I'm so overwhelmed by all of your responses. I guess some of you hit the proverbial "nail on the head" with my anxiety. I guess it really does have a lot to do with my Mom's passing. At first, I kept thinking that if we go away, the pain won't be there, but I do know in my heart, that no matter where I am trying to avoid a holiday, the pain will still be there. I can run but I can't hide.
We have talked about it some more over this weekend & my 8 y/o DS had one of those looks like one of those frantic mornings when he had to call 911 as I was trying to desperately help my Mother. I had not seen that "look" for a while & I think the thought of us cancelling a trip that he is just living for would not be in the best interest of my oldest child. I just don't know though....
Maybe it is just anxiety & I need to relax but there is so much left to do & I'm running out of time. I don't handle stress well these days. Anyway, thank you all so very much for your responses.