Poll: Party Dress Etiquette

[johnsontrio]

Hoping you DISers will help me out.

When you receive an invitation that indicates that a certain dress is suggested for a social event how do you respond?

Thanks!

 

[Christine]

Nevermind, I see the poll now.

 

[laurie31]

I'm not sure what you mean. I'm happy to know what I'm expected to wear, or at least the level of formality of the event. I'd be mortified if I showed up in business casual to a white tie event, and I'd be even more mortified if I showed up overdressed for something casual. I see nothing wrong with indicating on the invitation how formal the guests should dress, such as having "black tie," "white tie," "black tie optional," or "business casual" on the invitation. If you mean something different, such as the host specifing a specific outfit or something, then I think that might be overstepping their bounds.

 

[Christine]

I picked that I would attend the event in the required attire; however, I really have two answers.

If it is an event I really want to go to, I will comply with the dress code.

If I don't overly care for the event, I may not feel it is worth it to spring for the fancy clothes, so I will decline.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I picked that I would attend the event in the required attire; however, I really have two answers.

If it is an event I really want to go to, I will comply with the dress code.

If I don't overly care for the event, I may not feel it is worth it to spring for the fancy clothes, so I will decline.

Ditto!

 

[johnsontrio]

This is in reference to a theme party that has taken considerable planning and expense. The suggested dress is in accordance with the theme and is something that anyone could easily and without expense participate in.

 

[Liberty Belle]

This is in reference to a theme party that has taken considerable planning and expense. The suggested dress is in accordance with the theme and is something that anyone could easily and without expense participate in.

Well in that case, attire is a huge part of the party. If someone didn't want to go along with the theme, I don't see why they'd want to attend.

 

[BelleWDW]

Tell us the theme!!


My DH would NEVER do it

 

[Mrs.Toad]

OK, this reminds me of a luau theme party we went to several years ago. My dh hates Aloha shirts, and doesn't own anything remotely resembling one, so since the invitation said to dress Hawaiian, he wore his "Kona Brewing Company" Tshirt from a trip to Hawaii. He was the only guy not in a flowered shirt, but as he said, "It is Hawaiian!"

 

[Pakey]

When our oldest son was going to propose to his (now wife), he had a 30th birthday surprise party for her. Everyone who was invited was asked to wear only black and white. He bought her a turquoise dress as a birthday present to wear to this surprise party; she was the only guest there "in color" and of course her engagement ring was from Tiffany and was presented in the turquoise box.

I can't imagine how unspecial it would have been if someone had shown up wearing something other than black and white. The invitations did not give a reason for the dress attire request; thank goodness everyone followed what the invitations requested.

 

[laurie31]

Ah - now I get it!

I can see someone declining a white tie event if they don't have the clothes, and don''t want the expense of buying something fancy that they might never wear again, but for a theme party that doesn't involve a lot of money, I don't see the problem with going along. As someone said, it's part of the party. If someone has a beach party, and wants everyone to wear Hawaiian shirts or something, I see no problem with that. If I wanted to go to the event, I'd wear what I was supposed to wear. If I was *really* opposed to the suggested dress, then I'd just decline the invitation. No big deal. (I don't see myself at a toga party, for example - lol - but then, I can't imagine anyone WANTING to see me at a toga party )

I'm with Belle - tell us the theme!

 

[Tine731]

When our oldest son was going to propose to his (now wife), he had a 30th birthday surprise party for her. Everyone who was invited was asked to wear only black and white. He bought her a turquoise dress as a birthday present to wear to this surprise party; she was the only guest there "in color" and of course her engagement ring was from Tiffany and was presented in the turquoise box.

I can't imagine how unspecial it would have been if someone had shown up wearing something other than black and white. The invitations did not give a reason for the dress attire request; thank goodness everyone followed what the invitations requested.

Love it! What a great idea.

 

[johnsontrio]

When our oldest son was going to propose to his (now wife), he had a 30th birthday surprise party for her. Everyone who was invited was asked to wear only black and white. He bought her a turquoise dress as a birthday present to wear to this surprise party; she was the only guest there "in color" and of course her engagement ring was from Tiffany and was presented in the turquoise box.

I can't imagine how unspecial it would have been if someone had shown up wearing something other than black and white. The invitations did not give a reason for the dress attire request; thank goodness everyone followed what the invitations requested.

Awwwww... that almost made me cry and I'm not really all that sentimental. What a sweet thing for him to do and an awesome way to communicate the theme of the evening. Not only tying in the Turquiose form the Tiffany's box, but also to have her standing apart from the crowd. Bet the pictures were spectacular.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Ah - now I get it!

I can see someone declining a white tie event if they don't have the clothes, and don''t want the expense of buying something fancy that they might never wear again, but for a theme party that doesn't involve a lot of money, I don't see the problem with going along. As someone said, it's part of the party. If someone has a beach party, and wants everyone to wear Hawaiian shirts or something, I see no problem with that. If I wanted to go to the event, I'd wear what I was supposed to wear. If I was *really* opposed to the suggested dress, then I'd just decline the invitation. No big deal. (I don't see myself at a toga party, for example - lol - but then, I can't imagine anyone WANTING to see me at a toga party )

I'm with Belle - tell us the theme!

Me, too! When I first saw the post, the poll wasn't up yet, and I didn't understand enough to reply. With the new information, I agree with Laurie31.

And add me to the list wanting to know the theme!!!

 

[johnsontrio]

Tell us the theme!!


My DH would NEVER do it

Hope there are no lurkers here that I don't know about...but here goes. My DH has twin sisters that are having a milestone birthday this year. He has asked me to plan a surprise party for them as he feels they are deserving and that their husbands would not do anything particularly special for them.

I have planned the party with a Fabulous Fifties theme and the invitation states "Dress to impress in your fifties best". We have invited coworkers, old high school friends, neighbors, friends from church etc... and our (large) immediate family.

The party is in a banquet hall with DJ, dinner, tons of balloons, rented pink, black and turquoise linens, and even decorations from a company that supplies party backdrops/decorations for proms.

The party is Saturday night. My Dh's other sister informed me yesterday that her three children (ages 17-8) don't feel like dressing up and would not be wearing a costume. I'm really put out by this. I have taken this opportunity to tell my DD that you either accept the invitation, as is, or decline if you don't feel like participating.

I am not expecting anyone to go to a costume rental place or even buy a Halloween type costume. A few adults have asked me when they called in their RSVP "how serious is this 50's dress?" I have replied, "capris and tennis shoes would be fine or white t-shirt rolled with a pack of smokes and a leather jacket, hair slicked back, for the guys. Nothing major, just come and be ready to have a good time."

So that's the deal, hope I haven't blown the surprise... I really wanted to know if I'm that out of touch with what is acceptable party etiquette these days.

 

[Linzybrooke]

Oh, I want to know what the party theme is! I used to love those types of parties!

 

[laurie31]

I have planned the party with a Fabulous Fifties theme and the invitation states "Dress to impress in your fifties best". We have invited coworkers, old high school friends, neighbors, friends from church etc... and our (large) immediate family.
<snip>
So that's the deal, hope I haven't blown the surprise... I really wanted to know if I'm that out of touch with what is acceptable party etiquette these days.

Wow, first off let me say I think that's an awesome theme!! How creative - a 50's party for the twins turning 50!

And my goodness, how easy is it to wear jeans and a white tee?! Who wouldn't have that? My kids have been to 50's parties, and I took the opportunity to get them poodle skirts (cost less than $10 for felt fabric and poodle iron-on) and what adorable pics I got!

Sounds like the other sister has been munching on sour grapes. I wouldn't consider 50's dress a "costume" and I wouldn't have any trouble finding something for my kids to wear without spending a dime. I hope you have a fun party! It's very sweet of you and your DH to think of doing something like this for his sisters.

 

[HannaBelle]

...three children (ages 17-8) don't feel like dressing up and would not be wearing a costume.

The kids need to suck it up and dress-up. This is not about them, it is about someone else's special day! Their mother should know this and use this as a teachable momment.

Besides, since they are twins...they are getting a 2 for 1 deal!

You are right, they suck, but I would highly recommend being the bigger person, don't make a big deal of it and they will look out of place at the party, thus only embarrassing themselves.

It sounds like you have gone to a lot of effort and the party sounds like fun!

 

[Disney Doll]

If it is an event that I want to attend, I RSVP and wear the suggested form of attire. If it is an event that I don't want to attend, for whatever reason, then I RSVP "no thank you".

I don't get where kids ages 8-17 get to dictate to their parents what they "want" and "don't want" to do in a case like this. And then we wonder why our kids are such screwballs.....

I would have been told "You are going to Aunt Mary and Aunt Susie's party and you will wear what the invitation says" and it woul dhave been the end of the discussion. And yes, it would have been the same whether I was the 8 year old or the 17 year old.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I picked that I would attend the event in the required attire; however, I really have two answers.

If it is an event I really want to go to, I will comply with the dress code.

If I don't overly care for the event, I may not feel it is worth it to spring for the fancy clothes, so I will decline.

ITA and so I picked OTHER.