Plz help.....teenaged son's girlfriend is pregnant UPDATE ON PG 13

[legalsea]

Link to Florida law concerning this situation:

http://www.flsenate.gov/STATUTES/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=Ch0800/SEC04.HTM&Title=->2008->Ch0800->Section%2004#0800.04

6) LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS CONDUCT.--

(a) A person who:

1. Intentionally touches a person under 16 years of age in a lewd or lascivious manner; or

2. Solicits a person under 16 years of age to commit a lewd or lascivious act

commits lewd or lascivious conduct.

(b) An offender 18 years of age or older who commits lewd or lascivious conduct commits a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

(c) An offender less than 18 years of age who commits lewd or lascivious conduct commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Doesn't matter...
It doesn't matter if it were purposeful entrapment or coercion or whatever.

The OP's son is a 15 year old child...
A 15 year old child who will soon have a baby by an 18 year old adult.

That is why the laws are what they are.

My only concern would be my son...
not the girl,
not the fact that I love beautiful babies.

 

[MizTink]

I hate to say this....
I know you are emotional and excited right now...

But, put the brakes on... HARD...

This baby is this girls baby...
You are way to 'vested' here....
Your son is a 15 year old child....
This is about her, and about your son.
It may NOT be the best idea to bring a 15 year olds nearly-adult sexual partner into your home.

As we all have been saying....
Think about your son... your 15 year old child...
Not the fact that you would be so vested in taking over and having a 'beautiful baby'.

omg.....her living with us would be the absolute last resort. i'm just saying that i could see it eventually happening. eventually. maybe...

and i don't agree that "this baby is her baby". it is THEIR baby. and they are both way too young to do this alone. i feel i have as much of a responsibility to her and the baby as my son does. he can only offer so much at his age. if they were older i think i could separate myself more. but not now, no way. hopefully what the adults have to offer will make up for what they are lacking themselves.
i will be there for her even more because her mom probably won't be.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Keeping in mind that there will be a new child, the "parents" are also still children themselves. I hope someone wise is recommending or encouraging adoption here.
If not you are all certainly jumping head first into many episodes of Jerry Springer especially with how her family seems to be.....

Best of luck to you all OP, and I hope I didn't offend with my thoughts here.

No offense...
I am a huge supporter of adoption!!!

But, something tells me that there is not a snowball chance in he!! that this girl is considering adoption.

And, the 15 year old father's mother is goo-goo and gaa-gaa eyed, ready to decorate a nursury and shop for baby stuff.

..sigh..

PS: as far as I know, parents rights do not only apply to 'adult' parents... the mother is STILL the mother. HER baby...

 

[DisMN]

No offense...
I am a huge supporter of adoption!!!

But, something tells me that there is not a snowball chance in he!! that this girl is considering adoption.

And, the 15 year old child's mother is goo-goo and gaa-gaa eyed, ready to decorate a nursury and shop for baby stuff.

..sigh..

PS: as far as I know, parents rights do not only apply to 'adult' parents... the mother is STILL the mother. HER baby...

I agree with you....I just thought I'd put it out there. LOL

 

[cruisnfamily]

oh boy.....i got a call yesterday at work from my 15 year old son. he told me that his 17 yr old girlfriend is pregnant.

he had to call from school and tell me over the phone (while i was at work) before his school resource officer called to tell me.

i really don't know what's going to happen. she's already 5 months along and i just found out. i know they are terrified, and on top of being pregnant, we just found out that the state attorney might press felony charges against her because of their age differences.

me and my ex-husband are going over to talk to her parents today at 3:00. i don't think it's going to go too good......they are trying to keep the kids apart now. too late for that.
and from what i know of her step-dad, he is just a rude, mean, drunken a**hole.

what a mess.........

Not that it matters at all but I'm curious about this. How did the school resource officer get involved? Why would he be calling to tell you ? Is that how the state attorney got involved? I just ask because I'm sure there are lots and lots of pregnant girls in high schools that don't end up crossing paths with the school resource officer.

Also, did your son and the girl know before yesterday? I'm assuming that they did know but I'm curious as to maybe this was news to your son just yesterday. How long had they been dating and are they still dating? What grade are they in?

 

[MizTink]

The OP's son is a 15 year old child...
A 15 year old child who will soon have a baby by an 18 year old adult.

I don't know how much of a difference it makes but my son will be 16 in a month. and she just turned 17. she will still be 17 when the baby is born. so 16 & 17.....
he is a sophmore and she is a junior in the same high school. they have a couple classes together.

My only concern would be my son...
not the girl,
not the fact that I love beautiful babies.

wow.......

 

[Shmily1]

OP, I have the reverse situation. My DD (recently turned 18) will be the one having a baby in 10 weeks or less and DBF just turned 16. They dated for over a year, had just broken up but were still talking, and now are parents. Trust me, not all 17 year old females are trying to get out of a situation and trap a guy! Sometimes things just happen.

I would certainly think that the DA would look at the letters you and your DS signed and say there is no way the jurors will convict her and it will be a waste of time to prosecute this one and a total waste of tax dollars. Trust me, they want the big fish!

OP, try your best to be open and honest with your DS and his GF. Tell them what is available to them. Be sure GF and DGBaby has the best care they can get. She can get Medicaid if she doesn't have insurance (they asked DD if she had ins when we went for the first visit-and we do) or needs it for a back up to pay her deductible.

Keeping them apart is not a good thing. Right now, they need each other and the parents' support more now than they ever have. They are children making adult decisions. Give them advice, but also know that it's just advice. It sure makes them grow up quick!!

Now for the fun part--DD had had several sonograms so far. We've known the baby was a boy for several weeks, but we went last week for the 4D sonogram. It costs $150 cash at her Drs office but it was sooo worth it!! He is going to be beautiful!! DD's shower is Saturday and she is very excited. Everything she does now is a decision for him. Her birthday present was a trip to St Augustine to buy baby clothes and stuff for him. She couldn't think of anything she wanted for herself.

Look on the freebie threads and sign them up for all the parents magazine and free samples they can get. Also, if you can get them the book What to Expect when you are Expecting, that is most helpful. babygaga.com is also a great place for them to get information on what is going on with her body as well as the baby.

If you have questions, PM me. I'll do my best to give you all the information I can. Good luck!! I know you will love it as much as I will love baby Aaden!!!

 

[MizTink]

Not that it matters at all but I'm curious about this. How did the school resource officer get involved? Why would he be calling to tell you ? Is that how the state attorney got involved? I just ask because I'm sure there are lots and lots of pregnant girls in high schools that don't end up crossing paths with the school resource officer.

Also, did your son and the girl know before yesterday? I'm assuming that they did know but I'm curious as to maybe this was news to your son just yesterday. How long had they been dating and are they still dating? What grade are they in?

i'm not really sure why she (the resource officer) is involved. but from what i gather the school counselor told her. the officer talked to both kids at school yesterday and had my son write a statement that it was consensual. because he is a minor they had to notify me that they had spoken to him. he asked the officer if he could call and tell me before they did.

yes, both the kids have known she was pregnant. they were just scared to tell us i guess. they said they weren't 100% sure because she was having irregular periods before this. and then still had her period for a couple months after she was pregnant.
they have known each other for a several years and have been a couple for nearly 1 year. yes they are still together now and say that they are in love.

 

[legalsea]

i'm not really sure why she (the resource officer) is involved. but from what i gather the school counselor told her. the officer talked to both kids at school yesterday and had my son write a statement that it was consensual. because he is a minor they had to notify me that they had spoken to him. he asked the officer if he could call and tell me before they did.

yes, both the kids have known she was pregnant. they were just scared to tell us i guess. they said they weren't 100% sure because she was having irregular periods before this. and then still had her period for a couple months after she was pregnant.
they have known each other for a several years and have been a couple for nearly 1 year. yes they are still together now and say that they are in love.

Probably decidual bleeding. Once a woman is pregnant the 'periods' end.

 

[MizTink]

And, the 15 year old father's mother is goo-goo and gaa-gaa eyed, ready to decorate a nursury and shop for baby stuff.

..sigh...

uh yeah. i don't think so........
i don't remember saying that

there's just no point in beating them up over it now. the damage is done and we'll ALL have to deal with it. no reason to make a bad situation worse.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think you should obtain legal counsel to protect your (collectively) interests. The waters seem very murky here. I wouldn't be happy that anyone was having my son sign legal forms without my knowledge or consent. It may seem like a lot of money now, but it could be peanuts compared to what you could have to pay down the road if things don't go well for your son. Good luck.

 

[MizTink]

thanks Shmily1
DIS Veteran

 

[lisajl]

Hey-just a

My sister ended up getting pregnant when she was 16, stuff happens.
Just breath and don't lose your cool when you talk to the parents.

Good luck with the baby. I hope all goes well.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think you should obtain legal counsel to protect your (collectively) interests. The waters seem very murky here. I wouldn't be happy that anyone was having my son sign legal forms without my knowledge or consent. It may seem like a lot of money now, but it could be peanuts compared to what you could have to pay down the road if things don't go well for your son. Good luck.

Ditto.

Horsecrap that a minor signed forms without parental notification/additional signature. That can be used against him.

Legal counsel is imperative here. This is not a normal situation, legally speaking and your son's parental rights are at stake.

 

[horseshowmom]

omg.....her living with us would be the absolute last resort. i'm just saying that i could see it eventually happening. eventually. maybe...

and i don't agree that "this baby is her baby". it is THEIR baby. and they are both way too young to do this alone. i feel i have as much of a responsibility to her and the baby as my son does. he can only offer so much at his age. if they were older i think i could separate myself more. but not now, no way. hopefully what the adults have to offer will make up for what they are lacking themselves.
i will be there for her even more because her mom probably won't be.

I commend you for trying to deal with the situation as well as you can. I have no doubt that you're still in shock. Becoming outraged and blaming everybody in sight would NOT help the situation at all. There's a baby on the way and he/she needs there to be a rational adult in the mix when he/she arrives.

But, something tells me that there is not a snowball chance in he!! that this girl is considering adoption.

And, the 15 year old father's mother is goo-goo and gaa-gaa eyed, ready to decorate a nursury and shop for baby stuff.

I don't think the "goo-goo and gaa-gaa" statement is quite fair. The OP is struggling to deal with a pretty world shaking event and trying to find something positive in it to help her get through it.

there's just no point in beating them up over it now. the damage is done and we'll ALL have to deal with it. no reason to make a bad situation worse.

I agree (and I'm about as conservative as they come)!

 

[okeydokey]

Did your son say what he wanted to do? Does he want to parent this child or give it up for adoption? I hope they can decide together what's best.

 

[MariDisney]

I have only read 2 pages in here. But, I wanted to suggest that instead of everyone gearing up for having a new baby that perhaps it makes more sense to encourage these children to put this baby up for adoption. Although certainly some folks with a 15 year old father do OK, I believe that the best future for this baby would be to be with grown up parents in a stable home who want to have a newborn.

Hugs to you, OP, I can imagine this must be a terribly emotional time for you. We'll be praying for your family and this little one.

 

[ckay87]

No offense...


And, the 15 year old father's mother is goo-goo and gaa-gaa eyed, ready to decorate a nursury and shop for baby stuff.

..sigh..

Aw that's kind of mean. I wouldn't make fun of her for ANY amount of optimism she is able to muster up. Can't you imagine how hard this must be? When faced with some terribly difficult situation, some people (incl. me) try to find any piece of positive, just to help them get through it.

 

[yoopermom]

Why don't teenage parents seem to consider adoption anymore? My parents had me when they were 16 (back in the "dark ages" of the '60s), but that was considered quite unusual, to get married when you find out about the pregnancy, and keep the child. More girls "went away" and then gave the baby up for adoption. I remember when "Juno" came out that many of my h.s. students were shocked that the main character considered adoption.

Terri