Poll: Teen doors...

[luvmy3]

Really? No, Obviously I wouldn't want her to keep the bathroom door open. I just don't think a closed bedroom door is ideal. Opinions differ, it doesn't mean DD will rebel or that i'm being controlling. There are other places to place trust and grow independence. There is however such a thing as too much freedom and I don't want to set her up for failure.

A closed bedroom door = too much freedom and being set up for failure?
And while opinions may differ, and you are right that it doesn't mean your dd will rebel, you are absolutely, positively being controling. No differnce of opinion, if you won't allow your dd to close her bedroom door because you feel it gives her too much freedom, you are too controling, period.

And FTR, I was raised an ultra strict, controling parent who did let me have a closed bedroom door. I still rebelled.

 

[pacrosby]

No, I really did mean it. I am all about doing what works for your family.

BUT in the case of a PP, her child(ren) would not ever be allowed to be alone in their rooms, with the door closed, even if they wanted to. Hence, they do NOT have the right to privacy in their rooms. I wasn't speaking directly about you.

So, no "leap" required.

ok My apologies then. I guess the 'leap' was mine.

 

[Sorsha]

ok My apologies then. I guess the 'leap' was mine.

S'ok. All this "leap"ing about is good exercise.

 

[mhsjax]

A teenager, really? Nothing he'd mind if you saw? Nothing YOU'D mind if you saw?

There are some things that most all perfectly normal teens do... alone... with the door closed... that I'm pretty sure they don't want mom or dad walking in on and that no one wants to walk in on. Did no one learn anything from George Costanza?

Thank you.!!!!!!

 

[mhsjax]

Ready here we go:
Sexting
Watching porn
Drugs
Posting inappropriate things to Facebook.
Cutting
Blocking out the world
Sex

Should I keep going?


Yes, my child is young but I have seen first hand the problems that arise from giving a child too much privacy and alone time. If they can't keep the door open then they shouldn't be doing it. Maybe if some people were more aware of the things teens did this generation wouldn't be so messed up. Yes, everyone deserves alone time but at what cost? I'm sure many parents of kids who committed suicide wished they made their children leave the door open.

I will not allow a closed door in my home. It's great if others feel it is ok but it's not something I will allow.

Wow all my friends closed their doors, we are in the almost 50 group, are we messed up? I feel for your child, everyone deserves privacy. Sexting, porn ,facebook, can all be done outside the room. Sex, really, there has to be a boy in there or a girl. I know who comes in my home, much less in my child's room. Smoking, I would smell it and if my kid thought that closing his or her door and smoking would keep me from noticing, then I have way more problems than smoking, cause in reality that kid is pretty much too dumb to live. Their rooms are right outside the kitchen and laundry room, and as a mom of 3, 2 being teens, this is where I spend the majority of my time. It is sad how you distrust so much already. YOur child will suffer.

 

[mhsjax]

Really? No, Obviously I wouldn't want her to keep the bathroom door open. I just don't think a closed bedroom door is ideal. Opinions differ, it doesn't mean DD will rebel or that i'm being controlling. There are other places to place trust and grow independence. There is however such a thing as too much freedom and I don't want to set her up for failure.

will be sure and tell my friend who is a Judge, and closed her door, that she was set up for failure. Also my friend that makes upwards of $200,000.00 a year that they were set up for failure. never thought of a closed bedroom door as too much freedom. Sorry, but you have some twisted ideas.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

There is nothing wrong with setting rules. yes, her father and I control what happens in OUR house. That's the way it is. I am not into letting kids run the house. I find it bizarre how upset people are over the idea of not letting a teenager keep a bedroom door closed. Everyone has different rules in their homes and what works for you might not work for others.

I grew up in a home where I wasn't allowed to keep the door closed it could be ajar or or cracked but never closed and locked unless I was changing. It was never a big deal because I mainly hung out in the family room.

I love how everyone here is like "Oh, your child will suffer" Really? She will suffer because she can't keep her bedroom door closed? Can we say exaggeration.

 

[sam_gordon]

There is nothing wrong with setting rules. yes, her father and I control what happens in OUR house. That's the way it is. I am not into letting kids run the house. I find it bizarre how upset people are over the idea of not letting a teenager keep a bedroom door closed. Everyone has different rules in their homes and what works for you might not work for others.

I grew up in a home where I wasn't allowed to keep the door closed it could be ajar or or cracked but never closed and locked unless I was changing. It was never a big deal because I mainly hung out in the family room.

I love how everyone here is like "Oh, your child will suffer" Really? She will suffer because she can't keep her bedroom door closed? Can we say exaggeration.

So it's ok for YOU to exaggerate, but not for anyone else? Oh, you didn't exaggerate? What about your line "I am not into letting kids run the house."? That implies you think kids who ARE allowed to close their door are "running the house". It's statements like that, as well as "setting kids up for failure"

Again, you're saying now what you will do in 10+ years. Of course you and your DH can do what you want. And many posters think you're being too controlling. If you think not allowing doors to be shut will keep your kids away from all 50 (of what, we've heard 7 so far? no exaggerating there) "bad activities", go ahead. Those of us who are raising teens will do things our way.

 

[luvsJack]

There is nothing wrong with setting rules. yes, her father and I control what happens in OUR house. That's the way it is. I am not into letting kids run the house. I find it bizarre how upset people are over the idea of not letting a teenager keep a bedroom door closed. Everyone has different rules in their homes and what works for you might not work for others.

I grew up in a home where I wasn't allowed to keep the door closed it could be ajar or or cracked but never closed and locked unless I was changing. It was never a big deal because I mainly hung out in the family room.

I love how everyone here is like "Oh, your child will suffer" Really? She will suffer because she can't keep her bedroom door closed? Can we say exaggeration.

And you should keep in mind what worked for you may not work too well for your dd.

DD doesn't "run the house" and neither did her brothers. She doesn't stay locked up in her room and neither did they. They have all had TVs in their rooms but rarely watch them (her's stays on because she likes the light and noise when she sleeps) as they prefer being in the family room with us.

But, at night before bedtime she likes to go to her room and close the door. Do I know everything she is doing? No. But mostly she is on FB and texting her bf. Could she do something inappropriate? of course. Is she? I seriously doubt it.

Its about trust. And I trust my daughter and I know what I have taught her and I know how strong her beliefs, morals and self esteem is so that until she gives me reason not to; I will continue to trust her.

I don't make my kids "earn my trust" until they do something to lose it.

If making her keep her door open works for you and your dd--more power to you but to sit there with a 2 year old and tell a parent of teens that "she doesn't know teens" and to say that parents of teens that ARE allowed to close their door are letting their kids run the house is absolutely ridiculous and a bit of riding the high horse.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

There is nothing wrong with setting rules. yes, her father and I control what happens in OUR house. That's the way it is. I am not into letting kids run the house. I find it bizarre how upset people are over the idea of not letting a teenager keep a bedroom door closed. Everyone has different rules in their homes and what works for you might not work for others.

I grew up in a home where I wasn't allowed to keep the door closed it could be ajar or or cracked but never closed and locked unless I was changing. It was never a big deal because I mainly hung out in the family room.

I love how everyone here is like "Oh, your child will suffer" Really? She will suffer because she can't keep her bedroom door closed? Can we say exaggeration.

Can you list the other 43 reasons why you think your daughter should not be allowed to have her door shut?

 

[Ceila]

There is nothing wrong with setting rules. yes, her father and I control what happens in OUR house. That's the way it is. I am not into letting kids run the house. I find it bizarre how upset people are over the idea of not letting a teenager keep a bedroom door closed. Everyone has different rules in their homes and what works for you might not work for others.

I grew up in a home where I wasn't allowed to keep the door closed it could be ajar or or cracked but never closed and locked unless I was changing. It was never a big deal because I mainly hung out in the family room.

I love how everyone here is like "Oh, your child will suffer" Really? She will suffer because she can't keep her bedroom door closed? Can we say exaggeration.