Poll: Teen doors...

[robinb]

My DD is not quite a teen and she is allowed to close her door and have some privacy.

 

[4greatboys]

I know at least 50 reasons you shouldn't let your teens keep the door closed.No matter if they are good or bad kids.

Just curious as to how old your kids are?

 

[cristit14]

Absolutely, no opposite sex friends are allowed in the room though. They can hang out else where. My teen kids even have locks on their doors, the horror.

 

[NYEmomma]

I didn't vote since my daughter is 3, but when she's a teenager, she'll absolutely be allowed to have her door closed when she's in her bedroom.

My husband & I started dating when I was 16 and we were also allowed in my bedroom alone and down in our finished basement alone. He often stayed over until 2 or 3 a.m. since I was underage and curfew was at midnight and my parents didn't have any problems going to bed and him still being over. I suppose they probably decided having us hang out at home and watching SNL was better than us being out somewhere!

 

[SaraJayne]

Both my kids (15 tomorrow and 10) are allowed to have privacy in their rooms, with the door shut.

Opposite sex friends are not allowed in bedrooms.

I can't imagine a reason why you would not allow your children privacy in their rooms.

 

[AnnieEMT]

All of my kids were allowed to have their doors shut whenever they wanted - visits with opposite sex friends took place in common areas of the house, no bedroom visits. I can't imagine not giving them some basic privacy - especially in my house, there were so darn many of them, privacy was pretty hard to come by!

 

[bumbershoot]

It's funny everyone is saying "opposite sex visitors means the door is open or not allowed in the bedroom at all".

That would have been an EXCELLENT rule for my BIL; he wouldn't have had a single problem keeping the door closed when his male friends were over... And his parents (though they didnt' know it at the time) wouldn't have had anything to actually worry about when his female friends were over.




My situation growing up was different than in a typical house, but I was allowed to have the door closed.

What's atypical was that our house was *tiny*, with my room immediately off of the living room. Even if I had my door closed with a boy, and even if I hadn't been SO shy that I couldn't even *think* of being nekky with someone at that point, everything could have been heard. Especially since I had an old-school waterbed, just a thick vinyl bag of water (no baffles, etc, like waterbeds are now), and it sloshed audibly when moved. So my mom could have allowed boys in my room at any time, and would have known exactly when to barge in, LOL.

 

[NYEmomma]

It's funny everyone is saying "opposite sex visitors means the door is open or not allowed in the bedroom at all".

That would have been an EXCELLENT rule for my BIL; he wouldn't have had a single problem keeping the door closed when his male friends were over... And his parents (though they didnt' know it at the time) wouldn't have had anything to actually worry about when his female friends were over.

And that's a secret that I would keep hidden as well, just to use the rule to my advantage!!

 

[Judique]

I certainly hope not, since her only child is isn't even school-aged yet.

I hope you all have gathered that I have no memory of any of the aforementioned poster's previous posts! I don't drop by here that often.

 

[roxysmum123]

Unless they've given you a reason not to trust them, I say give them their privacy.

 

[MrsPete]

My girls spend some time in their rooms alone -- doesn't everyone want quiet time to himself or herself? Time to make a phone call in privacy? Time to read in silence? To study?

Now, if one of my girls was spending essentially ALL her time alone in her room, I'd be concerned and would investigate WHY she'd behave that way; however, that's never been a problem for us.

 

[MrsPete]

I think there needs to be a happy medium. The child/teen should not wall themselves off from family.

I would be concerned if the teen had to be in the room all the time with the door closed and if I felt they weren't interacting normally with family.

Yes, this is my opinion too. I expect my children to be out of their rooms to interact with the family: Family meals, household chores, hanging out time, etc. If they never came out, I'd be concerned.

But that would have nothing to do with privacy. That would make me wonder about social development, family ties, and so forth.

 

[torinsmom]

Yes, this is my opinion too. I expect my children to be out of their rooms to interact with the family: Family meals, household chores, hanging out time, etc. If they never came out, I'd be concerned.

But that would have nothing to do with privacy. That would make me wonder about social development, family ties, and so forth.

I interact with my son plenty. We have a tiny (1000 square foot) house, so it's hard for him to avoid me completely. He is very open and honest with me and we have a great relationship. I don't knock before I go into his room; I figure there shouldn't be anything he is doing that he would mind if I saw. I can usually hear what he's doing anyway, like right now he is practicing guitar. Anything that involves family he is totally up for. I guess if he was a different kind of kid, I would worry that he spends so much time in his room, but as it is, it doesn't bother me. What's he gonna do; sit and watch Lifetime Tv with me

 

[dngnb8]

She is allowed to until she does something to violate my trust. Then, she will lose the priveledge. And it is a priveledge, not a Right.

 

[cornflake]

I don't knock before I go into his room; I figure there shouldn't be anything he is doing that he would mind if I saw.

A teenager, really? Nothing he'd mind if you saw? Nothing YOU'D mind if you saw?

There are some things that most all perfectly normal teens do... alone... with the door closed... that I'm pretty sure they don't want mom or dad walking in on and that no one wants to walk in on. Did no one learn anything from George Costanza?

 

[elizke]

Just curious, why does DH feel that teens should NOT be allowed to close their bedroom door? Given, of course, they're either alone or with same-sex friends.

He would give a lot of reasons, and maybe the only valid part, in my opinion, is that he feels DD13 especially spends TOO much time alone in there, but that is a different issue in my opinion. I think the main reason is that some woman at work is the type who spouts off about her parental rules as if she is just the perfect hard line parent. She has two teenage boys and they are not allowed to have their doors closed.

I also feel DD should be able to have it closed and even locked because DS15 is a kid with no boundaries and if he has something on his mind, like why she didn't change the TP roll, he will storm into her room every time. He has been told many times not to, but he has issues as they say.

As for too much time in her room, I don't think it's excessive for a girl who likes to read a lot and loves music and is finding her style, but if he does then he should invite her out.

Thanks everyone for participating!

 

[debster812]

I'd be very curious to see the "List of 50".

Mother of a 14YO boy here. He is most definitely allowed to be in his room, with the door closed. We also have a very small house, so when we're all together, we're kind of on top of each other, so who wouldn't want some time to themselves. He's never given us a reason not to trust him, so he gets the benefit of being a good kid.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Just curious as to how old your kids are?

She has A child who I believe is no older than 2 - a toddler. I am guessing she is advanced for her age hence the comment that people that disagree with her must know know teenagers.

I am the mom of a teen, a tween and an 8 yo.(No clue what "cute" name to refer to the 8 yo - lol) All kids are allowed to have their door shut alone or with friends except the 8yo as no friends are allowed upstairs with him yet. Too young.

I do knock before I go into their rooms. They may be children living in my home, but this is their home too and their room is their private space. That is their place to go for privacy for whatever reason, for quiet time, to hang out with friends(same sex) or to pout if they are mad.

 

[torinsmom]

A teenager, really? Nothing he'd mind if you saw? Nothing YOU'D mind if you saw?

There are some things that most all perfectly normal teens do... alone... with the door closed... that I'm pretty sure they don't want mom or dad walking in on and that no one wants to walk in on. Did no one learn anything from George Costanza?

It's never been an issue so far. He often is either playing his guitar or has his headphones on playing video computer games, so he wouldn't hear a knock anyway.

 

[jaminmd]

I know at least 50 reasons you shouldn't let your teens keep the door closed.No matter if they are good or bad kids.

Then you really don't know teens.

Come back when your baby is a teen and we'll be happy to include you in the conversation. Not all teens are trashy. Makes me wonder what kind of teen you were if you are that suspicious.