Please......some prayers-FINAL ? UPDATE-POST 47

[freddog]

I will try to be brief. DH has been struggling with depression (undiagnosed, as he didn't want to go to a doctor about it) for quite a few years. Things have been getting worse and worse, and this weekend he reached a breaking point.

He was crying and telling me he couldn't stop thinking about how much better off we would be if he killed himself. We'd have life insurance money, he'd be able to get away from a job he doesn't like, he'd be able to finally be together with a baby we lost some years back, etc. He told me he thought he would prob use pills and make sure it was somewhere the kids wouldn't find him, etc.

Needless, to say, I have been trying this whole weekend to get him to agree to get help. I know, folks'll say I should've called 911 or something, but I really didn't know what to do. Honestly, sounds crazy, but it's true.

Anyway, he asked me this morning to take him to the hospital. I just got back. They, of course, admitted him for at least 3 days, they said.

I am so relieved that he is getting help, but am also feeling so many other emotions right now. I don't know what to tell the kids, although I am sure they know more than I give them credit for. (they didn't see him crying or talking about suicide).

Anyway, please offer some prayers for my family. I have just been crying and crying for him and me and the kids.....

 

[focusondisney]

I will try to be brief. DH has been struggling with depression (undiagnosed, as he didn't want to go to a doctor about it) for quite a few years. Things have been getting worse and worse, and this weekend he reached a breaking point.

He was crying and telling me he couldn't stop thinking about how much better off we would be if he killed himself. We'd have life insurance money, he'd be able to get away from a job he doesn't like, he'd be able to finally be together with a baby we lost some years back, etc. He told me he thought he would prob use pills and make sure it was somewhere the kids wouldn't find him, etc.

Needless, to say, I have been trying this whole weekend to get him to agree to get help. I know, folks'll say I should've called 911 or something, but I really didn't know what to do. Honestly, sounds crazy, but it's true.

Anyway, he asked me this morning to take him to the hospital. I just got back. They, of course, admitted him for at least 3 days, they said.

I am so relieved that he is getting help, but am also feeling so many other emotions right now. I don't know what to tell the kids, although I am sure they know more than I give them credit for. (they didn't see him crying or talking about suicide).

Anyway, please offer some prayers for my family. I have just been crying and crying for him and me and the kids.....

So sorry you are going thru this. Your family will be in my prayers. I'm sure you did the best you could to get him thru the weekend. I hope he will get the help he needs now that he is in the hospital. Hugs & wishing better days ahead.....

 

[kirbydog48]

First off, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. What a worry it must be. I think it's a good sign that he wanted to go to the hospital. Is it a regular hospital or a psych hospital? I think he might need a longer hospitalization (this is my opinion, I'm not a healthcare professional) to get him on the correct medication, start with therapy, etc. The thing to remember is that depression is a result of an abnormality in one's brain chemistry, not a character defect. Wishing you good luck!

 

[Brit17]

... wishing you and your family all the best and sending prayers your way ...

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

This is like finding out one has a treatable disease. You can get through it, together...

 

[krcit]

Prayers are being said for all of you. So scary.

 

[PatsMom]

Good luck. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Depression is tough but you can deal with it. Therapy and medication can be of great help.

As to what to tell the kids, if they are very young I would just tell them that Daddy is ill and has to go to the hospital to get better. If they are older I would tell them the truth, Dad is clinically depressed and needs help to get back on track. And that you will deal with illness like any other, as a family.

 

[tinkntraining]

I'm so sorry, OP. Depression is a terrible, terrible disease. Speaking from someone who's suffered with the disease, and who's lost a loved one to suicide, I think you did the right thing. And I think it's a positive sign that after talking about how he'd do it, your DH reached out for help. He's where he needs to be right now. IIRC, he can check himself out of treatment after 72-hours. Hopefully, you can convince him that he needs to stay put. I pray he stays in treatment at least long enough to give his meds a chance to work, or long enough to get some serious therapy.

Hugs and prayers to you, your DH and your children. Depression has many victims: it doesn't just affect the patient. I don't know how old your kids are right now. If they're young, just tell them that "Daddy's sick and he's in the hospital where the doctor's can help him". If they're older, your probably right, they know more than you give them credit for. In that case, be honest and tell them what happened.

I hope you have friends and/or family nearby. I truly feel your pain.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

Depression is a horrible thing. I'm so glad that he decided to get help. Here's many hugs for you and your family.

 

[Mandychelle79]

Was he a voluntary or involuntary admit? ( At least this is how it is in PA, not sure how states differ)

If he was involuntary the maximum time they can hold him is 3 days before having a hearing for him. At the hearing the doctor and staff will provide evidence on why his time should be extended for treatment and the extension is usually 30days but can be discharged before the 30 days if the doctor thinks he is ready. At 30 days another hearing would be held and restarted.

If hes a voluntary admit, he has to give the doctor a 72 hour notice to before he can leave and if the doctor feels that he is still a risk to himself or others apply for a involuntary admit.

When someone is on a voluntary admit they are usually there for about a week or two before they are discharged but they do have criteria that the staff want them to meet before discharge. Being complaint with meds is a big one, so is having a support system set up incase of having a relapse.

(((( Hugs )))) to you and your family. Please make sure to visit him during his stay. You wouldnt believe how many patients dont get visitors and how family visits brighten their outlook.

 

[freddog]

Was he a voluntary or involuntary admit? ( At least this is how it is in PA, not sure how states differ)

If he was involuntary the maximum time they can hold him is 3 days before having a hearing for him. At the hearing the doctor and staff will provide evidence on why his time should be extended for treatment and the extension is usually 30days but can be discharged before the 30 days if the doctor thinks he is ready. At 30 days another hearing would be held and restarted.

If hes a voluntary admit, he has to give the doctor a 72 hour notice to before he can leave and if the doctor feels that he is still a risk to himself or others apply for a involuntary admit.

When someone is on a voluntary admit they are usually there for about a week or two before they are discharged but they do have criteria that the staff want them to meet before discharge. Being complaint with meds is a big one, so is having a support system set up incase of having a relapse.

(((( Hugs )))) to you and your family. Please make sure to visit him during his stay. You wouldnt believe how many patients dont get visitors and how family visits brighten their outlook.

He was a voluntary admit. The visiting hours suck!! Just 1- 1/2 hours 2 days during the week and 2 hours on each weekend day. And he was bothered because they wouldn't let him keep his cell phone. He wanted to be able to text us and keep in touch. I am sure there's a reason for the limited contact, but that bothers me that I can't be there with him.

 

[lovemygoofy]

He was a voluntary admit. The visiting hours suck!! Just 1- 1/2 hours 2 days during the week and 2 hours on each weekend day. And he was bothered because they wouldn't let him keep his cell phone. He wanted to be able to text us and keep in touch. I am sure there's a reason for the limited contact, but that bothers me that I can't be there with him.

The reason is that not all family is good for the patient. Limited contact is needed while the paitent is healing. Sometimes, not in this case, that family is the reason the patient has went that way.

I will say a prayer for you and your family. Best wishes and hope your husband is on the road to recovery.

ETA: the patient needs to focus on healing and the therapy and I think even though the family means well they can get in the way. They want to help but really it has to be the patient doing the actions and making the ways.

 

[Mandychelle79]

He was a voluntary admit. The visiting hours suck!! Just 1- 1/2 hours 2 days during the week and 2 hours on each weekend day. And he was bothered because they wouldn't let him keep his cell phone. He wanted to be able to text us and keep in touch. I am sure there's a reason for the limited contact, but that bothers me that I can't be there with him.

We have a pay phone for patient use with certain restrictions on it. Or if family members call in we have a portable phone that they can use ( I work on geriatric psych so we are a little more lenient with things than the general psych side)

Visiting hours are limited where I work too, not quite that bad, but are limited. I think there are 1 hour per day during the week and 2 hours per day on the weekend for general pysch.

Hospitals have a list of contraband and cell phone is one thing that is banned where I work too. Not sure the reason behind it, other than some people would spend all day on it and not attend group sessions which are one major form of therapy offered.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I will try to be brief. DH has been struggling with depression (undiagnosed, as he didn't want to go to a doctor about it) for quite a few years. Things have been getting worse and worse, and this weekend he reached a breaking point.

He was crying and telling me he couldn't stop thinking about how much better off we would be if he killed himself. We'd have life insurance money, he'd be able to get away from a job he doesn't like, he'd be able to finally be together with a baby we lost some years back, etc. He told me he thought he would prob use pills and make sure it was somewhere the kids wouldn't find him, etc.

Needless, to say, I have been trying this whole weekend to get him to agree to get help. I know, folks'll say I should've called 911 or something, but I really didn't know what to do. Honestly, sounds crazy, but it's true.

Anyway, he asked me this morning to take him to the hospital. I just got back. They, of course, admitted him for at least 3 days, they said.

I am so relieved that he is getting help, but am also feeling so many other emotions right now. I don't know what to tell the kids, although I am sure they know more than I give them credit for. (they didn't see him crying or talking about suicide).

Anyway, please offer some prayers for my family. I have just been crying and crying for him and me and the kids.....

I am so sorry to hear that you are going thru this. I will keep your DH, you, and your children in my thoughts.

 

[ead79]

I'm sorry to hear your DH is struggling with depression, but I'm glad to hear he's getting help. My prayers are with all of you, as I know this is difficult.

 

[dislaney]

I'm glad he is getting the help he needs as I know this is so hard to deal with. I'm saying a prayer for your family.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this, but so happy he asked you to take him to the hospital. That is huge. Things should start to get better soon.

 

[pilotwife_02]

I'm sorry your DH and your family are going through this hard time, but like others have said I'm glad he reached out to you for help and was willing to get it.

Prayers are with you and your family as you go through this difficult time.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i'm so sorry you have to go thru this! i'm just glad that he decided to finally go and get some help!

and if you're worried about telling the kids, just say something along the lines of "dad is sick, he just needs some rest to get better" i'm sure they'll understand.

you're in my thoughts