes me a bad parent in your eyes, so be it, but I think my kid needs a chance to be independent in the water, with me watching to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. I just don't see how that is lazy parenting.

If you read my whole post and this whole thread you would realize that I AGREE with you. But there are people in the first few pages stating that they aren't WATCHING their kids. They are letting them run around while they sit in a chair because they deserve a break. I don't think as kids get older you have to be at arms length no. They need independence you are right. But I don't think a pool is a place to say "Go play and check back in in 20 minutes while mommy takes a little nap in the lounge chair" Sorry! I think you are saying what I am saying to be honest..... but not everyone in this thread is.

 

[princessmom29]

While I agree that your 7 year old does not need you right by her every second, I do feel she DOES need you watching her ALL of the time, not just part of the time. She can be independent in the water and play with other kids with you watching from a lounge chair at the side. However, your job is still to be sure she is safe - and that includes ALL of the time, not just part of the time. Things can go so wrong, so quickly, in the water. It has nothing to do with her swimming ability or level of independence. Like I said earlier, my daughter ran into problems because someone ELSE couldn't swim well and started pulling her under. It happened in a matter of maybe 30 seconds. Thank God I was watching because there was absolutely NO sounds of struggle. She just went down. Had I been reading a book in a lounge chair or distracted in some other way, even for a minute or two, she could have drowned. That is certainly not a risk that I am willing to take so that I can read, relax, or otherwise be distracted. When my kids are in a pool, they get 100% of my eyes. They still get to be kids and be independent but I am most definitely watching.

Drowning is SILENT and only takes seconds to minutes. Most people think they will hear a lot of splashing and cries for help. That is not how it happens. A drowning person is too busy trying to gasp for air that they physically cannot yell for help. The only way you will know is by watching diligently. If it happens during the part of the time you admittedly are not watching her, the results will be devastating. Children have died in very crowded swimming pools without anyone around them realizing that they were in trouble. The only one watching your child specifically is you.

I don't see how you can tell me whay MY job as the parent of MY child should be when you don't know me or my child. I know what MY child needs, thanks. I don't see where I said that I wasn't watching ALL the time by the way. I am, but as the parent I get to decide that. I don't think any of us have the right ot dictate what another parent's "job" is.

 

[NotUrsula]

OK, I'll bite, since I'm a "get off the chair" person.

I say that parents supervising younger kids need to be IN the water b/c IME it is just too easy to become bored and get distracted by other things when you are not. Also, unless your kids don't move around while in the water, they are bound to get out of your line of sight at some point when there is that much distance between you and them, largely because other people will get in the way.

The bottom line for me is that I don't trust myself to stay perfectly alert and aware unless I'm in the water, too. Having that water surrounding me keeps my senses tuned to it and what it can do, and also puts me on a sightline that does not get hampered by the glare off the water. (Deepwater lifeguards are posted on towers for a reason.)

As to swimming ability and determining when it is safe to turn a kid loose, my rule is a combination of both swimming ability AND age/size/maturity. If a child is under about age 10, they are at a size disadvantage in most pools; the depth of the water is proportionally more of a challenge should they get into difficulties. Also, the younger they are, the less perspective they have about the possible danger. It is not their swimming ability that I am inclined to feel the need to second-guess; it is their emergency-management skills. Outside of water you have more time to weigh how to react, and in most cases the risk that you are dealing with is one of probable injury rather than death; in water the reaction needs to be the correct one right out of the gate, or the consequences can be instantly deadly.

I'm not going to go so far as to say that a parent is neglectful if they are not in the water and close to the child; because I don't know them and I don't know the child. What I do say is that I don't consider it close supervision if you are doing it from a chair, unless the chair is on a tower and the kids are within about 10 feet of it.