POLL is closed. Lets please let this sticky thread die.

[backalleysally]

I remember being spanked in public school by a teacher with a board. that was out of control abuse.

my parents kept a ping pong paddle they used to make us bring to them. that's abuse.

Neither of those things is abuse, according to the law.

 

[huckster]

NO , i find resorting to hitting in any form is just a lazy way to fool yourself into believing your teaching a lesson..

 

[jenimay]

I have 3 kids, aged 13, 9 and 6. I am a spanker, and in our house a spanking means a series of swats on the bare behind with either an open hand or a ping-pong paddle. It's always done after deliberation, not as an expression of anger. But it does hurt, and they do cry. I'm aware that spanking isn't very politically correct these days, but fortunately we don't have to consult the Gallup Poll before we decide how to discipline our kids.

So just curious, do you still spank your 13 year old on the bare behind?

I guess the poll is closed, but my dh grew up in an abusive household (ie his mom cut his hands with scissors when he cut his sister's flashcards) and i can only think of a couple of times we have spanked our 3 kids over the years and it was always with clothes on, a swat type thing. Dh's sister seems to me to be a copycat of her mother and is an "always quick to react with anger type person", makes me feel bad for her 2 kids.
Jeni

 

[backalleysally]

So just curious, do you still spank your 13 year old on the bare behind?

I guess the poll is closed, but my dh grew up in an abusive household (ie his mom cut his hands with scissors when he cut his sister's flashcards) and i can only think of a couple of times we have spanked our 3 kids over the years and it was always with clothes on, a swat type thing. Dh's sister seems to me to be a copycat of her mother and is an "always quick to react with anger type person", makes me feel bad for her 2 kids.
Jeni

Yes, all 3 kids are spanked on the bare behind. That was how DH and I were both spanked as kids.

I feel bad about your DH's experience, but you have to admit that cutting a kid's hands with scissors isn't exactly in the same category as smacking a bottom. The spankings my kids get certainly hurt (although they probably hurt a lot less than many sports injuries, and nobody gets upset about sports injuries) but they don't do any physical harm and they aren't given in the heat of anger.

 

[MoniqueU]

I have spanked for things like running out into the street or the time my middle daughter squirted blue toothpaste all over my carpet that was brand new. Other times like when she got her self and her baby sister a sharpie marker (they were put up high) and designed all over my walls, big screen tv and living room furniture I just told them to RUN RUN RUN RUN for your rooms.
I have also done time outs with the same middle daughter, that didnt work either because she just got in more stuff and pulled all my makeup out of the bathroom when I put her in there and hoped she would get the point. My youngest you just have to look crosseyed at she will behave instantly. My oldest son spent abouy 5 minutes of every hour on timeout from the time he was one to two, he was a climber and got into all the babyproofed cabinets. My middle daughter did that too. Basically I have spanked, flipped out yelled and ressoned with on all sorts of occasions and the thing that seemed to work the best for me was TIME, they grow out of the pain in the butt stage so soon and then you are back to wishing you had a toddler throwing a tantrum or scaling the fridge.

 

[dimimi]

We choose not to spank. If I can teach a classroom of children and not spank them, I can certainly teach my own children to behave without hitting them. I also agree that if someone chooses to give their child a smack, it is their decision...not a wrong or right decision.

 

[dimimi]

I don't usually debate on the message boards, but I can't understan how someone can spank a 13 year old on their bare bottom...with a ping pong paddle? I guess all of my training in discipline has helped me understand that discipline is to teach a child to behave and teach them logical consequences to their actions. I can't see a life lesson in decision making where doing something wrong would have them be spanked on their bare bottom! I can't imagine what a child would do at 13 to have a spanking? Wouldn't being grounded or having a few extra chores or loosing video games/tv be more appropriate? What will you do at 16? If they are late pull down their pants and spank them? I teach high school students. The students must learn to think for themselves and understand there are logical consequences. For example, if you are late to class you know that after 3 times you have a detention. Students know they can't leave the school grounds at lunch until they are a Junior. If they leave as a freshman they earn a 100 day detention. They learn there are consequences. Although we don't spank, I can't imagine spanking a 13 year old...let alone with a pingpong paddle with their pants down! I'm done, I promise I"ll keep my opinions to myself.

 

[02bBarbie]

(although they probably hurt a lot less than many sports injuries, and nobody gets upset about sports injuries) .

Maybe things are different where I live, but people here don't inflict sports injuries on purpose or as a way to keep someone "under control"

I'm very uncomfortable with the thought of *anyone* spanking a child on the bare bottom. Seems just a little too perverse for my tastes.

 

[meeskamouska]

We do not spank....I think it is odd how when adults hit their children they call it "spanking" but when children hit back or hit siblings it is still called hitting. This revelation is what swung me to the otherside.
I also agree with another poster in that is lazy and gives instant satisfaction that a punishment has been administered.
I grew up in a spanking household and was spanked a handful of times. but as a parent now I cannot image doing it...for any reason.

 

[backalleysally]

I'm very uncomfortable with the thought of *anyone* spanking a child on the bare bottom. Seems just a little too perverse for my tastes.

If someone has a sufficiently perverted mind, they will construe everything as perverted, but that will be their own fault.

 

[backalleysally]

We do not spank....I think it is odd how when adults hit their children they call it "spanking" but when children hit back or hit siblings it is still called hitting. This revelation is what swung me to the otherside.

When a police officer handcuffs someone and takes them to the station, it's called arrest. If I handcuffed someone and took them to my house, it would be called kidnapping. By your logic, the first case would be as illegitimate as the second.

 

[02bBarbie]

If someone has a sufficiently perverted mind, they will construe everything as perverted, but that will be their own fault.

You keep telling yourself that, backdooralleysally

What's the point of spanking on the bare bottom as opposed to the bottom?

Is it to inflict more pain?

Is it because it titillates you?

Is it because you like to thoroughly humiliate your child?

None of those are acceptable to me.

Maybe there's another option but I'm gonna need help figuring it out

 

[jimmiej]

spankem (old school here)

Same here!

 

[backalleysally]

What's the point of spanking on the bare bottom as opposed to the bottom?

It stings more and it's more embarrassing, and therefore it's a better deterrent to the behavior one is trying to deter. I don't care if that's acceptable to anyone. If it's legal and it works well for my family, I do it. No consultation is needed.

 

[02bBarbie]

Ah, so it's more humiliating and more painful - gotcha. Let me make a note in my parenting journal about that.

BTW, you appear to be a very pro spanking person - a decent percentage of your posts on the DIS are on spanking threads. That just strikes me as, well, odd. And you can call me the perverted one all you want. I'm not the one beating my child on the bare buttocks.

 

[smartestnumber5]

Ah, so it's more humiliating and more painful - gotcha. Let me make a note in my parenting journal about that.

Other folks on the DIS have also admitted that they spank the bare butt because it is more humiliating to the child. I'm generally somewhat anti-spanking for the violence aspect of it (I'm using "violence" here with its common sense meaning--"hitting/kicking/punching/slapping/intending to cause pain") but I don't have really, really strong feelings on it. But I'm definitely quite disturbed at the idea of purposely humiliating a child in a sexual manner as punishment. (I mean, we're always telling kids that their butt is one of their special private areas that no one should ever touch--oh, except when mommy or daddy touches it in a way that causes pain.) Heck, why not skip the spanking and just make the kid walk around the neighborhood naked if sexual humiliation is the goal!

And a 13 year old When I was 13 I was an almost fully developed female already. I had a my period, had C cup breasts, pubic hair, had figured out a good amount sexually, and knew about spanking as a sexual activity amongst adults. I cannot even fathom a parent spanking an almost fully sexually developed teen girl. (Or boy for that matter.) I mean, before her father demands that she pull her panties down and expose her naked body to him, does he ask if she has her period? I would think pulling one's panties down at that time of the month could result in quite a mess not to mention scar her for LIFE!

 

[meeskamouska]

When a police officer handcuffs someone and takes them to the station, it's called arrest. If I handcuffed someone and took them to my house, it would be called kidnapping. By your logic, the first case would be as illegitimate as the second.

Trying to stir up debate....I stand behind what I said....no matter what twisted way you try to argue it.

 

[02bBarbie]

But I'm definitely quite disturbed at the idea of purposely humiliating a child in a sexual manner as punishment. (I mean, we're always telling kids that their butt is one of their special private areas that no one should ever touch--oh, except when mommy or daddy touches it in a way that causes pain.) Heck, why not skip the spanking and just make the kid walk around the neighborhood naked if sexual humiliation is the goal!

I am glad I'm not the only one. Personally, I don't have an issue with an occasional pop to the bottom. I have huge issues with paddling a 13 year old's bare bottom

And a 13 year old When I was 13 I was an almost fully developed female already. I had a my period, had C cup breasts, pubic hair, had figured out a good amount sexually, and knew about spanking as a sexual activity amongst adults. I cannot even fathom a parent spanking an almost fully sexually developed teen girl. (Or boy for that matter.) I mean, before her father demands that she pull her panties down and expose her naked body to him, does he ask if she has her period? I would think pulling one's panties down at that time of the month could result in quite a mess not to mention scar her for LIFE!

I suspect we'll just be accused of being the perverted ones tho

 

[pearlieq]

I don't believe in spanking. I think it's lazy and/or misguided parenting. I don't think a parent who spanks is a bad parent overall, but I feel it's bad parenting and my esteem for them slips a few notches. I could never call them an exceptionally good/skilled parent.

I remember a few spankings as a child and I respect my mother less for it. I obviously still love her very much, but those moments aren't going on her highlight reel. I don't look back on them and think "yeah, it was probably for the best". It's more like "she could have made a better choice in those situations, but she's human and made mistakes like we all do".

 

[MoniqueU]

Well I have I am sure a time or two spanked my kids when they were younger on the bare butt. I am not sure WHY I did this, it wasn't intentionally to cause shame or anything, I think I was honestly just trying to get the point across. Looking back on it it probably wasnt the best choice. I like the RUN RUN RUN option better LOL.

HOWEVER, I would never pull the pants down on a 13 year old or any child near puberty or whatever. That is just appalling to me. I had to take my oldest daughter, my middle child to the dr last week and she had to undress from the waist down, she was so mortified and I was for her that I just can't imagine putting her in that position as a punishment. My heart was litterally breaking for her and I held her hand the whole time. I also have a near 14 year old boy and I just can't fathom spanking his bare butt for any reason. That is just weird, legal in someones mind or not. I also think if I even tried to do something like that to my kids they would know that that is WRONG and fight me to the death not to mention tell their father on me. If my husband did it, he would be on the outside of the house and the frontside of some child support payments.